My Forever

  I may have lied when I told her I wouldn’t get her anything. Okay, maybe lie was too strong. I hadn’t spent any money. I had simply written her a love letter. Something so foreign nowadays, but still held mountains of class and respect.

  School was almost nauseating with the amount of red and pink scattered about. Not to mention the handful of public displays of affection. Don’t get me wrong, I had a soft side—but I liked to reserve that for Madalynne.

  “That smells incredible.” I lifted my nose in the air, inhaling deeply.

  “Why thank you,” Madalynne replied.

  In celebration of her parents attempting to work it out, Maddy and I had decided to forgo our reservation at Morton’s Steakhouse so they could enjoy a night out. It was an hour’s drive so we knew we had full reign of the house for at least the next four hours.

  Maddy had found a recipe on a chicken pot pie and had quickly and easily made two for us. She didn’t cook very often but when she did it was mouthwatering. After finishing up with dinner she brought out a surprise dessert, chocolate soufflé, I was definitely being spoiled.

  After making our way to the living room, Madalynne spoke. “So I thought long and hard about what I was going to get you, and I think I finally got it right. I hope you like it,” she said as she handed me a stack of gifts.

  In my lap was a pair of Seattle Mariners tickets to an upcoming game, Breaking Bad seasons 1-3, and a half dozen of my favorite cupcakes from the Cupcakery. I looked up at my girlfriend, smiling. “You couldn’t have done better if you tried.”

  I leaned forward, pressing my lips firmly to hers. “Thank you.”

  As much as I loved spoiling Maddy, and I did…it felt good to be spoiled for once. To feel important.

  “Well…I know I promised not to get you anything, and I didn’t. But I did write you something.” I handed her my epically long letter.

  She began unfolding it right then and there. I put my hand on top of hers to stop her. “Maybe you could read this later?”

  She smiled, nodding. “No problem.” Then she folded it back up with ease sticking it into her back pocket.

  After allowing our food to digest, Madalynne treated me to a movie of my choice. We ended up at the theater to see The Quiet Ones, a recently released horror.

  We were waiting in line for popcorn and soda when I caught sight of Dylan a couple of lines over. “Dylan! Hey!” I hollered, waving my arms above my head. “Dylan’s here.”

  “I see…” Madalynne replied stiffly. “I don’t think he’s alone.”

  Dylan looked over, spotting us instantly. A look flashed across his face; he looked like a deer in the headlights; ghostly pale as he waved back slowly.

  “Why is he acting so strange?” I asked Madalynne, although I knew she likely wouldn’t have an answer.

  She shrugged. “I’m guessing it has a lot to do with Kenton.”

  “Kenton Jacks?” I whispered.

  “Yeah, they are obviously here together.” She motioned with her shoulder towards the two.

  I wasn’t completely oblivious—I had heard the rumors swirling around about Kenton…but why were they hanging out?

  After paying for our popcorn and soda, I made a beeline for my best friend. “Dylan!”

  He turned around. “Oh, hey, Parker.” I was hoping it was just me, but he didn’t seem pleased to run into us.

  “What movie are you going to see?” Neutral ground seemed safe.

  “The Quiet Ones,” Dylan answered.

  “Same here! Maybe we can sit together,” I suggested as we made our way towards the theater.

  Kenton began laughing under his breath.

  “What is it?” I felt compelled to ask.

  “Oh, nothing, it’s just Dylan and I had a running bet on what movie you were going to be seeing. He said if it were your choice it would be Gladiator, but if Maddy got her way it would be a horror flick. Looks like she won.”

  I shrugged. “Luckily I’m down for anything.”

  We followed the guys into the theater and the silence was unnerving.

  “So, how do you guys know each other?” I broke the silence after what felt like an eternity. The question seemed like a ridiculous one given the fact that we all went to school together…however I had never seen Kenton and Dylan run in the same circles, more or less acknowledge one another’s presence. Maybe I was a little jealous…Dylan was my best friend and I wasn’t ready to be replaced.

  Dylan glanced at Kenton, almost as if he was silencing him. “We go to the same school,” Dylan answered, responding just as I had figured he would.

  “I think what Parker meant was do you guys have a class together or something?” Maddy joined the conversation.

