Zane's the Other Side of the Pillow

  “Asking me to be up inside of you with a bullet is like asking me to be up in you with another man’s dick.”

  I fell out laughing. “You are completely shot out. That is the craziest thing that I’ve ever heard.”

  “It’s crazy to you because you’re a female. What if I asked you to let me put a female blow-up doll next to us in bed so I could go back and forth between the two of you? Or even if I pulled out of you and started jacking myself off? How would that make you feel?”

  I stood there pondering what he had just said. He may have been onto something.

  “I see your reasoning, kind of. However, women are supposed to use sex toys.”

  “Says who?” Tevin stared at me. “Exactly. Women making excuses for using a bunch of sex toys and saying that they’re for variety is like men saying that they go out and fuck other women for variety. Those are merely attempts to justify wanting to do what you want to do regardless.”

  Again, he had a point. I had never thought of it that way. Men did often claim that they cheated because their wives or girlfriends weren’t giving them what they needed at home. A lot of women cheated as well, but Tevin’s theory about sex toys being a substitute for a man’s dick was valid. Then again, a lot of women weren’t getting any dick on the regular. They still needed to relieve some stress.

  “I see where you’re coming from but, on the real, a lot of women get used to utilizing toys during dick droughts. When they get a man, they still use them because they’re a part of their lifestyle at that point. It’s part of their routine, like getting a manicure and pedicure every other weekend, or getting their hair done every week, or working out at the gym three days a week. At least they’re not fucking someone else.”

  Tevin took me into his arms and slobbered me down. I felt his dick harden against my midriff.

  I pulled away. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “Hell, all this talk about fucking, inanimate objects inside your pussy . . . inside my pussy. Of course, I’m horny now.” He pecked me on the lips. “Aren’t you?”

  I grinned and started taking off my clothes. “Baby, I was born horny.”

  I turned, ran toward the foyer and up the steps. “Last one to the bedroom has to perform oral sex first!”

  Tevin was rushing behind me and then slowed down. “Well, shit, let me take my time. I’m starving!”

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

  —Lao Tzu

  It was my birthday. September eighteenth. Tevin planned to take me out to dinner later that night, but we were doing something a little different. He had paid about four hundred dollars to sign us up for a couples cooking class at CulinAerie on Fourteenth Street in downtown DC. I was excited. We were going to make some surf and turf and then eat what we had prepared. It was great to have a man who loved to cook. An added bonus.

  It was the third Wednesday of the month and, as usual, both the students and faculty were complaining about it being “Hump Day.” I had always wondered if the “Hump Day” phenomenon was as bad in other cities or whether it was because Washington, DC had so many federal government workers. To me, Wednesdays were simply another day of the week. Maybe it was because I enjoyed my job. If I were doing something I despised, I probably would have been doing a weekend countdown as well. Maybe that was the defining factor. People only worried about celebrating or dreading Wednesdays—depending on whether they were a glass half-full or a glass half-empty type of person—when they didn’t feel happy in their careers.

  I was delighted to be a principal. Ever since I was a child, I had always wanted to be an educator. I had taught English after getting my master’s, and then moved my way up the food chain until the superintendent took a liking to me, and made me an assistant principal first. In 2010, he had promoted me to principal when the previous principal at Medgar Evers retired after nearly forty years of service.

  We had a guest speaker that day. A former student, Lee Ricci, who had recently registered the patent for a new digital platform that had quite a buzz surrounding it. Many experts predicted that it would one day rival Google or Internet Explorer. He was major and everyone was very proud of him. He was under twenty-five and on track to become a billionaire by the time he hit thirty.

  He gave an amazing and motivational speech, followed by greeting students individually in the auditorium. The baby was kicking inside of me like crazy. While uncomfortable, I loved it all the same. The experience of carrying a fetus in my belly was one that I could not describe before I actually went through it. I was getting more and more nervous, and overwhelmed with the thought of being responsible for the life of another human being . . . forever.

  “Mr. Ricci, that was phenomenal!” I told him as I walked him out of the chaos toward the flight of stairs leading down to my office. “We are so proud of you here at Medgar Evers. You’re one of our most accomplished alumni.”

  “People can say what they want about DC Public Schools,” he replied. “I was given a great education and I want to make sure that youth understand that it is up to them to use the opportunities presented to them instead of wasting them.”

  I nodded my head as I felt the little one kicking inside my belly. “As you can imagine, every day is a challenge when it comes to trying to keep thousands of students under control and interested in school.”

  “I can do more than imagine it. I remember it.”

  We both laughed.

  “Add on all the new technology and distractions, and I’m sure you have to keep things creative,” he added.

  “Indeed. It’s hard to compete with iPhones, Androids, and tablets. And threatening to confiscate them does very little. The kids are not going to leave them at home and when they’re bored in class, the temptation to log on to something can be overwhelming.

  “Are the classrooms here equipped with the latest computerized learning gadgets?”

  “Is that a trick question?” I giggled. “We barely have up-to-date textbooks.”

