Pillowtalk
His tired eyes met hers, and there was a flash of concern Kennedy could only guess was over her mental health. A small laugh flitted from her lips, and she shook her head at herself, deciding to go for a light conversation, the heavy parts of her too exhausted to come out. “Can I for once not embarrass myself in front of you?”
His stomach shook with silent laughter, and the couch dented in as he pushed up off his knuckles to sit more upright. He covered a yawn as he said, “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, Kennedy.”
The skip in her heart as her name fell so easily off his tongue said otherwise. She slumped over, her hands itching to hold on to his while they had this conversation; given what he’d done for her last night, she had no right to be shy. She had no desire to be shy. Her breath came free, and she reached for his hand, skin warming instantly when she tucked her fingers into his palm.
His eyes flicked down to the act for just a second before coming back to meet hers.
“Last night was…” she started, trying to find the right words to describe the euphoria she’d experienced at his hands. Aaron’s mouth turned down, and his grip twitched against hers.
“Wrong?” he filled in, and she inhaled sharply at the unexpected definition, though she couldn’t deny it, either.
She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know.” She waited for his eyes to come back to hers. “It didn’t feel wrong. That’s why it felt so…wrong.”
Aaron nodded, and then shifted on the couch, propping his leg up against hers. The dampness of his jeans sent goosebumps up her bare skin, and on top of the confusion she felt a twinge of guilt for keeping him so uncomfortable all evening.
She took a deep breath, ready to make this quick so he could go put some clean clothes on. “I don’t know if…” Her voice had started to break already, and she gulped, hoping that it would help. Aaron leaned forward, draping his free arm on the back of the couch, his fingers within reach of her shoulder, where he ran a comforting thumb across the loose plaid shirt.
She decided to start somewhere else; somewhere less self-incriminating. “I haven’t been with someone since Jared.”
Aaron’s eyebrows twitched upward, but he didn’t look completely surprised. She supposed she hadn’t hidden the fact that she’d had a hard time moving on, the evidence of which was sitting in the same room with them.
“I don’t know if I’m…” Her voice was gone again, and she blew out a long breath, wondering why it was so much harder to admit out loud—that she had felt so much last night, more than she had in a long time, if ever. Aaron had taken her to a place she never knew existed. It seemed a crime to reach that state of bliss with anyone other than Jared. It was hard to admit that she wasn’t sure if she’d ever felt that state of bliss with Jared. The thoughts made her eyes water.
Aaron slid a soft finger across her forehead, tucking away the hair she was hoping would cover any lingering tears from her breakdown the night before. She felt a small smile pull at her heart, grateful for the patient way he was handling her jumbled mind.
“I don’t know if I’m forgetting what it was like,” she said in a rush, leaning into his soft touch. “To be with a man, to be intimate, to be…taken away like that.” She swallowed hard and watched Aaron’s lips slowly part. He stayed quiet, but his breathing stalled as he waited for her to finish the horrible thought.
She squeezed his hand and dropped her gaze to their laps. “I don’t know if it’s that, or if…if these feelings are just…stronger.” Her eyes drifted over her shoulder to the urn resting on the opposite couch. “And that just doesn’t seem fair. To anyone.”
Then Aaron did something she wasn’t expecting—he smiled. She furrowed her brow at the expression, unable to control her own lips from turning up. He pushed up, grabbing at the back of her neck and pressing their foreheads together. A deep, long sigh fell from his smiling lips, as if her awful confession were filled with words of sweet relief, when it was anything but.
“It’s not fair,” he said. He held her close like that for several beats, and she was tempted to close the gaps between their bodies, beg him to take her to that magical place where none of this confusion existed and he could heal even more broken parts of her, but she knew that the crash would be just as hard as it had been before, and her mind just wasn’t ready for it again so soon.
He lifted his head, meeting her eyes with a beautiful look that mirrored her exact emotions.
“We should get out today,” he said. “Austin, you, and I. We’ll show you around town, take you to all the places Jared used to cause havoc.”
