The Irreversible Reckoning

  ***

  The following morning, I was escorted into the Warden’s office, and my heart was calm, because I knew that while the ship was docked, he went and received his fill of exotic booze and women in the nearest city, so he would not concern himself with receiving his fill of me.

  To my immense surprise, however, Tyre was sitting behind his desk.

  “Strange when the ship stops moving, isn’t it?” He asked me, and I wondered if he was making some kind of clever metaphor for the pregnancy, but after running through various possibilities as to what that metaphor might be, I decided that that could not possibly have been his intention. And in fact, it was strange when we docked to refuel. Over the years, we had all grown so used to near-constant movement, as the sea sunk beneath the weight of the heavy metal behemoth on which we all lived. When we docked, everyone got antsy; more people were thrown into the Dark Rooms for starting fights, or for killing other inmates, or for just starting chaos. Perhaps it was the sudden possibility of freedom, however small that possibility might have been. If someone found his or her way onto the upper decks, he or she might have been able to jump off the ship and make a break for it before the hundred or so guards keeping watch could riddle them with bullets. Perhaps one of us could find our way back into the forest, or disappear into the crowd in one of Pangaea’s various cities. But we more than likely could not.

  “Strange when menial conversations are started when the speaker intends to broach a very serious subject.”

  He laughed softly and gestured for me to sit, and I did, though I did not want to seem as though I were readily obeying him now that I was imprisoned. It was the first time I had seen him in three years, since he had tortured James and me, and I knew that he had heard all about my on-ship antics. I did not want him to think that in his presence, I would go soft, when outside of his presence, I was so scarily hard. But my stomach was rolling, and I had already thrown up four times that morning, so I sat.

  “I see that your wit has not been lessened by your time here.” He said kindly, “I am glad to see that, Brynna.”

  “I am sure.”

  “How are you keeping?”

  “You mean in my new role as queen of the Lapsarian, or as Adam’s wife? I am sure you mean my new role, but if you would like to hear about mine and Adam’s life as husband and wife, I will gladly take up your time.”

  “I meant all of it, so please, take up my time.”

  “Well, I enjoy being allowed to fight all who confront me, and to kill those I deem fit to die, if I am to be honest, which, of course, I am. While I do not relish taking lives that perhaps do not have to be taken, a woman must protect herself, especially a woman who is married to the former King of Purissimus. Many have tried to fight me, or rape me, or kill me for that reason alone. So, I got to thinking…”

  “An intricate and fascinating endeavor, I am sure, as brilliant as that mind of yours is.”

  “Thank you for the random complimentary interruption, and yes, it is intricate and fascinating.” He smiled but let me continue, “I got to thinking on how to solve the dilemma of every man and his brother trying to pin the King’s wife against a wall and fuck her…”

  Very subtly, I looked for a sign that he was disturbed by my cursing, because I knew that he thought it sinful, but I got nothing. Disappointing…

  “Or every woman and her sister trying to prove her dominance over one they had heard was so brilliant, beautiful, and deadly that the First King of Pangaea would scour the Earth to find her, and my solution to those dilemmas was to make them afraid. I have all of this strength at my disposal, and excellent fighting skills, and a thirst for blood, not to mention my coveted power, so why not use them all to my advantage? My instinct tells me that you thought this place would break me, but as you can see, it has only made me stronger.”

  “Your instinct is wrong, Brynna. Strangely enough. I knew that you would thrive here. A part of me hoped that you would come to see the error of your ways, as they say. A part of me hoped you would come to see that you have a place amongst us, out there in the free world, if only you chose to revoke your allegiance to your old ways and adopt ours, but I did not expect that to actually occur. And now,” His eyes broke from mine, traveled down my face, quickly over my chest, and finally rested on my stomach, and it was then that dizziness surged through me. “Look. You are expecting your first child.”

  “How did you know?”

  “I have many sources here, Brynna. I always have a source close to you.”

  Cryptic. Capable of forcing me to view every person around me as a threat, even those I trusted most. But unimportant in that moment.

  “You have gone white.” He told me, and if he were feigning genuine concern, he was doing so convincingly. He stood, moved to a small cooler in the corner of the office, and extracted a glass bottle of water. “From the spring of the Mother. A very sacred place, for those of us who believe the Old Ways. The true ways. I had this brought here specifically for you. Whenever a high-standing woman is expecting, she drinks this. I have been told that it is the crispest and coldest water anyone has ever drunk, and that one sip will make an expectant mother feel fulfilled for all of her pregnancy.”

