Pillowtalk

  Austin’s hand slammed down on Aaron’s shoulder, jolting him out of his fantasies with a harsh sting.

  “You might want to tuck that tongue back in your mouth before we get over there.”

  Aaron’s fist connected with his brother’s ribs, impressed with himself when Austin stumbled a few steps to the side. Foolishly, he hoped that Kennedy had seen and was impressed as well.

  “The Sheppards have arrived!” came the booming voice of Aaron’s already drunk friend. Sawyer threw his arms up, his right hand clutching a tall can of Busch. He was talented enough not to spill a single drop even with all the swaying.

  “Finally!” said Victoria Westerly, one of the older and wealthier residents of Lyra Valley. Aaron had spent one full summer painting her guesthouse, only to have her tear it down the next year and replace it. She was very sweet, despite her occasional naïveté.

  “You guys waiting for us or something?” Austin asked, putting his arm around Kennedy in greeting and immediately locating a drink. Kennedy’s cheeks flushed that beautiful shade of pink under his brother’s weight, and Aaron watched as her eyes swiveled to his. He felt his lip pull into a grin, but he knew it wasn’t genuine. His gut clenched with the reminder that he couldn’t greet her in such a way without feeling intense amounts of arousal, and even more intense amounts of guilt. His fake grin faded quickly, and he ignored the way her brow furrowed.

  Victoria’s lips spread open in a full smile as she gestured for the music to cut off. “It’s lake time and this one here”—she waved a manicured hand at Kennedy, who flushed even darker—“begged us not to start without you two.”

  A round of laughter sounded through the crowded lakeside, and Kennedy shook her head and denied the claim, but Aaron felt a real smile touch his lips, as well as something deep in his gut. It was most likely because of Austin—he was her date, after all—but just the thought of her pausing the tradition for him had his heart missing beats. Kennedy was rarely outspoken; he would’ve liked to have witnessed it.

  The crowd started toward the canoes and small boats that were tied all up and down the lake—spouses and lovers, friends and parents with their kids—Aaron’s gaze automatically fell to Kennedy still tucked under Austin’s arm, his chest as tight as a vise. His date for the night was Charlie, not that it was bad company, just not the company he wished for. But it was better that way. Smarter. Safer.

  He took a deep breath, patting his leg for Charlie to follow him out to one of the canoes. Kennedy’s deep brown eyes followed the dog and went up to Aaron, her brows pulling inward yet again. She leaned in and asked Austin something, and Aaron forced himself not to care about what she was saying—if it could possibly be anything to do with him. It didn’t matter; he couldn’t—no, he shouldn’t—do anything about it anyway.

  “Aaron!” he heard from behind him, and he turned to a breathless Chelsea running through the long grass in the back of the B&B. “Sweet baby Jesus, slow down! I ain’t got those daddy longlegs.”

  Aaron’s lip tilted up in the corner as he stopped in his tracks, and he flicked his gaze briefly to Kennedy, who was watching him, but her eyes flew elsewhere when he caught her looking. He held back a laugh and turned to Chelsea.

  “You going out?” he called back to her.

  “Dan gave me the night off.” She set her hands on her hips, catching her breath as she caught up with him and Charlie. “And I call your boat right now.”

  “Even with this guy aboard the ship?” He nodded to the husky, someone Chelsea wasn’t too fond of.

  A wrinkle appeared above her nose. “He’s a little devil, that dog, but as long as you’re around, I imagine he’ll mind his manners.”

  “One can hope,” Aaron teased, but he swung an arm around Chelsea’s shoulder and led her to one of the canoes along the lakeside. The sky wasn’t nearly dark enough for any stars yet, and the clouds loomed overhead, making it look as if there was a fat chance of seeing anything at all, but having lived in Lyra Valley and its random weather patterns, Aaron knew the stars would arrive at some point in the night.

  Chelsea climbed in, Charlie jumping after her with a force that rocked the canoe to nearly capsizing. Chelsea bit back what Aaron assumed was an insult to the pup and slumped down to steady the rocking. Aaron laughed as he pushed the canoe off into the lake and hopped in, water splashing up the back of his jeans.

