How to Hook a Bookworm (How To #3)

  “You called it.” Levi gets to his feet, slapping the money in Adam’s fist. It burrows a hole in my chest for a split second as Levi walks past him to the hallway. Ten bucks could mean milk for a few days. But Adam’s lip quirks at the corner as he tucks the money into my pocket and pats my hip so I keep it there. That hole in my chest fills with something warm and fuzzy, and the desire to touch him again makes my whole body break out in chills.

  “Is Zoe downstairs?” Zak asks, not moving his eyes from the computer.

  “Yeah. Brea’s gotta change into something though. I think Sierra will make an exception on you seeing the bride tonight.”

  “Sweet.” Zak leans back, stretches, and rubs his eyes, then starts humming Darth Vader’s theme song as he leaves the room.

  Adam laughs and opens his closet door. The squirrel costume swings out like it was straining to stay in there.

  “’Kay, step in,” he says, crouching down with the costume and holding the feet holes for me. I wish I could grab his shoulders and hop on in because having him dress me sounds entertaining. But I can’t exactly have him do that when I’m naked.

  “Um, actually, can I do it myself?”

  His eyes widen behind his glasses. “Oh, yeah, sure, sorry.” His ears look a little warm as he lugs the furry thing to the bed. “All yours. The zipper’s a little tricky. You gotta tug up and down a few times to get it to work. There’s a fan in the head, you just press this button here on the inside before you put it on. And don’t worry about the smell. It’s not me… the thing has always smelt like that.”

  “Um, eww!” I laugh, socking him in the shoulder. My tummy tickles race to the point of contact I had with him.

  “I’ll be right outside the door if you need help.”

  “Probably with the head, yeah.”

  He chuckles, grabs a book off his desk, and leaves me to climb into this monstrosity by myself. I wait till I hear the door click before tucking my fists into my shirt and sliding it over my head.

  My heart pounds as I unhook my bra and wiggle out of that as well. When I see the fabric hit Adam’s plaid bed sheets, my heart feels like it’ll burst out of my chest and join my clothes. Here I am topless in Adam’s room, and my eyes won’t stop looking at how my bra drapes over his bed sheets. It takes me way too long to unclog my brain and get out of my pajama shorts and underwear. I stuff all my clothes under his pillow partly because I don’t want Adam to see my granny panties, and partly because seeing my clothes on his bed is jacking up my insides.

  The costume is so bulky it takes me a couple tries to make sure I get the feet on the right way. The material scratches and tickles my skin as I wiggle and tug and “oof” and “eef” it up to my neck. I slip my arms through to the furry hands, and flex my fingers to make sure I fill them up. Bending down, I look for the zipper which starts just below my bellybutton and runs up to the neck. Thank heavens it’s not in the back. I can’t imagine trying to get this thing on with no help.

  I manage to get a grasp on the zipper even with my costume covered hands and pull. But I slip and punch myself in the face.

  “Ouch! Oh my gosh.” I laugh at myself and try again. I get it just past my bellybutton, but then it sticks, and I have to slide it back down. “You weren’t lying about this zipper!” I yell through the door.

  Adam chuckles. “Yeah, the trick is to go slow.”

  I try that, easing it up to my bra-line, but it sticks again. I push down, tug up, sticks. This damn thing! Getting totally frustrated, I yank down, and I’m back to square one.

  “Okay,” I say to it, like it’ll listen. “Slow.”

  The zipper slips through my fuzzy fingers again, and I growl and laugh at the dang thing.

  “You okay in there?” I hear Adam laugh from the hall. Screw it, I need help, so I make sure the front is closed tight before telling him to get his butt in here.

  “Will you help?” I ask, pushing back the heat in my cheeks when he opens the door. Adam’s still laughing as he crosses the room and pulls at the zipper.

  “Hold still,” he teases as I squirm in the squirrel uniform. “I don’t want to catch your shirt.”

  “Um,” I say, just as his thumb slips on the zipper and dives under the costume. He hits the bare skin by my bellybutton and sucks in a sharp breath. His eyes flash to mine, color draining from his face.

  “Sorry… part of the dare.” My voice shakes over a laugh. “I’m naked. But I swear I showered.”

