The Coming of the Teraphiles

  It shimmered and appeared to shake in the Doctor's hand. Its

  cold white light reminiscent of silver or platinum glittered

  with sapphires, rubies, diamonds and emeralds - every

  precious stone that existed. The gold fletchings shook and

  rustled in the breeze. The slender point was very stylised,

  certainly not made to kill, and the long shaft bore lettering in

  an unfamiliar runic alphabet.

  The Arrow of Artemis. The Roogalator. The beam intended

  to rest on the fulcrum of the Cosmic Balance.

  Chapter 26

  The Arrow of Law

  THE DOCTOR HANDED THE arrow to Mrs Banning-Cannon, who took it

  in both hands with sudden respect. Someone came forward

  with a plush cushion, and she placed the arrow on it. She

  turned toward the winning side, who stood grouped and

  waiting, and spoke in her poshest voice: 'Robin, Earl of

  Lockesley, who brought his team, the Gentlemen, to success

  against all odds, it is my great pleasure to present you with

  the winning Silver Arrow of Artemis! Jolly well played

  everyone.'

  As Bingo, on behalf of the team, stepped forward to receive

  the arrow, it seemed to Amy that the entire multiverse glowed

  and pulsed in the sky in celebration.

  Huge applause rang out from all supporters and team

  members. Everyone, including the Visitors and the Tourists,

  thought the Gents thoroughly deserved their victory. In the

  surrounding skies of Mustard Mull, the Chaos Engineers

  hung over the rails of their steam tugs and yachts and red-

  sailed Loondoon barges, intent on the ceremony, and roared

  and cheered with the best of them. Amy spotted the Bubbly

  Boys and recognised Captain Quelch's yacht.

  The Doctor and Amy looked at the Arrow as it was passed

  from hand to hand. 'So here's the Roogalator which is going

  to save all Creation!' Amy said, a little disbelievingly. 'I'll

  never understand.'

  'It's a trick I used to pull a lot. Hide one thing in another

  thing you want to hide. I put the arrow inside the TARDIS,

  and the TARDIS inside the bucky ball before we left Peers™.

  It was much smaller then. That way, both things were safely

  hidden, yes? Now let's hope we can find a way to get the

  Roogalator back into place. We've only got one crack at it,

  you know. Whatever we do next, if we're successful, will be

  reproduced across the multiverse, as our story will be retold

  in some form for ever. But, if we fail, of course, that's the end

  of us all. And all our stories...'

  A little impatiently Amy said, 'Are you going to make it

  any bigger. Or shrink us, or what?'

  He became embarrassed. 'That's a snag I hadn't

  anticipated,' he said. 'It should have come back to its regular

  size when I took it out of the bucky ball.'

  'You mean we're stuck here!'

  'Only until we get back to the universe we left. I have to

  admit I thought that Miggea might keep all her characteristics

  and allow me to bring the TARDIS back to normal size. I think

  I might have been wrong...'

  'Stuck here until Miggea returns to our own space-time?

  How long is that?'

  'Local time or our time?' He scratched his head.

  'Oh, god!' She looked around at the cheering people. 'So

  we're stuck here. Maybe for the rest of our lives.'

  'Maybe.' He was beginning to look a bit shifty. 'But we

  can't leave here now anyway. We have things to do.

  'So what do we have to tackle next?' Her look of disgust

  would have sent a Barsoomian banth whimpering back to its

  cave.

  'We're waiting for Captain Abberley and the Bubbly Boys.

  They've set off to capture Quelch. See, they—'

  Bingo came racing up, arrow in hand, flushed with

  pleasure and radiating confidence. 'I say, Amy! That was

  great playing today! Can I have a quick word?'

  'Well, we're a bit busy, Bingo.'

  'Come over here, where it's quieter.' He took her arm and

  pulled her towards the shade of the pavilion. 'Look. I wasn't

  going to say anything until a bit later, but I'm walking on air

  at the moment and my bally stupid nerve isn't likely to hold,

  so I'm doing it while the bowstring's sizzling, as it were. I'm

  only a backwoods countryman with an interest in whackin'

  and shootin', what?'

