Joseph Andrews, Vol. 2

  CHAPTER XIII.

  _A curious dialogue which passed between Mr Abraham Adams and Mr PeterPounce, better worth reading than all the works of Colley Cibber andmany others._

  The chariot had not proceeded far before Mr Adams observed it was a veryfine day. "Ay, and a very fine country too," answered Pounce.--"I shouldthink so more," returned Adams, "if I had not lately travelled over theDowns, which I take to exceed this and all other prospects in theuniverse."--"A fig for prospects!" answered Pounce; "one acre here isworth ten there; and for my own part, I have no delight in the prospectof any land but my own."--"Sir," said Adams, "you can indulge yourselfwith many fine prospects of that kind."--"I thank God I have a little,"replied the other, "with which I am content, and envy no man: I have alittle, Mr Adams, with which I do as much good as I can." Adamsanswered, "That riches without charity were nothing worth; for that theywere a blessing only to him who made them a blessing to others."--"Youand I," said Peter, "have different notions of charity. I own, as it isgenerally used, I do not like the word, nor do I think it becomes one ofus gentlemen; it is a mean parson-like quality; though I would not infermany parsons have it neither."--"Sir," said Adams, "my definition ofcharity is, a generous disposition to relieve the distressed."--"Thereis something in that definition," answered Peter, "which I like wellenough; it is, as you say, a disposition, and does not so much consistin the act as in the disposition to do it. But, alas! Mr Adams, who aremeant by the distressed? Believe me, the distresses of mankind aremostly imaginary, and it would be rather folly than goodness to relievethem."--"Sure, sir," replied Adams, "hunger and thirst, cold andnakedness, and other distresses which attend the poor, can never be saidto be imaginary evils."--"How can any man complain of hunger," saidPeter, "in a country where such excellent salads are to be gathered inalmost every field? or of thirst, where every river and stream producessuch delicious potations? And as for cold and nakedness, they are evilsintroduced by luxury and custom. A man naturally wants clothes no morethan a horse or any other animal; and there are whole nations who gowithout them; but these are things perhaps which you, who do not knowthe world"--"You will pardon me, sir," returned Adams; "I have read ofthe Gymnosophists."--"A plague of your Jehosaphats!" cried Peter; "thegreatest fault in our constitution is the provision made for the poor,except that perhaps made for some others. Sir, I have not an estatewhich doth not contribute almost as much again to the poor as to theland-tax; and I do assure you I expect to come myself to the parish inthe end." To which Adams giving a dissenting smile, Peter thusproceeded: "I fancy, Mr Adams, you are one of those who imagine I am alump of money; for there are many who, I fancy, believe that not only mypockets, but my whole clothes, are lined with bank-bills; but I assureyou, you are all mistaken; I am not the man the world esteems me. If Ican hold my head above water it is all I can. I have injured myself bypurchasing. I have been too liberal of my money. Indeed, I fear my heirwill find my affairs in a worse situation than they are reputed to be.Ah! he will have reason to wish I had loved money more and land less.Pray, my good neighbour, where should I have that quantity of riches theworld is so liberal to bestow on me? Where could I possibly, without Ihad stole it, acquire such a treasure?" "Why, truly," says Adams, "Ihave been always of your opinion; I have wondered as well as yourselfwith what confidence they could report such things of you, which have tome appeared as mere impossibilities; for you know, sir, and I have oftenheard you say it, that your wealth is of your own acquisition; and canit be credible that in your short time you should have amassed such aheap of treasure as these people will have you worth? Indeed, had youinherited an estate like Sir Thomas Booby, which had descended in yourfamily for many generations, they might have had a colour for theirassertions." "Why, what do they say I am worth?" cries Peter, with amalicious sneer. "Sir," answered Adams, "I have heard some aver you arenot worth less than twenty thousand pounds." At which Peter frowned."Nay, sir," said Adams, "you ask me only the opinion of others; for myown part, I have always denied it, nor did I ever believe you couldpossibly be worth half that sum." "However, Mr Adams," said he,squeezing him by the hand, "I would not sell them all I am worth fordouble that sum; and as to what you believe, or they believe, I care nota fig, no not a fart. I am not poor because you think me so, nor becauseyou attempt to undervalue me in the country. I know the envy of mankindvery well; but I thank Heaven I am above them. It is true, my wealth isof my own acquisition. I have not an estate, like Sir Thomas Booby, thathas descended in my family through many generations; but I know heirs ofsuch estates who are forced to travel about the country like some peoplein torn cassocks, and might be glad to accept of a pitiful curacy forwhat I know. Yes, sir, as shabby fellows as yourself, whom no man of myfigure, without that vice of good-nature about him, would suffer to ridein a chariot with him." "Sir," said Adams, "I value not your chariot ofa rush; and if I had known you had intended to affront me, I would havewalked to the world's end on foot ere I would have accepted a place init. However, sir, I will soon rid you of that inconvenience;" and, sosaying, he opened the chariot door, without calling to the coachman, andleapt out into the highway, forgetting to take his hat along with him;which, however, Mr Pounce threw after him with great violence. Josephand Fanny stopt to bear him company the rest of the way, which was notabove a mile.

  BOOK IV.