  Buzzing fills the room. Like particles snapping around in the atmosphere as Adam stares at me. Sweat starts to bead on my forehead, and I swipe a furry hand across it.

  He gulps. I gulp. Then he says, “Okay, well, I don’t want to catch… anything else. So hold still.” He tries to laugh, and I echo him. I’m not sure how motionless I can be because my knees are shaking.

  His fingers tighten over the zipper, and he eases it past my bellybutton, being careful not to make contact with my skin again.

  My breathing shallows. The room feels a hundred degrees. His face is so close and if I breathe any more I’ll fog his glasses up. The zipper doesn’t stick once as he glides it between my breasts, and I know nothing is showing, that he’s keeping his eyes locked on mine, but suddenly my nipples are hardening, and what the crap is that about because like I said, it’s a hundred degrees in here.

  “All set,” he says, letting go of the zipper at my neck. “Now, the head.” He takes a step back, and all the air I was holding flies from my mouth. I count the seconds it takes for him to set the head over mine—four—and he laughs as my braid gets stuck in the neck.

  “You’re right,” I say, my nose crinkling in the darkness of the costume. My voice echoes around me. “It does stink.”

  “See, you’re missing out.” He flicks the tip of the squirrel’s nose. “You could be wearing this every other week.”

  “I refuse to have this conversation with you again.” I point a furry finger at him, and I’m sure I look completely threatening in this getup. “I’m surprised how much I can see.”

  “I was too. I thought for sure I’d be walking around blind, but it’s not bad, yeah?”

  “Not bad at all.” I wiggle, knocking a book off the edge of the bed with my butt. “A little bulky.”

  “I’ll lead you out. Make sure you don’t trip over my dog.”

  His hand clamps with mine, and I know there’s this huge furry barrier between us, but I feel his touch burn my palm to the point where I’m sweating. But that could be the costume itself.

  Giggles greet us when we get to the sitting room, and Sierra shoves Zoe outside while she tells Adam to grab a chair. Adam’s fingers disappear from mine, and weird pings and pops tingle through my knuckles. I think I’ve had too much sugar.

  “Okay, Brea!” Jolie calls from the front lawn. Levi takes Adam’s place, and he helps me down the steps. Zoe plops into the chair Adam’s holding for her, and she pats her lap.

  My head swivels to Zak and Sierra, both with their phones out and recording every second. Well, I better give them a good show.

  I try to sashay over to Zoe, wiggling the squirrel tail obnoxiously and playing coy. I’m dying of laughter inside the costume as I swing a bulky leg over hers and gyrate. Zoe pretends to squeeze my boobs. Adam’s face is cherry red, and I can’t watch him anymore without thinking these “how adorable” thoughts, so I spin around and shake my ass in Zoe’s face. The tail repeatedly knocks against her cheeks, and Sierra is now laughing so hard she’s clenching her legs together, phone forgotten as she bends in half. Levi’s eyes are wide circles before he turns around and marches right back in the house.

  Zoe smacks my left buttcheek and I swivel, planting myself right on her lap. She lets out a high pitched “oof!” and Jolie pulls her phone out. I blow her a kiss, thinking she’ll totally take a picture, but it starts playing “Big Spender” with her music player.

  Something jolts in my stomach, crushes down my smile, and all the laughter in my gut stops like it hi
t a semi at a standstill. That song, the lyrics, suddenly everything about the situation rubs me raw. Brings back the afternoon I saw my mom in her robe. The smell of that guy. Red envelopes from the water company, the electric bill, the rent payment. Levi coming home at three in the morning to zonk out for two hours before he’s back up again. It claws at me, ripping my stomach to shreds when Zoe places a dollar bill into one of my furry pockets.

  I jump off her lap, panic welling in my eyes, and I pray to the high heavens I’ve filled my fair share of this dare. Zoe pulls another bill from her pocket and waves it in the air at me, and I know I should play it up. Act a part. Have fun and be stupid silly, but I can’t.

  The only person who seems aware of what’s happening under the costume is Adam. His red face has drained back to his normal color. His brow etches with concern, and he fixes his glasses and clears his throat.

  I know he can’t see my eyes, but I silently plead with him to get me out of this without having to explain. Levi’s here. Everyone… everyone’s here.

