Beat of the Heart

  “I will.” When a triumphant look flashed on his face, I shook my head. “But only for a scrub down. I’m not sneaking into Jake and Abby’s late for everyone to rag us about going at each other like rabbits.”

  He chuckled. “Whatever.” He threw back the sheet and padded into the bathroom. As I eased into one of the robes from the bathroom, I heard the water turn on in the shower. I was halfway down the ladder when the doorknob on the front door rattled. It was probably Abby coming to make sure we were up and coming to lunch. I landed on the main floor just as the door blew open.

  “Hey baby, I’m here,” a dark-haired girl called. When her gaze met mine, I’m sure we were both wearing the same wide-eyed, open mouthed expressions of shock. In one hand, she held an overnight bag and then a key in the other. Realization of who she was crashed so hard over my head that I shuddered and drew my arms around me to stop my shaking. It was the same girl from last night—AJ’s ex-girlfriend, Kylie.

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

  She pursed her glossed lips before replying, “I came to see AJ.”

  I felt my fingernails sharpening like claws at my side. “He’s in the shower and not accepting visitors at the moment.”

  “Oh.” She shifted on her feet. “This is kinda awkward.”

  “It wouldn’t be if you left,” I snapped. Internally I was doing a little victory dance for keeping my Sicilian strength and standing up the bitch. I hadn’t been able to do the same thing with Erin—my ex-friend who cheated with Dev. I had been too emotionally crippled to ever confront her.

  Her eyes widened at me. “Look, I didn’t know he was with anyone. He certainly didn’t tell me that last night—just that it wasn’t a good time to talk. So I figured I would come up here to see him.”

  My heart clenched in my chest, and I found it hard to breathe. Why wouldn’t AJ have told her he was with me? He had invited me to Eastman’s as his date…he’d even chased after me when I tried to leave. He should have shot her down completely—not let her think there was some window of opportunity. Shaking my head, I replied, “Well, obviously he should have told you he was with me. Just like he is now.”

  Although she seemed to cower back a little, the look that flashed in Kylie’s eyes told me she wasn’t backing down completely. “Fine. I can see now is not a good time. I’ll check in with AJ later.” She waved the key in front of my face. “I know where to find him—I always do.”

  “Whatever.”

  Grabbing her suitcase, she then headed out the door, slamming it on her way out. “Bitch,” I hissed under my breath. But with Kylie gone, my bravado suddenly depleted, and I was left shaking in the middle of the living room. My knees buckled and almost sunk onto the floor. “No, no, no,” I murmured. This couldn’t be happening to me—not again, not after all I’d been through. AJ couldn’t be playing me…playing me and Kylie. Was he doing both of us at the same time? Leaving me and going to her or spending time with her when he wasn’t with me? Was everything he’d said and done just a lie to keep me in his bed?

  Just the thought of how things had changed between us yesterday sent bile rising in my throat. On trembling legs, I streaked over to the kitchen and heaved into the kitchen sink. Turning on the water, I numbly watched the puke go down the drain. The irony wasn’t lost on me that my relationship, or what I thought I’d had with AJ, had just done the same thing symbolically.

  After I swiped my hand across my mouth, I turned around to lean back against the sink. He was so smooth and used to having his way with all the ladies he wanted. Why would he want to get serious so soon with someone he barely knew? Especially with someone like me—my insecurities, my abuse, my fear of his cheating. My stomach churned again at the prospect, and I knew I needed to confront him. I had to hear the truth from his own lips.

  A strange electricity rocketed through me when I took the first rung on the ladder. Anger replaced my hurt. What the hell had I been thinking that he was any different? That he could truly love me just for me. Dammit, in the end, he was just like Jason and Dev and all the other bastard men out there. He’d claimed he wasn’t trying to play me for a little while.

  Once I reached the top of the ladder, I was shaking out of rage, not fear. On my way to the bathroom, I spied the handcuffs on the bed. I snatched them up before stalking into the bathroom. Steam enveloped me, and it took me a moment to make out AJ’s naked back and ass through the glass door.

  He glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “Come on in, amorcito mio. The water is just right to warm you up—in more ways than one.”

