Clarity

  “I’m sorry.” Perdita’s voice was full of pity.

  “So what’s changed now?” I tried to sound tough, but even I was beginning to pity him. He looked so downtrodden, sounded so… honest.

  “What’s changed is I’ve realised he has no intentions of letting us go. He would promise another month, another couple of weeks, and yet I’m still here, still waiting. I can’t prove this, I know, but I can take you to Willow. You’ll see when she goes for me that my loyalties aren’t with her pack. But you could help me persuade her that Vin’s no good. It’s true. He isn’t any good. He’s all about his own gain. He has no concern for the rest of the pack. All command and no support.” He made a face, and for a second, I saw some common ground. He’d practically described the way my grandfather had been acting.

  “Say you help them,” Perdita said, leaning over the table. “What would they have to do? What would Nathan have to do?”

  I sensed her worry. I wasn’t that brave. I worried for myself, too.

  “Either come with me to rescue my girls or help take out Vin if we can lure him here.”

  “But won’t we be outnumbered?” she persisted.

  He licked his lips, and I could sense his reluctance. “You’ll have me and Willow, hopefully. And if we can somehow surprise Vin, he won’t have a chance to call in the other packs.”

  “There are other packs?” I asked, curious in spite of myself.

  “It’s complicated. Hard to know how many are really out there. There are a couple of small packs here and there with only a handful in each one. Even less would be capable of a fight. As far as I can tell, there are some loners, too. Some have hidden in the real world, and everyone else sticks with Vin, mostly out of fear or coercion, like me. There’s no knowing how many families are out there like mine, with a werewolf born to normal parents. Either way, he’s alpha of all the wolves, meaning the other packs obey him. The numbers are pretty small, and there are humans amongst them because there are very few female werewolves. Innocent people live amongst them. Some are elderly. Some are children. It wouldn’t be right to run in and attack them. The best way would be luring him out.”

  “But?” I added, knowing he was stalling.

  “But that will be the difficult bit. Although, I don’t think we need strength of numbers. Vin wants to destroy your pack because he’s afraid he’ll lose the alpha position to one of you.”

  “One of us? We barely know how to track a wolf. How could we take it?”

  His face cleared. “Ah. You don’t understand the power. It makes sense now. Short version then. For whatever reason, your line is pure blooded. At some stage, it seems as if the bloodline became diluted for everyone else. This curse everyone’s always talking about enabled your family to produce strong wolves. From what I understand, Vin’s pack has always gone after the mates because you’re all stronger after you bond with them. And the rest of us can’t compete with that natural ability, not if you harness it properly. We’re weak. All of us. And the curse, this mate business, makes you all so much stronger. I’m not even fully sure why. Your family doesn’t have the kinds of problems we do. There are so few female werewolves that there are very few true matings. The older wolves tell stories, say that when your family became wolves, the rest of us got weaker.”

  Frowning, I glanced at Perdita. If we could be like the other wolves, then we might surpass them. Maybe even beat them without having to battle them for it. That piqued my interest more than anything. She hated violence, and we might be able to skip that part. If one of us could put fear into their alpha, then we wouldn’t have to worry about being hunted by them again. But I was the only one in my pack with a mate, and I was just a kid.

  “They don’t have mates anymore. My family, I mean,” I said.

  He avoided my eyes. “I know. I’m betting on you being enough.”

  Panic beat heavily in my chest. If my family helped him, we were relying an awful lot on possibilities rather than fact. I had to figure out if it was worth it. “If we get rid of this alpha, will that be it? We’ll be left alone?”

  Ryan nodded, but there was something edgy about the way he looked at me.

  “What is it?”

  “It might not be as simple as that. There will always be a few who are loyal to Vin, and he’ll do anything to take advantage of the situation. You could handle them, I’m sure of that. But if Vin is beaten down, he’ll be seen as weak. Someone will have to take over his role. That could be a problem, depending on who exactly steps into his place.”

  “It’s starting to sound as though it’ll be for nothing,” Perdita mumbled.

  “If you take a stand, then they’ll think twice next time,” he reassured her. “But you’ll need help. We need Willow.”

  Perdita stiffened. I didn’t blame her. I didn’t want to work with the wolf who’d attacked her father, either. But maybe we wouldn’t have a choice.

  “Why is all of this happening now? Why follow us? Why try to figure out who my mate would be?”

  Ryan’s face hardened. “It’s happening now because there are wolves in the pack with the ability. I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’ve always been followed around in some form or another. There are those with another sight. Humans who can see signs. They see when it’s almost time for the bonding. Then Vin sends a tracker.”

  “But why not with my parents? Or my uncle?”

  “They hadn’t found a tracker then. The tracker has a hyper-awareness, something that lets them zone in on the right bloodlines. Basically, they have the ability to find the potential mates and even werewolves. It’s how Vin has gathered everyone together. It’s how all of the past alphas have kept the werewolves linked together. Vin’s hunted them down over the years. It’s hard to explain, but once there’s even a clue, it becomes a process of elimination. Willow has a little of the awareness. Enough to find werewolves—like me—but not mates.”

