Shattering Zoella's Demons

  Pushing the pain away, Zoe made Kenny stroll through the mall with her searching for a stationery store that could help them stock up on kite supplies. They had a good time and she found herself laughing when Kenny made jokes about everything in the mall.

  Once they had everything they needed, he took her to a quiet restaurant and made her order a huge lunch. She was trying to eat her way through it when he said,

  “I have to tell you something.”

  “You getting married already happened,” Zoe teased. “Stop looking so solemn. What is it?”

  Kenny sighed at her light mood, he hated to darken it but she had to know. “I talked with Jess and your mum. The reason they came here is because they know the truth.”

  “The truth about what,” Zoe asked sipping water from her glass. Her dark eyes’ moving over Kenny’s worried features. “What Kenny?”

  “I know you didn’t want them to know, but it seemed right,” Kenny said. “They know everything.”

  Zoe stared at him for a moment. “Everything is a lot, Kenny.”

  “I know,” Kenny sighed. “But it’s time to figure this out, especially now with that bastard coming out.”

  “I’m not ready for them to know,” Zoe said quietly.

  “You are.” Kenny insisted reaching across the table to take her hand.

  “No, I’m not.” Zoe protested, shaking her head. “They won’t understand. Why those things happened, why it was such a hard thing for me to be—, normal.”

  “But they do,” Kenny soothed. “Believe me, I’d never put you in a position that will cause you pain, Zoe. Trust me on this okay.”

  “It doesn’t change anything,” Zoe said after a while.

  “I know,” Kenny said with a knowing glance. “I just needed you to know that they know.”

  She nodded and Kenny sighed. He watched her play with her food. She wanted to ask something, so he waited.

  “Kenny,” she said. “You said Robbie was devastated. W-will you tell me what happened?”

  “Zoe.”

  “Please.”

  Kenny sighed knowing she’d keep insisting regardless. He told her about the anger and the bitterness, keeping the episode about Robbie wanting to burn her stuff to himself. That would only hurt her, he thought.

  “He didn’t want to see me again,” Kenny said. “Kelly, Chris, we were all shut out from him. Robbie thinks we knew about Franco.”

  Zoe appeared stricken, her face pale underneath her tan. She dropped her fork and leaned back in her chair.

  “I hurt him more than I thought,” she said in a whisper.

  “It can be fixed; all you have to do is call him,” Kenny said.

  “Do you know your friend so little?” Zoe asked in surprise. “Robbie will never forgive me. I hurt more than his heart; I trampled on his pride too. It will be hard for him to even look at me again.”

  “He loves you,” Kenny said. “Trust me, when he knows the truth, none of this will matter.”

  “I won’t hurt him more by subjecting him to my past,” Zoe said. Pushing her unfinished food away, she stood up. “We’ve gotta go. Zan’s waiting.”

  “But Zoe—

  “Come on, Kenny, traffic gets wild in these parts,” Zoe said already heading out.

  Kenny got up, and dealt with the bill, his thoughts on Zoe and Robbie. May be it was time to step in, he wondered. They needed each other. Separately they were just screwing things up between them. Shaking his head, he made a note in his head to call Kelly. She would know where Robbie was right now.

  ******

  Chapter Sixteen

  It was dark, always dark.

  ‘I won’t tell.’ she said, gripping the chair arms. Her voice shaky as she tried to push away from the face closing in on hers, he was big and so strong. She couldn’t fight him off. ‘I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I won’t tell.’

  He ran a finger down her cheek making her shiver in disgust and fear.

  ‘So young,’ he leered.

  She wanted to scream. She had to get away; she didn’t like the look in his eyes.

  ‘Please,’ she pleaded, ‘Let me go, let me go—

  He was holding the chair, his face moving closer, she tried to get away.

  ‘Hush.’

  ‘Let me go,’ she pleaded, ‘Let me go, please, let me go.’

  “Zoe, it’s alright, you’re safe.”

  ‘Let me go!’

  Athena swallowed tears at the familiar screams and shook Zoe to wake her.

  “Sweetheart, wake up. It’s okay. It’s just a dream, just a dream.”

