Indelible

As he kissed his way down my neck, I swiveled my hips, pushing against him over and over, reveling anytime a grunt or groan was emitted from his lips.

  I wanted to drive him crazy.

  I arched my back and pushed even harder against him, trying to get the response I desired.

  Judd removed his body from mine, but before I had a chance to protest he had me in his arms and was frantically pulling the clothes off my body. Caught in the frenzy, I worked to remove his clothes as well. Kissing and biting each other in between taking off each piece of clothing, I was fully turned on and eager to have him inside me.

  When all of our clothes were in a heap on the floor, Judd fused his mouth to mine as his hands traveled lower, as if memorizing every inch of my body.

  With a growl, Judd turned me, and I pressed my back up against the length of him. He moved my hair to the side and began nibbling up my neck, stopping to take my earlobe in his mouth and sucking it roughly.

  He bent me over the bed and I put my hands out to hold me in place, moving my ass as I did, rubbing against his naked flesh as he reached for the condom. Once it was on, he ran his hands up and down my back, and then fisted his hands in my hair and pulling as he entered me from behind. I cried out at the conflicting yet equally enjoyable sensations of pleasure and pain.

  Judd thrust in and out, pounding as he entered, again and again. I held on and concentrated on pushing back, loving the places inside of me that he was able to reach in this position.

  He reached around and began to caress me quickly, helping me build toward my release. I came with a moan and Judd followed quickly behind me.

  He pulled out and I collapsed unceremoniously on the bed, exhausted and satisfied. When Judd curled up next to me, I leaned into him and smiled, inhaling deeply. He smelled incredible. I kissed his chest gently and he ran his hands through my hair.

  I moved my head so I was looking up at him; his green eyes were crinkled at the side as he smiled down at me. We stayed like that for a few minutes, not saying anything, just enjoying the after-glow.

  I was going to say something about finishing my massage, but I remembered the babysitter and asked, “What time is it?”

  Judd turned to look at his clock and said, “Almost six.”

  “I have to go soon,” I responded with regret.

  “I’d better feed you then,” Judd said, getting up off the bed and pulling on his jeans. He helped me up, and I tried not to be distracted by his muscular torso and the happy trail leading into his jeans.

  I sighed and picked up my clothes. Damn, he was hot. How did I ever end up here with him? I couldn’t help but wonder. He could definitely get any girl he wanted.

  I watched his naked retreating back and sighed again.

  I was a lucky girl.

  I put my clothes on and stopped in the bathroom to clean up before going back out to meet him in the kitchen. He was plating the spaghetti casserole.

  “Do you want fresh parmesan cheese on top?” he asked, cheese grater in hand.

  “Yes, please,” I answered. “It smells great.”

  “Thanks,” Judd said with a smile, handing me a plate. “Sorry that I don’t have an actual dining room table. I usually just use the coffee table.”

  “That’s fine.”

  “I don’t usually have people over here, so it’s never been an issue.”

  “I don’t mind, Judd. Really,” I said, trying to assure him. He’d been to my place, so he knew I wasn’t exactly living in a palace of my own.

  I waited until he was seated with his food before I began to eat. After I swallowed the first bite I said, “This is wonderful.”

  Judd smiled broadly at me and said, “Thanks, my mom used to make it all of the time.”

  We enjoyed the food, and when we were done I took the plates to the kitchen and placed them in the sink. I was going to wash them, but Judd stopped me.

  “Don’t worry about that, I’ve got ‘em.”

  “Okay.” I turned to him and wrapped my arms around him. “I wish I didn’t have to go, but it’s a school night, so my babysitter needs to get home.”

  “Yeah, I wish you didn’t have to go too. I’d love to hang out and watch a movie or something,” Judd responded, kissing me on the top of the head.

  I pulled away and looked up at him. His face was laced with regret. This was one of the downsides of dating me. I wasn’t free to do whatever I pleased; I had a daughter to think about.

  “Thanks for dinner and the massage,” I responded with a slight frown.