  “Well, I’d like to donate whatever you need.”

  I was stunned. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, very. It’s the least I can do.”

  “Thank you so much. I can’t believe you’d—”

  That’s when it happened. I felt a sharp pain in the left side of my back as two male students pushed past us on the steps. Next thing I knew, I was losing my footing and falling.

  Mr. Ricci tried to grab me but he couldn’t hold on to my arm.

  I toppled down the flight of steps, hit my head, and passed out as I heard several people yelling out my name and saw Mr. Ricci and Lilibeth running toward me.

  * * *

  I woke up in the hospital under what seemed like ten-thousand-watt light bulbs on the ceiling. As my eyes adjusted, I could feel the IV needle in my arm and was grateful that I wasn’t dead. The bars were raised on the sides of the bed so I wouldn’t topple out and I heard Lilibeth whispering to someone in the distance.

  My mouth was extremely dry and I was sore all over.

  You fell down a flight of fucking steps! I reminded myself.

  The baby!

  My left arm, the one without the IV, instinctively dropped to my stomach. I still had a little pouch there but I panicked. I didn’t feel the baby moving.

  I attempted to speak but nothing came out, so I rattled one of the bed rails to get someone’s attention.

  Lilibeth and a nurse appeared in my range of view within seconds.

  “She’s awake!” Lilibeth exclaimed, and then leaned over me, staring into my eyes. “Jemistry, can you hear me?”

  I nodded and held my hand up to point at my throat.

  The nurse said, “She has cotton mouth. Let me go get her some ice water. I’ll be right back and I’ll alert Dr. Horton that she’s awake.”

  The nurse left the room and I realized that I was at Providence Hospital where Dr. Horton practiced. Thank
goodness the school was in the correct zone for the ambulance and that Lilibeth remembered his name from making my appointments with him over the years, prior to my pregnancy. I had been making the prenatal ones myself over the summer months.

  I had confided in her about my pregnancy the week before. She giggled and said that she had already suspected. Her exact words were: “I know more about your mannerisms and eating habits than you probably know about yourself. You’ve been having me order some interesting food choices for your lunches since school started back up. Plus, you have that glow.”

  Everyone kept talking about the “pregnancy glow.” I couldn’t see it.

  I was quite sure that I was not glowing at the moment. I clamped my eyes shut and said a silent prayer to God not to take my child away from me. Not to take another child away from Tevin.

  “The two students that knocked you down need to be expelled,” Lilibeth said. “That was inexcusable.”

  I shook my head and tried to get the word accident out of my windpipe. It came out as something unrecognizable.

  The nurse returned with a pitcher full of ice water. “Dr. Horton has been paged. He’ll be here in less than five minutes.”

  She poured some water into a plastic cup and then raised the bed so I was sitting up enough to drink. There was an excruciating pain in my lower back.

  Once the water hit the back of my throat, I coughed but it felt like I could function again.

  I cleared my throat. “It was an accident, Lilibeth. Donald and Leon didn’t mean to push me down the stairs. There was a lot going on today and they were simply trying to make it to their next class on time. We should have delayed the fourth-period bell.”

  Lilibeth took a seat in the chair beside the bed. “Leave it to you to try to make excuses for those kids, even today. You’re always looking out for them.”

  “That’s my job. And they’re both good kids. Good grades, honor-roll students. I’m not about to expel them and ruin their chances at making it because of an accident. Accidents happen all the time.”

  I really wanted to ask Lilibeth if they had said anything to her about the baby, but I was too afraid. From the expression on her face, it didn’t appear that they had delivered such distressing news to her. She was not good at hiding her emotions. I knew that from experience.

  The nurse was jotting my vitals down on my chart and had broken out a thermometer to take my temperature. Before she could stick it in, I asked Lilibeth, “Has anyone called Tevin?”

  While the thermometer was in my mouth, she responded, “Yes. I did. He was in surgery but they said that they’d give him the message the second he was done. I asked them to disrupt but—”

  The nurse removed the thermometer in time for me to interrupt her. “No, they can’t bother him while he’s in surgery. It’ll be fine. He’ll be here.”

  Dr. Horton entered the room and smiled at me. I felt a sense of relief. My baby was alive!

  * * *

  Two hours later, Tevin came bolting through the door of my hospital room.

  Before he could even say anything, I assured him, “The baby’s fine.”

  He came over and laid his head on my stomach and embraced me, kissed my stomach, and then moved up and kissed my forehead.

  “It’s okay, baby,” I said, caressing the back of his head. “I fell but everything’s all right.”

  He stood and walked to the end of the bed, grabbed my chart and started flipping through it, his eyes speed-reading the pages. He had yet to say a single word.

  “Dr. Horton said that I was lucky. He’s going to have to monitor things and wants me to start coming in to see him weekly, at least for the next month or so.” His silence was beginning to frighten me. “Tevin, did you hear what I said? Tevin?”

  He looked up from the chart. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment.” He set the chart down. “Everything looks good. They did a sonogram?”

