Flat-Out Matt

  Matt was indeed not a Prince Charming kind of a guy, but he was pretty sure that “flaws-and-all” did not include pretending to be your dead brother and seducing a girl via e-mails and chats. Still, one never knew…. “You’ll find him. Not when you’re drunk and slurring, but you’ll find him.” Julie deserved this guy who she was drunkenly dreaming about. He sounded a lot better than Matt.

  “Hey, they’re counting down to midnight. In stupid New York where all the stupid cool people are. Let’s count together.”

  She must have Times Square on her television. Matt wasn’t sure what she had against all of New York, but if this countdown meant that she would get to sleep and start the recovery process, he was all for it. She was going to feel wretched in the morning. “Tell me when.”

  “Seven, six…” she said, and Matt started to count with her. “Five, four, three, two, one!”

  He heard cheering and music in the background. “Happy New Year, Julie.”

  “Happy New Year, Matty.” It was quiet. “Matty, I have another question for you.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Are you a skilled lover?” The seriousness of her tone was beyond words.

  “And that concludes our evening chat.”

  “I bet I could be a skilled lover. I’m very energetic. And a quick learner.”

  He really couldn’t take this. The last thing he needed was Julie’s oversharing about her sexual potential contributing to fantasies that he was already routinely pushing away. “You definitely need to go to sleep.”

  “Oh, fine. I can’t stay on the phone anymore. I have to get to sleep.”

  “I think that's a good plan. I’m glad you thought of it.”

  “I like talking to you,” Julie mumbled.

  He smiled again. That simple phrase meant the world to him, whether she meant it or not. This entire conversation was likely to fall into the wasteland of forgotten drunk memories. Which was probably a good thing. “I like talking to you too. Most of the time. I'll see you when you get back.”

  “G’night, Matty.”

  He hung up the phone and set it on the floor next to his bed. That was either the best or the worst conversation he’d ever had with a girl. It was an eerie parallel to the general Julie situation: she would either be the best or the worst girl to come into his life. He would find out. He didn’t know when, but he would find out.

  The Polar Plunge

  Flat-Out Love, Chapter 23, MPOV

  Matt Watkins took over a year to learn how to walk after he first left the hospital. But he never lost faith in himself, even at that early age.

  Finn is God You mock me for my apathetic nature, but meh.

  Julie Seagle I bet the very first piñata was surprised. “Oh, hey a party! Cool! What’s the occa— HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?”

  Matt sat up in bed, wide awake and panicked. He touched a hand to his chest. He was sweating. It was still dark out, but he knew he wouldn’t go back to sleep. Something felt wrong. He threw on sweatpants, tucked his phone into the pocket, and tiptoed into the hall. The house was quiet, and Celeste’s door was still shut, but he quietly opened it and checked on his sister. She was still asleep. But something had woken him. He crossed the hall to Julie’s room and checked in there. Matt flipped on the light. The room was empty.

  Obviously it was empty. She was in California. And probably still drunk. He hoped she would sleep most of the day so that she wouldn’t have to be awake for a good portion of the nausea and headache that were bound to hit this morning. He sat down on her bed. Being in her room was comforting. And also sad. He flopped back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

  He lay there unmoving until light started to filter in through the windows. He was waiting. Waiting for what, he didn’t know, but there was most definitely a charge in the air that had him on high alert.

  His phone sounded and he pulled it from his pocket. It was a message from Julie to Finn, simply quoting an In Like Lions song that had come up in one of their chats. Yup, she was still drunk. Probably stumbling around in search of water and aspirin before she crashed back asleep.

  Matt got up and went downstairs. The kitchen floor was freezing and he regretted not having thrown on socks. A relentless chill swallowed the entire house today. It was wretched out: gray skies, frigid temperatures, and the threat of snow. So much for a spectacular start to the new year. He put the tea kettle on the stove and filled the French press with espresso grounds. The house was too quiet, even when the water boiled and the room filled with the kettle’s sharp whistle.

  Matt stared at the steam. Lyrics swirled in his head.