  Judd leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss before saying, “Anytime.”

  I gathered my stuff, turning to him when I reached the door.

  “Coffee tomorrow?”

  “Absolutely,” Judd said, brightening a bit.

  I left him there, standing at the open door wearing only jeans and a smile.

  It seemed like the last few weeks had flown by. I was deep into my last season of baseball, and we were kicking ass and taking names. We were number one in the league and were starting to hear chatter about scouts coming down to a couple of the upcoming games.

  My dad was doing well in rehab, and I had been able to see him a few times. He still seemed a little sad though. I was afraid that would never change.

  Sam and I met for coffee every Monday and Wednesday, but with practice, games, and both of us working, it was hard to spend as much time together as I would have liked.

  Today she and Karrie had come to the game. I saw them sitting high in the bleachers, and having them there fueled my desire play my best.

  “Some of the guys are going to get drinks, you in?” Tuck asked as we were packing up our gear.

  “Nah, I’ve got plans,” I replied.

  “Again? Looks like someone’s whipped,” Tuck said with a laugh, slapping me on the arm.

  “Whatever, man,” I said, not taking the bait. “I’ll catch you at the gym tomorrow.”

  All of the guys headed to the locker room, but I headed out to catch Sam before she left. They were coming down the bleachers as I rounded the corner.

  “Hey!” I shouted, trying to get their attention. Karrie saw me first and broke into a run.

  “Dudd!” I laughed at the pure joy on her face, and my chest tightened at the thought of someone being that happy to see me.

  “Hey, squirt,” I said, picking her up and throwing her when she reached me. Karrie squealed with delight when she went airborne. I caught her and pulled her to me, her little arms coming around my neck and squeezing.

  “Great game,” Sam said when she reached us.

  “Thanks, it felt good,” I responded. “You guys still on for P-I-Z-Z-A?”

  Sam smiled and looked over toward the dugout. “Aren’t the guys going out to celebrate?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to go with them?” she asked. “You don’t have to go with us, you know.”

  I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, then smiled at Karrie, who was watching us intently. “I know that… I just want to hang out with my two favorite people.”

  I tickled Karrie lightly and laughed when she giggled.

  “Let me shower up real quick. Are we walking over there? I can leave my bike here and come back for it later.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” Sam replied.

  I dropped another kiss on her perfect lips and whispered, “I’ll be fast.”

  I kissed Karrie’s cheek and took off running for the locker room, Karrie’s giggles trailing behind me.

  I was all cleaned up and fixing my hair when the rest of the team was heading out.

  “You sure you don’t want to come with us, man?” Tuck asked before he walked out the door.

  “I’m good,” I replied.

  I grabbed my dirty uniform and shoved it in my bag, then left the locker room to go find Sam. They were playing in the grass near where my bike was parked, so I stopped at the bike first to put my stuff away before I joined them on the grass.


  “Are you lovely ladies waiting for someone?” I asked as I approached.

  “You!” Karrie screamed, running as fast as her little legs would allow. She hit a bump and stumbled, crashing to the ground in a heap.

  She looked up at me, a little startled, and I gave the umpire’s signal and yelled, “Safe!”

  Karrie looked up at me, eyes wide, not sure if she should cry or not. I bent to take her in my arms.

  “Look at you, you’re a ballplayer already.” I smiled at her, touching her lightly on the nose. I looked at Sam, unsure if I’d done the right thing, and relaxed when she smiled at me.

  Karrie giggled and said, “Safe!”

  “That’s right,” I said.

  I took Sam’s hand and we walked to the pizza joint.

  “What kind of pizza do you guys like?” I asked when we entered the crowded parlor.

  “Karrie just likes cheese. I like everything,” Sam responded. “I can get ours though.”

  Damn, this woman was stubborn. I always had to convince her to let me pay for stuff. I guess she was used to having to do everything for herself. I was working hard to try and change that.

  “No, I got it,” I replied. “You go see if you can grab a table. What about drinks?”