  She had been dreading this moment, hoping to avoid it.

  'Bingo. You're so sweet and brave and you're really, really

  kind...'

  'Then there's some hope - I mean - will you - would

  you?'

  She grinned, still hoping to deflect what was coming.

  'Won't you join the dance?' she added, quoting Carroll.

  'Sorry, you don't know Alice, do you? It's a lovely bit of

  nonsense.'

  'Amy. This isn't nonsense.' Bingo gurgled. He fingered

  his bow. He seemed to be offering her the Silver Arrow. He

  kicked fiercely at the ground. 'I'm wondering if you'd like to

  be the next Lady Lockesley. Run the show with me, what?'

  He glared at the sod of turf he had kicked up. 'There it is. I've

  said it.' He stood panting like a retriever who has fetched at

  least three ducks in one go.

  Amy could dodge and weave no longer. 'Bingo,' she

  began. 'You're a super bloke. A catch for any smart woman.

  But - oh, dear, Bingo, I'm afraid I can't accept. You see—'

  'Oh, gosh. I've really made an ass of myself, haven't I?'

  Bingo was once again giving his celebrated impression of

  a stop light. 'You've already got someone at home or - oh,

  lor' - not the Doctor? I thought he was just your boss or

  something...'

  'It's very complicated actually and it would be hard to

  give a complete explanation, but I'm not free to...'

  'Dash it. I've turned up too late as usual.' Bingo kicked

  another large lump out of the turf. 'Missed the jolly old boat,

  what?'

  'Oh, Bingo! You're a smashing bloke. A girl couldn't want

  anything more than what you offer. You're sweet, generous,

  funny, good-looking - most women would snap you up.'

  'But not this particular woman,' he said. He looked rather

  like a punctured airship. The picture of deflation.

  She kissed his cheek and squeezed his arm. 'Not this

  particular one,' she said. 'Sorry.' She felt so wretched as she

  watched him slump away.

  Then, to her astonishment, she saw the Doctor come racing

  up, spot Bingo, grab the arrow out of his hand and carry on

  running. 'Come on, Amy! What on earth's happened to him?

  He promised...'

  There was the faint lowing of a steam-whistle.

  'Sounds like him now.' The Doctor perked up. 'Can you

  see him, Amy?'

  'Hey!' cried Bingo behind them.

  A familiar ship suddenly poked its prow out of the

  surrounding yellow matter of Mustard Mull. Amy recognised

  the Now the Clouds Have Meaning as the boat swung round

  and lay bobbing at anchor. With his bow in one hand, the

  Silver Arrow in the other, the Doctor waved.

  Brian Abberley saluted him back. 'How do, Doctor? I see

  you've brought t'Roo
galator. Shall we get on with it?'

  Bingo followed them up the ladder. 'I say, Doctor. That

  arrow...'

  Captain Abberley gave the arrow an approving onceover.

  'That's t'beggar all right. Our sweet old Roogalator! Nice

  going, chaps!' He looked from the Doctor to Bingo to Amy.

  'But is that all you have? It's no good...'

  'What do you mean?' the Doctor looked totally bewildered.

  'I've brought the ancient Arrow of Law and it's imbedded

  with the equally timeless Jewels of Chaos. It's the blooming

  Roogalator, boys. It's what makes the worlds go round,

  keeps the clocks ticking. We've been defending it against

  all comers. We played the game of our lives to win it. Just

  in time. Another few moments and we'll all be dissipating

  dust. At best. We've brought it as close to the centre of the

  multiverse as anyone's ever dared, and you're telling us it's

  useless!'

  'I didn't say it was useless, Doctor. Trod's t'beam. T'star's

  t'fulcrum and t'bloomin' planets are t'pans. Everything

  matches, see. But just having t'Arrer is like having an

  H-bomb. It's no good without a delivery system. That's what

  tha's missin', old chum. T' delivery system.'

