Torn

But I wanted to get a handle on my abilities, so I figured it’d do me good to spend the day doing something other than moping around. I dressed quickly and left my room to find Tove chatting with Duncan.

  “Ready?” Tove asked without looking at me. He started walking before I answered.

  “Duncan, you don’t need to come with us,” I told him as I hurried after Tove. Duncan followed me the way he always did, but he slowed.

  “It’s probably best if he does,” Tove said, tucking his hair behind his ears.

  “Why?” I asked, but Duncan smiled, excited to be included.

  “We need someone to test on,” Tove replied matter-of-factly, and Duncan’s smile instantly faded.

  “Where are we going?” I nearly jogged to keep up with Tove, and I wished he would slow down.

  “Did you hear that?” Tove stopped abruptly, and Duncan almost ran into him.

  “What?” Duncan looked around, as if expecting an attacker to be waiting behind a closed door.

  “I didn’t hear anything,” I said.

  “No, of course you didn’t. ” Tove waved me off.

  “Why wouldn’t I? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Because you’re the one that made the sound. ” Tove sighed, still focused on Duncan. “Are you sure you didn’t hear anything?”

  “No,” Duncan said. He looked over at me, hoping I could shed light on Tove’s random behavior, but I shrugged. I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Tove, what’s going on?” I asked, speaking loudly so he’d pay attention to me.

  “You need to be careful. ” Tove cocked his head, listening. “You’re quiet now. But when you’re upset, angry, scared, irritated, you send things out. You’re not controlling it, I don’t think. I can pick it up, because I’m sensitive. Duncan can’t and the average Trylle can’t, because you’re not directing it at them. But if I can hear it, others might too. ”

  “What? I didn’t say anything,” I said, growing more frustrated with him.

  “You thought, I wish he’d slow down,” Tove said.

  “I wasn’t using persuasion or anything. ” I was dumbfounded.

  “I know. You’ll get a handle on it, though,” he assured me, and then started walking again.

  He led us downstairs. I’m not sure where I thought he’d take us, but I was definitely surprised by where we ended up—the ballroom that had been devastated by the Vittra attack. It had once been luxurious, very much like a ballroom from a Disney fairy tale. Marble floors, white walls with gold detailing, skylights, diamond chandeliers.

  Page 25

  After the attack, it looked very different. The glass ceiling had been crashed in, and to keep the elements out, blue and clear tarps had been laid over it, giving the room an odd glow. Shattered chandeliers and glass were still on the floor, as well as broken chairs and tables. The floor and walls were blackened with damage from the fire and smoke.

  “Why are we here?” I asked. My voice still echoed, thanks to the room’s massive size, but it wasn’t as crisp thanks to the tarps.

  “I like it here. ” Tove held his hands out, using his telekinesis to push the debris to the sides of the room.

  “Does the Queen know where we are?” Duncan asked. He was uncomfortable being here, and I tried to remember if he’d been present during the attack. I hadn’t been paying that much attention, and I’d met far too many people that night to say for certain.

  Tove shrugged. “I’m not sure. ”

  “Does she know you’re training me?” I asked. He nodded, looking around with his back to me. “Why are you training me? Your abilities aren’t the same as mine. ”

  “They’re similar. ” Tove turned around to face me. “And no two people are exactly alike. ”

  “Have you trained anyone before?”

  “No. But I’m the best suited to train you,” he said and started rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

  “Why?” I asked, and I could see Duncan wearing the same dubious expression I was.

  “You’re too powerful for everyone else. They wouldn’t be able to help you tap into your potential because they don’t understand it the way I do. ” He’d finished rolling up his sleeves and put his hands on his hips. “Are you ready?”

  “I guess. ” I shrugged, unsure what I needed to be ready for.

  “Move this stuff. ” He gestured vaguely to the mess around the room.

  “You mean with my mind?” I shook my head. “I can’t do that. ”

  “Have you tried?” Tove countered, his eyes sparkling.

  “Well … no,” I admitted.

  “Do it. ”

  “How?”

  He shrugged. “Figure it out. ”

  “You’re really good at this training thing,” I said with a sigh.

