Home Is Where the Heart Break Is

  I was sucking in breath by the time we got to the top. Of course Nico wasn’t breathing hard at all.

  “It’s the high altitude,” I said between gasps.

  “So what are you saying? You’re a Lowlander marshmallow?”

  “Shut up.” I climbed up on the rock’s flat surface, put my hands on my hips, and glowered down at him, but it was very hard to stare angrily at a guy whose incredible brown eyes and sexy smile were causing your already pounding heart to speed up.

  Nico climbed up on the rock next to me. We glanced around at the surrounding wilderness and the azure colored lake below.

  “I’ve forgotten how gorgeous it is up here. Rooftops and streets are the only views I see back home. It’s amazing how easily you can forget that places like this exist when you’re stuck in the city.”

  Nico’s arm reached around me, and he pulled me against him so we were face to face. My breathing had no chance to slow. He peered down at me. His free hand reached up and pressed against the side of my face then he dragged his rough thumb across my bottom lip. He lowered his face, and I lifted my chin to meet his kiss. His mouth grazed my lips so lightly it felt as if a breeze had touched them. He straightened.

  “This is not the time and place yet,” he said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’ve been waiting to taste those lips since I was ten years old, so when it finally happens, it has to be exactly right.”

  I was certainly disappointed, but he was right. We’d known each other for so long, a first real kiss would have to be perfect.

  I moved my hands from his chest to around his neck and rested my face against his shoulder. “I suppose I’ll have to settle for being tucked in your arms for now, but I’m going to be thinking about that kiss.” We stood among the quiet rhythmic sounds of insects, birds, and rustling tree branches for a few minutes then I lifted my face and looked up at him. “Wait a minute. Here I thought you were only interested in Pokemon, but it turns out you were dreaming about kissing me?”

  “Yeah, I guess. Although in between dreaming about your lips, I was thinking about my trading card collection. I was only ten after all.”

  Spending time alone with Nico had taken my mind off the letter. In fact now our potential first kiss had taken priority in my thoughts.

  We walked back to the marina, and perky little Vanessa ran down the docks to greet us.

  She was holding up her phone and I wondered if I was going to have to squint at a new picture of Peter Vickers whose actual existence still eluded me. “Guess what! My brother just called me from work. The Highlander Nightfall River Float is back.”

  I looked up at Nico. He didn’t look quite as thrilled about its return as Vanessa, and I had no reaction because I had no idea what she was talking about.

  “I don’t remember it,” I said.

  Vanessa looked pleased to have to explain it to me. “The Tube Shack, down in the village, provides free inner tubes to Highlanders every other Thursday night. An hour before dusk, we all float in a giant mass of inner tubes down the river and watch the stars come out. It’s a really fun tradition. I’m sure you can still qualify as a Highlander since you grew up in Pinecliff and since you’re living here for the summer. Plus, my brother will be working there that night, so I’m sure I can get you a tube.”

  Nico looked hesitant.

  “Come on,” I said. “It sounds fun. Otherwise I’ll see if Lexi wants to go.”

  “I’ll think about it,” he said.

  “Well, I’ve got to get back.” Vanessa spun around and flitted back to the rental office.

  Nico pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. “You sure you want to go?”

  “Yeah, it sounds cool. And since it’s Highlanders only, I won’t have to worry about Regina being there.”

  He fell silent.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. It’s just that Regina works at The Tube Shack during summer.”

  “Oh.”

  He squeezed me tightly. “And would you stop obsessing about Regina. There is nothing between us.” He released me. “I’ve got to get back to work before Dad comes down to snarl at me. Later, Duchess.”

  Chapter 12

  Mom and I had spent the evening alone feasting on grilled cheese sandwiches and talking about every topic imaginable from her failed engagements to our sweet but slightly nutty Aunt Sadie to the interesting relationship twist that was taking place between Nico and me. Mom had not been the least bit surprised when I told her. She told me she’d always known that I was crazy about him and that he was equally wild about me.