  “My grandfather told us that there were mates for him before my grandmother. That your pack kept finding them. That was because your pack had a tracker then?”

  He nodded, but he looked incredibly uncomfortable.

  “So who is the tracker now?” Perdita asked, and I cursed myself for not thinking of that question sooner.

  “Well… that would be me,” he said quietly.

  I swore so loudly that the only other customer in the cafe turned to watch us with curiosity. I lowered my voice, but I could barely get the words out I was shaking so much. “How could you do that?”

  “I had no choice. I made it as hard as possible. I even told them there were two possibilities to buy some time. Vin decided it was time to leave blood warnings to distract you all, and I thought that would work in your favour. I thought you would understand because it happened before. But Willow and Jack were stalking your sister and Perdy, and they saw when you two… connected. That was it. I tried to help you. You have to see that now. I’m trying to make sure my own kids stay safe.”

  “I believe you,” Perdita said firmly. I glared at her, but she raised her eyebrows as if to say, Don’t push it.

  I groaned. When did I get so whipped?

  “I know how you feel,” Ryan said. “But we need each other right now. Your family needs to make a stand against Vin, and soon. It’s not only you and me. There are a lot of wolves who need to be free of him.”

  “What do you think will happen if we don’t fight back?” I asked.

  “They’ll keep following your family. They’ll keep trying to take your sister. They’ll watch the unmated one and try to take his mate first, if they possibly can. Vin wants what you have. No matter what it takes to get it.”

  “Fine,” I said. “I’ll do what it takes.”

  “Nathan!” Perdita’s horror at my instant agreement wasn’t exactly a surprise.

  “I know what I said. But I need this to be done. No more waiting around to be attacked. All we’ve been saying for the past month is how much would be different now if only we had acted whe
n we had the chance. Now we have that chance. We have to do it.”

  “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

  I grinned, faking confidence. “I won’t. Promise. Okay, Ryan. I’ll go with you to see Willow. Prove yourself, and we have a real deal.”

  After much arguing, we dropped Perdita at the hospital, and Jeremy and I joined Ryan in the search for Willow. Jeremy was far too easily persuaded, while Ryan kept warning us that Willow wasn’t like other wolves and that we couldn’t hurt her. We had to be nice to her. It felt as though we were about to try to tame a feral kitten.

  I wanted it over and done with, and I kept reminding myself that Perdita was safe. That got me through the lingering sensations of wanting to grip Ryan by the throat and shake him like a dog.

  Ryan was an amazing tracker. He zoned in on Willow straight away, even in his human form. He had persuaded us to approach her in human form in case we surprised her. He said we really didn’t want to surprise Willow.

  “I’ve been avoiding her since we got here, but before, I spent a lot of time with her. I can catch her scent on the wind no matter where I go. The trick is finding the most recent trail. Real wolves don’t have the range we do, but you have to use it, push it further. It’s the only way you grow.”

  “Maybe I’m different,” I said, a little grumpily.

  “You need practice. That’s all. I grew up with humans, and my mother hated me running with my grandfather. Plus he moved around a lot to draw attention away from us. But when he was around, he showed me a couple of things. I didn’t really use them until Vin forced me, but I can help you… if you want.”

  I shrugged, but really I was excited to hear more from him.

  “How the hell did Vin get all the power?” Jeremy asked.

  “Killed an alpha and raised all of the younger wolves to fear him. It’s hard to face him. He has the pack’s power behind him, so it makes it tougher to stare him down.”

  “Bet I could do it,” Jeremy mumbled.

  “Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s persuaded an awful lot of werewolves that they need to live like him. Would you really want the responsibility of having to make every single little decision for all of those werewolves and their families?”

  “Why don’t they all just gang up on him or something?” I asked.

  “That isn’t how it works,” Ryan said. “It’s not in our nature. There’s some instinct to know who’s boss. We automatically rank ourselves against each other. Even against humans. It all depends on who else is around at the time.”

  “But it can change,” I said.

  “Not often,” he replied.

  I was about to talk about Opa and Byron switching places, but Jeremy frowned at me and shook his head.

  “Good,” Ryan said after a few minutes. “She’s still at the hotel. I was afraid she went wolf. No talking to her like that. Right. She might sense us and run, but she could be in one of her dazes. If we get into her room and she attacks me, then hold her down as gently as possible. Don’t hurt her. We need her calm. Actually, Nathan, she won’t react well to you, so keep out of her way. Jeremy can handle her, I think.”

  “And then what?” Jeremy asked.

  “Then we talk to her about Vin. See where we all stand.”

  “This better be good,” Jeremy said. “I need to have something useful to bring back to the others, okay? And if you’re trying to get one over on us, you will be sorry. Do you understand me?”

  “You’ll see,” Ryan insisted.

  An old man sat behind the counter in the lobby of the small bed-and-breakfast, but he seemed too busy reading a newspaper to even notice us. We followed Ryan up a narrow staircase, and part of the way up, I caught her scent. We were definitely in the right place, but only time would tell if Ryan was being truthful.

