Push and Shove

  My teeth grazed against his skin and I bit down.

  Gabriel’s legs trembled next to mine. He started leaning forward, catching his hands on the counter behind me to hold himself up. When I released him, he bent his neck until he was resting his forehead on my shoulder. “Fuck me, what the hell was that?” he breathed against me.

  “Did I hurt you?” I whispered.

  Gabriel picked his head up, his forehead meeting mine. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

  I breathed out slowly, not finding words, as his crystal eyes locked with mine. I was letting him into something so intimate, a secret. I was thrilled to share with him, but at the same time worried North didn’t want this part revealed. I knew he wanted this to be special with us, but I hoped that in proving to Gabriel it didn’t hurt, if anyone ever asked about it, he could vouch for us.

  If I were honest, I really did like the biting and liked sharing it with him. I cared about him and wanted to make him happy.

  He backed up, touching the spot on the neck where I’d bit him. “North can’t keep that to himself. That’s too cruel.”

  “So it wasn’t bad?”

  “Bad? Shit, I want you to do it again.”

  ‘I don’t know if I should,” I said. Maybe I’d gone too far. Gabriel would end up with bite marks, too.

  Gabriel groaned. “Don’t tell me that.” His hands found my shoulders and he started massaging. “You can’t show me that and then hold back from me.”

  “But... we should find our thing,” I said, hoping this would satisfy him.

  “Hmm, you’re right,” he said. He brushed back a lock of my hair, trying to hook it behind my ear but the strands fell against my cheek again. He tilted his head as he glanced down at me. Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Holy shit, you kissed my neck.”

  I blinked at him. “Yeah.”

  He started to grin. He turned me, pushing me to the wall. My eyes widened as he dipped his head down, his lips finding my neck right next to my ear. His lips parted, and he kissed, hard and heavy against my skin.

  “Gabriel,” I gasped. My hands found his chest, clutching. He’d moved so fast.

  Gabriel grunted. His hands found my thighs close to my butt. He lifted me slightly, using force against the wall to hold me up higher. He drew a hand up again toward my neck, guiding me to expose more to him. When I was where he wanted me, he returned to holding me up.

  His lips were rough. While he wasn’t biting me, he was crushing his mouth onto my neck. He sucked my skin into his mouth, releasing it quickly to move his mouth over slightly and then suck a new part in between his lips.

  I grasped at him, hanging on. I couldn’t think. I was pretty sure I wasn’t breathing. It didn’t give the tingling explosions all over my skin like the biting, but it was a different feeling altogether. It made me want to melt into the floor.

  “Trouble,” he breathed against my skin. “Tell me to stop.” He nuzzled at my ear, his lips kissing the lobe. “Tell me you don’t like it. Say you hate it. Make me stop.”

  Was this something he wasn’t supposed to be doing? The pit of guilt swelled inside of me, wondering if he’d get into trouble with the Academy. “Gabriel...”

  “Sang.” His lips traced against the soft skin behind my ear, and he suckled at it. “Tell me you want me to stop.”

  I muffled a moan against his shoulder. “I want you to stop,” I breathed out.

  “Christ, even your lies are beautiful.” His teeth grazed at my earlobe and he nipped at it before taking it into his mouth to suck.

  There was a familiar thudding on the stairs and I gasped, pushing at Gabriel. He stopped, releasing me and backing away, his eyes wide. He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. His chest rose and fell as if he’d been running.

  I covered my neck with my hands, my eyes begging him to help me. I didn’t want Nathan to see my neck. I wasn’t sure he’d be as understanding as Gabriel. And North had wanted this to stay a secret.

  Gabriel lunged for the door, hitting the lock. He started shoving open drawers, searching. I think he was trying to make noises like we were busy.

  A knock rattled the door in the frame. “Gabe,” Nathan called. “I got them.”

  Gabriel groaned. He straightened, motioned for me to stand behind the door. He opened it, sticking his head out.

  “Give me her shit,” Gabriel said. “And go get my bag. It’s next to the bed.”

  “What are you doing to her in there?” Nathan asked.