  “Damn,” he said, swiping at his pant leg. “Almost made it.”

  Chelsea eyed the splash. “I’d say that’s pretty good since you haven’t been out here in years. I still get soaked up to the back of my knees when I do it.”

  A chuckle rose from his gut, and he grabbed the oars and pushed them out farther from the shoreline. It was true—he hadn’t been out on the lake in years, the last time being with Jared, actually. He frowned as the memory weaved through his mind, and his gaze went across the lake to the docks. It had been a bright day, the calm before the next storm, which had been expected that night. Aaron’s gut had been shriveled into a dried replica of what it usually was, his heart cracked and oozing thick, black liquid as he spoke the words that he knew would end everything.

  “I slept with her,” he’d said. “Last night…Liss and I…Jared, I’m…shit, I didn’t mean…”

  Jared had blinked, his mouth turned up in amusement, as if he’d assumed Aaron was joking. He had to be; they were best friends since childhood. There was no way that Aaron could have done something so cruel. But he had, and Aaron’s heart had plummeted to the deepest parts of hell when he saw Jared’s expression contort with the realization that there was no joke.

  “I didn’t mean to….” Aaron had blurted out. “Damn it, it just—”

  Jared had stood up, stormed over to him, and socked him in the chin. “Don’t tell me it ‘just happened.’ ” Then…his face crumpled, his fists clenched around the thick rope he’d been securing to the dock when Aaron had found him. His friend broke in front of his very eyes, a man who’d never cried even when he’d shattered a bone, skinned his knees, tore a muscle. Jared had paced back and forth on that short dock, shaking his head in disbelief, repeating no no no under his breath to useless explanations that kept flooding off Aaron’s tongue.

  Aaron could still recall Jared crouching in front of him, holding his head in his hands, back jerking with sobs, and Aaron unable to do anything to stop it, to take it back, to make it better. The memory slammed into him just as hard as that punch to his chin, knocking the wind out of him. He ran a hand over his scar, tore his gaze away from that dock, and blew out a careful breath. It was good that he remembered these things with such clarity. Maybe it would be easier to put a stop to the rising feelings he was having for another girl who had been, and perhaps still was, Jared’s.

  His eyes scanned over the water, seeking out the royal-blue top, the pale, smooth skin, and the curled brown hair he couldn’t stop thinking about. His blood ran warm when he spotted her leaning over the edge of her and Austin’s canoe, her fingers running over the top of the water with the lightest, most delicate touch. What he wouldn’t give to be worthy of a touch like that.

  Charlie nudged up against his leg, and Aaron forced his eyes away from Kennedy and told himself not to look over there again.

  “So,” Chelsea started as Aaron tucked the oars away and the canoe settled. Her lips curled up, and she flipped her head wrap over her shoulder. “How was four-wheeling?”

  He shook his head, knowing that she suspected something was going on between him and Kennedy. Had he been obvious, or was it her?

  His gaze almost went back to Kennedy, but he stopped himself. “Like riding a bike,” he teased.

  “You don’t say?” Chelsea’s eyes rolled at his joke, landing on the canoe Aaron was trying to avoid. “Did Kennedy have a good time?”

  The image of her on the quad prodded at his mind before he shoved it away. He couldn’t have that running through his head right now. “She seemed to, yeah.”

  “Thank goodness.” Chels
ea relaxed, propping her elbows behind her on the edge of the canoe. “All I’ve seen that girl do since she got here is lock herself in her room or stand at the edge of the dock and stare at the lake.” Her eyes widened. “I took her out that second night, you know? Mistake. Poor thing bolted halfway through the night and apparently was standing in the alleyway out back until I finally realized she wasn’t next to me.”

  Aaron’s brows rose, the back of his neck burning as he recalled that night outside Carson’s. It was the night he gave himself sixty seconds of weakness before he also “bolted.” It seemed a lifetime ago…had it really been only a week?

  Chelsea let out a long sigh, and Aaron watched as her mouth turned up into that signature Chelsea curl. “At least she seems to be having fun with you.”

