The Case of the Broken Heart

my name out of it, will you?

  Sgt. McPhee: Keeping secrets is what we do best. Thanks again.

  Jim: O.K. (Exits stage right).

  Scene 4

  (Sergeant McPhee is in the church office. Suzanne is working at her desk and does not see him).

  Sgt. McPhee: Miss Radford?

  Suzanne (startled): Oh!

  Sgt. McPhee: Sorry to startle you. I’m Brian McPhee of the RCMP.

  Suzanne: Yes, I can see that.

  Sgt. McPhee: May I speak to you for a moment?

  Suzanne: Yes. Sit down please.

  Sgt. McPhee (sits): You are the secretary here, aren’t you?

  Suzanne: I’m the entire office staff.

  Sgt. McPhee: Would you mind answering a few questions?

  Suzanne: Not at all. What is this about?

  Sgt. McPhee: I am a little puzzled about the circumstances surrounding the death of Billy Joe Bob.

  Suzanne (reacts visibly): Oh. Everyone says it was a heart attack – except the papers.

  Sgt. McPhee: It very well might have been. We’re still waiting for the coroner’s report.

  Suzanne: What can I tell you? I’m not a medical expert

  Sgt. McPhee: Can you think of anyone who would want to harm your late minister?

  Suzanne: No.

  Sgt. McPhee: Was he in trouble of any kind?

  Suzanne: Not that I know of.

  Sgt. McPhee: Was the church having financial difficulties?

  Suzanne: Any organization that depends on donations is always in trouble. We get along.

  Sgt. McPhee: Did you take care of the bookkeeping?

  Suzanne: Most of it, except the annual audit. That was done by an outside auditing firm.

  Sgt. McPhee: Of course. In your bookkeeping did you notice that the church had difficulty in meeting any of its commitments?

  Suzanne: You mean paying the bills? Everyone has that problem.

  Sgt. McPhee: Did you notice any sums of money were missing?

  Suzanne: No, not that I recall.

  Sgt. McPhee: Did you ever find anything irregular?

  Suzanne: I’m not sure what you are getting at. This isn’t a business. There isn’t much that goes on. We just pay the housekeeping expenses and try to keep going.

  Sgt. McPhee: Just like the rest of us. Perhaps once you might have noticed that there was a large expenditure that wasn’t recorded in the usual way.

  Suzanne; Not that I – well, come to think of it, when we got our computer, Billy Joe insisted that we had to pay cash, and it was a large amount, and then he said we didn’t need a receipt. Why normally we get receipts even for string.

  Sgt. McPhee: Did you find that unusual?

  Suzanne: Yes, it was highly unusual, but it only happened once.

  Sgt. McPhee: Do you have any idea why he had to pay in cash?

  Suzanne: He said it was a special deal, slightly used, not part of the regular inventory.

  Sgt. McPhee: Do you think it was stolen?

  Suzanne: I most certainly do not!

  Sgt. McPhee: I don’t mean to upset you. I am sure this is a difficult time for everyone in this church.

  Suzanne: Yes, you’re right, it is.

  Sgt. McPhee: How would you describe your relations with your minister?

  Suzanne (stands): What is this? This isn’t a court room. Why are you asking me all these questions?

  Sgt. McPhee: I’m sorry. I thought it was obvious. How many men do you know who just (snaps his fingers) drop dead (Suzanne winces) at age 43? Sorry, I guess that wasn’t the best way to phrase it.

  Suzanne: No it wasn’t.

  Sgt. McPhee: If there is an unexplained death, it is our duty to investigate.

  Suzanne: Billy Joe Bob was one of the finest men I have ever known. We both came to the church at about the same time. I had been a counsellor at Camp Good Hope.

  Sgt. McPhee: What is Camp Good Hope?

  Suzanne: It’s a church summer camp for kids.

  Sgt. McPhee: Yes, go on.

  Suzanne: Billy Joe had been a minister in the States somewhere. He came up here to make a fresh start after his wife died.

  Sgt. Mcphee: umm-hmm.

  Suzanne: He wanted to leave all the old memories behind.

  Sgt. Mcphee: I can understand that.

  Suzanne: Well, what else is there to say? He was the minister and I was the secretary. Being a minister is not the kind of job that people murder each other for. Everyone liked him Attendance really grew a lot after he started preaching here. People were drawn to his style. It was livelier than the last minister’s.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Did you socialize after work? Go to dinner, that sort of thing?

  Suzanne (bristles): He took me out to diner once or twice. He had no one waiting for him at home, and I didn’t have much to do after work. I don’t date much as a rule. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Did you mostly talk about church business?

  Suzanne: Yes, that’s all he ever talked about – a very devoted man. He’s not the kind of person you forget overnight.