  Chapter 27

  Running for the Centre

  'DELIVERY SYSTEM?' NOW THE Doctor looked as deflated as Bingo.

  Amy was baffled, too.

  'Of course! That's why they were after the hat!' The

  Doctor laughed aloud. 'That's what Frank/Freddie knew

  they needed. And why we've been confused about this all

  along. It was hidden in the hat. Diana of Loondoon's own.

  She disguised it. What was in it?'

  Amy remained baffled. 'I don't know. Lace? Feathers?

  Rings and things? Buttons? And - oh, wow!'

  'Exactly! I was using it. I had it in my hands. And she had

  it all along! Under our noses!' The Doctor vaulted over the side of the little steamboat. Followed by Amy and Bingo, he ran

  back towards the pavilion where triumphant players were

  still gathered discussing the win.

  In the middle of these, strutting her stuff a little, as she

  had every right to do, stood the great W.G. Grace, leaning

  on her antique bow and shaking hands with her team and its

  opponents. 'Very kind,' she said. 'I didn't think I could do it

  at first. The bow's not really my strong point.'

  'You were never sure, were you, W.G.?' The Doctor leaned

  forward and snatched the bow from her unsuspecting hands.

  'But now you are sure, you won't want that! I need it rather

  more than you do. In fact everyone needs it more than you!'

  'Eh? Have you gone barmy, Doctor?' Hari Agincourt

  stepped forward.

  But the Bearded Lady was no longer triumphant. Indeed,

  she looked a little downcast. 'So you worked it out, eh,

  Doctor?' She moved to the railing of the pavilion and leaned

  against it. From somewhere nearby a steam-whistle sounded.

  Its note was urgent. 'Yes, it was me. I recognised the bow as

  the famous Bow of Diana which, according to legend, was

  lost with the Elgin Marbles and the British Museum centuries

  ago. I was disgusted, I have to say. I was going to liberate the

  bow from that dreadful hat shop when we stopped over in

  Loondoon. It was obscene what they were doing. I planned

  to buy it. But Mrs B-C got to it first. She had no intention, she

  said, of ever selling it. So I pinched the hat from her when

  we were all at Lockesley Hall. I used an anti-grav handler

  to float it out of the window and into the shrubbery. I was

  standing under the bedroom window pretending to have a

  smoke round the comer. Nobody saw me. A bit later, when

  all the fuss had died down, I retrieved the hat from the

  shrubbery and messed it up a bit, tugging the bow, which

  was used as support for a mere decoration, out of the hat. I'd

  seen a picture of the thing years ago so I knew what it was:

  a genuine religious relic! She used it in that ridiculous hat,

  which was nothing less than blasphemy. How she came by

  it, I'll never know. My plan was to donate it to the Archery

  Museum on Twang in Calypso, but I thought I'd use it first,

  to see if it improved my shooting. Which it did...'

  'I remember now. You and the First Fifteen were going

  round the shops at the same time I was.' Mrs Banning-Cannon

  glared. 'You only had to ask...'

  'I think that's what Diana found on Venice and took back to

  Old Old Earth with her,' said the Doctor. 'I wish I'd realised...

  Still, it might never have come here if you hadn't wanted to

  improve your bowing, W.G. I suppose we have you to thank.

  But I think Diana knew what the bow was and how to get

  it here. Where's Diana now, Mrs Banning-Cannon? Captain

  Cornelius might want to know when - well, i f - we get back

  to the Gargantua.'

  'She's still in Loondoon, as far as I know,' murmured Mrs

  Banning-Cannon dreamily, suddenly aware of the astonishing

  Romance she was involved in. Her holiday experience had

  mellowed her considerably.

  Amy had been listening. 'And that's who Captain

  Cornelius's lost love must be. Diana knew where we were

  going, knew old Ironface would probably recognise it and

  trace it back to her. Where can she be? Here, maybe? Or still

  in Loondoon - waiting.