  Zoe reaches for my tail, and Adam jumps in the way before I topple back on her lap. “Okay, I think that’s enough action for my costume.”

  My heart rate dwindles back to its regular pace, and I take a bow. Zoe, Jolie, and Sierra all clap, and Adam grabs my hand and pulls me back into the house.

  I will my tears back to the deepest part of me where I keep them from escaping. Levi’s eyebrows pull in as we pass him on the stairs.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” Adam says, and I don’t make a noise for fear of how my voice will sound. “She’s just done with her dare now.” He laughs, and even though Levi has known Adam longer than I have, I think I’m the only one who knows when Adam’s laugh is forced.

  Levi skips the last step and goes outside with everyone else. Adam gets me in his room and quietly shuts the door. The squirrel head is off within the next second.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, and it confuses the hell out of me. He has absolutely nothing to be sorry about.

  I swipe a hand over my thankfully dry cheek, the fur tickling my eyelashes. “I’m fine.”

  He knows I’m not. I know that he knows I’m not. But there’s nothing he can say either, and I shake my head at the floor.

  “Seriously, I overreact—”

  He plows so hard into me, I almost lose my balance and fall backward on the bed. He tucks my face into his shoulder, and I feel insanely huge—and a little weird since I’m totally commando—but his hug sends a zillion winged creatures fluttering through my chest.

  “Thanks,” I say into his shirt. There are several beats before his lips touch the side of my head briefly, and he pulls back. He gulps, and I stare at his mouth. My mind goes back in time, back to my birthday, back to my first kiss ever. I’ve had a million kisses since then. Kisses with Jay. Kisses that helped me forget, that covered up stress and loneliness. Kisses I feel like I need to keep moving on. But those kisses, those millions of kisses, did not give me what Adam’s one did. His made me feel like I didn’t have to hide anything, cover up anything, forget anything. It made me feel like it was worth going through the bad stuff because there was this wonderful and amazing thing too. And instead of hiding, I could share the burden.

  My tongue sneaks out over my lips, preparing them for… what? I don’t know. But I’m inching forward.

  I don’t even get a centimeter before Adam clears his throat and backs away. I blink up to his eyes, mind starting to crawl back to the present. I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend, damn it. I told everyone my friendship with Adam wasn’t going to be an issue, yet here I am, close to his lips and even after the acknowledgement of Jay in my brain, I still want to kiss him.

  “The zipper shouldn’t stick on the way down,” Adam says with a light smile. “So I’ll leave ya to it.”

  “’Kay.”

  “Sure you’re okay?”

  I nod at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes. Who knows if I’m okay.

  He sucks in a breath and leaves the room, sneaking his hand into his pocket and clicking the pen in there. I rip the zipper down on the costume as soon as the door clicks shut. It’s boiling in that thing. And it’s jacking me up with some sort of Adam pheromone.

  I quickly dress, the ten dollars Adam put in my pajama pocket falls out, and I jam it back in. My hands keep shaking. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? I need gum, and I need it fast. I rush to his desk, fumbling through the top drawer and hope I don’t mess anything up on his laptop.

  I shift through a bunch of papers, and a big bulky one slices my forefinger. A hiss slips through my teeth, and I bring my finger up to my lips and examine the envelope to make sure I didn’t get blood on it.

  COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY. It’s open, so I check over my shoulder, hold my bloody finger out while I slip the letter from the envelope.

  Accepted.

  Of course. There was no doubt. But he didn’t tell me he’d been accepted anywhere.

  I put the letter back and flip through the rest of the envelopes. Acceptance after acceptance. Cornell, Dartmouth, Duke. My heart slumps to the pit of my stomach, and I shove all the letters back in place.

  No. He would’ve told me if he was headed anywhere. He would’ve said something.

  I twist the braid resting on my shoulder, chewing on my lip because my search for gum was futile.

  It doesn’t matter when he tells me. It’s going to happen. And come September, every single person downstairs will be long gone.

  Chapter 19

  I’m too young to be in love.

