And Then There Was You

  He sighed and leaned over the railing. 'I do love her, Eve. I stopped loving her for a while, but then I started again. But it's not like you think. It's not like you and me.'

  'You and me?'

  'We have passion, Eve. Mad, passionate love. It's different with Lisa.'

  My heart was literally breaking in my chest. He loved me, but he loved her too. I shook my head. 'I can't take this. I can't.'

  He stood up and grabbed hold of my arms. 'Eve, please. She's dying. She's going todie soon,' he said, tears in his eyes. 'Don't leave me. I need you.'

  'I can't be your back-up wife, Adam,' I said and walked away from him.

  'No,' he yelled. 'It's not like that. Eve, I love you. I've loved you for the past three, four years. Ever since London. Please, don't walk away now.'

  I stopped and turned as he ran towards me.

  'Just before I met you, I thought I was falling back in love with her, but she was with another man then, and she encouraged me to get married. That's when I married Charlie, because I never thought I'd find you. Lisa has always been there for me, Eve. She encouraged me to fight for you.'

  I looked into his eyes, confused. 'You fought for me, but were still in love with her?'

  'No, oh God, this is coming out all wrong. I loved her for so many reasons, and I still do, of course. She's the mother of my children.'

  'Adam, are you in love with her?'

  'I...I...don't know.'

  I stepped backwards. 'Are you in love with me?' I asked, waiting, closing my eyes.

  'Yes,' he said, and I opened them up again. 'I want you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. But please, for the rest of hers, please come back. She needs you, I need you, the kids need you.'

  'The kids?'

  He nodded. 'They might not realise it now, but they do. Please, Eve. Please come home with me.'

  I turned to watch the crashing waves below, letting everything sink in. There was a possibility that he was in love with Lisa, but he was sure he was in love with me. Could I cope with that? Could I live in a house with a dying woman who was also the object of his love? Could I? I sighed and nodded. I had no choice. It wasn't Lisa's fault, and she was dying. I needed to be there for her. As for Adam? Well, that would take time for me to come to terms with. But for now, all that mattered was Lisa.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  'Adam? Adam?' I asked, poking him in the side as I shook my head in distress. 'Wake up. This has got to stop,' I said as he slowly opened his eyes. He was slumped over the kitchen table, an empty bottle of brandy in front of him.

  'Adam? I don't know how much more I can take.'

  'What?' he asked, rubbing his head. 'Oh,' he groaned.

  'Exactly. How long is this going to go on for? Do you really think this is what Lisa wants during her last few days of life? Do you really think she wants you drinking away the days and collapsing every night in a drunken stupor? No, she doesn't. Don't do this to her, Adam. Don't do this to me.'

  'You don't know what you're talking about,' he said, standing up and walking over to the sink where he turned the tap on and splashed his face, before he grabbed the box of painkillers that he'd been keeping on the work surface for the past few weeks.

  'Adam, please. Look at yourself.'

  He looked away from me and left the room. Closing my eyes for a second, I sighed heavily before opening them and throwing the brandy bottle into the recycling bin.

  'Eve,' shouted a tired voice from the hallway.

  'What's up, Clare?' I asked, walking towards her.

  Immediately I knew something was wrong. 'Clare? What is it?'

  Tears rolled down her cheeks and she nodded. 'You need to get Adam. It's time.'

  'No, no, no,' I whispered, rushing back through the kitchen, desperately searching for him. 'Adam, Adam, you need to come quickly. Babe!' I shouted. 'Babe?'

  He appeared by the back door, looking like death. 'What is it?'

  'It's Lisa,' I said, holding out my hand.

  He ignored it, the blood draining from his face, as he rushed passed me and bounded through the house, into her room.

  'Amy, my beautiful girl,' Lisa croaked from the bed in the downstairs room with a perfect view of the sea.

  'Mum,' Amy sobbed as she carefully sat on the bed, holding her mother's weak fingers, careful not to break the skin, skin that had become like tissue paper. It was difficult for the young woman to sit comfortably with the huge bump in front of her.

  'Amy,' Lisa whispered. 'I love you so much, my darling. I wish I could have met your baby.' She stopped and sobbed. 'You're going to make the most amazing mother. And so is Clare,' she smiled. 'My girls. Clare?' she said a little louder.