  “Water’s fine for me. Karrie likes milk, if they have it.” She took Karrie from my arms and put her down. She held her hand and walked around to find a table for us.

  I ordered our food and took the drinks to the table. “Hey, Karrie, you wanna play a game with me?”

  Sam looked back toward the arcade and said, “She’s too little for any of those games.”

  “We’ll find something,” I said, picking Karrie up and taking her to the back of the restaurant where the games sounded off and lit up. I put a dollar in the machine to get tokens, then spotted a racing game in the back. “Wanna drive?”

  Karrie just nodded, wide-eyed and scanning the room.

  I got on the motorcycle and placed her in front of me, holding her tight as I put the token in. “Okay, hold on here,” I said, placing her hands on the bars. “Ready?”

  Karrie bobbed her head, her face serious as she looked at the wide screen in front of us. I put it on the country setting and held on to Karrie tightly as we rode over a bridge and to a lake. I could smell Karrie’s blonde curls and smiled at the berry scent. I put one hand out to help her steer and kept the other one around her waist to keep her in place.

  “Karrie ‘rive,” she said with a giggle as we went off-road and the bike simulated riding on rocks.

  “Whoa, speed racer,” I laughed, trying to get us back on track.

  The game was over in a matter of minutes, and I carried Karrie back to the table. The pizza was already there and Sam was sipping on her water as she watched us approach.

  “Karrie ‘rive, Mommy,” Karrie squealed excitedly.

  “I saw,” Sam said with a smile. “You’re such a big girl.”

  I put Karrie in the high chair and buckled her in, then sat across from Sam and picked up a slice.

  “You’re really good with her,” Sam said thoughtfully.

  “She’s easy to hang out with,” I replied truthfully. “Hey, I’ve been wanting to ask you something…”

  Sam looked at me as she took a bite, waiting for me to finish my sentence.

  “I was wondering if you guys would go with me to visit my dad. I know it’s not really a place for kids, but we would visit him in the courtyard, so she wouldn’t really know where we were. He likes to sit outside and listen to the birds. I’d like for you to meet him, and I think it would be good for him to meet you too.”

  Sam swallowed visibly and looked surprised. “You want me to meet your dad? Me and Karrie?”

  “Yeah,” I responded simply. I guess it was a big deal. I’d certainly not brought anyone to ever meet my dad before, but Sam wasn’t just anyone, and for whatever reason, I really wanted them to meet each other. And I knew he’d get a kick out of Karrie. He’d always loved kids, and I thought spending some time with her would be good for him.

  Sam reached her hand out across the table and placed it on mine. She looked at Karrie and then back at me as her eyes filled. The smile she gave me was unlike anything I’d ever seen on her face.

  “We’d love to meet your dad,” she said.

  I squeezed her hand and felt joy and excitement run through me. This was really happening… I was in a real relationship with a wonderful girl, who had a beautiful daughter, and I wasn’t running scared. I was actually excited about the prospect of our future.

  “Good,” I replied.

  “Judd wants Karrie and me to meet his dad,” I said to James before she even had a chance to get out of her car. I asked her to stop by on her way to class, so I knew she only had a few minutes to talk.

  “Judd wants you to meet, Mike? Did I just enter an alternate universe?” James asked as she rounded the car. “I thought neither of you were looking for anything serious.”

  “We’re not… We weren’t,” I stuttered. “Now I don’t know. He’s amazing, James. And you should see him with Karrie.”

  “I can see that,” James said. “He may have been a player, but he’s always there for people he cares about. When my mom OD’d, Judd was the only friend who stopped by to check on me every day.”

  “Aww, see? He’s so sweet.”

  James grimaced. “I didn’t tell you that to make you go all girly and gross on me. I’m just saying, Judd is a good man. A great one in fact, but you are in unchartered waters. He's never been in a serious relationship, let alone introduced anyone to his dad. He must be in deep.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of,” I responded.

