Joseph Andrews, Vol. 2

  CHAPTER I.

  _The arrival of Lady Booby and the rest at Booby-hall._

  The coach and six, in which Lady Booby rode, overtook the othertravellers as they entered the parish. She no sooner saw Joseph than hercheeks glowed with red, and immediately after became as totally pale.She had in her surprize almost stopt her coach; but recollected herselftimely enough to prevent it. She entered the parish amidst the ringingof bells and the acclamations of the poor, who were rejoiced to seetheir patroness returned after so long an absence, during which time allher rents had been drafted to London, without a shilling being spentamong them, which tended not a little to their utter impoverishing; for,if the court would be severely missed in such a city as London, how muchmore must the absence of a person of great fortune be felt in a littlecountry village, for whose inhabitants such a family finds a constantemployment and supply; and with the offals of whose table the infirm,aged, and infant poor are abundantly fed, with a generosity which hathscarce a visible effect on their benefactors' pockets!

  But, if their interest inspired so public a joy into everycountenance, how much more forcibly did the affection which they boreparson Adams operate upon all who beheld his return! They flockedabout him like dutiful children round an indulgent parent, and vyedwith each other in demonstrations of duty and love. The parson on hisside shook every one by the hand, enquired heartily after the healthsof all that were absent, of their children, and relations; and expresta satisfaction in his face which nothing but benevolence made happy byits objects could infuse.

  Nor did Joseph and Fanny want a hearty welcome from all who saw them. Inshort, no three persons could be more kindly received, as, indeed, noneever more deserved to be universally beloved.

  Adams carried his fellow-travellers home to his house, where he insistedon their partaking whatever his wife, whom, with his children, he foundin health and joy, could provide:--where we shall leave them enjoyingperfect happiness over a homely meal, to view scenes of greatersplendour, but infinitely less bliss.

  Our more intelligent readers will doubtless suspect, by this secondappearance of Lady Booby on the stage, that all was not ended by thedismission of Joseph; and, to be honest with them, they are in theright: the arrow had pierced deeper than she imagined; nor was the woundso easily to be cured. The removal of the object soon cooled her rage,but it had a different effect on her love; that departed with hisperson, but this remained lurking in her mind with his image. Restless,interrupted slumbers, and confused horrible dreams were her portion thefirst night. In the morning, fancy painted her a more delicious scene;but to delude, not delight her; for, before she could reach the promisedhappiness, it vanished, and left her to curse, not bless, the vision.

  She started from her sleep, her imagination being all on fire with thephantom, when, her eyes accidentally glancing towards the spot whereyesterday the real Joseph had stood, that little circumstance raised hisidea in the liveliest colours in her memory. Each look, each word, eachgesture rushed back on her mind with charms which all his coldness couldnot abate. Nay, she imputed that to his youth, his folly, his awe, hisreligion, to everything but what would instantly have produced contempt,want of passion for the sex, or that which would have roused her hatred,want of liking to her.

  Reflection then hurried her farther, and told her she must see thisbeautiful youth no more; nay, suggested to her that she herself haddismissed him for no other fault than probably that of too violent anawe and respect for herself; and which she ought rather to have esteemeda merit, the effects of which were besides so easily and surely to havebeen removed; she then blamed, she cursed the hasty rashness of hertemper; her fury was vented all on herself, and Joseph appeared innocentin her eyes. Her passion at length grew so violent, that it forced heron seeking relief, and now she thought of recalling him: but prideforbad that; pride, which soon drove all softer passions from her soul,and represented to her the meanness of him she was fond of. That thoughtsoon began to obscure his beauties; contempt succeeded next, and thendisdain, which presently introduced her hatred of the creature who hadgiven her so much uneasiness. These enemies of Joseph had no soonertaken possession of her mind than they insinuated to her a thousandthings in his disfavour; everything but dislike of her person; a thoughtwhich, as it would have been intolerable to bear, she checked the momentit endeavoured to arise. Revenge came now to her assistance; and sheconsidered her dismission of him, stript, and without a character, withthe utmost pleasure. She rioted in the several kinds of misery which herimagination suggested to her might be his fate; and, with a smilecomposed of anger, mirth, and scorn, viewed him in the rags in which herfancy had drest him.