  ‘Help me.’

  “Damn it Zoe, open your eyes. It’s a dream. Wake up.”

  She was being shaken, fighting through the darkness; Zoe sat up, reaching for her savior. If only a moment, just until—

  “Hush now, agape mou.” Athena’s words were warm, soothing.

  Opening her eyes, she stared into Athena’s concerned eyes.

  “Breathe, baby,” Athena urged. “It’s just a dream.” She pushed Zoe’s hair away from her sweaty forehead. “There now, take it easy.”

  Untangling the blankets around Zoe, Athena bit her lip when Zoe buried her face into her shoulder and broke into hard sobs. She’d been wondering when the girl would give in. All that bottled up tension was causing the nightmares.

  Stroking the long dark hair, now a tangled mess, she held Zoe tightly as she cried hard for a long time.

  *****

  “You didn’t sleep last night,” Gloria Swanson complained as the make-up artist worked on Robbie’s face. “You have to rest, looking beat is not good for marketing.”

  “Excuse me, you’ve been working us this entire tour.” Robbie pointed out. “How do you expect we’ll sleep if you can’t give us a break?”

  “McClaire, I just want the best for Haden. The best includes hard work, sacrifices, great vocals, it certainly doesn’t include dark circles and looking tired.”

  “I’m not a robot,” Robbie said, motioning for the make up artist to leave them. “Quit being such a bitch!”

  “It’s in my DNA.” Gloria gave him a small smile before she hurried off to bother someone else.

  Sighing in exasperation, Robbie picked up a tissue off the table to blow his nose.

  He was having a bad case of sinuses this morning, coupled with an entire pot of coffee and one hour of sleep. He wished for Gloria’s spontaneous demise.

  “Which city is this?” he asked the make-up artist.

  “Naples”

  “Naples,” Robbie said. “I knew there was a reason everyone is talking Italian.”

  “Stop making lame jokes,” Tevin said coming in to the tent where they were preparing for a photo shoot. “I just saw Gloria leave. She’s losing it.”

  “Isn’t she always,” Robbie asked adjusting the belt on his slacks. “Tell me when we’re getting to Athens?”

  “You’re still thinking about that?” Tevin asked in surprise.

  Robbie sat in the chair he’d been using and said, “I’ve had enough time to think. The conclusion is always the same. She lied to me, and I want to know why.”

  “You’re so sure of her,” Tevin said thoughtfully. “You could be wrong.”

  “I’m not,” Robbie said. “I know Zoe very well. I do. She’s hiding something from me.”

  Tevin could tell that nothing he said would change Robbie’s mind. Not after the four weeks they’d spent touring different cities in Europe. Each venue more exciting than the last, still Robbie remained confident about talking to Zoe. At this rate, they were only delaying the inevitable.

  “I think we should fly in tonight after the concert. Instead of hanging around like we’d planned. We can go to Athens early.”

  “And the interviews scheduled with the press?” Robbie asked.

  “Ron and Mick can handle them,” Tevin said. “If this is what you need to do, we can’t delay it anym
ore.”

  “It is,” Robbie said. “I just need to see her and hear her tell me again. I mean, we have a life together, Tev. I can’t just let it go without knowing why she did this.”

  “Fine, we’ll go then,” Tevin said. “I won’t let you do this alone,” he explained when Robbie raised a brow.

  Leading this life, they dealt with many hard situations, Tevin thought. Assumptions on their lives, accusations on their ideas and actions, it was difficult to hang on to normalcy. He was seeing it in Robbie because now the press had chosen to make Zoe the bad guy in this and was coming up with stories about her that shook Robbie to the core. Some could be true, others were obviously farfetched, but they struck a cord, enough to make one start doubting her.

  It was always better to trust your gut, Tevin sighed. Robbie seemed sure seeing Zoe would help him even though he didn’t think so.

  Ron and Mick came in each holding two cups of coffee.

  “Gloria is out there spazzing out,” Ron said, handing one cup to Robbie. “Don’t get on me about the coffee, I didn’t make it.”

