Thoughtful

  Over his shoulder, Denny met my eye and smiled. “No, mate, you can’t.” He put a few things in the fridge, then shut the door. Turning to face me, he said, “I’m done though. Want to find a game to watch?”

  I suddenly remembered something else about Denny. He liked sports a heck of a lot more than I did. Probably why Dad had connected with him more than he had me. Well, one of many reasons why. But I didn’t have anything better to do since there was no rehearsal today, so I shrugged and told him, “Sure.” I could sit through sports to hang out with him.

  Denny grinned like I’d given him the best news ever. I laughed again and stood up to put my notebook back in the junk drawer. I probably should tuck that one away in my bedroom so Kiera or Denny didn’t find it, but thousands of people had hazel eyes. I could be singing about anybody. Or nobody. Not every song was based on reality.

  I listened for Kiera upstairs more than I watched the sports highlights on TV. That was far more interesting. I could hear her clunking around her room, and I even heard her drop something and swear. That made me snort. Her innocent face seemed incapable of saying a bad word.

  When she finally came downstairs, I gave her a polite smile. I wasn’t sure if she saw me though; her eyes were only on Denny. When she saw him sprawled across the couch, a blissful smile graced her lips. She crawled on top of him, then wiggled her way between him and the couch. Denny’s arm went around her waist while Kiera tossed her leg over his and laid her head on his chest. Denny sighed, kissing her head, and Kiera’s content expression never left her. If anything, she became even more at peace.

  An ache vibrated through my chest as I watched them. It was like seeing warmth and love personified. No one had ever touched me like that. Not in a nonsexual way. Not for purely the joy of contact, with no other plan or agenda. Watching what they had together was almost too much to bear, but I couldn’t turn my eyes away either. Was that the way love was supposed to look? Calm, happy, peaceful? I’d never seen it that way. Not really. I’d seen anger, jealousy, bitterness, and resentment. Love equaled pain in my world. And I generally tried to avoid pain.

  Kiera’s eyes shifted over to me. There was a question in the brownish-green depths. A question I didn’t want her to ask, because somehow, I knew I would eventually answer her, and it would hurt like hell when I did. Thankfully, she closed her eyes and remained silent. Then, surrounded in her sea of serenity, she drifted off to sleep. For a moment, I wasn’t sure who I was more envious of: Kiera, for the peace she was experiencing, or Denny, because he’d found someone amazing to share it with.

  Chapter 4

  Burned Out

  While Denny rested and Kiera snoozed, I trudged upstairs to get ready for my night. After showering and shaving, I picked out a red long-sleeved shirt to wear, tossed on some deodorant that I thought smelled pretty good, and worked some product through my hair.

  My guitar was still in the car from last night’s performance, so I grabbed my wallet and headed downstairs to let Denny know I was leaving. When I got to the bottom of the stairs though, I could see he was busy. Kiera was awake now, and she’d apparently woken up horny. Denny was massaging her butt while she squirmed on his lap. I couldn’t tell where her head was, but I could bet she was licking his neck or something. I chuckled as I walked toward the coat hooks in the entryway. Living with these two was going to be like living with honeymooners, I could already tell.

  Kiera must have heard me laugh. She sat straight up on Denny’s lap like I’d just poked her with a cattle prod. She had a flush from her cheeks to her chest, and her eyes were wide like she was mortified. For kissing? Was she that shy? Thinking of how different she was from the girls I knew made me laugh even harder.

  “Sorry,” I chuckled, grabbing my coat. “I’ll be out of your hair in a minute…if you want to wait.” I paused, considering. “Or don’t. It really doesn’t bother me.” I already knew that Kiera wasn’t the type to ever be okay with having sex right in front of me, and I knew I shouldn’t make her any more embarrassed than she already was, but she was so damn cute, it was hard not to tease her.

  She immediately hopped off Denny, sitting as far on the other end of the couch as possible. She looked over at Denny with bunched brows and pursed lips. He must have had the same amused expression as I did, because her mood didn’t change any. Looking flustered as well as embarrassed, she glanced up at me and barked out, “Where are you going?”

