The minute bell rings, breaking us apart. Jay gives me a hug before barreling down the hall to his class. I actually have no idea where he’s headed. I don’t know his schedule or what’s his favorite subject or even if he’s good in school. Guess it’s not exactly good foreplay conversation.
I turn to the art room, but fingers lock around the strap of my backpack and yank me over to the other side of the hallway.
“Whoa!”
“Sorry,” Adam says, placing the strap back on my shoulder. “I just… uh… wanted to talk to you.”
“And you couldn’t do it in the cafeteria twenty seconds ago?” I joke, then snap my gum.
“Did you tell Jay about me? That I’m not just your tutor… I’m your friend?”
“Yeah.” Wait… did I? I thought I did, but maybe I didn’t. “Or no. I can’t remember.”
“Well, if you did, he doesn’t remember.”
“Does it matter?” I ask, crossing my arms. “I don’t need his permission to hang out with you.” Why is everyone getting hung up on this?
“It’s not that.” Adam pulls at his pocket, and I stop his hand before he goes non-stop pen-clicking.
“Then what is it?”
The final bell rings, but Adam and I don’t move. His eyes drift over my braid, and he lets go of my hand to tug on the end of it.
“You’re a beautiful girl, Brea,” he says, and suddenly my heart feels like a grenade that just landed in my stomach. Say what?
Adam quirks a smile at me, but his ears steadily redden. “Jay isn’t the only one who notices, and he’s probably worried about the time you spend with… someone who notices, too.”
There’s an all-out war going on under my skin, causing goose bumps to run over every inch of me. My breathing has gone shallow, and I don’t know where it all comes from because Adam would probably say this to Sierra and Jolie, too. But something inside me says I want him to find me beautiful not because he’s my friend, not because he’s a nice guy, but because he likes me.
Like, the upper level of like. Top floor. Penthouse. You could skydive from the balcony.
That level of like.
“Uh… thanks,” I mutter like a ditz.
He lets out a guttural laugh, and my heart does that grenade thing again.
“I just don’t want to cause a problem. That’s all I’m saying.” He scratches the back of his neck. “Being the guy best friend has been a problem in the past, and I don’t want it to be with you.”
“It won’t.” I push back the inner chaotic crap and hug him around the middle. “And if it is a problem, than it’s his problem. Not ours.”
I feel Adam’s heart pound against mine, then his arms squeeze me tight to his chest. I don’t know how long we stay there like that, but it’s definitely not long enough.
Chapter 17
I guess I asked for TMI when I became friends with my brother’s girlfriend.
I’m going to fall off the back of Levi’s moped and end up a bloody mess on the side of the road. He takes another wild turn onto Sierra’s street, and I grip onto his jacket, extracting a choking sound from him.
“Brea…loosen up.”
Hell no! It’s hard enough to stay glued to this thing with just me and my brother, but now I’ve got a duffel on my shoulder, pillow lodged under my butt, and a sleeping bag strapped to my leg.
Levi bats at my death choke. He gives up when I don’t loosen my grip, and he takes hold of the handlebars as we bounce over Sierra’s curb and stop in her driveway.
I chuck my duffel on the front lawn. Next time Jay offers to drive me somewhere, I’m taking him up on it—even if it means seeing my shithole of a house.
“Man, are there marks on my neck?” Levi asks, rubbing the spot I had my arms locked around him.
“No, you big baby.” I shove the back of his head and not-so-gracefully slide from the moped. “Will you help me carry this crap inside?”
“Yeah.” He pulls his helmet off and then swipes the pillow from under his butt as he stands. His blond hair is all matted and gross with sweat when he hoists the duffel from my shoulder. “Hey, do you think you’ll come back home tomorrow?”
He’s keeping his voice light like it doesn’t matter, but I can hear the underlining hope. “No.”
“Really?” He hands me my pillow and grabs my sleeping bag. “I thought since you came by today…”
“I needed more stuff.”
He sighs, tightening the strap on the sleeping bag. “Well, can you at least consider it? We… I miss you.”
