My Forever

  “So what do I get if I win?” I asked, pulling her into me.

  “Aren’t I already prize enough?” Trap-trap-back away slowly!

  I pressed my lips against hers eagerly. “It’s almost time to play ‘Where’s Maddy?’

  She giggled. “I kind of like the sound of that.”

  “You would.” I stuck my tongue out at her.

  * * *

  The party was filling up quickly as I made my entrance—eyes peeled for my girlfriend. The sea of masks was not helping one bit. I walked further into the auditorium of my school, craning my neck.

  There she is.

  I recognized her instantly. There, in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by our former peers, she was getting jiggy with it.

  I stayed hidden in the distance, she still hadn’t seen me—but I was taking every inch of her in, letting it soak into my pores.

  She was wearing a long, elegant beige dress with beads woven all over. Her hair had been taken up into a fancy hairdo, one with a lot of curls. She looked nothing short of stunning.

  After watching her laugh, smile, and dance through three songs with her friends, a slow jam came on and I began to make my way towards her familiar frame.

  I stopped short when I realized one of her friends from earlier, a male, was slowly rocking back and forth with her. It wasn’t easy to see, but he posed no threat to me. I continued towards them, lightly tapping the guy on the shoulder. “May I cut in?”

  He swung around, coming face to face with me, and then slowly backed away, a cowardly move. It was weird how people responded to me. Some gave up before the fight even began. I wondered if that came with the privilege of being popular.

  I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into me. She slid her arms around my neck at the same time.

  “I win,” I whispered into her ear, a smile plastered across my lips.

  “You found me,” she said quietly.

  “Of course I found you,” I replied as we swayed back and forth. “I would move mountains just to find you.”

  She smiled up at me then and proceeded to lay her head against my chest, pulling me closer into her.

  I loved the way it felt physically when we were together. Like we were two pieces of a puzzle finding their places together.

  “You wanna get out of here?” I asked, a rebellious streak brewing inside me.

  “Yeah, actually, I do.” She looked around then. “I just need to let Kendall know I am leaving—she was my ride. Give me a few?”

  I nodded, watching her get lost in the sea of people dancing.

  I hadn’t waited more than fifteen minutes before she returned to my side and we made our great escape. I was feeling adventurous so I offered up a drive to the beach. It was late and dark and being January, very cold. But Madalynne agreed without much persuasion.

  Thankfully, I housed extra blankets in the back of my truck because the last I wanted to do was ruin Maddy’s dress or watch her freeze to death.

  I spread the blankets out on the sand and then took a seat next to Madalynne, bundling her up in the thicker blanket. I could hear her shivering; her teeth chattering. I could even see our breath when we talked, but the view of the sky was well worth it. For a while we just sat in silence watching the loud waves crash against the shore.

  The sun was glistening off her face just so, it was glowing. She rested her head in the crook of my neck, grabbing my hands in hers and squeezing tight to say ‘I love you’.

  Her beauty was captivating. All I wanted to do in that moment was take her right then and there, right on the sand. I had never wanted her so badly before. But we were both virgins and inexperienced and I wanted our first time to be right; I knew Madalynne would want it to be perfect. No matter how perfect the moment had seemed—I refused to go there.

  * * *

  “Honey, can you set the table please?” my mother asked, softly.

  “Sure thing Mama,” I replied, hopping up from the couch and heading to the cabinets to get the dinnerware.

  My mother had cooked my favorite meal, Pot roast, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob and while I was stoked to be able to enjoy it, something told me this dinner was different. My parents had been acting strange all week. They had been out late one night, later than normal, and brought home a packet of some sort, but when I asked what they had been up to—they swiftly changed the subject. I had a feeling this dinner was going to be the one where they dropped the bomb. Not quite sure what kind of explosive they would be dropping, but I knew something was up.

  After setting the table, my mother dished out all of the food. It was only the three of us tonight. My seven year old sister Gwen was spending the night at a friend’s house, so it was unusually quiet as we ate my mother’s delicious meal. After about fifteen minutes of eating, without a word, my father finally broke the silence.

  “Parker, we need to talk to you about something.”

  I looked up at him cautiously, over my plate. “Yeah?”

  “Your mother and I went to see an army recruit the other day,” he replied, in between chews.