  The steam-whistle sounded again.

  The pair started running for it, with Bingo not far behind.

  'Hang on! I'm coming with you.'

  'Well, technically, I paid for it,' began the matriarch. But she

  understood, somewhere in her bones, that this wasn't really

  the most appropriate response. She watched as the Doctor,

  Bingo and Amy clambered aboard the little steamboat, while

  the others stood open-mouthed, still not altogether sure what

  was going on.

  'I'm really sorry!' cried W.G. Tears were coursing down her

  cheeks, filling her beard and making it glint like diamonds.

  'I'm such an idiot. I had no idea how important that bow

  was. I should have guessed that was why they thought we

  still had the hat. They'd sniffed the bow when I had it in my

  case.'

  Then Captain Brian Abberley gave one last farewell blast

  on the steam-whistle and the little boat was paddling back

  up the sky which turned from yellow to dark mauve.

  'Purple Pastures,' said the Doctor. 'It's been so long since

  I was here!'

  Through Purple Pastures with a dozen vessels chugging,

  whining and moaning behind them. Into Bluebell Bay and

  still going.

  'So old W.G. was the culprit all along!' Bingo shook his

  head. He realised that Mr Banning-Cannon would now

  know the truth. In his mind's eye his deed to Peers™ was

  disappearing with all his other dreams. And poor Hari's and

  Flapper's dreams, too, for that matter.

  'That's why she hung on to it through thick and thin,' said

  the Doctor. 'That's why she wouldn't let anyone else handle

  her bow case. She certainly confused any pursuit - and

  confused us into the bargain. Isn't it lovely? Ebony and ivory!

  The art of fusing the two i
nto a bow has been lost but you see

  them sometimes represented on old Greek vases and friezes.

  The bow of Diana, the huntress. And the woman Captain

  Cornelius has sought for countless years.' The Doctor ran his

  hand along the stave's length.

  'What?' exclaimed Amy. 'A goddess. A real goddess?'

  'Real enough for Cornelius,' he said.

  Now their surroundings shifted to a brilliant green.

  'Emerald City, next stop,' said the Doctor.

  ' What???' exclaimed Amy again. She almost hit him when

  she realised he was laughing.

  'Green Glades, I think,' Abberley told her.

  Bingo was standing disconsolately at the rail looking over

  the side as the little boat steamed its way through the colour-

  zones of the Second Aether. Amy suppressed an urge to go

  over to him and comfort him. Then she gasped in wonder.

  They had broken out of Green Glades into a place that

  smelled and looked like the roots of the universe, a great

  tangle of tubers, of purple and yellow, of gold, black, maroon

  and orange. And laid on that a matrix of dark green, brown,

  jade green, crimson, silver, amber and cerise. Gigantic roses,

  pink, white, yellow and scarlet, intertwined to form a canopy

  of coruscating colour which opened out into another view

  of the multiverse and another and another, with glimpses

  of crowded planets blazing like orbs, coronets and sceptres:

  the Crown Jewels of Olympus. And through all this the

  little steamboat chugged doggedly along until suddenly the

  engines stopped.

  And there was silence.

  Below them they saw blackness; a blackness so intense

  nothing could escape it. Spiralling into it and out of it came

  threads of vivid orange, pale greens, spatterings and swirls

  of light blue beaches, yellow jungles, orange, pink and ochre

  seas, burnt amber rivers, fields of gold and glowing maple,

  spouts of liquid rubies, flowing sapphire and fusions of black-

  green, foam-white, startling combinations of a thousand

  shades of green and the flickering powders of silver, dust

  grey, pewter and bronze, all creating a funnel through which

  they peered down into a soul-sucking blackness.

  'What is it, Doctor?' Bingo asked, his heartbreak

  momentarily forgotten.

  'We're looking through the Sagittarian Schwarzschild

  Radius from the perspective of the Second Aether,' explained