Fantastical

  “Cora, I can’t use department resources to track some random woman down. That shit isn’t right.”

  “And sleeping with someone you’re investigating is? You rolled with that, Noc, I get it but you kept rolling with it so much your clothes were in my closet.” I returned and scored a point, I knew it when his eyes flashed again.

  Still, he said, “Babe, I was undercover. Shit happens.”

  Damn. He was right and I was getting desperate.

  I tried something new. “Okay, and the shit that happened is that you think you got me pregnant. That means you think we’re connected. And that means, as the woman who you think is carrying your child, you being a cop and all, one of the good guys, you have to help me. Just look her up, you find her, you give me her address, I’ll go to her.”

  “I’m not gonna provide you with an address so you can visit someone who’s probably a whack job.”

  “She’s not a whack job,” I returned though I couldn’t know that for sure, maybe she was, but I couldn’t worry about that now. “She can help.”

  “Babe, you got my kid inside you and this woman who might be a whack job also might be dangerous.”

  “I don’t have your kid inside me, Noc.”

  His hand tightened on my neck. “Cora, you do.”

  “Noc, I don’t,” I retorted. “But okay, you think I do, then you can go with me to see Clarabelle.”

  “Clarabelle?”

  “The lady I have to see.”

  “Cora –”

  I lost patience, my hands lifted, I grabbed his shirt and fisted it in my fingers.

  “All you have to do is look her up!” I cried. “That’s it. Look her up, take me to her if you find her and if it doesn’t work then I’ll do whatever you want me to do except,” I said sharply when he opened his mouth to speak, “get an abortion. If I can’t get back to Tor and I live through this pain, I’m keeping his baby.”

  “Jesus,” he muttered.

  I twisted my fists in his shirt, got up on tiptoe and begged, “Please.”

  Noc stared down at me and he did this for awhile as my heart beat hard in my chest.

  Then he ordered, “Get your shoes.”

  My head jerked. “What?”

  “Babe, get your shoes. You’re comin’ to the Station with me. The state you’re in, you aren’t outta my sight.”

  I leaned back and his arm got tighter, his hand at my neck moving so his other arm could close around me but it did this up my back.

  “Why are you taking me to the Station?” I asked suspiciously.

  “So we can look up this Clarabelle woman, I can take you to her then whatever you think is gonna go down is not gonna go down and then I can get you some real help.”

  Holy crap!

  He was going to help me!

  Hurrah!

  I felt the pain shift, it lightened and I smiled at him the second before I let his shirt go and threw my arms around his wide shoulders.

  “Thank you,” I whispered into his neck.

  “Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered but after a second, his arms gave me a squeeze.

  Yep, totally a sweet guy.

  Maybe, before I left this world, I should hook him up with Phoebe.

  Um… no. That might be too weird.

  Then again, I’d never feel it was weird because I’d be in my world with my Tor.

  My Tor.

  I’m coming home, baby, I sent my hope into the universe.

  Then I pulled out of Noc’s arms, gave him another bright smile and ran to get my shoes.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Crash into Me Part Two

  “I cannot believe this!” Phoebe shouted in my ear.

  I watched the headlights of Noc’s SUV on the wet, winding coastal road, their light barely cutting through the dark night, the wispy fog and the drizzling mist and replied, “Believe it and hurry. I’ve already called Mom and Dad. They’re on their way.”

  “I’m already out the door,” she told me then asked, “He’s with you right now?”

  My head turned to the left and I saw Noc’s profile in the dashboard lights.

  I looked forward again, “Yep.”

  “Holy shit. Is it weird? Are you okay?”

  “Totally and totally not.”

  “Oh honey,” she whispered.

  I loved my friend, I really loved her and her sweet understanding was one of the reasons I loved her but she had to get a freaking move on.

  Therefore I cried loudly and bossily, “Would you quit talking and get your ass out here? I’ll be all right but I’m not going to Tor’s world without telling you good-bye so you have to hurry!”