  Clare stepped forward, tears pouring down her face.

  'Look after each other. You're my girls. Be kind to one another, stay in love forever and ever.'

  Clare nodded, squeezing Amy's shoulder.

  'Mum?' said Amy. 'We're going to call her Lisa, our baby. Lisa.'

  Lisa smiled, her eyes welling up even more. 'That makes me so very happy, my darling. Thank you. I'm sorry we'll just miss meeting each other but I'll be here, watching over you, I promise. Jack?'

  The girls stood up, Amy leaning over to kiss her mother, before moving away so Jack could step forward and sit down.

  'Mum?' he said. 'I wish you'd have fought more, you know?'

  Lisa nodded, whispering ever so slowly, 'I know, honey. I know. But it's my time. I know that. I knew it all along. You be strong, okay? Find a lovely woman to love. You deserve all the love in the world, my darling. I love you so much. Be strong, be brave and be happy, Jack. I'll always be here,' she tried to lift her hand but failed. 'In your heart.' She coughed.

  'Mum, I love you. I'll miss you so much,' he sobbed, letting his head drop to her side.

  'I know, but I'll be here, always. Adam?'

  Jack slowly stood up, wiping away his tears as his father cleared his throat and walked towards the woman who had borne his children over twenty years ago.

  'Honey?' Lisa whispered. 'Thank you for bringing joy to my life. I always loved you, you know that, right?' she croaked and he nodded, wiping the tears roughly from his cheeks.

  'I want you to be happier than you've ever been, you hear me?' she smiled. 'That woman,' she lifted her finger just slightly and pointed to me. 'Evie, she's your soul mate. Did you know that? I knew all along.' Her voice became weaker. 'Be happy. Be good together. She loves you so much. Be happy together forever.'

  Adam didn't even look at me, he just wiped his eyes and leaned forward to kiss her hollow cheek.

  'Kids,' she whispered. They all stepped forward. 'Be understanding. Your father and Evie, they are perfect for each other. I want you to both accept it for what it is. True love.'

  Amy let out a deep cry and Jack sobbed.

  'Evie, my friend. Thank you,' was all she said before she closed her eyes.

  The nurse stepped forward. 'I'm sorry, she doesn't have long left now.'

  'Mum,' they cried, rushing to her side and kneeling on the floor.

  There they sat for half an hour, nobody saying a thing. We just watched as the life slowly left her, her breathing finally ceasing.

  'Mum, don't go. Don't leave us,' Amy sobbed.

  Jack put his arm across her shoulder. 'She's gone, Amy. She's gone. '

  A deep guttural groan echoed throughout the room and Amy gasped. 'Oh God, the baby. The baby. She's coming. She's coming now.'

  'Oh shit,' said Adam, as I rushed toward her and helped her up.

  'Hospital. We need to get to the hospital now,' I said.

  'No,' Amy said searching my face and then looking back at her mother who was now, finally, at peace. 'Here, I want to have the baby here. I need to. I know it sounds crazy, but I need to have this baby right now, in this house.'

  Lisa's nurse did everything possible while we waited for a midwife to come from the local hospital.

  Baby Lisa was born just a couple of hours after her g
randmother passed away. Once I knew Amy and the baby were okay, I left.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  The second I had arrived at the airport, I had scanned the departures leaving that day and booked the first flight that appealed to me. Canada.

  I'd flown into Calgary, hired a car with GPS and then driven straight to Banff, where I'd managed to book an apartment online while at the airport. En-route I had to buy a park pass, which I hadn't been expecting but the idea of staying in a Canadian National Park just made me smile. Matt would have hated it. He was all about holidays in the sun where the weather was as warm as it could possibly be. I had tolerated it because I'd wanted Matt to be happy. If I wanted to make myself happy, then this was where I would have come.

  Adam, on the other hand; I didn't have a clue. He'd let me in for such a short time, and then he'd pushed me away. I felt like I'd lost him all over again. I'd lost him even before I'd lost Lisa. He'd assured me I was the one he wanted, but then he'd hit the bottle and completely shut me out. A couple of tears fell down my cheeks and I sniffed loudly, wiping them away.