  The only bad part of the day was the letter. It was just silly paranoia but I’d spent a great deal of the evening imagining that something was crawling on me. Then I slept with the light on.

  ***

  Several morning hours passed as I watched and marveled at how impressive my Aunt Sadie was as a saleswoman and by how much she knew about old stuff. She seemed to be able to match customers up with the perfect item within moments of meeting them, and her vivacious personality had them all charmed.

  My mom was doing well too. She was wrapping a century old glass and silver cruet set with tissue as Chase walked in holding a pink bakery box. My mom’s face lit up when she saw him. Her customer panicked as Mom nearly dropped one of bottles in her excitement to hug Chase.

  “How’s your sister?” Mom and I asked simultaneously.

  “She’s doing a lot better. Thanks. My parents stayed down the hill to be closer to the hospital.”

  “Well, if you need anything please call us, Chase,” Mom said and returned to the customer.

  Chase ran the box under my nose. “Up for a bear claw? I thought we could sit out front on the bench and eat one.”

  Aunt Sadie waved me outside. “Go, go.” She beamed at Chase. “You grew up so handsome.”

  A shy smile tilted up Chase’s cheek. “Thanks.”

  I grabbed his arm. “Come on, let’s go before one of them proposes to you for me.”

  We sat on the bench in front of the shop and watched as a couple with three little boys in tow struggled with back packs, cameras, and water bottles. The littlest one was already crying his lungs out because his mom wouldn’t let him hold his own water. She finally relented and handed it to him. He immediately drank some, spilling half of it on his shirt. They turned up the path to hike to Widow’s Peak. It was a particularly popular hike because it wasn’t strenuous, and the reward at the end was a scenic waterfall.

  “Tourists-- you gotta love em,” Chase said as he handed me a plump bear claw.

  “I’ll bet they turn around at the first bend where that duck shaped rock is sitting. I forgot about Widow’s Peak. I’ve always loved that hike.” I took a bite of the pastry and closed my eyes to savor the taste.

  I opened them and Chase’s blue eyes were smiling at me. “I’ve never seen you take a bite of a bear claw until you’ve picked off the almonds to eat first.”

  I shrugged. “People change. What can I say? I live dangerously now.” My words reminded me of the letter. “Where’s Susie this morning?” My mind should not have gone directly to Susie, but I could not help myself.

  “She went shopping in the city with her mom. I just hope she doesn’t buy me any clothes. She’s always trying to dress me, and I’m just not into high fashion.”

  “She dresses you? How cute.” Then I was pissed at myself for making fun of it. “You know, Chase, I saw you two together last night at the hospital, and I think you guys have a nice thing going.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Sometimes things are really great, and sometimes I need her to back off.”

  “Why don’t you just let her know when you need more space? I had to do that with the guy I was dating back home. Of course, now that I’m here, I realize I need more than space. I need to end it.”


  “Sorry about that.”

  The next family was more daring. They’d rented bicycles for their kids. Dad was riding ahead completely oblivious to the chaos behind. Mom was, on the other hand, in full panic mode. One of the little girls stopped her bike, threw it on the ground, and stood on the path with her arms crossed angrily over her chest.

  “Maybe she didn’t get the bike color she wanted,” Chase said.

  “Ahh, the relaxation of a family vacation.” I leaned back against the bench. “Hey, are you and Susie going on that free evening float on the river tomorrow night?”

  His eyes widened. “Are you and Nico going? Then I’m going for sure.”

  “I’ve almost got him convinced,” I said.

  Chase looked over at me and wiped a crumb of bear claw off my chin. “You two are hanging around together a lot, aren’t you?” There was a hint of sadness in his tone.

  “I guess.” I had no idea how to even approach the subject of Nico and me with Chase, but then I’d forgotten that both my friends could read my thoughts as well as I could read theirs.