  I nodded, glancing thankfully at her.

  “Yeah, I thought I told you that the other day?” Dylan looked at Madalynne, irritated.

  I did a double take, wondering what secret they were hiding from me. “You saw Dylan the other night?”

  “Yeah, I thought I told you. He stopped by Kendall’s to drop a present off on her birthday.”

  “You guys were all hanging out and I wasn’t invited?” I asked, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.

  “He was in and out babe, and plus Kenton was with him.” Madalynne responded, shoveling popcorn into her mouth.

  The movie started to begin finally and our conversation ceased for the sake of the entertainment. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Kenton and Dylan had begun hanging out on a usual basis…one I had not been aware of or invited to.

  If the rumors about Kenton were true, did that mean Dylan was…? I wasn’t sure how I felt about the possibility that my best friend may have been hiding his true self from me. My brother had been gay and didn’t know the support system he had—so he never came out to us. Dylan would be my friend no matter who he preferred to sleep next to at night. But I wanted him to be able to trust me to tell me a secret of such a high caliber.

  “What are you guys doing?” I asked, a chuckle escaping my lips. I had entered my brother’s room only to find my best friend Madalynne applying bright pink fingernail polish to his nails.

  “We are getting glamorous!” Madalynne exclaimed in a high pitched voice.

  Bo laughed heartily, glancing at me. “We were bored. It was Maddy’s idea.” When he turned his face towards me I also noticed eye shadow and blush had been applied.

  “Just as long as it doesn’t get any weirder than that…” I trailed off, unsure of how I felt about the entire situation.

  “Actually, can you do us a favor?” Madalynne shot a glance at me.

  “What now?” I rolled my eyes.

  “Get out your mothers camera and record this.”

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  “We are going to put on a fashion show!” A grin spread across her face like wildfire.

  I looked back and forth between my brother and best friend, speechless.

  “You guys are such nerds.”

  “You realize you’re next for hair and make-up.” Madalynne teased.

  “You got anything better to do?” Bo shot back at me.

  No, actually. I didn’t. I shouldn’t have been so surprised; it was very much like the pair to come up with oddball ideas to fill our summer days. I shrugged before leaving the room to retrieve the camera for our many adventures.

  Eighteen – Forever & Always

  Madalynne

  It was the end of April and spring was definitely the shining star. Everything in my life was going good—suspiciously good. My parents had been communicating minus a small hiccup and Parker and I had never been better.

  My mother had invited Parker to dinner where she planned to make her famous lasagna along with my help. We spent the better half of the day cooking together, having a blast. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed spending time with my mother. Especially when she was cooking, she was definitely in her element.

  “Parker is going to be here any moment, is
it almost ready?” I asked my mother.

  “Nearly, but I don’t want to start without your father. Can you find out where he is?”

  I looked up at our wall clock. She was right. I hadn’t realized it was so late. My father normally returned home around 6:30pm every night. It was nearly 6:50 pm. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number.

  No answer.

  I hung up without bothering to leave a voicemail when I heard the doorbell chime.

  Parker was grinning widely when I opened the door. “Hey babe, thanks for inviting me.”

  I kissed him quickly then pulled him inside. “We were going to wait for my dad, but I have no idea where he is and I’m starving.”

  “Hello Parker,” my mother greeted him warmly as we entered the kitchen.

  “It smells amazing Mrs. Johnson,” he said with her Parker-esque charm.

  “Don’t be silly, you know it’s Shannon!” My mother said in an exasperated tone. She never tired of reminding him.

  “Sorry Shannon,” Parker groveled.

  “Now, come on, dish yourself up some food.” she instructed us.

  “What about dad?”

  “The food will get cold, come on now.”

  My father showed up twenty minutes later. The tension was high and thick. Parker and I snuck out before any daggers were thrown. Apparently he had given a coworker a ride home and that was his reason for being late, but that didn’t justify him conveniently avoiding us when we called. His strange behavior was oddly familiar.

  * * *

  “So have you figured out what your plan is yet? I mean, after we graduate?” Kendall asked. We were sprawled out on my bed, eating popcorn, reading magazines, and listening to the new Ke$ha cd.

