Before Now (Sometimes Never)

  He draws his lips over my ear as he says my full name. I feel something building inside, growing, rising higher.

  “Harder,” I plead breathlessly. He complies immediately. I drag my nails across his back and he growls as he nips my neck. I gasp and drop my legs so I can thrust my hips up to meet his.

  Park moans and pushes my hands up beside my head. He interlocks our fingers as he watches me. “Not yet,” he rasps. He frees my hands and pulls my leg over his hip. “I want you to come with me.”

  Oh, shit. If he keeps talking like that I’m not going to make it. I whimper as he slips his arm behind my back, causing me to arch into his waiting lips. He brushes them over my chest and then my neck.

  “Oh, my God. Park. Please.” I don’t know what I’m begging for. All I know is I can’t take a second more. It’s not possible to feel this good. This euphoric.

  “I got you,” he says again as he works his hand between us and his thumb presses down, moving quickly over my sensitive spot. My entire body clenches as I spiral out of control. I cry out his name loudly and he covers my mouth with his. He thrusts into me twice more and shudders with his release.

  We’re both panting as he rolls to the side. He pulls me against him and rubs gentle circles into my back. “I just want you to know, if I end up homeless tomorrow—totally worth it.”

  ***

  I don’t know what I was expecting the morning to bring. I guess not much because when I open my eyes and find Park’s large sleeping form beside me, I’m a mix of shocked, excited, nervous, and extremely scared of the happiness overshadowing it all.

  He stayed.

  I take a shaky breath as I look at his face, peaceful and relaxed in sleep. His lips are parted, his sooty lashes lie on top of sculpted cheek bones, and his dark hair lies untamed from the usual messily styled faux hawk. I want to run my fingers over the tattoo on his arm like I’ve imagined doing since the night I saw it up close in his drunken state. What does it mean to him? I want to trace every black inked line of the words scripted around the dark roses and figure out the significance behind it.

  But I don’t.

  I’m afraid if I wake him he’ll leave.

  There was a lot of big talk in the heat of the moment about belonging to him, but I don’t know how much of that was true.

  Every word of it was real for me.

  But I can’t be sure about him—no matter how much I want it to be.

  I slip out of my bed slowly, careful not to jostle him, and pad softly to the bathroom. I start the shower while I brush my teeth. My whole body blushes pink as I recall the details of the night before. The way Park’s hands felt when he touched me. His lips. His tongue.

  I sigh, throwing my toothbrush in the holder before I step into the shower. I pull the curtain and let the spray beat down on my head. Standing here alone under the hot water, I come to terms with the fact that it may crush me if Park takes back what he said.

  I want more. A lot more.

  I hear the door open and close softly. The shift in the air chills my skin and goose bumps burst across my arms.

  My stomach tightens as I peek around the shower curtain. Park’s standing in front of the sink in all his naked gloriousness. He cocks his head to the side and grins at me as my eyes soak up every inch of his body.

  “My toothbrush still here?”

  I nod, feeling ridiculously shy, which is ludicrous. It’s a little late for that. “In the medicine cabinet.”

  He finds it quickly and I can’t help staring at him as he does something as normal as brushing away his morning breath—while he’s naked. His eyes drift over to me and he smirks around the plastic in his mouth. With a shake of his head, he spits into the sink and straightens up.

  “Lucy, I’m two seconds away from jumping in there to give you a closer look.”

  Before I can respond, there’s a knock at the door and my eyes go wide. Park’s head swings from me to the door and back. Without a word, he pries the shower curtain out of my hand and steps right in front of me.

  “Um…” I clear my throat and try again. “Yeah?” I call.

  “I need my brush,” Bree yells. “I’m coming in.”

  I shake my head at Park, not knowing how to stop her, and then it’s too late.

  “Jessie went to pick up donuts,” she says. Park’s looking at me with a devious smile and it takes me a second to respond.

  “Oh. Okay,” I say, my voice quivering slightly.

  Park takes a small step, pushing his body into mine and I have to cover my gasp with a cough. One dark eyebrow rises and he trails his hands down my sides.