  Her tone of voice surprised me a little, but I figured it was mainly from being teased. She seemed to immediately realize she was being rough, and I could see her calming herself as I answered. “Pete’s. We’ve got another gig there tonight.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes drifted over my hair and my clothes, like she was finally noticing that I was dressed differently. The inspection made my breath quicken.

  Wanting to cover that reaction, I asked, “Do you guys want to go…?” I couldn’t resist another tease, so I gave them a playful smile and finished with “…Or stay here?”

  Once again, Kiera seemed to answer before thinking. A gut reaction. “No, we’ll go. Sure.”

  “Really?” Denny said, sounding a little disappointed. He must have been looking forward to me leaving them alone for the night. Oops. Didn’t mean to cock-block him. I did like the idea of Denny listening to a full set though, so he could really hear how much I’d grown, in the musical sense.

  Kiera fiddled with a strand of her hair, like she was thinking of an explanation for her assertive statement. Interesting. To Denny, she timidly said, “Yeah, they sounded really good last night. I was hoping to hear a little more.”

  “All right. I’ll get my keys.” Denny sighed, slowly sitting up on the couch.

  I couldn’t help but wonder if Kiera really meant what she’d just said about the band. She’d seemed sincere when we’d been talking earlier today, but she hadn’t seemed sincere when she’d told Denny she wanted to go. Which one was it? I wasn’t sure. She glanced up at me while Denny stood, and I suddenly saw the truth in her eyes and her shy smile. She may have unthinkingly blurted out something she might or might not have wanted to do tonight, but what she’d just said was true. She did want to hear more. I tried not to read too much into that. It was the music she liked.

  Shaking my head at the idea that I’d actually coerced her into going to Pete’s by embarrassing her, I told them, “Okay, I’ll see you there then.”

  I thought about Kiera on the way to the bar. Sometimes she was easy to read, sometimes she was impossible to gauge. But nothing I’d seen so far was mean or malicious. She was kind and sweet, easily embarrassed and unnecessarily shy, innocent and naïve, yet seductive and playful too. Even though I was sure we were roughly the same age, I felt like I was a million years older than her. It made me want to protect her, even though that was truly Denny’s job, since he was her boyfriend. Well, I could play a big brother role in her life. A friend. Someone for her to lean on. I had a feeling she’d need that, living so far away from her home and family.

  There were a couple of beers in front of each of my bandmates when I got to Pete’s; they’d been here for a while. I had some catching up to do. After grabbing a beer from Rita, I took a seat by Griffin. “Want to hear what I did last night?” he said, looking over at me.

  Matt, across from me, sighed. “If he says no, will you actually keep your mouth shut?”

  Griffin tossed a look Matt’s way. “Suck it.” He returned his eyes to mine and started in on his story without even waiting for my answer. “So, there were these two blond chicks at the show last night…Melody, Harmony, Cadence, Tempo…I don’t know, their names were something musical…”

  I glanced at Evan sitting beside Matt and he mouthed, Tempo? I tried not to laugh as I took a sip of my beer and returned my attention to Griffin. “Anyway,” he said, waving his hand, “they were on fire for me, like practically humping me in the parking lot.” Against my will, an image of Griffin being mauled leaped into my head. “They invited me to this aft
erparty, right. A bunch of people were playing drinking games in the kitchen, so me and one of the blondes sat down to play…”

  Griffin smacked my shoulder and raised his eyebrows, like I wouldn’t believe what happened next. While I wasn’t sure what might have gone down during the game, I had a pretty good idea how his story ended. I’d heard variations of this before.

  Leaning in, Griffin told me, “She eye-fucked me for a good twenty minutes. I was hard as a fucking rock!” He closed his eyes like he was remembering…or he was getting hard thinking about it. I seriously hoped not. Opening his eyes, he told us, “This girl, damn, she had the best rack I’ve ever seen.” About a foot and a half away from his chest, he mimed boobs with his hands. “And the shortest skirt too. Everybody around us was completely wasted, so I ducked under the table and shoved that skirt as high as it would go. Then I grabbed my beer bottle and stuck—”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I happened to notice people approaching the table. I instinctively smacked Griffin across the chest to get him to shut up. His stories usually weren’t safe for mixed company, especially with what I was sure he’d done with that bottle.