  I was broken… I am broken… Ride the wave be gone… Save me, come save me….

  Oh, hell. Julie’s e-mail wasn’t drunken nonsense.

  He lifted the kettle from the burner and slammed it down before turning off the heat. “Damn it, Julie! Damn it!”

  Matt was upstairs and in Celeste’s room in a heartbeat. “Celeste, we have to go. Come on! Get dressed!”

  A mass of curls stuck out from underneath the sheets. “Matty? I would prefer not to go anywhere right now as I am sleeping, and I suspect it is cold and despicable outside. I have a fondness for meteorology, and based on what I heard last night—”

  “Get! Up!” Matt pulled down the sheets and tugged at Celeste’s flannel pajama top.

  “Where is it that we must go at this early hour? What is of such an urgent nature?”

  “It’s Julie. She’s doing something stupid and dangerous, and we have to get her. Let’s go!”

  Celeste’s eyes opened wide. “Oh! We are off on an exciting rescue mission, is that correct?”

  “Yes.” Matt reached into a laundry basket of clean clothes and tossed jeans and a heavy sweater at Celeste. “Here. Just put these on over what you’re wearing. We have to go now.”

  “Matthew?” Celeste sat up and started pulling the jeans over her long underwear.

  “What?” he asked, exasperated at how slow she was.

  “Do you think that perhaps you too should put on some clothes?”

  Matt looked down. She had a point. He might need to wear something besides only sweatpants. “Yeah, okay. Fine. Just hurry.”

  Matt raced to his room, snatched some clothes from his dresser, and put on a T-shirt as he stumbled down the stairs, falling hard onto the landing. He slid his feet into socks and shoes, swearing too loudly. “Move it, Celeste!” he yelled. “And grab some warm clothes for Julie!”

  Celeste followed him to the foyer, where he grabbed the car keys and Julie’s boots. “This is a remarkably exciting way to start the day, isn’t it?” she asked happily.

  Matt yanked a wool hat over her head. “No. No, it is not.”

  They rushed through the frozen snow to the car. Matt cursed the old Volvo that was taking forever to heat up enough to drive. He could feel Celeste’s eyes boring into him expectantly.

  “What is it?” he snapped.

  “Are we going to the airport and flying to California? I do not want to go on an airplane. Not at all. But I will if we are to partake in a heroic cross-country mission.”

  “No, we’re not flying anywhere.” Matt turned on the wipers and cranked up the air, willing the windows to defrost enough so that he could see. “Julie is in Boston. I don’t think she ever left.”

  “Why is she not with her father? Why did she not tell us? Where has she been staying?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered. “Something must have happened.”

  “And what is this apparently stupid and dangerous activity in which she is engaging?” Celeste folded the clothes she had for Julie into a neat pile on her lap.

  “She is doing the goddamn Polar Plunge.” He was so mad that he could hardly speak the words aloud.

  “Is this a bear-related activity? That does indeed sound quite dangerous.”

  “What? No, it’s not a bear-related activity.” He wiped the window with his glove and then backed the car out of the driveway. “She’
s jumping into the Atlantic Ocean with a bunch of other insane people. It’s a New Year’s Day event. The water is freezing. “

  “How do you know that she is doing this?”

  “I just… do.”

  “Because you know her?” Celeste asked softly.

  Matt took a moment before he responded. “Yes. Because I know her.” And he knew that Julie wanted to do this Plunge because Finn had done it. Really, Matt and Finn had done it together. A matter of weeks before Finn died.

  “I do not think that sounds like an enjoyable activity in the least, but I also feel strongly that Julie must have a solid reason for participating in this cold-water plunging festival.”

  “It’s not a festival! And there is no good reason!” Matt looked at the clock. They might make it in time to stop her. Maybe. The ocean water could shut down her body. The current could pull her under. He knew the way the icy water felt as though it were burning your skin, and how the shock of the cold could energize you. It could also debilitate you. Matt and Finn had known how to handle the rush, plus they kept an eye on each other. Julie wouldn’t know what to do with the shock, and there was no one there to watch over her. Matt didn’t care that paramedics were present because in the wild crowd it would be easy to miss one girl vanishing into the dark ocean. “God, Julie, what the hell are you doing?” he yelled out.

