The Throwaway Year

  “Because some men only care about what they want. Check it out. He’s willing to dump that woman he’s with—the one he dumped you for, just to get you back now that he can’t have you. He is a true loser!”

  “I’m not disagreeing.”

  “Besides, I like the man you currently have.”

  Yes, Dani was now on Team Brian. On that first night in the ICU, Dani had been contacted because she was also listed as an emergency contact. However, only one person was allowed in the ICU with the patient. MyKell showed up and the two of them got into a heated argument. He thought he had a right because he had signed the consent, but Dani felt that she had all the rights because she was still included in Hayden’s life.

  Brian had gotten patched up and was still bloody, but he was adamant that he would be the one going into the ICU. MyKell’s angry retort was cut short as Brian blew up. Dani said that Brian was nearly foaming at the mouth when he yelled that he had just taken a bullet and been sewed up twice and the only thing that was going to keep him out of that ICU was another bullet.

  When MyKell tried to state that no one knew him, Brian had hollered that he was Hayden’s future. For Dani that was it. She later told Hayden that if MyKell hadn’t backed down, then Brian would have fought his old ass and won—even after taking a bullet to the gut mere hours before.

  “Dani, why don’t you go home? You’ve been here all day.”

  “Girl, don’t be crazy. I am not going to leave you here alone with that fool. And someone should be here with you until Brian gets here. Besides…” She didn’t finish the thought and Hayden gave her a curious look.

  “What?”

  She rolled her eyes and stopped fiddling with the bed sheets as she sat down. “I have zero desire to be at home. Dante makes me so sick. I know, I know. We talked about this, but I’ve finally realized that I dislike him much more than I like him.”

  “Oh?”

  “Oh yeah. My best friend gets shot and he’s worried about me not being home so he can get some ass! Plus, I found some pictures on his cell phone because he’s too dumb to get rid of them… or else he just doesn’t give a damn about me seeing them.” Dani shook her head. “You don’t need to hear my problems-”

  “Yes I do. Are you okay Dani?”

  Her friend shook her head. “No, but I just don’t think about it. Dante’s been in my life for so long, that I don’t even know what it would be like not to have him always there anymore.”

  “Do you still love him?”

  “I… don’t think so. It’s more anger now than anything else.”

  Hayden gripped her friend’s hand. “I always wondered what if I had met Brian a year sooner, would we still have been together. But then I know that everything had to happen just the way it did so that Brian and I could be in the right place at the right time. Maybe that’s what’s happening to you now. Maybe you shouldn’t regret the time you lost with Dante because it put you right where you needed to be.”

  Dani thought about that and then nodded. “I feel stupid for staying with him for so long though. But maybe it is how you say. I wasn’t in the right time and place to let him go completely.” She smiled. “Yeah.”

  “Are you there now?”

  “I’m pretty sure that I am. And it’s not about Sean either!”

  Hayden smiled. “Are you going to tell Sean how you feel about him?”

  Dani shook her head. “No. I need to fix myself first.”

  “Do not throw away a year of your life.”

  “Oh no girl. I can’t go to the gym every day like you do.”

  ~***~

  MyKell didn’t even wait until five before he showed up at Hayden’s house. So he was most likely between jobs. Dani let him in because she exclaimed that she was not about to leave her best friend alone with a desperate ex-boyfriend. Hayden was more inclined to think that Dani was just nosey…

  Hayden didn’t really want to meet with MyKell in their old bedroom, but she was on strict bed rest while her surgical incisions healed., especially if she wanted to be well enough to attend the Zombie run at the end of the week. Plus Dani wouldn’t let her go up and down the stairs, even though that was something they told pregnant women, not women who had suffered from a collapsed lung.

  MyKell came into the room reeking of Issey Miyake cologne and wearing a pleather jogging suit and matching Kangol hat.