  “I know you two have always been meant for each other,” he said quickly as if he just wanted to get it out. “I never wanted to admit it when we were growing up, but deep down, I always knew I was sort of the other guy in the friendship ring. I knew Nico was nuts about you, and at first I’d convinced myself that you liked me better but that all changed the day you stayed with him on the slide. I knew then you would do anything for the guy.”

  I wrapped my hands around his arm. “I would have done the same for you, Chase. You just didn’t need me as much. As preoccupied as your parents were with Cindy, I knew that you were loved at least. It wasn’t the same for Nico.”

  “I know he’s really glad you’re back,” Chase said. Then his expression dimmed. “I’m just worried that it’s going to be really hard on him when you leave again. The last time he fell into a downward spiral.”

  It was something I’d begun to worry about as well, but I wasn’t just concerned about Nico’s feelings. I was troubled about the impact it would have on me as well.

  “I guess we’ll have to see what happens. I’m here for the summer . . . I hope.”

  Chase’s phone rang. He looked at it and let it go to voice mail. “See, that’s what I mean. I’m sure she just wants to know what color socks I want.”

  “Well, that’s sweet.”

  “Not really. She knows I just went through a family trauma, and every time the phone rings my heart leaps up into my throat because I’m worried something is wrong.”

  “I can see your point.”

  “Man, Jessa, I wish every girl was like you.”

  “Well, that’s impossible because I am nothing short of spectacular.”

  He laughed. “See even that. You even make fun of compliments, and other girls get pissed if you’re not showering them with mushy bullshit.”

  I kissed his cheek. “You are so cute. Thanks for the pastry. I’ve got to get back inside.” I stood and dusted crumbs from my lap. “I hope we’ll see you on the river.”

  “If Nico decides not to go-- which is doubtful since you’re going-- call me if you need someone to go with.”

  I smiled down at him. “I’m sure that would go over well with Susie.”

  “Actually, it would be good for her to spend some time around you.”

  “If you say so. I’ll let you know. Keep us up to date on Cindy.”

  Chapter 13

  Nico had had to tow the broken boat down the hill, so we hadn’t met for lunch. Then thunder clouds rolled in and he had to stay late and put covers on all the boats. Mom had gone to Aunt Sadie’s for the evening to help her with some of the household chores she’d been unable to complete with a bad back. I looked forward to an evening alone with a book and microwave popcorn.

  Admittedly, the unfamiliar creaks and moans of the cabin unsettled me some, but I figured I was safe from bears and other forest critters. I put on my sweats and fuzzy slippers and curled up on the couch to read.

  I had not seen Nico all day, and it had left me feeling sort of hollow inside. Now that I was back I wondered how I’d ever survived leaving him. I’d undeniably spent some long nights crying myself to sleep after we’d left Pinecliff, and for the longest time, I felt that I had no one to talk to or share secrets with. I’d lost both best friends at once. I know, at times, Mom had felt remorseful about it, but it’d never stopped her from pursuing her own happiness.

  Two chapters into the book, Nico called me. “Hey.”

  “Hey, Duchess. It’s raining down here already, and I’m trying not to get killed by lightning. My father is up in his dry, warm office watching me dart around the dock trying to avoid painful death by electrocution.”

  “I wish you hadn’t told me. Now I’m going to be worried.”

  “You’re worried about me, Jessa?”

  “Shit, you jerk, I’ve been worried about since the first day I met you.”

  There was a long pause. “I missed you today.”

  “I missed you too.”

  “I guess I’ll finish before the boats get too wet.”

  “Uh, don’t boats usually get wet even without rain?”

  “Yeah, but my dad is nuts.” Another pause. “Love you, Jessa.”

  “Love you, Nico.” We hung up and I stared at the same page for ten minutes. It was the first time we’d ever said love to each other, and it felt completely right as if the words had always been there—they just needed to be spoken aloud . . . and often.

  Mom called next, and I closed my book. I figured chapter two was about as far as I was going to get tonight.

  “Hi, Sweetie, is everything all right there?”