  Fucking Bastard, I screamed in my mind. Twirling the handcuffs on my finger, I leaned back against the door frame. “So you were serious when you said you hadn’t brought girls to Jake’s house before?”

  “That’s right. Jake wouldn’t allow it. Besides you’re special, and I meant it.” My heart shattered a little more at his words, but I kept my up with my wrath induced veneer. With a sexy grin, AJ crooked his finger at me. “Now get your sexy S&M ass in here with those handcuffs. I know you said we don’t have a lot of time, but I guarantee I can make you come so hard you’ll scream in under two minutes. Then, you can see how fast I can come. We’ll make it a little game.”

  I stepped to the edge of the shower, flicking open the handcuffs. AJ opened the door for me. “So you like playing games, do you?”

  “Oh hell, yes.”

  Reaching forward, I grasped his wet hand in mine. “You seem to play a pretty good game when it comes to ladies’ hearts.”

  “I hope to have stolen yours,” he said, with a wink.

  The click of the handcuffs closing on AJ’s wrist echoed through the shower stall. “No, but I’m pretty sure you broke it.”

  AJ’s dark brows furrowed. “Mia, what’s wrong?”

  “You lied to me,” I whispered.

  “What are—”

  “You just said that you never brought women here.”

  “I know. It’s the truth.”

  “Hmm, that’s funny because that ex of yours, the one who was all hugged up with you last night, just showed up to fuck you. Either she has your dick on GPS, or she knew to come here because you invited her.” I gave him a rueful smile. “I guess juggling all your booty calls got a little confusing, huh?”

  AJ’s tanned features paled. He held up his free hand. “Mia, wait, I can explain—”

  I shook my head furiously back and forth. “How could you do this to me? I let you in after swearing I wouldn’t. I let you see the hell I’d been through…” My voice choked off. Dammit, I did not want to cry in front of him. “The hell I’m still in, and then you betray me like this?”

  “I swear to God, Mia, I didn’t know Kylie was coming.”

  “She had a fucking key, AJ!” I screamed.

  “That’s because she’s Lily’s sister. I didn’t give it to her, I swear. She must’ve talked to Lily and realized that the guys and I were up here.”

  “Lily would have told her I was with you.”

  AJ grunted in frustration. “Maybe she just heard that the guys were all up here and decided to come. I don’t know the fucking particulars, Mia. Go up and ask Lily yourself. What I do know is I sure as hell didn’t invite her.”

  “So what, she just happened to waltz into Jake’s house and steal a key?”

  “She wouldn’t have to. She’s been up here with Lily and the kids before. She’d know where he hid it.”

  “You’re a fucking liar!” I hissed, before clamping down the other cuff onto the shower head.

  AJ’s eyes widened before he jerked his hand back and forth. “Mia, what the fuck are you doing?” When I didn’t respond, he cried, “You can’t leave me like this!”

  “Oh, I’m sure you won’t have to wait long. If it’s not Kylie, then some other scheduled piece of ass will show up soon, and you’ll be out in a jiffy.”

  “Please don’t do this. I’m telling you the truth.”

  Grabbing my makeup bag, I swept all my
stuff off the counter and into the bag. Ignoring his constant pleading to uncuff him, my eyes swept around the bathroom to make sure I wasn’t leaving anything. When I started out the door, his words froze me. “Mia, I…I love you. Please don’t do this.”

  Tears blurred my eyes, causing my vision to cloud. Glancing over my shoulder at him, I gave him a sad smile. “Yeah, well, sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

  And with that, I slammed the bathroom door.

  I jumped with the harsh slamming of the bathroom door. Closing my eyes, I banged my head back against the tile. How the fuck had everything gone so wrong? As pissed as I was with Mia for leaving me in the situation I was in, my chest constricted at the thought that she had left me, especially over some stupid misunderstanding. With her being so erratic and quick to react, I didn’t know how in the hell I could make this right. Part of me wondered if I should even bother trying. I didn’t know if I could deal with having a trigger, or handcuff, happy girlfriend. But my mind kept going back to yesterday and last night and how things had changed between us. Mia had made me feel more than any woman had in the past. Could I really just walk away from that?