  She tried not to look at him critically, but was still surprised that he had completely forgotten how much she disliked him in jogging suits. Especially since only old people wore them with Kangols…and why he thought that he should wear that expensive cologne she had bought him last Christmas as walking-around-daily cologne she was unsure but that was no longer her business. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek and she had to resist the urge to move her head away from his touch.

  “You’re looking very good Hade. In the hospital you had lost so much blood that you almost looked like a White woman.” He sat down on the edge of her bed and smiled widely as if he’d just told a good one.

  “Yeah. I… nearly died, so…yeah.”

  Ignoring her response he reached for her hand which she moved before he could touch her. This he pretended to ignore, too. “I’m happy you called me baby. I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but that friend of yours made that impossible. You know Hade; I could have been here to help you. I still can…”

  She blinked in disbelief. “And your girlfriend? What would she think of that?” Hayden snapped.

  “You’re family Hayden. Gloria knows not to interfere with that. Besides…” he looked around the room, “…I miss you. I miss us. Gloria and I won’t be together much longer.”

  He shook his head. “I messed up so badly by leaving. She nags and… well, I’m not going to complain about her, but I had it so good with you Hade.” He reached for her hand again. “I know it was messed up how we ended, but sometimes relationships need a break.”

  Hayden immediately slipped her hand from his grasp. “You told me that things weren’t right between us. That was honesty MyKell. I respected that.

  “Things really weren’t right between us. It took me some time to figure that out. And now that I have, I don’t want to get back with you. My life is finally good just the way it is now.”

  A flash of anger crossed his face. “That White man, Brian. He’s your new man?”

  “Brian is my man.”

  MyKell removed his hat slowly and thought quietly. “Do you love him?”

  “Very much so.”

  MyKell digested her words before he met her eyes again. “Is he good to you? He doesn’t cheat on you or talk bad to you? He doesn’t put his hands on you, does he?”

  “No. He treats me like a queen.”

  MyKell sighed and then stood up. He replaced the hat on his head, but paused before leaving the room.

  “Do I have even the slightest chance with you Hayden?”

  “No,” she said without a pause. “None.”

  “You look good baby,” he said before he cleared his throat and then opened the door and left.

  Hayden examined her feelings. Was there still something—anything, between her and MyKell? No, there wasn’t; only a sense of awe that she had given up everything including her self-respect over him.

  ~***~

  Hayden was dozing when she heard the front door open. Brian and Dani exchanged a few casual words and Hayden could tell that her friend had then left. Hayden struggled to sit up. The left side of her chest was sore as hell. The surgical site didn’t even hurt as much as her chest did. During surgery, they had sealed the lung leak and all the air in the chest cavity had been drained, however she would be sore for at least several more weeks.

  Of course that meant that she would miss running the marathon, but come hell or high water she was not going to miss rooting on her team. She still couldn’t allow herself to think about all of that training and now she wouldn’t even know if she could have done it or not. Hayden dismissed the thought an
d her disappointment as Brian entered her bedroom about fifteen minutes later carrying their dinner.

  She hid a grimace as the aroma hit her. “Meatloaf and smothered cabbage?”

  “Yep.” He placed the tray on the bedside table and leaned forward to kiss her. Yesterday he had cooked dinner and wanted the instructions for her meatloaf and smothered cabbage. He had done an excellent job, but two days of cabbage was one day too many. Cabbage-induced flatulence was an ugly thing.

  “I love this stuff,” he said as he placed the folding tray before her and then began to eat from his own plate. Yesterday he had tried to feed her, but she turned her ahead away like a small child and said no, she could do it herself. He had laughed so deeply that the laughter spread to her, but only long enough for her to remember that laughter equaled excruciating chest pain.

  “You’re not eating your cabbage Hayden. You need your veggies to build your strength.”

  “Hmph. But I don’t need gas at three A.M.”

  He shrugged. “I don’t mind doing a Dutch oven with you.”

  She grimaced. “You better not put your head under the covers. That’s gross.”