  Sgt. Mcphee: You weren’t romantically involved with him in any way, were you?

  Suzanne: I’m afraid you’ve been reading too many crime novels. I’m not that sort of girl.

  Sgt. Mcphee: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything improper. Umm, there is one more thing. Did your minister, Billy Joe Bob, have any health problems that you knew of?

  Suzanne: none that he told me about.

  Sgt. Mcphee: You said you were the whole staff. There’s no one else working here, is there?

  Suzanne: I take care of the office. There’s my Uncle Cecil. He looks after the maintenance.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Where could I find him?

  Suzanne: He’s finished cleaning the church. Unless he’s out working in the yard, I guess he’s gone home.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Would you mind giving me his address?

  Suzanne: It’s way past the other side of Yarrow.

  Sgt. Mcphee: I see. Will he be here tomorrow?

  Suzanne: About eight thirty. He’s very conscientious.

  Sgt. Mcphee: If you don’t mind, I might as well talk to him then (stands); Thanks for your help.

  Suzanne: Don’t mention it.

  (Cecil enters from stage right as McPhee starts to leave. He turns)

  Sgt. Mcphee: Excuse me, are you the maintenance man?

  Cecil: Yes, what can I do for you?

  Sgt. Mcphee: I’m Brian Mcphee of the RCMP.

  Cecil: I kind of thought that’s who you were with.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Very observant of you.

  Cecil: Are you here about Billy Joe Bob?

  Sgt. Mcphee: Right again. Is there some place we can talk in private?

  Suzanne: I’m just about done. If you want me to go, you can talk here.

  Sgt. Mcphee: If that’s not too inconvenient for you, I would appreciate it. We’ll only be a few minutes.

  Suzanne: That’s O.K. There’s not a lot to do without a pastor.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Yes, I imagine.

  Suzanne (starts to exit stage right, but turns back): I’ll see you in the morning Uncle Cecil.

  Cecil: Goodbye dear.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Good afternoon Miss Kerr.

  Suzanne: Goodbye. (Exits stage right. Both men sit).

  Sgt. Mcphee: You’re very fond of her, aren’t you?

  Cecil: She’s about all the family I’ve got, except for Vera, my wife.

  Sgt. Mcphee: No children of your own?

  Cecil: Had a kid. Damn fool killed himself car racing, drunk.

  Sgt. Mcphee: I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you won’t mind if I ask you all the usual questions.

  Cecil: Shoot.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Well, to begin, did the minister have any known enemies?

  Cecil: No. Most folks liked him a lot.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Did he have any financial problems?

  Cecil: No, he seemed to live pretty good. The church might have, though. r />
  Sgt. Mcphee: Could you explain that?

  Cecil: Well, he always had a new car, a sharp dresser. Ate in the best restaurants.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Your niece, Suzanne, said that he occasionally took her out to dinner. Do you think there was anything more to it?

  Cecil: What are you getting at?

  Sgt. Mcphee: Did they see a lot of each other?

  Cecil: Every day. They worked right here.

  Sgt. Mcphee: How about after hours?

  Cecil: I don’t know. I don’t follow her around. I live clear past Yarrow and she’s got an apartment here in town.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Yes, I see. How did she feel about him?

  Cecil: How should I know? I wouldn’t trust him though.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Why is that?

  Cecil: Well for one thing, my paycheque bounced last week. I’ll bet yours never does.

  Sgt. Mcphee: We’ll all be in serious trouble if that happens.

  Cecil: Well I was damned mad. Not just about the money but the way he tried to slide out of it, make like he didn’t know anything about it.

  Sgt. Mcphee: What else?

  Cecil: While we’re on the subject, he told everybody about how his wife died and all that – came up here to get over a broken heart. Well that’s just a bunch of hogwash. I went and visited his last church down in California. His wife didn’t die.

  Sgt. Mcphee: No?

  Cecil: He never had one. Got a girl in trouble though. Had to get out in a hurry. He was damn lucky that ministers don’t have to worry about immigration.

  Sgt. Mcphee: I didn’t know that.

  Cecil: That’s right. They can go wherever God calls them. Mighty handy when you’re in a tight spot. They didn’t want to talk about it, but they did, if you know what I mean.

  Sgt. Mcphee: I think so. So he couldn’t be trusted around women, and there were money problems and you can’t think of anyone who would want to harm him.

  Cecil: No. Am I being stupid?

  Sgt. Mcphee: I don’t think so. What do you know about Fred Holland?

  Cecil: Fred? The new guy?

  Sgt. Mcphee: Yes, I think he joined recently.

  Cecil: He was a drug addict.

  Sgt. Mcphee: Yes, he went to a treatment program Do you think he is still using drugs?

  Cecil: He acts kind of funny, nervous, you