  He hesitated outside her room, then shook himself and rapped on the door. There was a bang before the door opened, and a wide-eyed woman peered out. Ryan pushed the door, forcing himself in, and she growled fiercely. She was about to strike him when she caught sight of me and lunged in my direction.

  Jeremy grabbed her by the waist and lifted her into the room. Ryan and I followed, closing the door.

  “Calm down,” Jeremy whispered.

  She was a little scary looking, and her eyes were so wild it unnerved me. “You’re a traitor!” She hiccupped out a sob. “A traitor, traitor, traitor dog.”

  Ryan sat on the bed. “I’ve never betrayed you, Willow. Think about it. Don’t you remember? I took the blame for you. When they hurt you? They stopped because I protected you. Don’t you remember that?”

  She stopped flailing and stared at him, breathing heavily. “I… I remember. But you chased me. You stopped me from getting my blood vengeance. He promised it to me. He said I could take my father’s place.”

  Jeremy heaved himself into a ratty armchair, with Willow on his lap. She didn’t seem to notice.

  “I know he did,” Ryan said in that low, calm voice. “But he lied. He lies to you a lot, Willow. You know that, don’t you?”

  She stared at him, her eyes even wider. When she spoke again, her voice had changed into something soft and young. “Why did you chase me away?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to hurt that girl.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and her voice became harsh and crude again. “She killed my father! She deserves it!”

  “That was a mistake. She’s just a girl. It was a fluke. Your father would never be hurt so easily. And the girl didn’t ask to be hunted down. She was innocent. She tried to protect herself; that’s all. You’re on the wrong side, Willow.”

  “What are you talking about? There’s no side. It’s the pack; that’s all the side there is!”

  “It doesn’t have to be like this. We don’t have to live like this. Vin isn’t good to you, to any of us. He’s hurting my girls, Willow. I can’t let him do that. But I need your help to stop him. I need these wolves’ help, too. Will you join me?”

  “He won’t hurt those girls,” she said, her voice creepily young again. It was eerie how she switched between personas so easily.

  “He hurt you. He wants you to hurt the girls here in Dublin. He sent you in by yourself to fight an entire pack. He didn’t expect you to walk away from that. And if he was a real leader, then he would do the work himself; wouldn’t he?”

  She nodded, then her face shot upward. “I told him already. About you.”

  “That’s okay. That’s probably a good thing. It means he still trusts you, so he won’t hurt you. But I need you to tell me what happens next. What did he tell you?”

  She cocked her head to the side. I sidled closer to the door. She freaked me out big time.

  “Come on, Willow. We’re friends. I’ve taken care of you. When your father was in his rages, I kept you safe, didn’t I? I’ll protect you. I promise you that, but I need your help.”

  She was silent for an age, and I could see her struggle to go against her alpha. “He’s sending more. I’m supposed to keep the family busy while they take the other girl. He said they’re supposed to come after you, to rip out your spine.”

  A collective shudder ran through the room. Willow pried Jeremy’s arms away from her midriff.

  “You can lay off now,” she said, moving to the bed. Her eyes were calmer than they had been since we’d entered her room.

  “You okay?” Ryan sounded wary.

  “Yeah.” She rubbed her cheeks, staring at the window. “I know he’s a bad man, a bad wolf, but how are we supposed to go against him? I can’t disobey the alpha.”

  “With a little help, you can,” Ryan said. “I know you don’t see me as part of the pack, not really, but he doesn’t care about us at all. He’s turned the pack into murderers, wild dogs. This isn’t what we’re meant to be, Willow.”

  I watched her stare blankly again and wondered if she was even listening. Maybe the whole idea was a mistake. I believed Ryan. No wolf was that good a liar, but it still didn’t feel right to work with hi
m and Willow after everything that had happened. Jeremy seemed fascinated, and I remembered how little I knew about him, too. I wished Byron was there. I wished Byron was my alpha.

  “I think we need to leave now,” I said. Willow’s head whipped in my direction. I saw the wolf flare behind her eyes as her face flashed with recognition. She leapt at me before I could blink, but Jeremy already had her in his arms.

  He made her look at him, gripping her cheeks to force her focus on him. “Settle down,” he said, and a shiver of anticipation ran through me. Something in the way he said it sounded familiar. “Do not attack him again. Understand?”

  She nodded, but Ryan swore. Jeremy glanced over at him. “She needs it, to keep her straight. She’s all mixed up because of him. This thing that happens to her mind is something he could help her with if he tried.”

  Ryan stood up warily.

  “Relax,” Jeremy said. “I’m helping her.”

  He released Willow, who shook herself. She sat down and looked over at me, not a shred of violence in her expression.

  “What did you do?” I asked, bewildered.

  “I’m making sure she stays calm and doesn’t get herself, or anyone else, hurt.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Did you pull rank on her? Can you even do that? What the hell, Jeremy?”

  “It’s not like that,” he insisted. “I’m giving her a bit of strength so she can keep her head together. It’s as if there’s a piece of her missing. Her alpha should provide it for her. That’s why she’s so twisted. I’m letting her lean on me for a bit; that’s all.”

  Ryan glared at him. “This wasn’t part of the deal.”