  I grudgingly eyed my cell-phone perched on the edge of the sink before I jerked my wrist as hard as I could against the shower head. “FUCK!” I shouted, as slicing pain ricocheted through my hand. Pinching my eyes shut, I huffed several breaths in and out. There was no way in hell I was getting out of these handcuffs without help.

  Out of my three band-mates, there was really only one I could call. With my free hand, I strained as I leaned over to try to grab it off the edge of the sink. Fumbling around, I finally grasped it. Dialing with my thumb, I brought it to my ear. Thankfully, Brayden answered on the second ring.

  “Um, hey, it’s me.”

  Brayden chuckled. “No shit, Sherlock. I kinda realized that with the caller ID.”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “Dude, where the hell are you and Mia? Abby’s made her famous chili, and we’re about to sit down for lunch in ten minutes.” His voice had risen to be heard over the chattering crowd.

  “Yeah, I don’t think I can make lunch quite yet.”

  “What do you mean? Wait a sec.” Rustling sounded in the background before a shriek came in my ear. “Oh no, missy. No more cookies until after lunch.”

  “Brayden,” I pleaded.

  “Sorry man, but Lily will have my ass if she realizes I let Melody eat half a bag of animal crackers on my watch. One sec. Allison, would you take her for a minute? Thanks.” I heard the creak of the back-porch door. “Okay, I’m all yours.”

  “Listen, I need a favor, but I need you to keep this quiet.”

  “What’s up?”

  Closing my eyes, I gripped the phone tight against my ear. “I really don’t want to go into this over the phone, so can you please come down here?”

  “You sound really weird.”

  “Yeah, you would too if you were handcuffed to the fucking shower!” I snapped before I could stop myself.

  A long silence came on the other end. “I’m sorry, but did you just say you were handcuffed to the shower?”

  “Yeah,” I growled.

  “So what the hell do you need me for? Get the key from Mia and—”

  “She’s gone.”

  “What?”

  I heaved a frustrated sigh. “Bray, I’m standing here buck-ass naked, shivering, and hanging by one arm from a shower head. Do you think I could explain all this shit later?”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll see you in a few,” he replied, before hanging up.

  I eased the phone back on the ledge of the sink. Then I eased back and waited. The moment the front door opened I knew I was in trouble. Brayden had pulled an uncharacteristically douche move—he wasn’t alone.

  As I heard the guys shuffling up the ladder to the loft, I closed my eyes and let loose with a string of f-bomb-laced expletives. When Brayden appeared in the doorway with Jake and Rhys, I shook my head. “I thought you promised not to say anything.”

  “Yeah, well, while I was on the phone with you, Mia came to the house looking for a car to borrow, but she was so upset, Abby wouldn’t let her drive.”

  Jake shot me a death glare. “Thanks to your douche move, I didn’t get lunch, and I’m going to have a pissed fiancée when she gets back.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Oh, I’m so fucking sorry. Could we focus on the fact that I’m the one handcuffed to a shower right now?”

  Rhys snapped a picture on his phone. When he glanced at it, he grimaced. “Dude, you didn’t smile.”

  “When I get loose, I’m going to kick your fucking ass!” I growled.

  Jake snickered. “I’d be a little nicer to him, man. If he were to leak that pic of you, it could be really bad for your rep. I mean, the cold water has totally obliterated your dick.”

  I lunged for him and Rhys with my free arm. They both clambered backwards out of my reach. “All right, knock it off, assholes,” Brayden shouted over our scuffling.

  “I’ll go get the key,” Jake said. While he went into the bedroom, I let my head bang back against the tile.

  Brayden cleared his throat. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

  Raising my head, I peered at him. “Thanks.”

  He held out a fuzzy towel, and I took it from him to start drying my face and what parts of my body I could reach with one arm.

  “Man, what happened? You and Mia seemed so happy,” Rhys said.

  “Kylie showed up, used the hide-a-key, and ran into Mia downstairs.”

  Rhys winced as Brayden let out a low whistle. Jake, who had returned with the key, shook his head. “Damn, dude, that fucking blows.”

  “No shit,” I replied as I toweled my hair a little more furiously. As Jake worked at getting me free, I turned to Brayden. “Did you know Kylie was coming?”