  “I was doing her hair.”

  “With your shirt off?”

  “It’s complicated. Just get my bag.”

  DANCING

  It was another twenty minutes before Gabriel managed to layer the concealer he’d had in his bags and ensure my neck was covered properly with makeup. “I hate this shit,” he said while he was applying a little touch up. “It tastes gross.”

  “You’re not supposed to eat it, I don’t think,” I said.

  “If you put it on your damn face, and I try kissing you, it’ll be nasty.”

  “Is that why you don’t like girls wearing makeup? So you can kiss them?”

  He popped me on the thigh with his palm. “Shut up or I’ll kiss you in the courtyard at school in front of everyone.” He dropped the makeup into the drawer. “Hang on to that stuff. You’ll probably need it.”

  Gabriel had me wear one of the shorter black skirts, with a black V-neck shirt that had a white heart in the center. He had Nathan wear dark jeans with a maroon collared shirt, the sleeves rolled up his forearms. The shirt was open, revealing the white tank shirt underneath that showed off his muscles. Gabriel wore dark blue jeans, and a white fitted collared shirt with an orange tie. The material of the shirt was light, breezy. He’d rolled up the sleeves, too.

  “How come we’re all wearing white?” Nathan said.

  “You’ll see,” Gabriel said. He combed his blond locks out, letting them hang around his eyes, while brushing back the russet brown. He took out the crystals in his ears, replacing them with orange ones. He left the three black rings in.

  I was starting to feel nervous. I didn’t know what a dance club was like, and after the party, I wasn’t sure I was ready for that type of thing. I swallowed back my fears because Gabriel looked excited and I didn’t want to disappoint him.

  At seven, a car horn blared outside. I checked outside my bedroom window. Luke had rolled in with a black SUV. It was different than the one I’d seen before. The shape was different, too. They got a new one?

  I ran downstairs to meet him at the garage door. Luke had his hair twisted back into one of my clips, and wore a white collared shirt, half unbuttoned with no shirt underneath, and jeans, the usual when he wasn’t working or at school. He beamed at me, his dark eyes lighting up. “Sorry I’m late,” he said.

  “Late?” I asked.

  “I wanted to get here earlier, but North came in late and I had to go shower and take care of some things.”

  I tilted my head. “He left here a little after ten.”

  Luke’s eyebrows shot up. “He didn’t get to the diner until after five.” He shrugged. “Maybe he wanted to avoid Kota.”

  “He was tired. Maybe he took a nap.”

  “Maybe.” He grinned, caught me by the waist, and spun me up off the floor, pecking at my cheek. “Are we ready?”

  “We’re ready,” Gabriel said, coming down the back stairs and heading outside. Nathan followed. “Although we’re early.”

  “We’ll take the long way,” Luke said.

  “Shouldn’t someone stay here?” Nathan asked. “Just in case Marie tries something while we’re gone?”

  “Are you going to stay?” Gabriel asked. “Because we’re leaving.”

  Nathan glanced at me, his eyes doing a once over across my clothes and he sighed. “No, I’ll go.”

  I brightened, reaching for his hand. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s go... um... whatever we’re doing.” I knew it was a dance club, but was that all th
ere was to it? I’d also heard the term ‘clubbing’ before. I didn’t know what that was. Was it the same thing?

  The guys laughed and never answered. I brushed it off. At least they thought it was funny.

  Nathan checked the front of the house. “Mr. Morris is still watching us.”

  “I thought he would have left when Kota did,” Gabriel said. He stepped up beside Nathan, gazing out at him. “Well, who cares, right? We’re going to a club. And it’s legal. So if he wants to follow, we’ll give Kota a break.”

  There was a discussion as to who would drive, but it ended up with Luke driving, Nathan riding shotgun and Gabriel and I climbed into the back.

  “Now this isn’t fair,” Nathan said. “How come Gabriel gets to sit with Sang?”

  Luke threw the SUV into reverse to pull out of the driveway. “If you want it that bad, fight him for it.”

  “Hey now,” Gabriel said. “This is a new shirt. I don’t want blood on it.”