  While Griffin looked confused, I glanced over to see Denny and Kiera standing at the end of the table. Kiera was bright red and looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here. She’d definitely heard him then.

  “Dude…I’m getting to the good part, hold on.”

  He looked like he was about to resume his story, so I quickly interrupted. “Griff…” I pointed at our new arrivals. “My new roommates are here.”

  “Oh yeah…roommates.” Griffin gave them a cursory glance, then turned back to me with a pout. “I miss Joey, man…She was hot! Seriously, why did you have to tap that? Not that I blame you, but—”

  I quickly cut him off with a hard rap on the chest. Griffin could get exceedingly graphic if left unchecked. And I didn’t really want Kiera to know what happened with Joey. She wouldn’t understand. She’d think I was a pig. Wait, what? It shouldn’t matter what she thought of me. With a surprising amount of effort, I shoved that thought out of my mind.

  Ignoring Griffin’s annoyance, I pointed up at my roommates. “Guys, this is my friend Denny and his girlfriend, Kiera.”

  I looked around for more chairs while Denny and Kiera said their hellos. Spotting some at the table across from us, I stood up and walked over to where a couple of girls were staring our way. Both women started getting a little frantic as I approached, so I figured they were fans. With a disarming smile on my lips, I walked over to the girl beside the two empty chairs I needed. I leaned over the back of her chair so I could talk directly into her ear; it was pretty noisy in here.

  She was shaking as I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry to intrude, but would it be all right with you if I took a couple of your chairs for my friends?” She nodded that it was okay, and her friend giggled. I thanked her, straightened, then grabbed the two chairs for Kiera and Denny. There was a lot of tittering behind me as I walked away.

  Kiera was watching me as I set the chairs at the end of the table. She seemed a little uncomfortable with the friendly flirting I’d done to get the chairs. “Here, have a seat.” Kiera frowned as she took a seat, and I had to stop myself from laughing. She was even cuter when she was uneasy.

  When I caught Rita looking my way, I motioned to her to send two more beers to the table. She gave me an Anything for you smile, grabbed some beers, and handed them to Jenny. I turned to Denny while Jenny worked her way over to us. “So, what are you going to be doing at your new job anyway?” I asked him.

  Denny gave me an amused smile. “A little bit of everything.” He started going into the specifics of what he’d be doing for the advertising company, and I could hear both the nervousness and excitement in his voice. Since Kiera was sitting between us at the table, she was in my line of sight as I listened to Denny. It seemed like she’d heard his story before, so she was checking out the bar. Her eyes drifted over the front windows, plastered with neon bar signs, to the darkened stage, waiting for us to play. Then she shifted her attention to the bar at the other end of the room, where Rita was busy keeping everyone refreshed.

  Jenny approached with the beers while Kiera was looking around. Jenny seemed rushed, and I understood why. Like it usually did before our set, the bar was quickly filling up with customers; the band was good for business. She handed Denny and Kiera their beers, then hurried off to the kitchen.

  Sipping on her drink, Kiera started taking in the other half of the bar. Her curiosity was as endearing as her awkwardness. Thinking I was spending too much time eyeing Denny’s girlfriend, I did my best to tune her out and concentrate on having a conversation with Denny about why some commercials had absolutely nothing to do with the products they were selling.

  Evan was asking Denny, “But why are there bathtubs in every commercial? I don’t get it.” Before Denny could answer, someone approached our table. Looking over, I saw it was Pete, the owner of the bar. While he looked professional in his Pete’s polo and crisp khakis, he also looked worn out, like the stress of life was getting to him. Pete had been really good to me, so I hoped he was okay.

  “Guys ready? You’re up in five.” Pete let out a big sigh that did nothing to alleviate the stress on his face.

  “You all right, Pete?” I asked, concerned.

  “No…Traci quit over the phone, she’s not coming back. I had to have Kate pull a double so we were covered tonight.” His gray eyes narrowed to pinpricks as he glared at me. His expression clearly said, What the hell did you do to my waitress? But I wasn’t to blame for this one. No, the jackass to my left was the instigator this time.