  “Why? Are you not in as deep?” James asked with a fierce look. “Because I’m telling you, Sam, if you’re not, don’t fuck with him. I’ve never seen him like this, so that means you have the ability to really hurt him.”

  “I don’t want to hurt him, James. I’m just worried about what comes next. I can’t just live in the now and throw caution to the wind. I have Karrie to think about. She’s falling for him too. I have to worry about what it will mean for her if I am just another notch on his belt,” I said, voicing the fears that had been plaguing me.

  “Hey, he’s obviously serious if he’s doing the whole meet-the-dad thing. If you want to know what happens next, you’re going to have to start that conversation with him.”

  “I know, it’s just, things are going so well. I don’t want to talk about a future and scare the crap out of him.”

  “Well, I can’t promise that won’t happen. The thought of marriage and kids would scare the shit out of me, so I can only imagine how Judd would feel, but you need to be open and honest.”

  James put her arm around my shoulders.

  “You’re both skittish. The most important thing is for the two of you to be true to who you are and what you want. You’ll know what’s right, when it’s right. In the meantime, have fun with Mike. He’s a good man. I’m glad Judd was finally able to talk him into rehab.”

  I looked at James thoughtfully and said, “How the hell do you know so much? I’ve never seen you in a real relationship either.”

  James tapped the iPod that was always in her pocket. “It’s in the music, babe.”

  She hugged me briefly before moving to get back in her car. “Let me know how it goes.”

  I nodded and waved as she drove off.

  I’d spent the last few days since we’d gone for pizza thinking about my relationship with Judd. I knew that I was falling for him, and I worried what that would mean for our relationship. He was so sweet with Karrie, but he’d only seen the good moments, not the bad ones.

  Right now everything was fun and easy, but if we were ever going to have a real relationship, sacrifices would have to be made and ugly situations would have to be dealt with. It didn’t seem fair to ask Judd to do those things.

  He was a young, talented baseball player in the prime of his life. Was it fair
to ask him to be tied down to me and Karrie? I didn’t think that it was.

  The more time I spent with him, the less I cared about any of those arguments. I wanted him to be with us. I wanted him to want to be with us, and I had a feeling that introducing Karrie and me to his father today was only going to bring us closer together.

  I went inside to wake Karrie up from her nap and get her ready to go meet Judd’s dad. Molly said we could borrow her car, so once he arrived we were going to walk over to her house to pick it up. Molly was excited to finally meet Judd in person.

  We were coming out of the bathroom when I heard a knock at the door.

  “Hey, babe,” Judd said when I opened it. He leaned in for a kiss and I met his lips eagerly.

  “Hey. We’re just about ready,” I said. “All I have to do is grab Karrie’s backpack.”

  “Dudd,” Karrie said with as much excitement as her still-tired voice could muster.

  “Hey, baby doll,” Judd said, bending down to pick her up. “Did you just wake up?”

  Karrie nodded, rubbing her eyes and laying her head on his shoulder. He patted her back absently and turned to me.

  I picked up her backpack and my purse and headed for the door, the two of them following close behind me.

  Molly was standing at the end of her driveway when we came up the sidewalk. She waved excitedly, and I laughed at her exuberance.

  “Hey, Molls, thanks again for letting us use the car. I’ll fill it up.”

  “No problem, Sam. You know that.” Molly turned eagerly to Judd, and her face softened when she saw him cradling Karrie in his arms. “You must be Judd,” she said, holding out her hand to shake his.

  Judd just smiled at her and pulled her in to hug her on the side that wasn’t occupied by Karrie. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Molly.”

  Molly looked pleased and flushed when she pulled back from him. She looked at me and winked. “This one’s a keeper.”

  “Stop,” I said in a loud whisper, embarrassed, but Judd just chuckled and opened the car door to put Karrie in Thomas’s car seat.

  Molly checked out Judd’s ass and mouthed, Oh My God! I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing and waved my hand at her. Stop, I mouthed back. She just grinned at me and winked again.