  “Don’t you think you’re a little late in the game to be joining the army, Pop?” I laughed, but stopped myself midway, realizing he may not think it as funny as I did.

  “Son, don’t you think it’s about time you got serious about your future?” my father asked sternly, eyeing me down.

  I looked up sheepishly at him, “Pop, it is my senior year, I have less than six months until I graduate. Do you think maybe I could take some time to appreciate the fact that I made it through the last four years before buckling down and getting serious?”

  “Parker, I know there is no convincing you to go to college. Your mother and I have given up that dream long ago. And to be quite honest, the military is the last route we would want you to take; you’re our only son left. But I don’t see any harm in trying to prepare you for the real world. Once you graduate you are going to have to move out, and without a degree landing a decent paying job will be difficult. That’s why your mother and I went to check out an alternative for you.” My father pulled his napkin out from his collar and set it on the table next to him.

  “You’re serious?” I looked back and forth, between the two of them.

  My mother stood up quickly, grabbing the mysterious manila envelope I had seen them cart around, and then plopped it down right in front of me. I opened it, slowly, not sure how I felt about this intervention.

  I was surprised to find information and brochures on every facet of the military, not solely the army; the reserves, the National Guard, the navy, even the air force.

  “The last thing I would want to do is lose you to some war in the Middle East,” my mother spoke then. “But you know your father came from a military family, and we see a lot of honor in fighting for our country, so we support it.” She smiled back at me. “Now, all you have to do is your homework.”

  I suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed. “May I be excused?”

  “Sure honey, I know this is a lot to digest,” my mother replied softly as I slid my chair back and exited the room with the manila folder. I ran up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me. I dropped the manila folder on my desk without a second glance. I honestly wasn’t 100% sure how I felt about their suggestion. I mean, sure, I had toyed with the idea of joining the military after what had happened with Bo. I had forgotten how fixated on that dream I had become.

  When Madalynne’s brother Mason passed away last April while on deployment, it halted my plans; I knew the dangers of being in the military, and while I had been prepared to face them, Madalynne was not as prepared to let me. His death shook both our families’ worlds to the core. I was as close to him as humanely possible, but I had to stay strong for Madalynne. His death was almost the complete destruction of our relationship; but I never gave up on her, just like she hadn’t on me. We took it day by day, but eventually we were able to help each other grieve and move on.

&n
bsp; I had been dating Madalynne Johnson for three and a half years now, the idea of leaving her alone, to deal with her parents crap, especially after all that we had been through, was unappealing to say the least.

  Sixteen – So You’re Telling Me I Conquered a Gay Guy?

  Madalynne

  It was the oddest thing, but ever since Christmas dinner, my parents had been getting along better than I’d seen in a long time.

  A few weeks after the holiday, my parents announced a plan for my father’s return. It had strangely been smooth sailing.

  “Honey, I’m making your favorite,” my mother chirped from the kitchen. “Stuffed green peppers!”

  “Yum.” I smiled, then turned my attention back to the television. Stuffed green peppers was always Mason’s favorite meal…I just never had the heart to correct my mother. In fact, lately, I had been toying with the idea of becoming a vegetarian—I really liked the way it made me feel when I cut meat out of my diet; healthier, stronger.

  I could hear my mother giggling from the kitchen, so I peeked my head around the recliner. My mother was hovered over the oven and stove and my father’s arms were wrapped around her waist. He was kissing her behind her ear and no doubt whispering sweet nothings to her.

  I turned my attention back to the television. My parents had found a way back to each other—I was happy.

  * * *

  It was the end of January and Kendall’s birthday was all I was allowed to focus on.

  Kendall had invited half the student body and went with a Hawaiian Luau theme. Her parents must have dropped at least ten thousand dollars.

  Even with an insanely expensive party thrown in her honor, Kendall was still hung up on Dylan missing it.

  I spent the entire day occupying her mind and time so her birthday was not ruined.

  After most everyone had partied themselves out and went home I finally got up to leave.

  “Let me walk you out,” Kendall said, standing up then.

  “You don’t have to do that, I know my way out,” I joked.

  “I know—it’s just the least I can do after you helped my parents with all of this.” She looked extremely grateful.

  “You’re welcome,” I said, then reached for her front door.

  I must have been opening the door at the exact time he had been knocking—because suddenly we were standing face to face with Dylan.

