Writing A Wrong (Write Stuff #2)

  I started to laugh, but it strained and died before fully developing. His ego might have felt differently if he knew his kiss really did nothing for me. "I am pond scum."

  "Would it make you feel better if I said the kiss was good for me even though you're a little tipsy?" he asked, plucking the thoughts from my head.

  More tears coursed down my cheeks. I shook my head. "Not for me. I'm sorry. I swear I wanted it to feel good. I think that bastard broke me," I sobbed.

  "Ouch," Greg said, clutching his chest. "I was giving you my best stuff there too." He led me away from the door and sat me down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. Here it was my job to take care of the talent, but this one was out of my control," he said, calling me by the nickname he and Olivia had coincidently come up with together. "I'm going to throw some clothes on. Eat this," he said, handing me a candy bar. "I'm guessing you drank on an empty stomach, right?"

  I nodded, accepting the candy.

  He shook his head, exasperated. "Give me a second to change and then we'll talk. Don't go anywhere," he added, closing the bathroom door behind him.

  I stared at the closed door, rubbing my teary eyes until they became blurry. I wanted to leave. Forcing Greg into my melodrama was unfair.

  I stood up on shaky legs, catching my hideous reflection in the mirror. The evidence of pain was etched in every feature on my face. My shoulders slumped from the weight of my despair. I reached a finger toward my reflection, hardly recognizing the person staring back at me.

  Greg opened the bathroom door to intercept me just as I made the decision to leave. "Whoa, where you going?"

  "I shouldn't be here. It's not fair to you," I mumbled.

  "Because I'm shamelessly in love with you and you just left me with blue balls?" he joked.

  "See? Not love. Maybe lust," I muttered. The L-word was now forbidden to me. It was a meaningless term that people tossed around without really meaning it. I remember reading a dystopian novel where the ability to love was removed from people. At the moment it sounded like a keen idea.

  Greg chuckled, leading me away from the door again and into a chair. "You sit there and I'll sit here," he said, sitting on the edge of his bed, where I had just been. "Now talk."

  "I don't want to talk." I wanted to punch myself in the face at how insolent I sounded.

  "Okay then, I'll talk."

  "Now all of a sudden you want to be Dr. Phil? For two weeks you've barely said anything."

  "Blame it on my ego," he said, holding up his hands to surrender. "I'm not used to being shot down so effectively. Usually I'm able to get by on my charm."

  I smiled at the way he wagged his eyebrows. "You didn't need to charm me. It was nice just being friends."

  "You're right. You never showed that you wanted to be any more than friends. Anything beyond that was on me. You can't blame me for trying though, right? I mean, you are extremely attractive. Guys have to notice you wherever you go."

  I sat for a moment, processing the sincerity of his sentiment. He was sweet. Under different circumstances there may have been more between us. I smiled in appreciation until he began to smirk slightly. "Wait a second. You're still trying, you jerk." My mind was still buzzing from my drinks at the bar, but I could tell when I was being hit on.

  He clapped his hands, laughing. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Do you forgive me?" he asked as I slapped his shoulder. "Okay, seriously now. Friends?" He held out his hand, waiting for me to accept it.

  I eyed him warily before sliding my hand on top of his. "Promise? Nothing more?"

  "I swear. You'll be nothing more than a passing phase. I won't even picture you naked anymore."

  "God, you perv," I said, slapping him again as he nearly fell off the bed from laughing. "Is that supposed to be your way of making me feel better?"

  "All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just too much fun messing with you while you're drunk. Speaking of which, when we say friends, are we talking like fuck buddies? 'Cause I'm all in."

  A startled laugh mixed with a snort bubbled out of me. "You're such a pig."

  "At least I got you laughing," he said, giving my hand a squeeze.

  "That you did. You really did," I said, shaking my head. I began to cry as the crushing reason why I had even knocked on his door reared its ugly head again. My phone call to Lily had taken me on an emotional roller coaster and now I was riding the down slope.