  I had to try and forget him, regardless of what Lisa had said before she died. It was clear that he was too hung up on his ex-wife, even now that she'd gone; all he wanted to do was drown his sorrows. We were over, and I had to accept that. That's why I'd run away, again. I needed to be completed alone. To find myself. To really find myself, this time.

  Pulling up outside what appeared to my little apartment block, I found a spot to park my big Canadian car and then headed up the stairs, where I was greeted by a lovely lady who handed me the key and told me everything I needed to know.

  Afterwards, I dropped my luggage on the sofa, walking through to look at the tiny kitchen. It was perfect for me. Through the kitchen was a bedroom with another window that looked out onto a pretty little courtyard. A simple yet fully functional bathroom was located next door.

  I flopped onto the bed and closed my eyes, sighing. I was so lost and I was hoping running away would help me find myself again. Tears poured down my cheeks and I spent the rest of the evening crying.

  Once I'd run out of tears, I decided enough was enough, so the next day I explored the town, making small talk with the locals, finding out the best places to visit. On the top of my list was a trip in the Banff gondola, which would take me to the top of the world, apparently.

  The leaflets and the locals weren't wrong. It was perhaps the most beautiful scenery I had ever had the pleasure of witnessing. The Rockies were spectacular, and to see them from a glass box so high up was simply awe-inspiring.

  At the top, I walked for a little while, having a coffee in the nearby Starbucks before heading back down to town so I could chill out for an hour before dinner.

  oOo

  I stood leaning at the entrance to the wooden cabin, a hot cup of coffee in my hands as I surveyed my home for the next couple of days. It was staggering. Apparently there was a waterfall located not far away, and I planned to hike down to find it after breakfast. I could take my time. After all, it was just me. I smiled, remembering the past few days; I'd seen a lot of Banff and the surrounding areas, taking a dip in the hot springs being one of my favourite few hours, whiling away the time as if I had so much of it – which I did! I had nothing to go back to. I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it, and that alone made me smile.

  Waving to the people who were staying in the cabin next door, I pushed the door to and went to put my coffee cup in the sink before getting ready.

  Ten minutes later, I had my sturdy shoes on, the ones I'd bought a couple of days into my trip for all the walking I intended to do, and was ready to go. With a map in my little backpack, just in case, I followed the signs for the waterfall, walking among the most enormous trees, down along some steep rocks before I found some steps to follow. I heard the water before I finally came upon it, and when I did, it took my breath away. It wasn't particularly huge or anything, but it was the colour of the water that struck me. It was the most beautiful shade of light blue. Magical. Truly magical.

  All of a sudden, my imagination began to run wild and I grinned, looking around me. I took a few photos and then took the bag off my back, searching for the notebook and pen I'd brought with me. I found a spot to sit down and proceeded to make notes of everything in my head. Mermaids, monsters, creatures of the dark. They all invaded my space for about an hour until I'd written as much as I could possibly write in that little book.

  Ecstatic, I knew I had the bones for a brand new series and I couldn't wait to see more of this beautiful country. This was going to be the beginning of something seriously exciting.

  The next day I drove into Jasper. It made me chuckle because I couldn't help but think of the character from Twilight. Sad really; but hey, that's me. I chuckled again as I parked the car and went off to have a wander. I found some really cool shops, full of beautiful local crafts and Canadian-made jewellery. I bought a few postcards and watched people go by as I sat with a hot chocolate and a slice of cake, before heading back to the car. I spent the rest of the day hiking through various beauty spots in the vicinity. Even though I was alone, not once did I feel lonely. It was perhaps the best, yet saddest, time of my life.

  oOo

  The next few days were spent driving across Alberta, stopping overnight a couple of times, before heading through British Columbia and stopping in the beautiful holiday resort of Whistler, where I spent two nights. I remembered watching some of the winter Olympics there on TV a while back and thought how lovely it looked. I was right, of course. The town had a real buzz to it. There was so much to do – hiking, biking, skiing (although that wasn't possible at that time of year), shopping, eating and so on. It was full of young and old, all enjoying the beautiful blue skies and the crisp air.