  “What’s up?” Mick asked handing one of his cups to Tevin. “You guys look intense.”

  Tevin met Robbie’s gaze before he said, “Robbie wants to talk to Zoe.”

  Mick sighed. “I knew that was coming.”

  “She’s not going to make you feel any better,” Ron said. “Once you cheat nothing can change it, that boyfriend still exists. This isn’t right, Robbie.”

  “We had a life, Ron,” Robbie said with a shake of his head, placing his cup of coffee on the table. “It’s not like I can stop loving her just like that. I would like to hear the whole story. How long she cheated on me? When it started? I need to know, may be it will make me stop caring.”

  “You’re torturing yourself,” Mick commented. “It’s not worth it. Change your mind, Robbie, don’t go to her.”

  “I need to see her,” Robbie said. “I need to see her, Mick.”

  Tevin sighed and shook his head at Ron and Mick, indicating that the argument was lost.

  “Will you cover the interview that’s left tonight? We can leave for Athens after the concert.”

  “You’re going with him,” Ron stated. “We get to deal with Gloria and Christine; you had better get your worth from that bitch, Robbie.”

  “I will appreciate it if you didn’t call her that,” Robbie said with a glare. “Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to.”

  “Whatever, she’s caused all of this, you know,” Ron sighed. “Look at you; you can’t even function without yelling about how the coffee is made, or some ridiculous flowers. We don’t talk about London or even music we wrote when she was with us. She is a pain in my ass.”

  “I can’t watch you get destroyed again.” Mick said simply. “We’ll stay in Mykonos until you’re done with her.”

  “Guys,” Tevin said, his gaze on Robbie, and how quiet he was.

  “No. We love you Robbie,” Ron said, grabbing on to Robbie’s shirt. “You were a mess when she left. I didn’t think you’d recover. Now, you want to go back again and get another dose of pain, excuse me if I don’t want to see it. Let’s drop this subject.”

  Ron let go of Robbie and stepped back, sipping his coffee, he sighed. “You’ll owe us one, Christine is one cold woman.”

  Robbie shook his head. “That’s coz she’s never been happy with anyone.”

  They all chuckled and the intense moment dissolved. Conversation changed and they discussed the concert they had that night and what it would involve while they waited for the photo shoot to start. When their cue came, they abandoned their coffee cups and headed for the photo setting.

  The photographer got to work, snapping pictures in rapid succession. Four men with very different personalities united in a brotherhood. They were friends first, business associates second. Together they had built an unforgettable legacy.

  Haden was a truly impressive sight, Gloria Swanson thought as she stood on the sidelines.

  Of course she never let them know how proud she was. She much preferred they view her as the hard nosed ball buster. It was the only way to get them even higher on that ladder.

  Her gaze settled on Robbie and she sighed at what she was seeing in those green eyes. He was hurting. Probably more than she could see, which explained why it was visible. It reminded her of when he’d lost Ryan Jacques.

  Despite being part of the group, Ryan had never been a member of Haden. He’d been Robbie’s little brother. The one thing that he’d loved more than anything else. When Ryan died, Robbie had lost more than a band member, he’d lost his heart. It had taken a long time for Robbie to smile again.

  Watching him struggle through Ryan’s death had been difficult. The pain had seeped into his music, his life, and the band. Shaking her head, Gloria wondered how ‘Dark Angel’ had ever gotten done. That record was a testament to that struggle, through the six months in that studio, Robbie had been a mess.

  To think that they had emerged from that terrible time only to return to it because of a single little woman, damn that Zoella Mya, she’d caused disruption in Gloria’s camp. It was hard not to hate her.

  Her cell phone buzzed and she moved away from the working photographer.

  “Swanson.”

  “It’s Marjorie.”

  “Where did you go to? You were supposed to make my lead singer happy.” Gloria said with irritation.

  “He asked me to leave. Not my fault. But you did promise me an exclusive on the band. Where is the final concert?”

  Gloria sighed. “Athens, a school in the city named AMS. I wanted you to write about the band’s support of music in schools. AMS is a perfect example. I’ll give you the contacts of the teacher who’s been helping us there, a Demetrius Avinoff. Give him a call; he’ll bring you up to speed.”