  “I told him to get coffee too, so don’t make any.”

  “Uh-huh,” I breathe as Park’s hand dips between my legs and his lips brush across my collar bone.

  “You all right?” Bree asks, sounding amused.

  Park presses me against the cold wall. One of his talented hands grips my breast while the other rubs me before he slips a finger inside. His hot mouth works at my neck and I almost moan my reply.

  “Yep,” I squeak. “I’m good.”

  Releasing me just long enough to pull my leg up, Park rests my foot on the side of the bathtub. He moves to my lips, sealing his mouth over mine, allowing his tongue to explore.

  “Okay,” Bree chuckles. “Just come on down when you’re done in there.”

  “Mm-hm,” I mumble into Park’s mouth.

  “By the way,” Bree continues, “you left your dress in the living room—along with Park’s shirt.”

  Park freezes and I turn my head, my lips skimming his cheek. “Bree,” I begin, but then I stop, not knowing what to say.

  She laughs softly. “Don’t worry. My lips are sealed.” The door opens, but before she leaves, she clears her throat. “Treat her right,” she says firmly and we all know she’s talking to Park.

  He looks me in the eyes as he answers her. “I’m going to do my best.”

  Bree laughs again as her suspicions are confirmed and the door clicks shut. I still don’t move as Park’s words sink in.

  20

  Park

  The expression on Lucy’s face does me in. It’s the combination of her gray eyes, bright with excitement, her delicate brows pulled together in confusion, and her perfect lips parted in appreciation of my vow.

  I can see she wants to believe what I say—part of her does—but there’s another piece of her that’s reluctant to trust me.

  “I wouldn’t be here right now if I had no intention of trying,” I murmur. “I will strive to do right by you. Don’t doubt me.”

  I mean it. Right now, at this moment, I mean every single word.

  Her eyes flick over my face before she smiles. My heart kicks up, beating quickly in my chest. She doesn’t say a word. Instead, she pushes her mouth against mine and kisses me hungrily.

  I growl, my hands grasping her thighs, and spreading her legs wide. I move into the space I’ve created, letting her feel how much I want her. “Park.” She moans loudly and I can’t wait any longer. I push inside her and she pinches her eyes shut as she clings to me.

  “Park,” she sighs and I move quicker, on a mission to keep my name on her lips. Lucy pushes up on her toes, trying to get closer to me. I grip her ass and lift her. As her legs wrap around my hips, I bury myself as deep as I can. She gasps and a small smile forms on her lips. I kiss it because it’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen. I want to feel it. Taste it.

  Lucy’s fingers are digging into my shoulders and this little pinch of pain turns me on even more. I hammer into her as she pants against my mouth.

  “Open your eyes, Lucy. I need you to look at me.” It takes her a moment to comply, but when she does, I’m rewarded with that stormy passion I am all too fond of. “Fucking beautiful.”

  She bites down on her lip and I shake my head. “Don’t hold it back.” Her eyes close again as she fights to keep quiet.

  “Lucy,” I groan. “Look at me.” As her eyes pop open I feel he
r clench around me. “Does it feel good?”

  She nods quickly, her nails cutting into me.

  “Tell me,” I demand.

  Shaking her head, her muscles squeeze, tightening around me until I’m ready to explode.

  “Tell me, Lucy.” Ah. Fuck. I slam into her hard and her gaze locks onto mine.

  “Harder,” she grunts. Jesus. I do what she wants and in return, she gives me exactly what I want. Her head lolls back against the tiled wall and she moans my name loudly as her body quivers around me. I follow her right over the edge, kissing her roughly.

  Lucy touches her fingers to her lips and grins at me. “That was…”

  “Fucking perfect,” I finish for her.

  She nods in agreement. “Fucking perfect.”

  I don’t think I’ve ever heard her drop the F-bomb and for some reason, I find it incredibly hot. I press a kiss to her mouth as she slides her legs down to stand.

  “I’ll see you downstairs,” I say, my lips still on hers.