  Leaving it behind, I headed across to Vancouver Island, where I eventually found the little town of Tofino. I think I might have left a little bit of my heart there, actually. Famous for its huge white sandy beaches, much of them covered in the most enormous pieces of driftwood, it was easy to understand why it was so popular with surfers. In fact the town seemed to be so full of them, it was hard to spot anyone else!

  My house for a few nights was right on the beach. It was stunning. On two levels, the open plan kitchen, dining room and lounge were on the ground floor, but my favourite part was upstairs. A grand bedroom with a couple of steps upwards led to a large sunken bath with a view out to the beach. It was absolute heaven. My first night was spent drinking wine in the bath. It was the first time my mind drifted...

  The feeling of dancing in the rain, being completely at ease with each other, doing whatever the mood drove us to. Dancing in the rain. I sighed, took a long swig of the wine, letting it slowly slide down my throat, my muscles relaxed as it hit the spot and I closed my eyes again.

  Flashes of his hands, the way they cupped my bum as he pulled me towards him in the pool. His face as he dropped his head backwards with laughter, his body drenched in rain as he danced to Singin' in the Rain, his fingers deftly wrapping my foot in a bandage as we sat on the chaise-longue, his tongue on my skin, my inner thighs, his romantic proposal in the storm, his kiss...

  I woke with a start, dropping the wine into the bath.

  'Shit,' I said as I wobbled, grabbing the now empty glass and placing it on the side of the bath. It was only then that I realised I'd been crying.

  Looking out of the window and wiping my eyes, I noticed it was raining, just a gentle pitter-patter against the window. Turning the hot tap back on, I felt the warmth drift up from my feet, knees, thighs, between my legs and I sighed. It felt good, that warmth. I wanted more. I wanted to feel like a woman again; like a sexual woman. I groaned at the thought and placed my fingers between my legs, slowly sliding them up and down, making my mouth open as I imagined being kissed again. I slid further down the bath and arched my back, caressing my breasts, before sliding my finger firmly inside myself, careful to let my palm rub against my clitori
s. Increasing both pressure and speed, I felt my body respond and soon, I let out a little groan as I came. Guilt flooded me.

  Why feel guilty for pleasuring yourself?said the devil.You're your own woman. You're single. It's your body and if it feels good, then great! Don't feel guilty, she said and I smiled. I was beginning to think the devil and the angel were one and the same.

  Sitting in the water, I slumped forward and looked down at my watch. Twenty past eight. My stomach grumbled as if on cue. Unplugging the bath, I sat for a moment, letting the water flood down the hole, before I stood up and grabbed a towel. I dried myself off and put on the fluffy white dressing gown provided by the owners of the rental property, then padded down the stairs into the kitchen.

  Half an hour later, I sat at the dining table with a bowl of tomato pasta and another glass of white wine in front of me. I was just about to tuck in when I heard a noise outside.

  I froze, waiting. I'd read all about bears living in Canada, and I certainly didn't want to encounter one. When nothing else happened, I twirled the spaghetti round the fork and began to eat dinner. Just two minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

  Strange.

  Pulling the gown tight against my body, I unlocked and opened the door.

  'Adam,' I gasped, leaning against the frame for support.

  'Hi, Eve,' he replied, looking utterly exhausted and drenched through.

  'What are you doing here? How did you know where to come? What...' but before I continued, I sighed. 'Mum?'

  He nodded. 'Can I come in?'

  I held the door open and stepped aside in absolute shock. He took off his coat, not really knowing what to do with it, sopping wet as it was. Because I did nothing, he opened the front door again and just hung it on the door handle before shutting it.

  He shivered.

  'Oh God, you're wet through,' I said, pulling myself together. 'I'll get you a towel.' I left him standing in the kitchen and slowly walked up the stairs to the bedroom.

  Once inside I shut the door and sat on the bed, taking deep breaths. I actually pinched myself; I couldn't quite believe he had travelled halfway across the world to find me. But why now? If I was what he truly wanted, why hadn't he reached out to me before? I was pulled from feeling angry to a deep sense of relief and happiness. But I let the anger win over and I stood up, grabbing a towel before rushing back downstairs.