  Celeste calmly retied her scarf. “It is my opinion that you are having an unreasonably strong reaction to how Julie has chosen to celebrate this holiday.”

  “I’ll react however I want to when someone does something so alarmingly outrageous.”

  “Do you mean when a woman who you desire to engage with above a friendship level does something so alarmingly—”

  “Celeste! Stop it,” Matt growled. He was not in the mood to wrangle Celeste’s dramatizations right now. He took a plastic baggie from his coat pocket and held it out. “Here, I have a muffin that I took to school the other day. You should eat something.”

  “I do not want a muffin.”

  “Yes, you do.” He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

  “No, I do not want a muffin.”

  Matt shook the bag wildly. “Just eat the muffin, okay?” he demanded. “You’re supposed to have breakfast!”

  Celeste took the bag from his hand. “Goodness. If eating the muffin will help alleviate this display of emotionality, I will be happy to accommodate you and eat the muffin.” She paused. “I would be happier if you had not sat on it and if it were not undeniably compressed into a near pancake.”

  “JUST EAT THE FREAKIN’ MUFFIN!” Matt flew through an intersection.

  “It is my suspicion that by freakin’ you really mean fu—”

  “How about we stop talking, okay?”

  “Yes. Let’s. I will eat my subpar, unusually shaped muffin disc now.” She patted his shoulder. “And we will find Julie, and she will be perfectly fine.”

  Matt took a deep breath. “I know.”

  They drove silently to the beach in South Boston.

  Matt took the first parking space he could find and slammed the car to a stop. “I’m sorry that I yelled at you, Celeste,” he said.

  “I know. I do not mind much as the source of your outburst that elicited such an elevated reaction is near and dear to us both.” She opened her door and stepped out.

  Matt shut off the ignition. He looked around the car, cursing himself for not having thought to bring towels, but he was relieved to see a blanket in the back. He grabbed it and opened his door, darting out to run through the parking lot and toward the beach. The sand slowed his pace, but he pushed ahead as fast as he could with Celeste trailing after him.

  “Look at all the swimmers, Matty! This is delightful!”

  The crowd on the beach was infuriating, and he weaved angrily around cheering people who clearly were not the least bit concerned about their loved ones who were in the Atlantic Ocean in January. He and Celeste finally got in front of the other onlookers, and he scanned the water, now full of barely dressed swimmers splashing around. “Where is she? Where is she? Do you see her?”

  “There! I believe that is her.” Celeste pointed a bit to their right. “She is wearing a bikini. A very small one.”

  It was Julie. He would know her anywhere. She ran through deep blue waves and then suddenly threw her whole body under water. Matt dropped the blanket and flew forward to the edge of the water. “Julie!” he called. He kept his eyes on her, but knelt down and started to untie his boots. He was going in after her.

  “No, Matty. Let her do this.”

  “Celeste, she’s going to drown.”

  “No, she is not going to drown. She wants this experience. Give it to her.”

  Julie burst through to the surface before diving under for a second time. She was crazy. Matt stood up and cupped his hands by his mouth and yelled out her name again.

  Sleet was falling, and the sky was darkening as deep gray clouds took over the sky. He watched as she stood in waist-level water and slowly began to drop. The cold had gotten to her, he knew. She was going under now, and not by her own will.

  When you are numb, you lose control, you lose reason, you lose care.

  “Julie!” Matt screamed as loudly as he could. He began to unzip his coat.

  Celeste grabbed his arm. “No, Matthew. It is all right. There is someone there.”

  Matt shook with relief as an older, muscular man with a frizzy white ponytail lifted Julie into his arms just before she disappeared under the dark water. Matt and Celeste waved their arms at the man and he carried Julie their way. Celeste handed Matt the blanket, and he held it open. The older man neared them with a smile. Julie was so frozen that she didn’t even look their way. “This girl belong to you?”