  She nods, smiling. “Save me a donut.” And then she slaps my ass.

  As I wrap a towel around my waist and go to find my clothes, I can’t help the grin that forms. I pause and huff out a surprised laugh.

  I’m fucking happy.

  ***

  I walk into the apartment and straight into my room to change. When I’m done, I make my way out to the kitchen, and drop myself into a chair for a donut. I notice Jessie watching me. My gaze flicks to Bree as she dunks a cream stick in her Styrofoam cup of coffee.

  “We cool?” Jessie leans forward, resting his arms on the table.

  I look at him for a few seconds. It’s not really a question. It’s more of a request. He’s trying to make peace with me. Hell, I’ve been over it since the moment Lucy’s lips touched my neck. “Yeah. We’re cool.”

  I pull the two remaining cups out of the holder and add cream and sugar to Lucy’s, setting it to the side. “What does Lucy like?” I ask as I flip the lid on the pastel colored box. When I’m met with silence, I look up. Bree’s grinning at me and Jessie’s brows are furrowed in thought.

  “What?”

  “Jelly,” Bree tells me. “The red kind.”

  I pick one out and set it on a napkin next to her coffee before I pluck up a chocolate glaze for myself. Jessie’s still watching me as I take a big bite and knock the lid closed.

  “What?” I ask again, my mouth full. I’m fucking hungry and I’m in a good mood. We’re over the bullshit from last night. I don’t want him to start something new with me now.

  “Nothing,” he says slowly. “You’re just acting weird.”

  I stop mid-chew and cock a brow. “Weird how?” I glance at Bree and her eyes are wide as she looks at Jessie, waiting for his answer.

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re being…nice.”

  I chuckle as I shove another bite in my mouth and try not to take offense to that. “Maybe I’m not as big an asshole as you think I am.”

  “Maybe.” He shakes his head and sips from his cup. “Or maybe you took my advice and got laid.”

  I swallow, nearly choking on the chunk of donut as it catches in my throat. If he only knew what I did with his advice. I smirk at him as I lean back in my seat. “Maybe,” I throw his word back at him because it’s a good non-committal remark.

  Jessie stands and smacks my shoulder. “Well, whatever you’re doing, keep it up. You’re not nearly as pissy as usual.”

  I laugh. “I have full fucking intentions of keeping it up.”

  Bree spits coffee across the table and starts coughing. With a worried expression, Jessie pats her back. “You all right, baby?”

  She nods and then laughs nervously. “Wrong pipe.”

  I hand her a napkin and wink at her. She rolls her eyes.

  This is kind of fun. Too bad Lucy isn’t here so I can mess with her too.

  Right on cue, she comes bouncing into the kitchen and plops down beside me. Her hair is loose and wet. The scent of her shampoo hits me, stirring something inside. She reaches for the cream and I place my hand on top of hers.

  “I already did it.”

  Gray eyes skip over to me. It might not be obvious to anyone else, but I notice the slight flush to her cheeks. I keep my hand in place, circling my fingers over her wrist. Under the table, her foot comes to rest on my leg. My lips twitch as I hold back a grin.

  “Thanks,” she finally says, pulling her hand back.

  “You’re welcome.” With my eyes still on hers, I lick glaze from my finger. I watch her mouth open as she observes my movements. I’m laughing internally as that infamous storm takes root in her gaze.

  Without missing a beat, Lucy sticks her finger deep inside her pastry. Slowly, she brings it up to her mouth, gliding her pink tongue along the side before wrapping her lips completely around her finger. With a little groan, she licks every bit of jelly off. “Mm. That’s so good.”

  “Jesus, Lulu,” Jessie chokes. “Don’t do that kind of shit.”

  She flinches like she forgot he was in the room. Hell, I forgot about him for a second too.

  Bree bursts out laughing, and as her amused gaze rakes over both me and Lucy, I know it’s at both our expense. In a quick motion, she glides her chair back, and takes Jessie’s hand. “Take me to your room. Lucy just gave me all sorts of ideas.”