  I rolled my head around to glare at Griffin. Traci must have found out that Griffin had slept with her sister, and she was appropriately pissed. Griffin should have known better. Unless they were both in on it and okay with it, you didn’t mess with sisters. Everybody knew that.

  And apparently Griffin did know that, for he looked genuinely sheepish as he took a long draw off his beer. “Sorry, Pete.”

  Pete could only shake his head in response, ’cause what else could he do? As aggravating as it must be to have us interfering with his staff, Pete needed us. It was kind of a catch-22, and I felt bad for him. I made a mental note to talk to Griffin later. Maybe it was time to make a new band rule—no dating Pete’s employees.

  Kiera spoke up then. “I was a waitress. I need to get a job, and working nights would be perfect when school starts.” By the look on her face, she had said it as much to help Pete out as herself. She cared about others. I liked that. More than I should.

  Pete gave me a questioning glance. Wanting to help Kiera get the job, I introduced her and Denny so Pete would know they weren’t complete strangers. My stamp of approval wouldn’t go too far, but hopefully it would go far enough. They both needed this.

  Pete gave Kiera an appraising glance, but I could tell he was relieved that he’d found someone so fast. “You twenty-one?”

  Curious how old she was, I paid attention to her answer. She seemed nervous to give it, or maybe she was just nervous about her impromptu interview. She’d sort of spoken without thinking again. “Yeah, since May.” I smiled. That made her my age. I liked that too.

  Pete seemed satisfied with her answer. And I was 99 percent sure she was telling the truth. She just didn’t seem like the type to lie. “All right,” Pete said, a small smile gracing his lips. “I could use the help, and soon. Can you start Monday, six p.m.?”

  Kiera glanced at Denny, like she was silently asking for his permission. I figured she was purely being polite. I couldn’t imagine Denny not letting her do whatever she wanted. When he gave her a brief nod and a warm smile, Kiera returned her eyes to Pete. “Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you.”

  Pete left just a bit lighter, like some of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It made me glad to see it. Turning to Kiera, I told her, “Welcome to the family. Guess we’ll be seeing a lot of
each other now that you’re working at my home away from home.” I gave her a playful smile. “Hopefully you don’t get too sick of me.”

  Kiera’s cheeks turned rosy and she quickly brought her beer bottle to her mouth. “Yeah,” she muttered before taking a few long gulps. I laughed at the look on her face, then noticed Denny behind her giving me a slight frown. He fixed his face so fast that I almost thought I’d imagined it. Must have imagined it. Denny and I were tight.

  Pete turned on the stage lights and the bar erupted into shrieks. Kiera’s eyes widened at the noise. Standing up, I told her, “Just wait, it’s about to get even louder.”

  Evan and Matt scooted away from the table and were making their way toward the stage. Griffin was still sitting, chugging his beer. I flicked his ear, making him jump; a few rivers of alcohol leaked from his mouth to wet his shirt. “Let’s go,” I told him when he glared up at me.

  He took another second to finish his bottle, let out a belch that was almost louder than the crowd, then stood up. “Patience, dude. The pipes have to be primed.”

  I had to raise an eyebrow at that. Griffin sang backup, true, but he didn’t do that much singing. He was facing the bar and raising his fists in the air like Rocky, so I left him to it and made my way to the stairs. The volume increased with every step I took toward the stage. Matt was prepping the equipment. I clapped his shoulder, then made my way to my microphone. Grabbing the stand, I pulled it up to my mouth. “This thing on?” I murmured in an intentionally low voice.

  The corresponding screams were so loud my ears started ringing. Smiling, I scanned the fans starting to crowd around the stage. Kiera and Denny were still at the table, but they both had ear-to-ear grins. “How the fuck are you, Seattle?”

  The girls closest to me started jumping and hollering in response. From the side of the room, I could see Griffin taking his damn sweet time getting to the stage. Frowning, I said into the microphone, “We seem to be down a D-Bag. If any of you can play bass, please feel free to hop up here and join me.”