  “I think a man should know how horrible his woman’s farts are.”

  “Okay, changing the subject… So how was work today?”

  He paused and looked thoughtfully into the distance. “My dad says the office gives him the creeps. He wants to move out of Covington to a place in Cincinnati.”

  “Oh?”

  “But I told him that it was a waste of money, so I’m not sure what his plans are. I think… he’s just afraid.”

  She could understand that. There were days when she woke up in a cold sweat, even though she knew that Marcus hadn’t been gunning for her or Brian. However, it was more the idea of how closely she had come to losing everything that caused her so many sleepless nights.

  Marcus was in jail facing two counts of attempted murder. Upon sobering, he had been informed by the police themselves that Mr. Fox had nothing to do with the sting operation. In fact, several other sting operations had taken place at the same time. Marcus had immediately asked for Brian and Hayden’s forgiveness. As of yet neither had been inclined to give it and now, he was facing life in prison over a misunderstanding.

  Later that night, Brian climbed into her bed and then held her in his arms as they watched television. He was unusually quiet, but during a commercial he muted the sound. He stared at Hayden intently.

  “That man was here – MyKell.”

  She was surprised at the intensity of his statement. “Yeah. I wanted to settle things once and for all.”

  “He…was up here, in your bedroom? And you weren’t going to tell me?”

  “Well… no. I mean, he’s not even important enough to talk about-”

  “Hayden, that’s beside the point. That man still wants to be with you. He keeps hanging around waiting for a crumb to drop. I mean…why are you encouraging that?”

  “Brian,” she said in surprise. “I’m not. I told you already that MyKell means nothing and that’s why he was over here. I told him to come so that I could tell him to get lost once and for all. Besides, how do you know he was here? Are you watching me, checking up on me or something?”

  “No!” He sat up. “I can smell him and that fucking cologne that lingers on everything it comes in contact with.” He gave her an accusatory look. “Including you.”

  “Brian! He kissed my cheek.” She saw his teeth clench. “I just got shot in the lung. Do you really think I’m cheating on you?”

  Brian shook his head. “No, of course I don’t.” He pulled Hayden back into his arms gently. “I’m sorry Hayden. I don’t think that at all. But I know that your break up with him pushed you into a tail spin and so… I can understand if you still have some feelings for him.”

  “What?” She pulled away from him enough to cup his face between her hands. “Oh baby, I am so sorry. I should have… Brian I dislike MyKell so much that I can’t believe that there was a time that I gave him even a second of my life. Baby, I’m in love with you and I have not led that man on. I told him today that he has no chance with me. None. Zilch. Zip. Fini… and whatever else means over and done with forever.”

  Brian kissed her swiftly. “Hayden I’m sorry. God, I’m such an asshole. I just accused the woman I love… Honey, I don’t think you did anything wrong. I just worry that you might have some regrets about ending it with him. And if you did I would understand. I would kill him, but I would do so with great sadness.”

  “Brian, don’t make me laugh,” she pleaded while suppressing her laughter. “And no talk of killing. We’ve had enough of that.”

  “True.” He slipped his tongue into her mouth. “My body misses yours,” he groaned into her mouth. He reached up and cupped her breast but once he came into contact with her bandage he pulled back and lowered his hand.

  “Oh God…” He panted and then moved to get out of bed. “I’m going to take a cold shower.”

  She reached out and stopped him. “Lay down honey.”

  He gave her a cautious, but hopeful look before complying. Hayden slipped her hand into his pajama bottoms and wrapped her warm fingers around his thick shaft.

  Brian gasped and then closed his eyes. “Yes, baby, touch me… Oh damn Hayden!” His hips began to rock to the rhythm of her strokes. “God I missed you!”