  I glanced back at Kendall, allowing her to speak the first words.

  “Dylan…what are you doing here?” she asked, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

  “It’s your birthday isn’t it? How could I miss that?” I watched as he handed her a wrapped present.

  I noticed something move in the distance. After focusing my eyes past Dylan and out onto the street, I noticed a fellow student of ours, Kenton Jacks in the passenger seat of Dylan’s car.

  Kenton was in a different grade and on the Varsity football team.

  He caught me staring and waved awkwardly, as if he was uncomfortable with me seeing him.

  I held up my hand stiffly in an attempt to wave when I caught Kendall’s attention.

  “Who are you waving to?” she inquired, curiously looking out.

  “Oh, it’s Kenton Jacks. You guys hanging out tonight?” I turned my attention to Dylan.

  “Actually, yeah, we have one or two classes together—he’s a pretty cool guy.”

  I nodded. “Cool. Have fun.”

  After Dylan was back in his car with Kenton and driving off, I turned to Kendall. “What do you know of Kenton?”

  “He’s on the Varsity football team and he’s popular—what else is there to know?”

  “I heard this interesting story about him once…” I trailed off, it all coming back to me.

  “What was it?” She was dying to know.

  “Long story short, Mr. Jacks bats for the other team.” I knew her reaction could go one of two ways—I just didn’t expect what she said next.

  “So you’re telling me I conquered a gay guy?”

  “Come on, I’m not leaving until you eat something.” Parker was perched on the edge of my bed, holding a serving tray with the most unappealing looking tomato soup on it.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten voluntarily, more than a couple of bites here and there. My brother had been taken from the world less than two weeks ago and it had shattered my world.

  I wasn’t the only one affected; my parents were facing a rough patch after the devastating news; neither one wanting to spend much time with the other, sadly, because they were constantly reminded of Mason. In a time you would expect a family to pull together for strength, mine fell apart at the seams.

  Parker had also been quite close with my older brother, but he was staying strong for me; saving his breakdowns for the solace of his own room as to not upset me any more than needed.

  I pulled the comforter over my head and nestled myself into my pillows. “Go away,” I growled. I was in full on bitch mode. But Parker continued returning; every day for two months until he finally coaxed me out of the comfort of my room; Out of the comfort of my home.

  I glanced around at the blue skies surrounding us, breathing in the air.

  “Go on, admit it, you missed this.” Parker pointed to the trees as if to signal nature.

  He always seemed to know what I was thinking without much effort. I shook my head lightly, smiling back at him.

  “Admit it!” He chased me all over the yard with his fingers outstretched threatening to tickle me to death.

  We fell to the green grass, laughing, out of breath.

  “This is the first time I’ve seen you smile, since…” Parker trailed off knowing he was treading unstable ground.

  “Don’t say his name,” I whispered; the pain still too much to bare.

  “It’s good to see you smile,” he changed the subject swiftly. “I had forgotten how beautiful it was.”

  I looked up into his chocolate colored eyes then. “How do you put up with me?”

  “It’s love, babe. You have to take the good with the bad, hasn’t anyone ever told you that?” he replied, kissing the top of my head.

  “You’re definitely an original,” I responded by kissing him eagerly for the first time in weeks.

  “Mmm,” he murmured just as our lips parted. He looked around at the sky above us. “Shit, where did that come from?”

  I glanced up to see what he was referring to, noticing a huge black rain cloud hovering directly above us. “Fantastic,” I replied sarcastically as the first rain drops began to pelt the ground.

  “Ready to go back inside?” Parker grabbed my hand without hesitating for an answer from me. I stopped abruptly, still holding his hand, causing him alarm. “Are you okay?” he asked, as he hopped back to me.

  “I wanna stay out here awhile,” I responded, winking at him through the downpour.

  “Well you’re just full of surprises aren’t you?” he asked, before wiping my drenched hair out of my eyes and lowering his lips to mine.

  Seventeen – Love Doesn’t Know Boundaries

  Parker

  Daffodils. Roses. Lilies. Daisies. Flowers everywhere. Literally everywhere. Valentine’s Day was upon us and every couple in the world was getting down on their type of romance. This year was different; this year was exciting. Madalynne had suggested a reverse Valentine’s Day. One in which I had the starring role, I was spoiled. It was an odd feeling not going all out this year, but I wanted to appease her.