  Tove laughed, but I did as I was told. I decided to start small, so I picked a broken chair nearby. I stared at in concentration. The only thing I knew how to use was persuasion, so I thought I’d go that way. In my mind, I repeated, I want the chair to move, I want—

  “Nope!” Tove said, snapping me out of it. “You’re thinking about it wrong. ”

  “How am I supposed to think about it?”

  “It’s not a person. You can’t tell it what to do. You have to move it,” Tove said, as if that clarified his point.

  “How?” I asked again, but he didn’t say anything. “It’d be easier if you told me. ”

  “I can’t tell you. That’s not how it works. ”

  I grumbled a few unseemly remarks under my breath then I turned to the chair, preparing to get down to business.

  So I couldn’t tell the chair to move. I had to move it. How did that translate to thought? I squinted, hoping that might help somehow, and repeated, Move the chair, move the chair.

  “Now look what you’ve done,” Tove said.

  I didn’t think anything at all had happened, and then I saw Duncan walking toward the chair.

  “Duncan, what are you doing?” I asked.

  “I, uh … moving the chair. I guess. ” He seemed confused but coherent, and once he picked up the chair, he gave me an even more bewildered look. “I don’t know where to, though. ”

  “Set it anywhere,” I told him absently and turned to Tove. “I did that?”

  “Of course you did that. I could hear you chanting loud and clear, and if you’d harnessed it better, I’d be the one picking up the chair. ” He crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a look that bordered on disapproving.

  “I didn’t try to do that. I wasn’t even looking at him. ”

  “That makes it even worse, doesn’t it?” Tove asked.

  “I don’t understand,” Duncan said. He’d set down the chair, and, now free of his duty, walked over to us. “What are you expecting her to do?”

  “You need to control your energy before someone gets hurt. ” Tove looked at me solemnly, his mossy eyes bravely meeting mine for almost a minute before he turned away. He gestured around his head, in much the same way Loki had when he explained how he knew I had persuasion. “You have so much going on. It comes off like a…”

  “Static?” I suggested.

  “Exactly!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “You need to tune it, get your frequencies in check, like a radio. ”

  “I would love to. Just tell me how. ”

  “It’s not a matter of turning a dial. You have no on or off switch. ” He walked around in a large lazy circle. “It’s something you have to practice. It’s more like being potty-trained. You have to learn when to hold it and when to release. ”

  “That’s a pretty sexy analogy,” I said.

  “You can move the chair. ” Tove stopped suddenly. “But that can wait. You need to learn to rein in your persuasion. ” He looked at Duncan. “Duncan, you don’t mind being experimented on, do you?”

  “Um … I guess not?”

  “T
ell him to do something. Anything. ” He tilted his head, still watching Duncan, then turned to me. “But make sure I can’t hear. ”

  “How? I don’t even know how you’re hearing,” I pointed out.

  “Focus. You have to focus your energy. It’s imperative. ”

  “How?” I repeated.

  He kept telling me to do things without giving me any clue how. He might as well have been telling me to build a damn rocket ship. I had no idea what to do.

  “You were more focused when you were around Finn,” Tove said. “You were more grounded, in the way electricity is grounded. ”

  “Well, he’s not here,” I snapped.

  “It doesn’t matter. He didn’t do anything,” Tove continued, unfazed. “You’re the one with the power. You grounded yourself around him. You tell me how. ”

  I didn’t want to think about Finn or the way I had been around him. One of the reasons I had been excited for this training was because it would distract me from thoughts of him. Now Tove was telling me that Finn was the key to my success. Perfect.

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  Instead of yelling at Tove, I walked away. I hated the way he seemed to know everything, but lacked the ability to articulate anything. I stretched my arms and rolled my neck, working out the tension. Duncan started to say something, but Tove shushed him.

  Finn. When I was around Finn, what did I do differently? He made me crazy. He made my heart beat too fast and my stomach swirl, and it was hard to take my eyes off him. Whenever he was around, I’d hardly been able to think of anything.

  And that was it. It was almost too simple.

  When Finn was around, my focus had been on him. That restrained my energy somehow. If my conscious mind focused on something, the rest of my mind would pull itself in. Maybe my energy was going crazy now because I was trying not to think of Finn.