  Mrs Slipslop, being summoned, attended her mistress, who had now in herown opinion totally subdued this passion. Whilst she was dressing sheasked if that fellow had been turned away according to her orders.Slipslop answered, she had told her ladyship so (as indeed shehad).--"And how did he behave?" replied the lady. "Truly, madam," criesSlipslop, "in such a manner that infected everybody who saw him. Thepoor lad had but little wages to receive; for he constantly allowed hisfather and mother half his income; so that, when your ladyship's liverywas stript off, he had not wherewithal to buy a coat, and must have gonenaked if one of the footmen had not incommodated him with one; andwhilst he was standing in his shirt (and, to say truth, he was anamorous figure), being told your ladyship would not give him acharacter, he sighed, and said he had done nothing willingly to offend;that for his part, he should always give your ladyship a good characterwherever he went; and he prayed God to bless you; for you was the bestof ladies, though his enemies had set you against him. I wish you hadnot turned him away; for I believe you have not a faithfuller servant inthe house."--"How came you then," replied the lady, "to advise me toturn him away?"--"I, madam!" said Slipslop; "I am sure you will do methe justice to say, I did all in my power to prevent it; but I saw yourladyship was angry; and it is not the business of us upper servants tohinterfear on these occasions." "And was it not you, audacious wretch!"cried the lady, "who made me angry? Was it not your tittle-tattle, inwhich I believe you belyed the poor fellow, which incensed me againsthim? He may thank you for all that hath happened; and so may I for theloss of a good servant, and one who probably had more merit than all ofyou. Poor fellow! I am charmed with his goodness to his parents. Why didnot you tell me of that, but suffer me to dismiss so good a creaturewithout a character? I see the reason of your whole behaviour now aswell as your complaint; you was jealous of the wenches." "I jealous!"said Slipslop; "I assure you, I look upon myself as his betters; I amnot meat for a footman, I hope." These words threw the lady into aviolent passion, and she sent Slipslop from her presence, who departed,tossing her nose, and crying, "Marry, come up! there are some peoplemore jealous than I, I believe." Her lady affected not to hear thewords, though in reality she did, and understood them too. Now ensued asecond conflict, so like the former, that it might savour of repetitionto relate it minutely. It may suffice to say that Lady Booby found goodreason to doubt whether she had so absolutely conquered her passion asshe had flattered herself; and, in order to accomplish it quite, took aresolution, more common than wise, to retire immediately into thecountry. The reader hath long ago seen the arrival of Mrs Slipslop, whomno pertness could make her mistress resolve to part with; lately, thatof Mr Pounce, her forerunners; and, lastly, that of the lady herself.

  The morning after her arrival being Sunday, she went to church, to thegreat surprize of everybody, who wondered to see her ladyship, being novery constant church-woman, there so suddenly upon her journey. Josephwas likewise there; and I have heard it was remarked that she fixed hereyes on him much more than on the parson; but this I believe to be onlya malicious rumour. When the prayers were ended Mr Adams stood up, andwith a loud voice pronounced, "I publish the banns of marriage betweenJoseph Andrews and Frances Goodwill, both of this parish," &c. Whetherthis had any effect on Lady Booby or no, who was then in her pew, whichthe congregation could not see into, I could never
discover: butcertain it is that in about a quarter of an hour she stood up, anddirected her eyes to that part of the church where the women sat, andpersisted in looking that way during the remainder of the sermon in soscrutinizing a manner, and with so angry a countenance, that most ofthe women were afraid she was offended at them. The moment she returnedhome she sent for Slipslop into her chamber, and told her she wonderedwhat that impudent fellow Joseph did in that parish? Upon whichSlipslop gave her an account of her meeting Adams with him on the road,and likewise the adventure with Fanny. At the relation of which thelady often changed her countenance; and when she had heard all, sheordered Mr Adams into her presence, to whom she behaved as the readerwill see in the next chapter.