  Greg handed me a box of tissues from the nearby table and settled back down on the edge of the bed. "Hey, come on now. I just got you cheered up. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

  I was a snotty mess but couldn't summon enough will to care. Greg waited patiently while I pulled a handful of tissues from the box and blew my nose loudly. After mopping up my face, I was able to collect myself enough to spill the sordid details of Alec's betrayal.

  Greg was an intent listener. A skill he claimed he had perfected from growing up with sisters. He offered a sympathetic ear, reacted when appropriate, and gave me plenty of space to cry it out when my second wave of tears became impossible to hold back.

  We talked long into the night. Eventually, we crawled onto the bed and he continued listening until my voice became rough and my red swollen eyes could no longer produce any more tears. We drifted to sleep, innocently holding hands. He had provided the comfort of friendship I desperately needed.

  I woke up suddenly to complete darkness. My feet were already on the ground and yet, I couldn't remember standing up. I reached out for something to get my bearings—the bed, the nightstand, but nothing came into grasp. I felt trapped under the weight of the vast darkness surrounding me. The only thing teasing my senses was a persistent buzzing that filled my brain. No matter how much I shook my head, the noise wouldn't clear. Something inside me told me to run, but I felt afraid. There was no sense of direction. The buzzing continued. I dropped to my knees, covering my head with my hands. Then I heard a voice. It was muffled but definitely talking to me. My arm began to shake and my heart painfully ached. My hands moved from my head to my chest as the voice became more discernible. It was Greg.

  My eyes sprang open, fluttering as they struggled with the sun shining through the hotel room window. Greg stood over me, but his face was slightly blurred. I rolled over and pulled the pillow over my head, trying to block the light, but Greg yanked it away. "Nicole, you have to wake up."

  I groaned, opening my eyes a crack to focus on his face as he shook my arm.

  "It's Alec," he said, holding out my phone.

  My head spun around as I raised myself to a seating position. I eyed the phone warily. Part of me couldn't believe he had the balls to call me. I couldn't help but wonder how long I'd been a sucker to his lying, cheating ways. I clenched my hands into fists, struggling to resist the urge to throw the phone against the wall.

  "I think you should talk to him," Greg said, practically pressing the phone into my hand. He wasn't going to allow me to hide from this.

  I glared at him before reluctantly taking the phone. He grabbed his wallet and room key and left the room, offering a smile of encouragement on his way out.

  "Hey," I said drearily. Asshole would have been a more appropriate greeting, but that would come after I let him hang himself.

  "Why the fuck is Greg answering your phone at seven o'clock in the morning?"

  I recoiled at his accusatory tone. A film of red blurred my vision. How dare he accuse me? He was out of his ever-loving mind. The sheer craziness of the situation made me laugh manically. "Oh my god," I snapped. "Hey, pot, this is kettle. Guess what? You're black."

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  The confusion in his voice was a nice touch, but I wasn't buying the brand of bullshit he was peddling anymore. "It means you can stop lying, Alec. I know the truth. Do us both a favor and give me the courtesy of owning up to it, and while you're at it, clear all your shit out of my apartment. If that goes beyond your abilities, I'm sure my brothers will be more than willing to help ou
t." It was a veiled threat, but I knew someone of his intelligence would have no trouble figuring it out.

  "Nicole. What the hell are you talking about?"

  I sighed as tears of anger sprang to my eyes, but I furiously swiped them away. "Alec, I called last night." The statement spoke for itself.

  "Okay. And?"

  Oh my god. He was seriously kidding me. Did I have to say it? Was that part of his torturous game? "Lily told me you were in the shower with Candace!" My voice shook with barely suppressed rage. "I can't believe you thought so little of Lily that you told her to watch a movie while the two of you were in the next room fucking your brains out. You couldn't at least wait until your daughter went to bed first?" I was so angry my entire body seemed to be humming.

  "Nicole, you don't understand."

  "I don't understand? Well, you are right about that. I don't understand how I could have fallen for your bullshit and let you string me along." I debated ending the call, thus putting an end to this diabolical relationship. My finger hovered over the end call button on the screen. It would be so easy. One push and this torment would be over.