  With a deep growl, Jessie throws Bree over his shoulder, and rubs his hand over her thigh. “I take it back, Lu. Do that shit anytime you want.”

  I watch them leave the kitchen and then I turn slowly to face Lucy. “You are in so much trouble,” I state darkly.

  “Oh, I hope so,” she breathes, making me go instantly hard for her.

  I swear the room grows hotter as we stare each other down. Several heartbeats pass before I launch myself at her. I pull her out of the chair and grip her ass with both hands before I kiss her. We stumble back into the wall and her fingers twist into my hair, holding me firmly in place. I don’t know where the hell she thinks I’m going. There is nowhere else I’d rather be at the moment.

  “Just so you know,” she pants in between kisses, “I’m not usually like this.”

  I pull back enough to look at her and I smirk. “Like what?”

  “This…” She shakes her head, searching for the right word, so I decide to help her out.

  I suck her earlobe into my mouth as I push my hips into her. “Horny?”

  “God. Yes.”

  I chuckle. “Lucy, I’m not judging you, but if I were, I wouldn’t be thinking anything bad.”

  Working her fingers under my shirt, she grazes her teeth along my throat, nipping me gently. Holy shit. That feels so good.

  “I blame you,” she mumbles, he nails skimming across my stomach.

  “Fuck,” I hiss. I pull her head back and crash my mouth down on hers. I don’t know if I’ve ever kissed a girl like this. I literally cannot get enough. My tongue moves frantically, drinking from her. I want her taste in my mouth permanently. By the time I pull back to catch my breath, we’re both at that point where it’s nearly impossible to turn back.

  “I don’t think I can take the blame all myself,” I say, my voice thick, husky. “You affect me just as much, if not more.”

  Lucy opens her mouth to respond and the buzzer sounds. We both jump at the shrill noise and I glare at the wall. Whoever the hell just interrupted us is going to pay dearly.

  21

  Lucy

  “Shit,” Park grunts. “Hold that thought.” He moves around me, heading for the living room. I pick up my donut and peek around the corner. I watch as he swings the door open.

  Two things happen simultaneously.

  Park’s entire body noticeably tenses and he says a name that makes my heart clench in my chest.

  “Hope.”

  I can’t see her because Park’s body is blocking the doorway. My stomach churns. He isn’t moving. I’m not even sure he’s breathing. I need to see her. I need to know what she looks like. This girl that a
ffects him in so many ways.

  Dropping my donut in the trash, I push myself forward. I can’t make sense of all the questions swimming through my head. Why is she here? Why won’t he move? Why does she have this effect on him? Is he in love with her? Does she want him back? Does he want her? What does this mean for us?

  It must only take me seconds to get to him, but it feels like forever. I pause just behind him and reach out, touching the tips of my fingers to his taut shoulder. He jumps and almost steps into me. He’s purposely blocking me and I don’t understand why.

  “Can we come in?” Guy asks.

  I lean around Park’s arm and wave them in. As Hope steps inside, my eyes trail over her, and my confidence takes a major hit. She’s pretty. Really pretty. If I was a lesbian, she’d be my type, pretty. It’s her uniqueness I think—the dark hair, streaked with a deep blue, the gauges in her earlobes, the old band tee shirt that hugs her torso perfectly. She’s small and feminine, but has this badass vibe going on.

  “What are you doing here?” Park asks quietly. His body is still wound tight. I’d know that even if I wasn’t touching him. His whole demeanor says: Get the fuck out.

  “We were in the neighborhood?” Guy says, but it sounds like a question. He smiles as he shrugs. “Hey Lucy-Lu.”

  “Hi,” I rasp.

  Park glances down at me before shifting his gaze to Hope. She sighs and does this little half wave thing. “Hi. I’m Hope.”

  I swallow, stepping away from Park, and extend my hand. “Lucy,” I say as we shake. “My friends call me Lulu or—”

  “You can call her Lucy,” Park states.

  My head whips back to look at him. His eyes are hard and focused on Hope—who by the way, does not seem like a threat in the least. She actually seems pretty nice. All the questions come storming back in.