  Finn wasn’t the key. But when he’d been around, I had let my mind focus. When he wasn’t, I tried not to think of anything, because everything reminded me of him. Everything scattered all over, latching on to anything it could.

  I closed my eyes. Think of something. Focus on anything.

  Finn came to my mind first, the way he always did, but I pushed him away. I could think of something else. The first thing I thought of after him was Loki, and that shocked me, so I discounted him instantly. I didn’t want to focus on him. Or anyone, for that matter.

  I thought of the garden behind the palace. It was gorgeous, and I loved it. Elora had painted a beautiful picture of it, but it didn’t really do the place justice. I remembered the way the flowers smelled, and the way the grass felt cool on my bare feet. Butterflies had flown about, and I could hear the stream babbling past me.

  “Try it now,” Tove suggested.

  I turned to look at Duncan. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, and he gulped, as if he were afraid I might slap him. Keeping the image of the garden in my mind, I started repeating, Whistle “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. ” It seemed mundane, but that was the point. I didn’t want to hurt him.

  His face relaxed, his eyes went blank, and then he started whistling. Feeling pleased with myself, I looked over at Tove.

  “Well?” I asked hopefully.

  “I didn’t hear it. ” Tove smiled. “Excellent work. ”

  I continued trying things out on Duncan the rest of the day. After the first few didn’t turn out painful, Duncan became more at ease with the whole thing. He was a terrific sport about it, considering I made him whistle, dance, clap, and do a whole number of silly things.

  Tove went on to explain what had gone wrong with Rhys and his inability to sit. Apparently, the more focus and intensity I used when trying to persuade people, the more permanent the command would become.

  Rhys was human, so his mind was already more malleable than a Trylle’s, and he was open to persuasion. I’d barely have to try to get it to work on him. I’d used far more energy than I needed to. I needed to learn to control the doses of my persuasion to match my target.

  Of course, I could undo any command I made, like how I redirected Rhys from sitting to standing, and vice versa. But with unfocused energy, it was possible I could persuade people without even trying, the way I had gotten Duncan to move the chair.

  I spent the rest of the day trying to restrain my energy, since it was potentially very dangerous. By the end of the day, I felt completely drained. It didn’t help matters that I hadn’t stopped for a lunch break, not that I felt like eating anyway.

  Tove tried to assure me that eventually this would all be second nature, like breathing or blinking. But the way I felt right now, I didn’t believe him.

  I walked Tove to the front door, then I headed up to my room for a shower and a nap. Duncan went down to his quarters, daring to leave me alone so he could get in a nap himself. Being the guinea pig had been tiring for him too.

  On the way to my room, I got sidetracked.

  “This is Queen Sybilla,” Willa was saying, pointing to a painting on the wall. Matt stood next to her, admiring the artwork as she explained it. “She’s one of the most revered monarchs. I think she ruled over the Long Winter War, which I guess is much worse than it sounds. ”

  “A long winter?” Matt smirked, and she laughed. It was a nice sound; I don’t think I’d heard her laugh that way before.

  “I know. It’s silly. ” She had her hair up in a ponytail, making her look more playful, and she smoothed out a flyaway hair. “To be honest, most of this stuff is rather silly. ”

  “Yeah, I can tell. ” Matt smiled.

  “Hey, guys,” I said tentatively, walking toward them.

  “Oh, hey!” Willa smiled wider, and they both turned to face me.

  As usual, she was dressed to the nines and looked stunning. Her top was low cut, and a diamond pendant rested just above her cleavage. She wore lots of jewelry—a charm bracelet, anklet, earrings, and rings—but that was all part of being Trylle. We had a fascination with trinkets. I wasn’t as bad as Willa, but I’d always had a penchant for rings.

  “Where have you been?” Matt asked, but he didn’t sound concerned or angry. Merely curious.

  “Training with Tove. ” I shrugged, downplaying the event. I expected Willa to squeal and press me for details about him, but she didn’t register any excitement. “What are you guys doing?”

  “I came to see if you wanted to do anything, and your brother was wandering around here like a lost puppy. ” She laughed a little, and he shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

  “I was not a lost puppy. ” He grinned, but his cheeks reddened. “I had nothing to do here. ”

  “Right. So I thought I’d show him around. ” Willa gestured to the halls. “I’ve been trying to explain your formidable ancestry. ”

  “I really don’t get it,” Matt said almost wearily.