She bit away a grin at the fact that he’d added his brother in the mix. Obviously he knew that more alone time would be too tempting not to take advantage of.
“Yes,” she said, nodding enthusiastically. “I’d really like to do that.”
“Me, too.” Aaron let out a warm breath, pulling back and slapping his knees. “Let me change, then Charlie and I will take you to the B&B.”
She checked the clock hanging on the wall above Aaron’s head. “It’s only five thirty.”
“You want to sleep some more?”
She snorted softly behind her hand. “I don’t think I can.”
“Well, I’ll come back to the B&B around eight. You can help me load the truck.”
Her head tilted in intrigue. “Load it with what?”
He hoisted himself up from the couch and with their hands still joined, she went with him easily. “Just something Jared loved to do after big storms like this.”
Kennedy hadn’t been surprised in so long that her stomach flipped with anticipation. Anything Jared loved to do would most likely require a good, sturdy pair of shoes and clothing she wouldn’t mind ruining. Whenever he’d suggested something bold and daring, she would groan and drag her feet the entire way. But—and she was touched that Aaron picked up on it—after a night when she pushed Jared from her mind, she needed a day to prove to herself that she hadn’t forgotten him.
She was tempted to wrap her arms around Aaron’s bare torso, not only to feel those mouthwatering muscles before he covered them up, but to express her gratitude for his very understanding nature. She knew that it wouldn’t stop there, though, not with his tempting skin and the memory of last night so fresh in her mind. So she only squeezed his hand, and then they both parted ways to get ready.
—
Kennedy’s stomach took a dive along with the four-wheeler she was straddling. The dirt hills were more like mounds of mud, splashing up her pant legs and spraying her bare arms as she tore through the trails. Austin hollered and buzzed past her on his own four-wheeler, his body much muddier than hers. A laugh came from deep within her, and she turned the wheels and raced after him.
They weren’t the only ones out here; when Aaron had pulled the truck and trailer up, five other families were unpacking their own bikes and quads, strapping on helmets, and getting ready to enjoy what the rain had done. He must’ve known—or had the same desire—that Kennedy needed to be around people today. There were times when it was too much and times when it was just right. He hit the nail on the head with this one.
“Swing back around!” Aaron called out as he pulled up next to her, a wide grin set on his face under the mud-spattered goggles and helmet. “Jared’s favorite jump is up over there!”
She followed his lead, Austin falling in behind her. Whether they were doing it on purpose or not, Kennedy always felt so safe between them—that whatever spontaneous thing she was about to do that she normally wouldn’t have, they were both there to make sure she was taken care of.
The ground dipped low before it trailed up like a roller coaster, and Aaron gave her a wickedly sexy glance over his shoulder as he rolled up and over the peak. The next moment, he was gone from her sight, but she heard his low, strong voice holler out as he went down the hill.
“Lean back and keep it straight!” Austin called out as she got to the top. Her heart leapt out in front of her at the steep drop that
lay ahead, and her breath stopped short in her throat. She shook her head frantically, wishing she could back out, but the machine under her had already started to roll down behind Aaron.
“I don’t want toooooooooooo!” Her voice was a high cry that carried over every hill around them. The wind pushed against her face, whipping her light short-sleeve shirt as she went straight down to the ground below. Her stomach barrel-rolled, mud splashing up her back as the four-wheeler bumped over the uneven terrain. Through the rush, she could see Aaron at the bottom, one foot settled in a mud puddle as he waited for her with unabashed amusement. If she had the guts to lift her white-knuckled hand off the handlebars, she’d give him a very tall, very playful one-fingered salute.
Her screams throbbed in her throat the entire way down, but as she neared the bottom her fear bubbled into laughter, and her heart slammed back into her chest with a beat as strong as the wind blowing over them. She stopped the four-wheeler a few feet away from Aaron, arms trembling as she slowly eased off the handlebars.
“Oh, I hate you right now,” she teased, her voice coming out in a shaky rhythm. Aaron lifted his goggles, settling them on top of his helmet, his face noticeably dirty where he hadn’t been covered. A jolt ran through Kennedy, and her smile faded as she blinked against the visual.