  "Nicole, please. Just give me a chance to explain," he pleaded.

  I expected some lame, meaningless apology or even a little groveling, but when he laughed I had reached my breaking point. Talk about the ultimate slap in the face.

  "Oh, now it's funny? Goodbye, Alec." I pulled the phone away from my ear, ready to end him for good.

  "Nicole, wait. I was fixing her shower."

  At first I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I held the phone in my hand, staring at the screen.

  "Nicole, honey? Are you still there?"

  "Don't call me honey," I said through gritted teeth.

  "Did you hear what I said? I was fixing her shower."

  "How convenient. Snaked her plumbing is more like it," I said, rolling my eyes so dramatically I was surprised they didn't get stuck.

  He sighed heavily into the phone. "Hold on a sec." He called out for Lily who I could hear running into the room. "Lily, tell Nicole what I was doing in Mommy's shower."

  Seriously? His proof was the same child who had already given away his secret? I wasn't even sure why I continued to play along, but if he wanted to bury himself deeper, so be it.

  "You were hammering it," Lily said.

  "Talk right here, so Nicole can hear you," he said, coaxing her along.

  "But I was playing with my doll."

  "I know, honey. It'll just take a second."

  For a six-year-old, Lily already had dramatic sighs down pat. "Daddy was hammering the water thingy while Mommy held the bucket," Lily said into the receiver.

  My heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings as I digested her words. Lily must have dropped the phone by the sound of it hitting the ground. "Lily, didn't I tell you to be more careful?" Alec chastised her. "Are you still there?" he asked.

  "Yeah," I answered as a new cold reality hit me. I had assumed the worst and basically hung Alec without giving him the benefit of the doubt. The only cheater in our relationship was me. I was the biggest hypocrite on the planet. Check that. I was the human equivalent of a fecal treatment plant.

  "Good. I thought you hung up. Anyway, the pipe burst in Candace's bathroom last night. Her parents are away on vacation, so she called me. I can't say I was much help. As a matter of fact, I most likely caused more damage. We told Lily to watch her movie because she was in the bathroom splashing around like we were at a water park. I'm so sorry, babe. I know how it must have sounded, but you gotta believe me. I'm not a cheater. Never have been. Never will be. It's just not in my DNA."

  The more he talked, the more it felt like a jagged knife was being stabbed in my chest. I was the asshole who jumped into the arms of another guy at the first sign of trouble. My breaths came out in gasps as I struggled over whether to tell Alec the truth.

  "Sweetie, don't cry. I only wish you would have called me back. It would have saved you from tearing yourself up."

  His words only made me cry harder. He was going to hate me when I told him. I was singlehandedly responsible of the destruction of our relationship. I deserved to have the shattered heart.

  He continued on, trying his best to make me feel better, not even realizing I was the one who had betrayed him. He deserved to know. It wouldn't be right any other way. "I kissed Greg," I blurted out.

  "What?"

  "I called and Lily told me you were taking a shower with Candace. I wanted to punish you," I sobbed. "But I'm broken anyway. The kiss did nothing. I ruined everything for a split second that felt like I was kissing my brother." I closed my eyes. There was no end to my shame.

  "You kissed that weasel?"

  I nodded, forgetting that I was on the phone with him. "I did," I said miserably. "I know sorry doesn't change that, and you have every right to be mad. There's nothing you could have said that would have been sufficient when I jumped to false conclusions about you."

  "Did you sleep with him?"

  "No. I mean, not like you think."

  "Not like I think? What exactly is your definition of sleeping with someone that is different from mine?"

  The tone of his voice was sounding more and more livid. "We talked for a long time and he let me cry until I fell asleep. Nothing happened—besides the terrible, awful, broken kiss." I didn't know what I could say that would express how insignificant the kiss was. That I knew immediately I only wanted his lips on mine, not Greg's.

  "I should pound his fucking teeth down his throat for taking advantage of you," Alec growled.