  A grin pulled at his lips; he’d known Chelsea long enough to recognize when she was suggesting something. It just happened to be that she was spot-on this time around.

  “Just say what you want to say, Chels.”

  “I don’t think I have to.”

  He felt his grin fading as quickly as it had come, and his gaze shot back to the docks, over to Kennedy, back to Chelsea. “She’s Jared’s,” he told her in a quiet but firm voice.

  “Was Jared’s,” she countered. “She’s available now, Aaron.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that.” With Kennedy telling him she wasn’t sure what was right, what was wrong, his heart cracked and ached not just for himself, but for her. He’d lost his best friend a long time ago and relived it all over again when that damn cancer stole Jared away, but he’d never lost someone that he loved like Kennedy loved Jared. He didn’t know what that love was, but if he were to describe the feeling, he imagined it would start in the same way as he felt right now. The thought of pushing Kennedy away shot him straight in the chest. He couldn’t even think of how it felt to her to lose that feeling completely.

  “Why’d you come back home?” Chelsea asked, leaning forward to rest her chin in her hand.

  “You know why,” he whispered.

  “Tell me again.”

  A long huff escaped, his internal torment draining him. “Stable ground? I want something…more than what I had.”

  “Did you come back for Lissa?”

  She nodded toward a canoe down the lake a ways, Lissa’s long, highlighted hair easily spotted among the crowd. Aaron felt his breath seize for just a moment, only long enough for the shock to wear off. It was getting easier to see her around town—when she’d helped remove the tree, it was awkward every time their eyes connected. But he’d been a bit more distracted by another pair of eyes, and his body definitely knew which woman he was into more.

  “I came back to feel the way I had with Lissa,” he said, turning back to Chelsea and running a hand over Charlie’s head. “Those feelings faded when I moved, so when I look at her, it’s not the same. It’s…a reminder, I suppose. That I’m an even worse person than I thought because I destroyed a friendship over something that wasn’t even real.”

  “Then shouldn’t you want to feel something better?”

  He shook his head and held back an amused grin. Damn, she always had to get philosophical on his ass. “Yeah, I guess.”

  Chelsea let out another sigh, a cocky smile toying with the edges of her mouth. Aaron felt his pulse spike as her gaze drifted back to the boat he knew Kennedy was sitting in, and he pushed his eyes shut. You don’t have to look, he told himself. Just like he didn’t have to fall for another woman whose heart belonged to someone else.

  “I don’t know that much about her,” Chelsea said, breaking into his guilt-ridden thoughts. When he opened his eyes, she jerked her head over to the other canoe. “Kennedy. Only that Jared spoke the world of her.”

  And damn it if his gaze didn’t travel in that direction as if on autopilot. In a completely different way than it had with Lissa, his breath stopped in his chest, an iron fist wrapping around his heart as he watched Kennedy’s mouth turn into a frown. Her eyes shone in the soft twilight, and she gave Austin a short nod at whatever he’d asked her. Aaron ached to know what she was thinking, what they were saying….His spine stiffened as the urge to swim over there ran through him. He pushed away at it, focusing on petting the dog at his feet.

  “I can see why,” he said quietly, turning his eyes to the bottom of the boat. It was a cruel form of punishment—falling for the woman he couldn’t fall for—but he deserved it.

  “It’s okay,” Chelsea said, breaking the silence between them. He met her eyes, and she tilted her head. “Is that what you need? Someone to tell you it’s okay? Because it is.”

  His hair brushed over his forehead as he shook it. “She lost the love of her life. How could I even—”

  “I don’t think it’s her feelings that are stopping you.”

  His hackles rose, prickling up his spine as he straightened it. “I’m not insensitive to them.”

  “I’m not saying you are, or that you ever would be,” Chelsea said quickly in defense. “I’m saying that you’re not following this”—she thrust her finger into his chest, his pulse pounding with the tension of the conversation—“because you’re worried about betraying Jared all over again. He’s gone, Aaron.” Her voice broke, and his skin ran warm as he pushed closer to her, the boat rocking under them as he attempted to offer her any sort of comfort. She pressed her lips together in a hard, straight line for a moment before they relaxed, and she glanced at Kennedy across the lake. “Even if he’s somehow still around, I don’t think it’s an accident that you two are in the same place at the same time. There are bigger things at play here. Bigger than you and what you’ve done.”