  “Two of them. One when I was still knocked out and another one when I was awake.” I paused to consider whether or not I should elaborate. I decided he needed to know everything. “At first I didn’t feel the baby kicking, but the little sucker is moving around now.”

  “I’ll ask them to see the film.”

  “Yes, you can do that. But there is something you should know before you see it.”

  He came over and took my hand into his. “What? Is something wrong with the baby?”

  “No, he’s fine.”

  “That’s good because . . . He?”

  “Yes, he. Even though we’d decided not to find out, it was kind of obvious this time around. Little Man looks like he’s going to be hung like his father.”

  Tevin chuckled. “You could see his dick?”

  “Oh yeah, couldn’t miss it this time. Congratulations, Tevin Harris, Senior.”

  “We’re going to name him after me?”

  I shrugged. “I assumed that is what you’d want. Don’t you?”

  “I’m not sure. I kind of want him to have his own identity. But then again, it would be great to have my name carry on.”

  I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it. “It’s a great name. He has a lot to live up to. I say we go for it. No point in breaking out baby name books or doing Internet searches when the perfect name already exists for him.”

  Tevin grinned from ear-to-ear. “Did they say how long you have to stay in here?”

  “At least until tomorrow morning. I’m glad that I didn’t break anything. My ankle’s going to be sore for a few days, and my lower back. All in all, I took that flight of steps like a trooper.”

  Tevin frowned, probably envisioning the horrific fall in his mind. “So what exactly happened?”

  “We had a guest speaker today, a former student. I was walking him downstairs from the auditorium and he was telling me that he plans to donate what amounts to a few million dollars’ worth of electronics and software to the school. I must’ve gotten too engrossed in the conversation and I slipped.”

  There was no way that I was going to tell Tevin that two students had accidentally caused my fall. He wouldn’t have seen anything but blood.

  “You have to be more careful, baby,” was all that he said. “I’m just glad that you and the baby are okay.”

  “I know that you were petrified when they told you. I hope you didn’t drive recklessly on the way over here.”

  “Floyd drove me. He’s downstairs parking and calling Courtney to meet him over here.”

  It was my turn to frown. “Great!”

  Tevin sighed. “Please try to be nice to him. It’s not the time.”

  “There’s never a time to call someone on their bullshit. When Courtney gets here, it’s going to take every ounce of self-control that I possess not to say anything. I haven’t spoken to her since you told me that Floyd is a whore.”

  “I haven’t told him that I let that slip. We need to get through this without drama. If you feel like you have to tell Courtney about his dirt, can we at least wait until we get home?”

  “Yeah, you’re right. The day has been long enough already.”

  Tevin wiped his right eye. “I was so scared. I don’t think that I can handle losing another child.”

  “God’s will and mercy shall prevail. Today, He spoke and gave us His blessings.”

  Tevin grinned and kissed me lightly on the lips. “I agree.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  “Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.”

  —Unknown

  I was on medical leave for a few weeks, against my will. I was never one to sit around doing nothing and the boredom was killing me. As much as I was accustomed to watching daytime TV shows that were recorded on my DVR, watching them in real time irritated me for some reason. It meant that I had to sit through the commercials instead of skipping them and, for some reason, I hated that. Even when I was out of school for the summer, I rarely sat around during the day. I played the shows in the evening or late nig
ht when I was falling asleep.

  It was amusing to me that companies were still spending millions to produce commercials and purchase airtime on television shows. A lot of them were never actually watched. Either people skipped over them with their remote, flipped channels during the ads, or had their eyes glued to laptops, cell phones, or tablets, with their attention diverted until the show started back up. Even the online ads that were placed before videos and shows online rarely got any attention. Companies really needed to realize that they had to take to social networking to really get any attention. They had to engage the consumers in contests or do something so different, amusing, or shocking that everyone would share it on their pages or retweet it.

  I did catch up on some reading while I was laid up. I read several novels by Allison Hobbs, Cairo, and William Fredrick Cooper, and a couple of self-help books. The greatest room in anyone’s house is the room for improvement. But the books that I read the most of were parenting books. I definitely needed to know all about that. A mother? Wow! I was at the point in my life that I never thought it would happen for me. A mother and, if all went well, a wife.

  I was still apprehensive about setting a wedding date. I had progressed somewhat by sporting the ring that Tevin had purchased me. I needed to go shopping to purchase him a wedding band at some point. I planned to get him one that matched the color tone of mine. My ankle was still sore so I tried to stay off my feet as much as possible. I was not in the best of shape since I got pregnant. I had not been going to the gym or doing any real form of exercise. I was becoming too lazy and complacent. As soon as I had Tevin Jr., I planned to reclaim my body and become fly all over again.

  I was scanning the Internet one afternoon and ran across a blog written by a man. Rarely did I agree with much that men said about life. It was hard to relate, not being one. But this blog really caught my attention. It was written by a thirty-year-old man who had been with his wife since he was seventeen, and had been married to her for eight years. They had several children and he was under the impression that he might lose her.