  "It wasn't his fault. I'm the one who kissed him, but we both realized instantly that we could never be more than friends," I admitted.

  "I wouldn't count on that," he growled.

  "Alec, I'm serious. I love you. I was just hurt and confused. Don't end this over a misunderstanding." I was pretty close to losing my shit. I contemplated taking the wimp's way out and hanging up before he could lower the boom. Maybe I deserved to be dumped. An eye for an eye, or in this case, a heart for a heart.

  "I'm not going anywhere—yet, but I need to wrap my brain around this. I need time to think, and right now it's hard with Lily running around."

  "Okay," I whispered. What else could I say? When I thought he had been the cheater, I didn't want to hear any excuses either. All I could do was give him space and hope he realized we were worth another shot.

  "I'll call you when I figure this out," he mumbled.

  "Okay," I answered again. I waited for him to end the call. I didn't have the will to do it myself.

  He did, without saying goodbye. I stared blindly at my phone for a moment before jumping from the bed. The walls of the room felt like they were closing around me. I was standing in the middle of a crime scene. A small shitty-ass hotel room with cheap furniture and stupid-looking paintings hanging on the walls would forever be burned into my mind.

  I snatched up my purse and left, running down the hallway to my room like the hounds of hell were chasing me. My hands shook as I tried inserting the key card into the slot. Red light. I exhaled, trying to steady myself. Red light again. "Come on!" I screamed, kicking the door. Finally on the third try, the door opened and I practically jumped inside. I slammed the door behind me and slumped to the floor, allowing my misery to suck me in.

  Chapter 17

  I spent the entire day in my room, ignoring my phone and a few tentative knocks on my door. Sitting huddled up in a chair, I found myself thankful to be snowed in because it gave me the opportunity to compartmentalize everything. Maybe my tear ducts had dried up or my heart had sucked all my tears into the black hole it currently inhabited, but not another drop left my eyes.

  I stared out the window attempting to come to terms with what my future held. The snow had stopped falling sometime during the night, leaving a clean slate outside. Everything was white and clean with a quiet serenity that gave me a small measure of peace.

  The sun was beginning to set as I shrugged
into my jacket and gloves and crept down the hallway toward the stairs. I exited the building through a service door, feeling the cold air like a slap in the face. I welcomed it, inhaling as much as my lungs would take. My nostrils stuck together with each breath. The cold early evening air was thin with none of the humidity I was used to back home. As I trudged through the deep layer of fresh snow, the tight band constricting my chest began to loosen.

  The snow crunched under my feet as I walked. Turning around, I looked back at my footprints, which reminded of a painting I had seen in the past. My calves were already freezing from the snow that had slipped under my jeans. I probably should have thought to tuck my pants into my boots, but I ignored the cold since I was determined to make it to the lake. I had spotted the wooden dock from my window earlier and was curious if it was cold enough for the water to freeze over. My toes began to tingle as the snow under my pants melted into my boots. I had definitely proven to be a novice when it came to surviving outside in the winter. The branches of the trees that bookended the lake on both sides bowed under the weight of the heavy snow. Every so often I would hear the sound of creaking and snapping as I made my way toward the water.

  I finally made it to the dock that was covered in a foot of snow. Clearing a path with my feet, I shuffled forward until I reached a small wooden bench that sat near the edge of the dock. Using my jacket-covered arm like a windshield wiper, I swept away the snow to clear a spot to sit down.

  I paid no attention to the wet snow that soaked through the seat of my pants. The tranquility of my surroundings seeped the last of my despair away. My heart was an empty vessel. I had no way of knowing what Alec would do, but I had to find a way to shake it off and continue to work. If Greg was right, the roads would be cleared enough to drive tomorrow and we would be pulling out. My readers were not coming out to see me wallowing in gloom. I needed to get my mind right so I could paste a smile on my face and give them what they'd come for.

  The moon was high in the sky by the time I decided I could no longer take the numbness in my feet and butt. I trudged back through the snow, but I was forced to use the main entrance since the service door I'd used previously was locked from the inside.