  “I don’t really either,” I admitted, and they both laughed.

  “Are you hungry?” Matt asked, and I was pleased to see him returning to a subject that felt more normal. Like worrying if I’d eaten. “I was about to go downstairs and make supper for me and Rhys and that girl with a weird name. ”

  “Rhiannon?” Willa suggested.

  “Yeah, that’s her. ” Matt nodded.

  “Oh, she’s real nice,” Willa said, and my jaw dropped.

  Rhiannon was Willa’s mänsklig, meaning she was the girl that Willa had been switched at birth with. Rhiannon was friends with Rhys and incredibly sweet, but I’d never heard Willa talk about her that way.

  “Are she and Rhys dating or something?” Matt asked, looking at Willa.

  Page 27

  “I don’t know. She has a big crush on him, but I’m not sure how he feels about her. ” Willa sounded happy about the prospect. Normally, when she talked about Rhys or any mänks, she sounded bored.

  “So what do you think?” Matt turned to me. “Are you gonna eat supper?”

&nb
sp; “No, thanks. ” I shook my head. “I’m pretty beat. I need a shower and a nap. ”

  “Are you sure?” Matt asked, and I nodded. “What about you, Willa? Do you have dinner plans?”

  “Um, no. ” She smiled at him. “I’d love to eat here. ”

  “Awesome,” Matt said.

  I extricated myself from the conversation as quickly as possible. It was too weird for me to handle. Willa was being way too nice, and now she was willingly eating food prepared by a mänks.

  That said nothing for the way Matt acted, which felt … not quite right. It was hard to put my finger on what exactly was going on, but I was relieved to be away from them.

  ELEVEN

  little star

  Another long day of training did nothing to improve my mood. My control was getting better, and that was good. But it was getting harder not to think of Finn. I thought time would make it easier, but it didn’t. The ache only seemed to grow.

  We spent the morning in the throne room, where I’d never been before. It was really an atrium, with a domed skylight stretching high above. The room was circular, the rounded wall behind the throne made entirely of glass. Vines grew over the ornate silver and gold designs etched on the walls, reminding me of the outside of the palace.

  Given the height of the ceiling, the room itself didn’t seem that large, but it didn’t need to be. Tove offhandedly said it was only used for meeting dignitaries.

  A solitary throne sat in the center of the room, padded with lush red velvet. Two smaller chairs sat on either side, but they weren’t as elegant. Instead of wood, the throne was made of platinum that wove itself into lacy designs. Diamonds and rubies were inlaid into the metal.

  I walked over to it, gingerly touching the soft velvet. It felt brand-new, too plush to have ever been used. The heavy metal arms were surprisingly smooth under my fingertips. I ran my hand over it, tracing the swirling patterns of the latticing.

  “Unless you plan to move that with your mind, I suggest you get practicing,” Tove said.

  “Why are we practicing in here?” I turned to look at him, pulling myself away from the chair. I don’t know why, but something about it captivated me, made this all the more real.

  “I like the space. ” He gestured vaguely at the airiness of the room. “It helps my thoughts. The ballroom is being worked on today, so we had to move. ”

  Almost reluctantly, I walked away from the throne and went over to Tove to see what cryptic lesson he had in store for me. Duncan stood off to the side of the room for most of the morning, getting a reprieve from being my test subject. Tove wanted me to work on restraining my thoughts again, this time using tactics that made even less sense to me.

  I stood facing a wall, and while I counted up to a thousand, I was supposed to picture the garden and use my persuasion. Since I wasn’t using it on anyone, I wasn’t exactly sure how I’d be able to tell if it was working or not, but Tove said the point was that I learn to flex my psychic muscles. My mind would have to learn to juggle a lot of ideas, some of them conflicting, in order for me to get control over this.

  While I practiced, he sprawled on the floor, lying on the cold marble. Duncan eventually tired and went over to the throne, sitting in it with one of his legs draped over the side. I felt a little irritated by that, but I wasn’t sure why, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t support aristocracy, and I wasn’t going to enforce it on Duncan.