  “Right, I’m turning the key in the ignition now. I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

  “Phoebe, it’s an hour away. Be safe. It’s drizzling, there’s fog and the roads are slick,” I warned.

  “Right.”

  My voice dropped. “But hurry, honey. I don’t want to miss saying good-bye.”

  “I’ll hurry,” she said back. “See you soon, babe.”

  “Later, babe.”

  “Later.”

  I flipped my phone shut.

  Getting you up-to-date, obviously Noc had found Clarabelle. After two weeks of searching he found her in ten minutes. When he told me he’d found her, I shouted, “Hurrah!”, threw myself in his arms and kissed his cheek right in front of all his colleagues but I didn’t care.

  He found her. He found her.

  And now I could go to Tor.

  When my arms closed around him, Noc had hesitated then he’d given me a tight squeeze before he pulled his head back, looked down at me and studied my face with a weird intensity before he let me go, wrote down the address, grabbed my hand and pulled me through the Station.

  And now we were headed that way.

  “Jesus, babe, I cannot believe you convinced your folks and your friend this shit is true,” Noc said quietly and I looked at him.

  “It is true,” I stated. “And, by the way, they’ve also met Tor, the other Tor who is not you so they will so totally corroborate what I told you when you see them. That is, before you see me disappear to another realm.”

  And this was true, so true, I should have thought of it before; so true, I should have thought of it two weeks ago and tried contacting Noc then.

  Alas, I didn’t. But now, we were on our way. So, God willing, all’s well that ends well.

  He glanced at me. Then he glanced back at the road, shaking his head.

  Then he muttered an unconvinced, “Unh-hunh.”

  Whatever. He’d see soon enough.

  I hoped.

  We fell into silence and I broke that silence because I was scared, nervous and excited so I had to do something.

  “Thanks for doing this,” I told him.

  “We get this shit done then we get you to someone who can really do somethin’ to help you, then you can thank me,” he muttered.

  “I’m not crazy,” I told him something I knew he’d never believe until seeing made him believe.

  Again, I hoped.

  “Yeah, babe.” He was still muttering.

  See. He didn’t believe me. He totally thought I was crazy.

  Whatever.

  “I’m sorry you’re dragged into this,” I said. “I’ve been cleaning up Cora’s messes for awhile and from everything I gather, she’s unpleasant.”

  “Unh-hunh,” he mumbled again. “She’s unpleasant.” The last he said like he was humoring a small child.

  I ignored his tone and kept talking.

  “So, well, it sucks you met her and you’re caught up in all this mess. I mean, maybe not, seeing as she helped you bring down an illegal gambling racket, though, she kind of didn’t know she was doing it. Still, you did it but, you know, sorry if she was cold or unpleasant or a bitch.”

  Noc was silent.

  I was not.

  “How did you meet her, can I ask?”

  “Baby,” he said gently, “you were the
re.”

  “No I wasn’t.”

  “Right,” he muttered.

  Okay, I’d leave that alone.

  Then, I blurted (mainly because I was stupid, curious and stupid curious), “Why’d you sleep with her?”

  “You’re hot,” he answered immediately. “And there was the small fact you were all over me and not takin’ no for an answer.”

  Well, it was nice to know he thought I was hot.

  “Okay, then why’d you continue to sleep with her?”

  His hand came out and curled around my thigh where he squeezed then let me go.

  “Cora, babe, sorry but at first, it served a purpose and you…” He shook his head. “You got somethin’ about you. A promise. It just never was fulfilled and for some reason, signs you gave me or things I wanted to believe, I kept thinkin’ it would be. I gotta tell you, there were times when I hoped it would be, when I thought maybe, no matter the fucked up way we hooked up, we could sort our shit out. But then you would…” he paused, “be you. You tried, I could tell you tried, but you couldn’t pull it off. But, if it helps, I know you tried.”