He looked like Jared.
It was only for a split second, so short she wasn’t even sure she saw it right, but it was there. Something in his eyes, in the way his smile curled through the speckled mud, the way his chest rose and fell with the rush of adrenaline, the way he looked at her.
Her stomach crumpled, aching from the workout it was getting all day. Aaron and Jared were worlds apart. Jared had been loud and bold. He took chances and did anything that came to mind. Even physically they didn’t have much in common. Jared was the blond-haired, blue-eyed dream, average height and build, but strong, and fit against her so naturally, both physically and emotionally, she’d often thought of it as a perfect fit. That was the thing with perfection, though. It was fleeting.
Aaron was such a contrast that she began to worry about her mental state for ever seeing Jared somewhere in there. Aaron was quiet and careful with his words. He seemed to act only after contemplating every outcome, never diving in, for fear of the consequences in front of him. Physically he was the dark knight, cocoa-colored hair and those warm honey eyes. He was tall, thin, and toned, and yet…he too fit against her. Her skin flushed with heat at the reminder of his body pressed tight with hers, his chest strong and immobile against her pliant breasts. Her lips popped open to keep up with her breathing patterns. How could she fit so perfectly with two very different men? The words she’d spoken earlier couldn’t have been more true; it simply did not seem fair.
A splash up her side broke her from her thoughts, and she threw a shocked grimace at Austin, who had just slid in next to her, his tires slinging mud across her whole left side.
He gave her a giant smile. “Not so bad, right?”
She shook her head at him, flicking off the mud that now covered her entire left arm. Her eyes went to Aaron, who was sliding his goggles back on. “Kennedy, when I give the signal, you hit the gas with everything you got.”
“Shit,” Austin said from her side, and she let out a laugh as Aaron swung around and blocked him in before he could go anywhere. Aaron nodded to her and she punched it, kicking up a wave of mud that soaked the two brothers from head to toe. She threw her head back in laughter and kept on going, knowing it was only the beginning of their mud fight.
—
The sun hadn’t come out all day, and Kennedy wondered if another storm was brewing. But the locals didn’t seem too concerned about it.
“I hear there’s gonna be a lake party this weekend,” Austin said, jumping off the trailer and landing next to Kennedy. The mud had dried on his face, his thick beard caked so much it looked a different color altogether. “You want in?”
Her gaze automatically went to Aaron on the other side of the truck. He was strapping in the four-wheelers, his muscles taut as he pulled the cables tight. His eyes met hers briefly before she turned back to Austin.
“What does a lake party entail, exactly?”
“Food. Booze.” He laughed and shucked his gloves. “When it’s dark enough we go out in pairs on the lake to wait for the stars to show up.”
A few words stuck out to her in that sentence, and she wasn’t sure which one was more daunting—dark, which was not her favorite thing in the world, or pairs. Her gaze went straight over to Aaron again, and she internally cursed her eyes for always finding their way to him.
She felt a rough, callused hand grab hers, and she quickly turned to Austin, like he was about to get on one knee. “Be my date?” he asked with the air of a perfect gentleman.
Kennedy covered a giggle. “You don’t want to ask some handsome fellow you might get lucky with?”
“How many options do you think I have here?” Austin said with a laugh.
“Obviously not many,” she said, gesturing to his chiseled body. “Or you’d already be taken.”
Austin grinned and tossed his muddy gloves into the cab of the truck. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
Kennedy couldn’t help but notice the silence from the other Sheppard brother on the other side of the truck. Was he trying to keep his distance again? Or did he simply not want to ask her as his date?
Maybe he wasn’t even going. The fact that the curiosity surrounding him was killing her was reason enough to accept Austin’s offer. She needed a night that didn’t play with her mind so much…or her heart.