A jagged shovel digs into the pit of my stomach. I nod and keep my eyes locked on the grass, then the sidewalk, then the porch. He’s been really good about not prying (his girlfriend not so much), but I know he has to be confused. I still have no idea how to handle my mom, or if I should tell Levi about the “incident” or not. But I’m lucky I don’t have to think about it long because Sierra whips her front door open and barrels into Levi’s chest. All my stuff goes flying.
“Hey!” a voice says from inside, right before Zoe appears. “No boys tonight!”
Sierra starts peppering my brother’s face with kisses. I groan and pick my duffel from the ground. Zoe smacks my ass when I pass her, making me jump a bit because what the hell? And Jolie immediately helps me with my crap, dragging it upstairs to Sierra’s room.
“Your stuff smells like Adam,” she says, unrolling my sleeping bag between hers and Sierra’s. My face gets a little warm.
“Uh… yeah. Well, I don’t own a sleeping bag.”
She stuffs her nose into the fabric. “I’ve always thought he smelled good.”
I laugh and chuck my pillow at her. She sets it at the top of my “bed.”
“Okay,” Sierra says, stepping into the room with Zoe in tow, “you two get in your jammies while I order pizza.”
I look at the clock. It’s only eight, but Jolie’s already off to the bathroom to change and Zoe and Sierra are in their pajamas already. I can see Zoe’s Batman underwear sneaking out her Robin shorts.
Feeling a little awkward, I pull out my ratty T-shirt I wear to bed and a pair of shorts I stole from Adam a few months ago. They still have the faint scent of roasted almonds. I’m hoping the sleeping bag helps solidify the smell.
Sierra skips into the hall with her phone pressed to her ear, leaving me and Zoe alone.
I pop my gum and dive under my sleeping bag to change. Zoe smiles and sits on the edge of the bed, her red hair swinging over her shoulder.
“Have you seen The Avengers?”
Um… “What?”
“The movie.” She brings her knee up on the bed to face me directly. I shift in the sleeping bag and wiggle my shorts on.
“Yeah.”
“Who do you think is the hottest?”
I pop my gum again and maneuver into my nightshirt. “Depends.”
“On…?”
“If you’re talking character or actor.”
Her smile widens and she claps her hands, falling back on the mattress. “Yes! Total difference. Okay, so I’m talking character.”
I slide out of the sleeping bag, finally in my “jammies.”
“Then definitely Iron Man.”
“You like the funny guys?”
“The smart ones.”
“Then I imagine Bruce Banner is a close second.”
“He’d be first if not for that pesky temper problem.” My fingers twist up the ends of my hair. “I like them mellow yellow.”
“Not mean green.”
We laugh, and Jolie swings open the bathroom door. She’s in a cute, bright yellow spaghetti strap and black and grey plaid bottoms. I’m so jealous of her curves.
“Wow, look at your ass!” Zoe says, making Jolie flush about three shades of red. “We need to go see some boys while you’re wearing those.”
It looks like Jolie was holding her breath, and it rushes out her lips in a breathy laugh.
“You said no boys tonight.”
“
I may change my mind.”
Sierra pops in, sliding her phone into her shorts. “Okay, pizza on the way.” She looks at Zoe. “So, bride-to-be, what do you want to do?”
Zoe sits up with a big evil smile, and from Sierra’s groan, I think she knows what’s about to pop from her mouth.
“Video games.”
***
It came down to me and Zoe in the final round of Soulcalibur, and she whooped my rear. But I did pretty good for a while.
We’re all full of pizza and soda, and Sierra is so hopped up on sugar she keeps bouncing her butt against her heels.
“Truth or dare, Zoe?” she asks, and Jolie and I groan.
“It’s either this or spin the bottle!” Sierra laughs chucking Laffy Taffys at our faces.
“I could go for spin the bottle,” Jolie says, tucking her feet under her. “Let’s get the boys over here.”
“No, no, no,” I sputter. “My brother is in that group of boys.”
“And we’re sisters,” Sierra says, wiggling her finger between her and Zoe. “So truth or dare it is!”