  Luke laughed, shaking his head. He reached for the radio, finding a rock station and turning up the volume. “You guys just behave so we can make it there in one piece. And no blood in North’s car; he’d kill me.”

  The streetlights were starting to glow as we drove around Sunnyvale Court. I checked behind us, and Mr. Morris followed. I hoped the boys were right and this was okay. I was embarrassed that we were being followed, like having your teacher follow you home and you could possibly get detention or worse if you misbehaved.

  I looked out the window at the sun setting and the houses passing by. I tapped my fingers nervously across my knee, wondering what this club was like.

  A hand cupped my fingers, pushing them against my knee.

  I turned in the seat, and Gabriel slipped an arm around my shoulders, tugging me closer. His smile was gentle. His crystal eyes nearly glowed. “Come here,” he said.

  I didn’t understand what he meant. I was sitting right next to him. I turned a little more, unsure where he wanted me.

  His arm hooked under my knees and he put my legs over his. He kept a palm on my outer thigh, sliding it back and forth along my skin. He leaned in, breathing in the soft sweet musk he’d dabbed on my neck earlier. His eyes rolled as he pulled back a little. “Yeah, that’s so you,” he said.

  “Hey,” Nathan said. “No making out in the back seat.”

  “You’d do it if you were back here.”

  Nathan grumbled something.

  Luke tapped at the steering wheel to the beat of the music. “He’s just playing with her,” he said to Nathan. “If you want, sit in the back on the way home later.”

  “You hear that,” Nathan said. “I get her on the way back.”

  “Fine,” Gabriel said. He leaned over, hovering above me. His smile was a little more devilish now.

  “Don’t make me come back there and sit between you now,” Nathan said.

  “I’m just talking to her,” Gabriel said. “Sheesh.” He held my chin and turned my head. His lips found my ear. “Hi Trouble,” he whispered.

  “Hi Meanie,” I said, glancing at Luke, but he was busy watching the road. From my angle, I couldn’t see much of Nathan except the back of his head.

  He kissed my ear. “Going to dance with me tonight?”

  “If you want me to.”

  He pulled back, humming a few bars of the rock song playing on the radio. “How in the world did our fucked up group end up with someone like you?”

  “Bad luck?”

  Gabriel laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t be harsh on yourself. If you want another compliment, just tell me.”

  I didn’t have a reply for that. My hands drifted out to his tie, feeling the smooth silk. I wanted a distraction. Being alone and having one of them kissing my cheek was different. Doing it so openly in front of the others made me anxious. Nathan was already being protective and threatening Gabriel with changing places.

  As we made it to the highway heading into Charleston, the sun settled and the car got dark. Gabriel inched closer. He nuzzled my ear, occasionally catching the lobe between his lips and kissing at it. He whisper-sang the music softly against my skin.

  I mostly held my breath. I rubbed my fingers against his tie, unsure of what to do with my hands. His kept rubbing my shoulder, massaging and tugging me close, or rubbing my thigh in a gentle motion.

  After about ten minutes, Gabriel grunted. “What’s wrong with you, Sang?” he asked.

  I blinked at him. “Huh?”

  “I’ve been trying to be sweet on you since we left the house, and you’re about as stiff as when I first met you. What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, confused. “I don’t know.”

  “Don’t like your clothes?”

  “I love the clothes.”

  He smiled. “Is it my horrible singing?”

  My mouth popped open. “I love your singing.”

  His smile lit up into his eyes. “Is it my dastardly good looks?”

  I bit my lower lip to prevent my grin from getting too big. “Gabriel...”

  “Kiss me or bite me or something so I don’t feel like I’m just molesting the shit out of you.”

  I blushed. Was that what he wanted?

  “Here,” he said, and he turned his head, pointing to his cheek. “Plant me one.”

  “Stop telling her to kiss you,” Nathan said.

  “She’s already done it, so shut up.”

  Nathan turned in his seat, looking back at me. His blue eyes were serious. “Sang, did he make you kiss him?”