  God, he thought I was a mental case and was trying to make me feel better about Cora failing to be able to play him.

  Totally a sweet guy.

  I looked back out the front window and muttered to myself, “I wonder why she’d give it to you and not Tor, who’s her husband. That’s weird.”

  “You said you were into me,” he answered my question and I looked back at him.

  “I did? I mean, she did?”

  “You did.”

  “I said I was into you?”

  “Not in those words. When you’re her, you don’t talk like you do now.”

  “So, what did I say? Something like, ‘You’re my moon and my stars, my love?’”

  He was silent and I got the message.

  I turned back to facing forward. “Sorry, I shouldn’t ask about –”

  “Fuck,” he muttered and I looked back at him.

  “What?”

  “Fuck,” he repeated.

  “What?” I asked louder.

  He glanced at me then back at the road. “You said I was perfect. Completely perfect. You said exactly that. ‘You’re perfect. Completely perfect. As you should have come to me.”

  He was perfect, as far as I could tell (uh… mostly, when he wasn’t angry and saying jerky things that was), though not as perfect as Tor (who could also get angry and say jerky things, by the by, I just decided not to think about that).

  “That was a nice thing to say, right?” I asked.

  “It was nice and it was weird.”

  “Weird how?”

  “You said it while touching my face, where you touched it earlier.”

  I sucked in breath.

  Noc kept talking and now he was talking like it was to himself. “Later, when we were in bed, you kissed my chest and whispered, ‘perfect, no scars, no bloody scars’.”

  Oh my God!

  “Cora didn’t like Tor because he has scars?” I asked him a question he’d already inadvertently bloody answered.

  “Babe –”

  I twisted back to forward and snapped, “That bitch!”

  “Cora –”

  “Tor was only scarred while saving his people from King Baldur’s tyrannical rule. He’s a warrior. He had a kingdom to rebuild. Shit like that happens when you’re at war!”

  “Jesus,” Noc breathed out on a sigh.

  “Tor was right. She so totally is not the other half to his soul, I’ll tell you that!” I clipped.

  “Do me a favor,” he said and I snapped, “What?”

  “Calm down, yeah?”

  I crossed my arms on my chest and grunted, “Yeah.”

  Cora, so… totally… a bitch.

  I deep breathed and as I was deep breathing I realized what my outburst must have sounded like, not to mention all the other stuff I’d been saying, so I started to smile. Then I started to giggle. Then I started to giggle harder.

  “Oh shit,” Noc said, “you’re not cracking up on me, are you?”

  I shook my head and sucked in breath, trying to control the giggles and I forced out, “It just hit me what what I said must have sounded like.”

  Noc was silent.

  “It’s no wonder you think I’m crazy.”

  Noc remained silent.

  I fought the giggles back and took a steadying breath.

  “You all right?” he asked softly when my laughter died away.

  “Yeah,” I answered softly.

  “You got a great laugh, babe.” He was still talking softly.

  “You’ve never heard me laugh?” I asked.

  “Nope,” he answered.

  I’d heard that before.

  I stared at the dark, slick road, the windshield wipers moving slowly to clean away the mist and I whispered, “You are, you know, as far as I can tell.”

  “I’m what?”

  “Perfect.”

  I heard him pull in a breath.

  I ignored that too.

  “Do you want kids?” I asked quietly.

  He hesitated before he answered quietly, “Yeah.”

  “How many?”

  This time, he didn’t hesitate. This time, he spoke like he knew exactly what he wanted.

  “Don’t care. As long as they’re healthy, happy and I can provide a good life for them, I’ll keep goin’.”

  I turned to him, looked at his beautiful profile and whispered, “I hope you find someone really fantastic, someone as beautiful as you who thinks you’re perfect, has a great laugh and you want to keep going with her.”

  He glanced at me again and when he did he was smiling and his smile caught in my throat.

  It was nearly as good as Tor’s.

  “Baby, you just described you.”