  Her shoulders slumped, as if she’d been holding that in ever since she’d noticed whatever was happening between him and Kennedy, and it was an exhausting relief to finally let it loose. “Forgive yourself, please. I beg of you. Tell yourself the same thing I just told you….It. Is. Okay.”

  Aaron held his breath, letting her words soak into him, seep under his skin, and touch the deepest parts of his dark, shamed soul. She couldn’t possibly be right, could she? Kennedy was there for Jared, no one else. She’d go back as soon as she spread those ashes, and Aaron would…well, he wasn’t sure what he’d do when she left, but his stomach caved in at the thought.

  He ruffled Charlie’s fur and noticed Chelsea’s eyes drop to the act. She reached out, and her soft, slightly cold hand covered his. She squeezed it once, twice, and then held on. A jolt ran through Aaron’s chest as he felt not a weight lifted, but shared.

  “They’re here!” a voice shouted out among the many people over the lake. The quiet picked up to a twitter, floating over the water as eyes turned upward. Chelsea grinned and let go of his hand, relaxing back to watch the stars come through the wispy clouds.

  The lakeside constellations were always a fantastic view; Aaron wasn’t immune to the tranquility it seemed to provide the entire town. But it wasn’t the view he wanted right then, and instead of chastising himself for it, he turned to look at Kennedy, and locked with her beautiful chocolate eyes. She rested her head atop her propped knees, her lips tilting up in a shy smile that he returned while a rush of warmth ran under his skin. Could it be possible that she was there for more than just Jared? Did fate really have something to do with him moving back home, with her visiting at the same time? In that moment, he’d like to think that it did, because even with the draw of the night sky above, she, too, was choosing to look right back at him.

  Chapter 14

  Kennedy

  Austin rowed the canoe across the peaceful lake, the soft plink of the water caressing Kennedy’s heart like a warm blanket. She held back a grin, thinking of the first thing Austin had said to her when they’d settled in the middle of Lyra Lake. “I think my brother has got it bad for you.” It had been a long night of trying to avoid constantly looking over at Aaron while he seemed to be having a very serious conversation with Chelsea, but she wanted some sort of proof that
Austin was right.

  Her body tingled, and she clenched her legs tight, remembering the way Aaron had brought her to complete ecstasy just seventy-two hours ago. She quickly dipped her hand into the lake and brought it to her neck, cooling the heat rising up her skin. What had come over her? Before she’d arrived, she couldn’t even entertain the idea of giving her body over to another man. Now she worried not only that Aaron was going to have her body at the blink of an eye, but that he was going to steal her heart as well.

  No…she couldn’t let that happen. She’d promised Jared would keep it forever, beyond that awful cancer, beyond death, no matter how broken and battered it became.

  The canoe bumped up against the shore, and she grasped the edge to keep from spilling into the water as Austin very capably jumped out and pulled it up on the sand. He grinned in the dark, only the stars lighting his features. Her heart fluttered with rapid, beating wings as he stuck his hand out to help her up and she saw his twin instead—wished for it, actually.

  “Careful, there,” he said, holding her steady as she climbed out. Her feet sank into the wet sand beneath them, and she dropped his hands and wiped her bottom off from the dust of the canoe.

  “Thanks,” she said, flipping her hair out of her face. “That was f—”

  A big ball of gray and white fur barreled into her leg and, not exactly prepared for it, Kennedy wobbled on her feet, grateful for Austin’s stellar reflexes. He stuck his arm out and she bounced off it, a laugh rumbling up her throat.

  “Charlie,” she scolded the overexcited pup, but her eyes scanned around for his owner, hoping he was close behind.

  She squinted against the darkness but didn’t see anything until a rough hand tucked into hers, and she knew instantly from the shock waves that ran up her arm that her wish had come true.