“It’s a yes,” she said, but as soon as Austin turned, she found herself looking back at Aaron. He ran a hand through his helmet hair, shaking out sweat and mud from their afternoon, flashing a grin at her when he saw her looking. She wanted so much to ask if he’d be at the party as well, but she thought better of it. She couldn’t ask him anymore to do what only she wanted, especially since she wasn’t sure if what she was asking was what she wanted at all. So she smiled back and hopped up into the cab of the truck next to Austin and kept the conversation light and shallow until they dropped her off at the B&B.
Chapter 13
Aaron
Aaron twisted the hot water on in his shower, the rusty knob screeching unpleasantly in his ear. There was mud in places that didn’t see the sun, and he was all too eager to scrub it off.
Not that he hadn’t enjoyed himself out there; oh, he had. It wasn’t just the adrenaline from running up and over all those muddy hills; watching Kennedy tackle them like a pro was the sexiest thing he’d ever witnessed.
Scratch that…second sexiest. Last night was hands down the top on that list.
He stepped into the tub, the water running instantly brown as it trickled over the top of his head and slid like a waterfall down his back. His hands ran through the thick, muddy strands of his hair, his nails digging at the stubborn dirt, which felt like glue. She’d been so…free out there. Uninhibited. It was so hypnotizing that he had nearly biffed it on the quad more than once. His feet slipped in the tub, just thinking about her. The wide smile, the excitement in her eyes, and the adorable pop of her mouth when Austin had covered her in mud…they all sat fresh in his mind. His blood rushed hot through his veins, pulsing down and making him hard as hell.
An expletive tumbled off his tongue and he cranked the heat off and let the ice-cold water run down his body. A shiver ran up his spine, and he turned and tipped his head back. Agony. That’s what it was. Sweet agony, because no matter how cold he turned the water, he could not turn off the vision of her smooth skin spattered with mud, her short-sleeved shirt clinging to every soft curve of her body, her breasts hard from the cold wind that blew across the road as they loaded the truck.
He should have thought to bring a jacket for her, but in very selfish hindsight, he was glad he hadn’t.
“Damn it,” he grunted under the chilling stream. Even though the cold had quieted him physically
, it wasn’t nearly enough to turn him off completely, and that was just the memory of her; he was going to see her in the flesh in a few days.
He only prayed that he’d make it the night without kissing her again, using the time away as a good chance to rid himself of any lascivious thoughts.
If given the chance, though, he doubted he’d be able to control himself no matter how many days had passed.
—
The party could be heard the entire way as Aaron and Austin drove around to the boathouse near the B&B. Austin parked next to a slew of trucks and Jeeps, his Porter’s Garage van sticking out like a sore thumb. Charlie bounded out as soon as Austin threw it in park and immediately found Kennedy, the pup obviously as anxious as Aaron was to see her after days of avoiding. Her cute squeal floated over the music, and Aaron’s heart leapt under his light blue button-up. So much for the two-day buffer; it hadn’t been two seconds and he was already a goner.
“Charlie,” he called out with a sharp whistle. The husky’s ears went back as he resisted the urge to tackle Kennedy to the ground. As adorable as it would be to see her down in the dust and dirt like she had been the last time he saw her, Aaron was enjoying the fresh, clean version of her that he was getting now.
He admitted that, yeah, he’d dressed a bit more “up” than his usual plain black or white T-shirt paired with a flannel and jeans. His buttons were actually put to use tonight, and while he kept the jeans and rolled the sleeves up to the crooks of his elbows, he was probably a bit fresher and cleaner himself.
But Kennedy? She blew him out of the damn water. Her short, dark hair was curled in waves, framing her round cheeks so perfectly he couldn’t wait to tuck one of those strands behind her ear. He knew if Austin wasn’t the one taking her out on the lake tonight, he was sure he’d find any excuse to make that happen.
She was also wearing blue, but hers was royal and dark, gorgeous against her pale skin. It was dipped low in front, hugging her perfect breasts. Her formfitting jeans had Aaron wanting to ignore every ounce of logic he possessed, grab her by the hand, and take her to that empty, quiet boathouse. He’d cup that tight, heart-shaped bottom and hoist her up against the nearest surface.