  “She called Lily last night, and I guess Lily mentioned we were here.” At my scowl, he held up his hands. “We sure as hell didn’t invite her. Besides, I thought whatever was between you two was in the past.”

  The handcuffs snapped open, and I was no longer a shower prisoner. As I rubbed my aching wrist, I replied, “It was—it is. But for some reason, Kylie still seems to think I’m interested in a booty call.”

  Brayden grimaced. “She’s a wonderful baby-sitter and loves the hell out of my kids. But honestly, she makes the worst choices in life.”

  “Thanks a fucking lot, man,” I grumbled.

  “Nothing good ever comes from being a guy’s booty call or fuck buddy, AJ,” Jake argued. “I mean, hell, look at what happened to Abby because of Bree.”

  Rolling his eyes, Bray replied, “Yeah, well, Kylie is far from that level of psychotic.”

  Rhys exhaled noisily before pinning me with a hard stare. “True, but I told you back in Oklahoma City not to start that shit up again. Looks like you were all invested the first time, and now it’s her this time.”

  Tilting my head, I gave him a ‘what the fuck’ look. “Seriously? So Kylie showing up is all my fault?”

  “Well obviously you didn’t shoot her down hard enough last night if she thought it was okay to come waltzing in here.”

  “What exactly did you say to her last night?” Brayden questioned.

  I grimaced. “I just told her I had to go, and that I’d talk to her later.”

  “Dumbass,” Rhys muttered.

  I threw up my hands. “I didn’t have a whole lot of time to stop and have a meaningful fucking conversation when I could see Mia freaking out and bailing.”

  “Regardless of how it happened, you really screwed up, dude. You should go after Mia,” Brayden said.

  I snapped the towel away from my face. “Are you shitting me? She handcuffed me to the shower!”

  “You love her,” Bray countered.

  “I do not,” I lied.

  When I glanced over at Jake to see if he was buying my line, he gave me a sad smile. “Don’t look to me for advice. I fucked up way too many
times to count. Abby’s a freakin’ saint to love me, least of all forgive me.”

  While I was crumbling on the inside, I tried with everything I had to keep up my tough guy exterior. “Jesus guys, I still have my pride, and it’s screaming at me not to chase after a woman who won’t be reasoned with.”

  Jake crossed his arms over his chest. “This from the same guy who told me I had to do something epic to win Abby back.”

  “That was different,” I mumbled.

  “Because it was me? Because it wasn’t your heart on the line?”

  “I don’t know.” Pinching my eyes shut, I rubbed my forehead. “The bottom line is Mia isn’t Abby—she has some real dark shit in her past.”

  “So what, you don’t feel you’re man enough to deal with all that?” Jake countered.

  I snapped my eyes open to glare at him. “No, asshole. That’s not it at all.”

  “Abby still has to deal with my shit—the women and my grief—, but she does it because she loves me.” He smacked me hard on the back. “Maybe you should try to deal with Mia’s shit because you love her.”

  When I glanced at Rhys and Brayden, they both nodded their heads. “Come on so we can eat some chili before it gets cold,” Brayden suggested. With a wink, he added, “You’re going to need your strength when it comes to getting Mia back.”

  “Fine. Lead the way,” I replied. As I followed them to the ladder, I thought it was going to take a lot more than a little food fortification to give my body what it needed to prepare to battle Mia. Although after what she did, part of me was saying good riddance to her. But somehow I knew she was worth fighting for—that she was different than any other woman I’d ever been with. More than anything, I wanted to prove to her, that in spite of her past, some men would fight for what they wanted, and I was just that kind of man.

  Perched on the side of a hospital bed at Scottish Rite’s Children’s Healthcare, I drummed out a hard-core rhythm on the Guitar Hero drum-set. With his IV shackled hands, the teenage leukemia patient I was visiting kept right up with me during the more difficult parts. His name was Manuel, aka Manny, and when he’d heard a member of Runaway Train was visiting the oncology floor, he’d asked to meet me. So after I’d made some quick rounds, I went to his room so I could spend the most time with him. I was stoked as hell to see him sitting there in a Runaway Train T-shirt. He had been the drummer in a band until cancer had sidelined him. Even on the shitty Guitar Hero set, I could tell he had talent. But of course, I had to ride his ass a little.