Given the options, I keep my groan under control this time. Sierra turns to Zoe and raises her eyebrows. Zoe doesn’t hesitate to say, “Dare.”
Sierra squeals. “Please model the outfit you’re wearing on your wedding night.”
Zoe’s mouth pops open, and she smacks her sister, but Jolie slides from her stomach to her knees and starts bouncing. “Oh, I want to see it too.”
“When you say outfit…” I say, trying to push my blush away.
“Yes, I mean her lingerie.” Sierra nudges Zoe towards her bathroom. “Come on. Show us, please?”
“You’re lucky I have it here.” Zoe gets to her feet, stumbling a little to a large suitcase with her wedding dress draped over the top. “Give me a few minutes, and you are not allowed to make fun of me.”
“I’m making no promises. This is a game.”
Zoe wrinkles her nose at Sierra and waltzes out of the room with a bag from—did that say ebay?
“While she’s gone,” Jolie says with a licorice wand hanging from her mouth, “Sierra, truth or dare?”
Sierra kinks her neck the side and clucks her tongue. “Um… truth.”
Jolie gives me an apologetic frown. In that small gesture I know what question is about to fly out, and I can’t get the words past my lips fast enough to stop her.
“Have you and Levi slept together yet?”
Sierra sucks a large gulp of air in through her teeth and holds it in her cheeks. I slam my face in my pillow and get a whiff of Levi since his butt was on it not two hours ago. That does not help at all.
“I’m not sure I want to talk about it with Brea in the room.”
Yes, please, let’s not talk about it with Brea in the same 100 mile radius.
“Come on. Just shake your head or nod, and I’ll leave you alone.”
I keep my face buried and wait for the go ahead that they are through with this conversation, but Jolie goes, “Really? Why not?” and Sierra mumbles, “Because we just haven’t” and Jolie says, “Well, how far have you gone?” and I just about die when Sierra answers something about “To happyland and back, but we haven’t… I’m just nervous,” and I hear her voice shake, and even though I’m totally grossed out by the visual of whatever “happyland” is to my brother and his girlfriend, I’m also concerned about the tone one of my friends is using, so I glance up and Sierra is shooting me “I’m sorry” eyes.
“I guess, I dunno, I’ve always been nervous about that step. With Kevin, it’s like he wanted it so bad he forgot that I was a person and not just… for lack of a better word…a tool. Levi isn’t like that at all, but still. I don’t want to do it because it’s expected. And whenever we get close, I shut down because I’m afraid.” Her teeth snake out and tug at her bottom lip as she stares at the carpet. “It’s hard to be that vulnerable with another person, to trust them like that. I don’t know when I’ll be ready for it.”
“Levi knows about this?” I ask, surprising myself for contributing to the conversation. But if he’s not being a nice guy, there is some serious booty whooping in store for him.
Sierra nods. “He knows, and he’s patient and caring and loving and all that other stuff you probably don’t want to hear about your brother.”
“No… I want to hear he’s good to you.” I reach out and grab a piece of black licorice. “I just don’t want to hear about how his tongue or lips or ass or anything else is good to you.”
That gets her to snort, and Jolie’s laughing. Sierra’s wiping a few tears from her cheeks through her laughter, and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s happy or sad or what, but I scoot over and snuggle her thigh. Her fingers unwind my braid and she smoothes my hair out, and we don’t bring up anything else about her sex life.
“Okay guys, I’m coming in!” Zoe says from the hallway. I lean up enough to watch as she struts through the doorway in a bright gold bikini, choker on her neck with a chain dangling down to the waist. Her long red hair hits mid-back as she twirls for us, and I’m using every ounce of energy to suck down my fits of laughter.
“What the heck?” Sierra says, eyes not leaving the chain. “Are you some kinky prisoner girl? Didn’t know Zak was into that!”
Jolie bursts out laughing, and I can’t hold mine in anymore as Jolie says, “Sierra, she’s totally Princess Leia.”
Zoe claps and bows at Jolie. “We have a winner!”
“Princess who? What the what?” Sierra shakes her head at Zoe’s “lingerie” and says, “You should’ve let me design it.”