  I drew a finger to my lip but shook my head. Make me? Why were they all so worried about it? Didn’t they think if I didn’t want to, that I’d fight it or something? Was he trying to say this was against Academy rules and that we shouldn’t?

  “It’s not even a real kiss,” Gabriel said. “It’s a cheek kiss. That’s something you do to your sister or something. It doesn’t even count.”

  Luke laughed. “She’s not your sister, and I don’t think that was her cheek you were just kissing back there.”

  “He was kissing on her?” Nathan said in a louder tone. He unbuckled his seatbelt. “That’s it. Move over, Sang. I’m coming back there.”

  “Sit your ass down,” Gabriel said. “We’re almost there.”

  Luke soon turned into the parking lot of a darkly painted brick building. The little shrubs that surrounded it were wildly outgrown. The lot was only half full. The front doors were lit up with neon lights in an outline and there was a neon sign with cursive lettering but a couple of the bulbs were burnt out. I couldn’t make out what the name of the place was.

  Gabriel got out, holding out a hand to help me out of the car. When I was standing beside him, he hooked his fingers into the hem of my skirt, lowering it on my waist. He smoothed out the material around my hips and down my thighs. He brushed his fingers through my hair once. “Perfect,” he said.

  Nathan climbed out, snagged my hand and tugged me away from Gabriel and toward the doors. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Gabriel and Luke laughed behind us. “I think he’s more excited to be out with her than we are,” Luke said.

  I wanted to comment, but as we approached the dance club, I became distracted. The place didn’t have any windows. It looked more like it was closed, and if it wasn’t for the cars in the parking lot and the neon lights being on, I would have suspected it was. There was no way to tell what was inside.

  Gabriel and Luke caught up with us. Nathan held my hand while Gabriel hooked an arm around my shoulder. Luke held open one of the doors and we wedged ourselves through.

  The inside lobby had a single light shining down on us, with black painted walls. Music met us the instant the doors were open. The floor vibrated at our feet with bass notes penetrating through the building. Two burly men in yellow security T-shirts stood by a second pair of doors.

  One of the security guys held up a hand, and he picked up a scanner device sitting on a low table nearby. He pointed at Nathan. “Step forward,??
? he asked.

  Nathan released me, marching forward. The security guy swept his hand over Nathan’s chest and sides, feeling him as he swept the wand over everything. “Okay, you go through.” The guy snapped his fingers at me and then curled them, encouraging me forward. “You’re next.”

  I glanced at the others, but they were watching, expectant. Nathan stood by the opposite doors, waiting.

  I let my finger hover over my lip as I moved up. The security guy did the same thing, sweeping the wand over my body, following with his hands touching my sides and my hips. When his hands slid up to just under my breasts, my eyes went wide, and I panicked. He did it quickly, sliding down and as blank-faced as possible. Was he supposed to do that?

  Nathan caught my eyes. He gave a simple nod, silently telling me this was normal.

  The security guy slid his hand down the other side of my body and then stopped, looking disinterested. He jerked his head toward the doors. “You can go in,” he said.

  I slowly stepped forward. Nathan caught me around the waist, drawing me in so he could whisper in my ear. “They have to check for weapons,” he said. “They do that to everyone. Just wait until we have to fly somewhere. TSA gets really touchy.”

  “We’ll fly somewhere?” I asked. The idea hadn’t occurred to me before. I’d never been on a plane.

  Nathan beamed. “One day, Peanut, we’ll go somewhere. I promise. Stick with us. We’ve got a lot to see.”

  After Luke and Gabriel had been searched, they walked ahead of us and led the way through the second double doors.

  The inside of the club was a vivid contrast to the entry. Bright, flashing lights dazzled my senses. It became difficult to adjust, and to see too far ahead. The music thumped so loud that my first instinct was to cover my ears. The music was techno, with heavy, fast beats that blended in together until it felt like the whole room pulsed.

  I leaned into Nathan, afraid to move. I sensed people. A lot of them. When I wasn’t getting a light shining on my face, I could see bodies moving. Nerves shook inside me, my throat seized and my tongue glued to the top of my mouth. I wasn’t sure I would like dance clubs.