  “This is not about Robbie anymore, Gloria. I’m doing this for my career,” Marjorie said then.

  “I almost believe you,” Gloria said turning to watch Robbie speculatively, “but I already know why else you write about Haden. I’m sorry things worked out that way.”

  ****

  Pouring the last of the wine into her glass, Zoe sighed and got off the stool to go get another bottle. She placed the empty bottle in a crate by the wall; she stood before the wine rack and pulled out a new wine bottle. The best thing about having a French chef was that he always made sure they were stocked with the best wine.

  Walking to the counter, she picked up the opener and got to work. The clock on the microwave was saying it was five forty-five in the morning. Sleep was the furthest thing on her mind.

  Nightmares she’d thought were gone had returned with a vengeance she feared she couldn’t fight. Every time she tried to sleep, they came back. After waking up to Athena trying to comfort her, she’d decided that not sleeping was better. Dropping the cork screw on the table with its fresh cork, she filled her glass with merlot.

  She’d just taken a sip when Jessica strolled into the kitchen headed for the sink. Since Zoe sat in the dark, Jessica didn’t notice her right away. When she did, she gasped in shock dropping her glass into the sink.

  “Zoe!” Jessica managed. “You startled me.”

  Zoe remained unmoved. She simply took a sip of her wine and continued to stare at her older sister.

  The sun was doing Jessica some good, her skin was tanned, her blond hair streaked by the sun. It was growing too, Zoe noticed. In a pink silk nightgown, Jessica seemed approachable, not like before.

  Steadying herself, Jessica righted the glass in the sink and moved to switch on the light. Flooding the room with warm yellow light, she turned to look at her sister, her eyes not missing the wine bottle and the wine glass beside it.

  “Bad night,” Jessica said, moving back to the sink to get her glass of water. She took it with her and sat on a stool across Zoe at the island table. She couldn’t see h
er sister’s expression as usual all her hair fell over her face. “Want to talk?”

  “No,” Zoe said her tone unfriendly.

  Jessica sighed; she sipped her water, her gaze moving over Zoe. Her sister was wrapped in a purple house coat with a black t-shirt inside. Her right hand held the wine glass, and Jessica couldn’t help noticing the impressive ring blinking there. The craftsmanship of the thing was astounding. The R and Z in emeralds and diamonds must have taken some thought to get it to look so exquisite.

  “Did Robbie give you that?” she asked nodding to the ring.

  Zoe stared at her sister for a full minute. “It’s none of your business.”

  “You have to talk to someone,” Jessica said. “You can’t stay this angry all the time.”

  “I can be what I choose.” Zoe snapped.

  “You choose to be an alcoholic? A bitter woman who doesn’t see what is right before her?” Jessica demanded. “You want to be lonely?”

  “What does it matter to you, Jess?” Zoe asked coldly. “I don’t have time to deal with your sudden need to be a savior.”

  She slid off her stool and reached for the bottle of wine but Jessica grabbed it.

  “You’re destroying yourself drinking like this,” Jessica said hotly. “I can’t watch it, and its hurting Mamma. Why can’t you see it? We want to help and you won’t let us. Why are you being so stubborn?”

  “Don’t pretend that you care for even a minute, Jessica,” Zoe said just as loud. Shaking her head at her sister’s audacity, Zoe grabbed the bottle of wine back and turned for the door. “Stay out of my way.”

  Jessica was left staring after her sister in shock. No one had ever told her Zoe could be so scary. That cold voice she’d used at the end truly chilled her. Sighing, Jessica wondered at this situation. They weren’t going any where. Zoe seemed to be resenting them all even more. She wasn’t giving them an opening instead she seemed to be spiraling into a dark abyss that no one was able to pull her out of.

  She’d hoped the talk with Kenny would do the trick; apparently it was making things worse.

  ****

  ‘My husband is innocent! Take it back, Zoella.” Julia Harden insisted. ‘How can you say these things about your uncle? He’s like a father to you.”