  I shook my head no, discouraged. “I want to help people I know that.”

  After Mason had passed, it left me in a deep, dark depression. I didn’t want to look to the future when my best friend had been stolen from mine, prematurely.

  I became bitter, resentful, downright a pain to be around. But Parker wouldn’t give up; showing up to my house nearly every day with my homework and food. He was the one bright thing in my dark life. He brought me back to life. The only thing I hadn’t needed to contemplate for my end game was him.

  “Well you need to start sending out applications soon Maddy, or you’re going to miss the deadlines,” my friend warned.

  I nodded back, without looking at her. “Can we change subjects please?”

  “Sure…so, your birthday and anniversary are coming up! Tell me you are finally going to do it!” Kendall squealed, her blond curls bouncing up and down. She was referring to losing my virginity to Parker on my birthday, which was also conveniently our anniversary.

  “I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

  She immediately stopped flipping through the magazine at the end of my bed and sat up, inching closer. “So you’re telling me you’ve made the poor sucker wait almost four years…and you might make him wait longer?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I know what you’re thinking,” I glanced at her. “You’re thinking I’m crazy to be so close to him for so long and not…want him.” Saying the words made me blush.

  “Did you forget I was the one who had to suffer through your endless Parker rants all throughout elementary school, and then even middle school?” She glared at me.

  No, I hadn’t forgotten how long I had dreamed, wanted, and lusted for Parker. I remembered every single word he spoke to me, I kept records of every single text message, every single email. I wanted to be able to go back to any of it and instantly be reminded of the person I had thought with every inch of my being was my soul mate.

  But I wanted our first time to be magical. I wanted to make sure I was ready—we were ready. I never wanted to take one moment for granted with Parker. That’s why I vowed constantly to let him know how I felt, everyday as I felt it.

  I sat up as well, and then decided I would rather stand. “Does it hurt?” I asked Kendall, anxiously.

  “It’s more of an uncomfortable feeling. You shouldn’t have so much riding on the first time you know.” She laid back down to flip through the pages of her magazine. “It’s the times after that make it all worth it.”

  * * *

  My birthday had finally arrived, and Parker had planned out all the festivities. He hadn’t let me in on any of it, of course. All I knew was that when I had arrived home from school, Parker had called to make sure I would be ready to go within an hour.

  Because we were celebrating two occasions, I wore a dress I had bought especially for this. It was mid-thigh, and black, grey, and white. I dressed it up with a black shawl and silver jewelry. My make-up resembled a smoky eye, which really complimented my hazel eyes and long, curly, dark brown locks. In other words, I was stunning.

  When Parker showed up at my doorstep, he was nothing short of exquisite. His brown dark hair, almost black, was styled perfectly, along with his black, button-down collared shirt and slacks.

  “Wow, you look…incredible,” Parker searched for words. He took me in his arms and gently pressed his lips against mine.

  “You’re not too bad yourself mister,” I joked. “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise,” he replied, while his eyes danced with excitement.

  Before I knew it, we had pulled up to a restaurant. It was a well-known, highly expensive Italian restaurant. “Babe, are you sure you can afford this?” I asked, worriedly.

  “What did you think I’ve been saving up for these past couple of months? A road trip?” Parker joked.

  “Well, yes, because that’s what you told me.” I poked him playfully in the chest.

  “I lied, but for good reason.” Parker lightly kissed me on the cheek. “Now, come on, I’m starving.”

  The restaurant was amazing, and Parker had gone all out; spending extra cash to secure us our own table separate from the rest. It was secluded to a small room in the back of the restaurant. There were rose petals scattered all over the floor, candles burning, and the room was dimly lit.

  “Oh baby, this is too much.” I gasped at the sight.

  “Really?” he joked, sarcastically. “I know we’ve been through a lot…and it hasn’t always been easy…but there is no one I could imagine even wanting to have experienced all of that with—the good and the bad—other than you. I love you Maddy. You’re the one. You always will be.”

  “Honestly, what did I do to deserve you?” I hugged him quickly and tightly, never wanting to let go.

  * * *

  We had returned to Parker’s house after our amazing dinner.

  “This night was more incredible than I could have ever wished for. Thank you so much.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, as I felt his wrap around my body.