“What?” Zoe sets her hands on her hips, and I admit, she looks pretty darn amazing in that thing. “Zak is going to go crazy when he sees me in this.”
“I’m seriously regretting my dare.” Sierra laughs, but I see Zoe’s slight frown, and I shove her sister for her.
“I think you look totally legit,” I say. “Once you braid your hair you could be her stunt double.”
“Thank you,” she beams, then gives Sierra a pointed look. “That’s how you be supportive, you butthead.”
“Did you just call me a butthead?”
Zoe grabs a cracker and chucks it while Sierra ducks.
“Okay, I’m changing then I’m asking Brea truth or dare.”
“This is what I get for having your back?” I fake gasp, and I don’t even feel ridiculous about it. I feel lighter than I have all week, and I want to dare someone for a group hug, just so I can wrap my arms around these girls.
“Be thinking about it!” she calls over her shoulder as she leaves the room, chain swinging around her waist. Sierra shakes her head.
“You’re gonna choose dare, aren’t you?” Jolie asks me, eyebrows up and head cocked like she knows everything that goes on in my brain. And in this time, she’s right. I always choose dare when I’m forced to play this game.
“Probably.”
“Hey, Zoe!” Jolie calls down the hall. “Brea wants dare, and I have the perfect thing in mind. You care if we see some boys tonight?”
Zoe’s voice floats back in the room. “Go for it!”
I wiggle my fingers and mouth “Bring it” when Jolie looks back at me. A wide smile spreads across her face.
“I dare you to give Zoe a lap dance.”
My stomach knots because that’ll be humiliating, and since Jolie said “boys” I’m betting I’ll have an audience.
“I take it that’s not all.”
Jolie shakes her head and looks at Sierra whose eyes are wide circles.
“That’s definitely not all.” Jolie stands and grabs her jacket from her bag. “You have to dance on Adam’s front lawn. And…” She stops, dragging out the suspense, and I cross my arms, ready to do whatever she wants.
Her eyes go up and down my pajamas and she says, “You have to do it in Adam’s squirrel costume.”
Relief swarms my belly. “Done,” I say, and get to my feet. I will own this furry lap dance.
J
olie puts her hand up as I walk to the door. The smile on her face tells me she’s still not done with my dare conditions. Well, that’s okay, because I’m up for anyth—
“In just his squirrel costume.”
Chapter 18
I hope naked squirrel lap dances don’t cause chaffing.
Giggles provide a steady background beat as I knock on Adam’s door.
“Shut up, you guys.” I laugh, bouncing on the balls of my feet and rubbing my arms to stay warm. Sierra hugs me from behind just as I hear the lock click.
Adam shakes his head at us when he gets the door open.
“Levi!” he calls behind him. “You owe me ten bucks!”
“Damn it!” Levi says from up the stairs. Adam steps back to let all us girls in.
“You guys bet if we’d show up?” Jolie asks, shutting the front door behind her.
“Levi said Sierra was gonna be strict about the ‘no guy’ rule, but I figured she’d also make you play truth or dare at some point.”
Sierra scoffs as we all laugh.
“So,” Adam says, clapping his hands together. “Who’s going to humiliate themselves?”
“Oh, I’m not embarrassed,” I say, shooting a glance at Jolie. “I’m one heck of a dancer.”
Adam raises an eyebrow as more very sugary giggles cascade from all the girls.
“Can I borrow your squirrel uniform?” I ask him, already making my way up his stairs. Sierra pulls Zoe and Jolie into Adam’s sitting room.
“As long as you’re not gonna ruin it.” Adam smiles and follows me up. “I gotta work tomorrow.”
He slides next to me when we get to the landing, and I inhale his almondy scent, and tummy tickles crawl through my skin. My hand twitches next to his, and I’m not sure what’s going on but I have the urge to touch him.
“Break time,” Adam says, opening the door to his room. Levi’s lounged across the floor, waving a ten dollar bill in the air, and Zak’s in Adam’s desk chair, brow furrowed as he stares at the computer screen. Zak’s dark hair is super matted and messy. He always reminded me of Harry Potter… without the glasses.