  Sierra draws in a big yawn and stretches her arms above her pillow next to me. “Okay Zoe,” she asks. We’ve given up on asking “truth or dare” because after two in the morning, we were all just picking truth so we could stay in our sleeping bags. “Why are you and Zak waiting till you get married?”

  Jolie chokes on her soda, and her eyes water as she pinches her nose. Sierra laughs and I force my cheeks to stay their normal color. I should really get used to all the sex questions. At least this one doesn’t involve my brother.

  Zoe lifts one shoulder, staring at the zipper on her sleeping bag. “We wanted to.”

  “We?” Sierra asks at the same time Jolie asks, “Why?” I keep my mouth shut, even though I’m thinking the same thing.

  “Yes we,” Zoe says to her sister. “And because we want to. Isn’t that reason enough?”

  Jolie shakes her head, and Sierra leans forward, resting her chin on her palm. Zoe looks back and forth between the two of them, then at me, and then sighs.

  “You guys weren’t around really before I was dating him. Like in high school.” She nibbles at her thumbnail. “Thing is… I never made any decisions for myself. They were all for what I thought would meet the approval of everyone else. So when I finally let myself do what I wanted, I made a list of a bunch of stuff for me. And you know, I think I’ve always wanted to wait.”

  “Wow,” Jolie says. Sierra stays quiet, but she’s looking at her sister with some sort of admiration mixed with confusion. I chuckle as her face tries to decide on how it feels.

  “I know it’s not popular,” Zoe says, smoothing out her sleeping bag. “But I decided that the popularity of something holds no value when I make my choices. I make decisions for me. Waiting feels right for me.”

  We all sit kinda quietly, and I suddenly have about ten million more degrees of respect for Zoe. I want to make all my decisions for me, too.

  “And Zak?” Jolie asks, breaking the silence.

  “He gets it.” She pauses to take a drink of Sierra’s Coke. “Still doesn’t stop him from joking about it every so often.”

  We all laugh at Sierra’s expression, her eyes big and she mouths the words, “Oh yeah.” I throw my pillow at her because like she’s one to talk. I catch her implying sexual crap all the time with my brother.

  “So, are you excited?” Jolie asks in a higher-pitched tone.

  Zoe’s cheeks turn pink and she bites back a
huge grin. “Yes and no. I’m so nervous! But it’s like an excited nervous. I keep picturing what it’s going to be like, you know? We’ll be in a hotel room, and he’ll help me out of my wedding dress, and I’ll take off his tux jacket. We’ll wake up next to each other as husband and wife, ready to go on vacation and really get to know each other. Like, take the time to find out what we like, what we don’t like, what feels good, what feels weird. It’ll be fun and romantic, and we’ll discover all these things about each other together. I’m excited for that.”

  Sierra lets out a blissful sigh and says, “How romantical!” We all start laughing again, and I think the sugar mixed with the late night is making us all lose our brains.

  “Jolie,” Zoe says, slouching into her bag. “Have you ever been in love?”

  I wait for the “no.” Jolie has been on dates here and there, but no one totally serious. She’s like me in a lot of ways, probably why we’re friends. Then I catch the shy smile on her face.

  “Yes.”

  Sierra squeals way too loudly for two in the morning, and I chuck a licorice nub at her.

  “I’m sorry, I just… this is a surprise.”

  “I’m surprised too,” I say, my voice high pitched and so not like my voice. “Who was it?” I ask Jolie.

  She waves her dark bangs from her face. “You remember Trent?”

  “Of course.” Sierra says. “He was like your best friend forever. Besides me.” She pauses to take a drink. “I didn’t know you loved each other.”

  “We didn’t. I did. Well, he could have too, I just… never asked him.”

  “Why not?” I ask. Trent was totally into her. At least, he seemed that way. But I didn’t really know him that well. I was usually glued to Adam the way Jolie was glued to him, and we only hung out in groups.

  “Because I’m not your typical beauty.” Her arms circle over her waist. “And well, I was scared. It’s hard to tell people how you feel when you have no idea how they feel. But I wish I had. It’s almost been a year now since I last talked to him. We said we’d keep in contact, but he moved. He’s at college, I’m still here, and we’re just in different places physically and emotionally. If I had told him before he left, maybe things would be different. Maybe not. But I won’t ever know, and that sort of sucks.”