  “Shit,” I whispered and turned back forward, “I kind of did.”

  He chuckled.

  “Though I’m not fantastic, I’m cold and bad in bed,” I reminded him and he burst out laughing.

  That caught in my throat too because it was also nearly as good as Tor’s.

  He quit laughing but declared, “Babe, you made me laugh like that when we were together, I wouldn’t have let you pack my bags.”

  Hmm.

  “Good thing I did, considering I’m crazy,” I reminded him.

  “I could handle crazy, you make me laugh and you can kiss like you kissed me tonight.”

  I felt my eyes get wide and turned to look at him again. “Noc, are you flirting with a lunatic woman you think has multiple personalities, a gambling addiction and is pregnant with your child?”

  He glanced at me before turning back to the road, his handsome face even more handsome with his smile. “Cora, if there’s anyone I can flirt with, I can flirt with the woman who’s pregnant with my child.”

  I faced back forward, muttering, “I can’t argue with that.”

  Noc chuckled again.

  I finally (and belatedly wisely) fell silent.

  It was Noc who next spoke.

  “Which one is you?”

  I closed my eyes.

  Then I opened them and replied, “I guess both are me, Noc, in a way.”

  “I prefer this you.”

  Poor Cora. What an idiot.

  “Everyone does,” I whispered.

  “I could work with this you,” he muttered, again as if to himself.

  Oh boy.

  I turned to him. “Noc –”

  I stopped talking when his eyes narrowed on the road and he started, “What’s…?”

  I turned back and saw what looked like… I leaned closer… stars. Little, glittering stars, hundreds, maybe thousands of them and they were dancing in a wide line perpendicular to the road.

  “What the fuck?” Noc whispered as the stars started growing, glittering, increasing in number and Noc slowed his SUV but we still kept driving straight at them.

  Oh shit.

  “Noc,” I b
reathed but said no more because the stars exploded, shooting out to the sides, they burst in a blinding light. I flinched against the sudden brightness, lifting a hand to shield my eyes and when I recovered I saw that up their middle a black seam had split through.

  “Fucking hell!” Noc shouted.

  Then a black horse with rider surged through the seam.

  Oh my God!

  “Fucking hell!” Noc repeated as the horse’s hooves hit the slick asphalt and came tearing straight at us. “Hold on!” Noc yelled and swerved his SUV, narrowly missing horse and rider.

  I grabbed onto the dash but twisted my head to look back, seeing the rider pull the reins sharply to the side to round the horse and come back.

  “Stop!” I cried.

  “What the fuck is that?” Noc asked, looking in the rearview mirror.

  “It’s Tor! Stop! Stop. Bloody stop!”

  Noc stood on the brakes, his SUV came to a sliding halt and I was out of my seatbelt and out of the car before Noc could finish shouting, “Cora!”

  I took off on a run and cleared the back of the SUV seeing Salem galloping toward me, Tor on his back and I kept right on running but I did it faster.

  At the sight of him, the pain that had ebbed with the promise of hope washed clean away.

  Tor kept Salem coming at me and when he got close, he leaned down to the side. His arm hooking around my waist, he lifted me up and set me on the horse in front of him.

  I didn’t hesitate. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, aimed my mouth at his and the minute our lips touched, they opened and his tongue slid in my mouth.

  Oh yes. There it was.

  I was home.

  I didn’t notice Salem slow to a halt under us because Tor’s arms were around me, his mouth was on mine, his sandalwood scent filled my nostrils and his strength surrounded me. He kissed me hard and I kissed him back just as hard, pushing close, draining him dry.

  His mouth tore from mine and his hands came to either side of my head where he held me still while his eyes searched my face so I took that opportunity to allow mine to roam his.

  Then he let my head go, his arms crushed me to him and he shoved his face in my neck.

  “My love,” he said there, his voice low and hoarse with unconcealed relief.

  Feeling it, hearing it, my tears came instantly and started to fall.