  Hayden pumped her fist up and down his shaft, using his slick pre-come as lube. She was becoming turned on, but didn’t want to risk any heavy breathing. Still the sight of his purple cock was too delicious to disregard and so carefully, she leaned forward and worked her tongue around his swollen cockhead. As she tasted his sweet, yet salty semen, her mouth watered for more. Soon, she was leaning over him sucking, licking and deep throating this wonderful piece of him.

  With a last grunt, Brian thrust upward, burying himself into her mouth and then pumped his come down her throat. “Fuck!” he screamed as his body spasmed. When his body stopped twitching in aftershocks, he rolled over onto his side, and looked at her.

  “Are you okay?”

  She smiled and nodded.

  “I didn’t hurt your chest did I?”

  “No. You were delicious. My favorite dessert.”

  “Okay. We’re going to try something. You stop me if it’s too much.”

  She looked at him curiously. What was he up to?

  He kissed her neck and her nipples instantly puckered impossibly hard. He knew just the right spot… His kisses moved lower until he was kissing the peak of each taut brown nipple.

  Hayden’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as she tried to regulate her breathing while keeping her body still. She wouldn’t be able to hold it for long—she was already very turned on. “Touch me,” she gasped.

  As he lathed her nipples with his tongue, his fingers found her delicate folds and explored them expertly. Avoiding her bud, he slipped a finger into her warm canal and Hayden jerked and then relaxed. She regulated her breathing, but somehow, it made the experience all so much more heightened—trying to control herself to keep the sensations from taking over.

  Brian’s thumb brushed her bud and her body reacted, clenching and unclenching around his invading digit. She cried out as her honey flowed down his palm and coated his fingers. He fucked her with his finger; first one and then another, grazing her inner walls with the pads of his fingers with each stroke. She squeezed her toes tightly in order to stop her hips from rolling and pumping against his hand. Brian suddenly sucked her nipple hard and Hayden screeched and forgot all about her healing gunshot wound.

  ~***~

  Dr. Abernathy paused before entering the office. He quirked his brow up at the sight of Hayden and Brian in zombie make-up. She grinned sheepishly.

  “Sorry, we’re on our way to the Zombie Run marathon.”

  “It’s fine. This close to Halloween I see pretty much everything… usually not the walking dead, but there is a first time for everything.”

  Hayd
en had opted for old dead so she wore the white make-up with dark circles beneath her eyes. Brian wanted the freshly dead look so he had applied a mixture of ketchup and syrup to his clothes and neck.

  Dr. Abernathy did his final medical check-up of Hayden and pronounced her to have a clean bill of health.

  “Good luck young lady.”

  “We’ll invite you to next year’s Zombie Run,” she said. “I’ll be a fast running zombie which is so fake. Zombie’s should be slow and do the ‘grrrrr.’” Hayden lifted her hands and mimicked a Zombie.

  Dr. Abernathy’s smile faded. “Hayden… you won’t be able to run a marathon. I mean, you might be able to engage in some light cardio, but you could never run anything like a long marathon.”

  Hayden felt hot and cold shivers running up and down her body and the world began to blink in and out of focus for her.

  “Hayden, I thought you understood. Once your lung collapses then there is a high chance that it will happen again. I’m talking about spontaneous pneumothorax where you’re just walking around and a bleb can break open out of nowhere.”

  “Yeah, but I just thought-”

  “Hayden, if you push yourself like you would while running a marathon or engaging in intense cardio, then it will happen. That hole we repaired can always be compromised. I’m sorry.”

  She was stunned into silence and Brian just held her hand. His Zombie face was etched in sorrow.

  So? she thought to herself. A collapsed lung wouldn’t kill her… but it hurt really bad…

  “Are you okay?” Brian asked as they drove to the marathon to root for Todd and Kevin.

  “Let’s just go home.”

  Brian gave her a surprised look before pulling the car over to the side of the road. He turned to her. “No. We’re going to root our friends on. We’re still Team Zombie.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t.”

  “Hayden Michaels, I’ve never heard you say that you can’t.”