  Matt nodded wordlessly, and the man set Julie’s feet gently on the sand in front of them before he disappeared into the crowd. Relief rushed through Matt as he wrapped the blanket around Julie. She was shaking in his arms, her body fighting frantically to warm up.

  He held her tightly, rubbing her arms. “Oh my God, Julie! What were you doing?”

  “Matt? Did you see me?” She buried her head against him.

  “Yeah. I saw you.” He couldn’t conceal his anger.

  “Did you see Santa Claus, too?” She was hoarse from the cold.

  “That wasn’t Santa Claus. That was one of the L Street Brownies who rescued you from certain death. It was considerate of him, after you crashed their event.” Matt tightened the blanket around her and started furiously rubbing her back. “We have to get you warmed up. Dummy. Hey, can you get her sweatpants and socks and boots on? Hurry.”

  Celeste helped Julie move her legs into her clothes. “I saw you, too, and I thought you were brilliant! Really stupendous!”

  “Celeste?” Julie tried to turn her head, but Matt kept his arms around her, keeping the blanket over her wet hair and protecting her from the wind. He could hear her teeth chattering through the blanket, for God’s sake, and he was livid with her for doing this to herself.

  “I’m here!” Celeste said excitedly. “I’m attending to your blue feet!”

  “Why are you here? How?” Julie asked.

  Matt lowered the blanket for a moment so that he could pull the shirt and sweatshirt they’d brought over her head. What was she thinking, wearing this tiny bikini out in public? She was lucky that she hadn’t been mauled by horny swimmers. Even nearly blue, she was gorgeous. Anyone would think so. Julie met his eyes finally, and he frowned as he wrapped the blanket back around her.

  “Finn figured it out. He sent me to get you,” he whispered into her ear. “What the hell were you thinking? We could see you standing out there in the ocean, not moving. You’re lucky you’re not dead. Goddamn it, Julie. Why would you do that? Why are you here and not in California with your father?” He was angry and he couldn’t hide it.

  Julie dropped her head forward and leaned into him. “Because he’s a jerk, and I’m a liar.” Her voice caught and she
started sobbing.

  Matt didn’t say anything, but he kept rubbing her back. Celeste moved behind Julie, pressing her between them. Matt didn’t know what to say, so he let Julie’s tears fall while he and Celeste held her.

  “Please don’t cry, Julie. You were simply wonderful out there,” Celeste said.

  “She was not wonderful, Celeste. She was a dope.” Matt managed to soften his tone. “But we’re glad you’re okay. You are okay, aren’t you? I mean… physically?” Clearly she was a mental basket case right now.

  Julie nodded and then turned her head, still resting it against Matt’s chest. He was relieved beyond words that she was safe.

  “Matt?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Did we talk on the phone last night?”

  He paused. Oh, no. “We did.”

  “Did I ask you…?” Julie seemed to fumble for words. “Did I ask you if you were a skilled lover?”

  Matt cleared his throat and paused again. He’d been hoping that conversation was lost forever. “You did.”

  Celeste burst out laughing.

  Julie tucked her head down lower. “Sorry.”

  “Let’s get you into the car. It should still be warm.”

  “Celeste, can you grab my bag?” Julie pointed from under the blanket to the benches on the other side of the beach.

  “Absolutely. Hey, Julie?”

  “Yeah, kiddo?”

  “I’m glad that you’re here.” Celeste beamed. “Home.”

  “Me too.”

  “Meet us at the car, okay?” Matt stepped away from Julie and turned her in the direction of the street. Home. Celeste was right. Julie’s home was with them.

  “So, Matt,” she started and looked up at him smiling. God, he’d missed that smile. “Last night? What was your answer?”

  “I’m not going to tell you. Now maybe you won’t drink so much again.”

  Julie sighed. “Believe me. Lesson learned.”

  Matt got her into the front seat and cranked up the heat. Celeste bounded into the car with Julie’s bag, and they started the drive home. The frozen girl in the seat next to him periodically shuddered and held her hands in front of the car vents that didn’t seem to be producing enough heat for even a mildly chilly day.