  “Yep. I’m wearing my fuzzy slippers, and I’ve got a bowl of popcorn. Couldn’t ask for anything more.”

  “Good. I’m going to be here for a bit. The house really needs some work. Poor Sadie hasn’t been able to do much.”

  “Jeez, Mom, don’t wear yourself out. That’s a lot of work. Why don’t you wait and I’ll help you tomorrow.”

  “No, I feel great getting so much accomplished. Just stay inside and don’t open the door.”

  “I wasn’t really planning on opening it, Mom. Text me when you leave Sadie’s so I know when to expect you.”

  “I will.”

  I ate a few handfuls of popcorn and decided I needed a drink. A bright streak of lightning lit the night sky outside, and a loud clap of thunder followed. It shook the walls and windows of the cabin. Wind gusts whistled through the giant pines surrounding, and rain clattered loudly on the metal roof. From the short length of time between thunder and lightning, it seemed the storm was directly overhead.

  I poured a glass of milk and was headed back to the couch as a second streak of lightning cracked the blackness outside. The lights in the cabin went out, and the refrigerator and wall heater fell silent. I stood frozen to the spot hoping that the electricity would be restored right away. Mom and I had not prepared for a blackout. Suffocating darkness surrounded me.

  Right on cue, my heart started pounding and my hands and feet felt tingly. I was heading for a full on panic attack. I took a couple of deep breaths and felt my way back to the couch. Once my shins made contact with the cushions, I dropped onto it and curled up into the fetal position to keep myself from falling apart completely. A cold sweat was breaking out all over my skin, and my throat was as dry as cotton. Obviously my overwhelming fear of the dark had not diminished in the least.

  A flash of lightning momentarily gave me hope, but then vacant darkness followed. The thunder sounded much louder without lights. My phone was sitting on the coffee table. Deciding I no longer cared about pride, I grabbed it. I was scared out of my wits.

  I dialed Nico hoping that just the sound of his voice would help me feel better
, but it went to voicemail. Tears broke from my eyes, and my voice cracked as I left a short message. “Nico, it’s me and it’s dark.” I hung up and hugged myself against the cold that was now creeping into the unheated cabin. I considered calling Mom, but I worried that she would rush home. She was not used to the mountain roads, and in this storm, it would be too dangerous. I had no choice except to brave the dark by myself and hope like hell that the lights would come back on soon.

  The clamor of rain on the roof and the gusts of wind swirling around the cabin were not helping. Every shadow looked like a monster, and every sound made me jump. I sat in a tight ball for what seemed like an eternity when I heard footsteps on the front porch. A scream caught in my parched throat as a tall figure passed the window. An urgent knock on the door sent me into full sobs.

  “Jessa? It’s me.”

  My sobs of terror turned to cries of joy when I heard Nico’s voice float through the crack on the door.

  I smacked my toe on the table in my hurry to get to him. I flung the door open. He was completely soaked, but I threw myself into his arms.

  Still holding me, he lifted my feet off ground and carried me off the porch and into the dark cabin. He was the dripping head to toe with cold water, but I was the one shaking almost uncontrollably.

  “It’s all right, Jessa. I’m here now. You’re not alone.”

  I released my hold on him long enough to clumsily wipe the tears from my face and peer up at him. “Did you get my message?” My chin trembled as I spoke.

  “I didn’t get it until I was in my truck. I was covering the last boat, and I happened to look up toward this side of the mountain. I saw that it was completely dark and figured the lights must have gone out in the storm. Then I remembered you were alone, so I jumped in my truck and raced over here. I check my phone and a squeaky little voice had left me a very sad little message.”

  I buried my face in his wet sweatshirt. The coolness of it felt good on my tearstained cheeks. “I’m so humiliated,” I mumbled. “I thought I could brave the dark but I freaked out.” Letting him go took all my courage but I stepped back. “You’d better take off those wet clothes. I’ll get you a towel, but you’ll have to follow me to the bathroom because I’m not going back there alone.”