  “I do not like being given beverages by anyone other than close family and friends.”

  “I have no need to give you drugs, if that is what you fear.”

  “It is exactly what I fear. You know me so well.”

  “We are getting along so nicely, why would I slip something into your drink that would make you lose consciousness? You are always honest with me, sometimes brutally so, so why would I slip you something that would promise your honesty? One of the things I love most about you, Brynna, is that what I want to know, you tell me.”

  I took a sip of the water, sloshed it around my mouth expectantly, and swallowed.

  “Tastes like river water to me, but then, I do have quite a humble palate. Oh, you know what else it tastes like? There was this very expensive bottled water on Earth. I cannot remember the name, but apparently, their water was purified through the normal means of reverse osmosis, but it was also purified with the highest-grade minerals. I was always surprised that they did not print right on the bottle that it would cure cancer and blindness and the Red Fever.”

  “Don’t be crass.”

  “I am always crass.” I said, and I took another sip, because I really was thirsty. “I am going to say this now, Tyre, to eliminate any question of it when my daughter is born: You will not have her. She will not serve whatever purpose it is that you have in mind for her.”

  “She will, and so will you, and so will young Penelope. She has miraculously received your gift, has she not?”

  The dizziness intensified, making it feel to me as though the ship were rising and falling the way it did when we sailed through a particularly violent storm. But I would not give in. I would not lose consciousness. I could not. Not now. Not when my girls’ lives depended upon it.

  “I thought it was a curse, Tyre.”

  “Not yours. Not when it is given to so few. Not when I had eradicated every one of your kind, and then just one more was born. You were born, and to an Earthean human, no less. An Earthean human woman who lived her life drowning in spirits and in her own utter rage and bitterness. An Earthean human male with a…” He cleared his throat uncomfortably, “With very despicable tastes.”

  More dizziness.

  “What is your purpose?” I asked, because I was trying to remain focused, even as the anxiety spiked my heart rate and sent my blood rocketing through my veins at hyper-speed. “Or purposes? What do you want with them?”

  “That is not of your concern right now.”

  “You have won, Tyre. What more do you need?”

  “Have you not seen with the fall of your despicable kind, both here and on Earth, that times change? Regimes fall, new ones rise, and if one wants to remain on top, one must take preventative measures. You have the gift of foresight, and so
does Penelope, and so will your new daughter. Adam has told you that your gift is indispensable, and it is. It will be as indispensable to me as it was to him.”

  “No.”

  “You have no choice. But do not worry, not one of you will be treated poorly. You are too important. You will not enjoy the ‘freedoms’ Adam’s reign afforded, but you will not suffer the punishments women of your kind normally suffer.”

  “And what about Adam?”

  “Adam has served his purpose.”

  I looked up at him, watching as the corners of my vision began to black out, feeling my heart somehow manage to pound even harder.

  “So you will kill him now?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level.

  “After the child is born, he will be executed publicly. I will allow him to meet his daughter, because I am kind. Moreover, I do not want to put unnecessary strain on you, given your condition.”

  I could not determine whether he meant my condition of being pregnant, or if he knew that I should not have been pregnant in the first place. I would keep the latter a secret for as long as I could, especially if, Heaven forbid, something happened to this child, and we needed Tyre to think that we could conceive a new one. But I could not even fathom that. I could not fathom a world in which the little life within me was not born.

  “Is fearing for the day this child is born, because that will be the day that my daughters and I are sold off to you, and I lose my husband, whom I love very much, good for me and my condition?”

  “No, I suppose not.” He leaned forward, “Brynna, do you love him? Truly? Deeply?”

  “Yes.” I said, without hesitation. I could feel my throat clenching, and my head was still spinning, because I was barely breathing. “And I would like it very much if you would allow him to live, Tyre.”

  “I cannot.”

  “Why not? What difference does it make if he is here, and I am with you? I just want him to live. I want him to know his daughter, to be there for his son. Why do you need to kill him if he remains here?”

  “Because he is my oldest enemy, and he is their leader, and if I show him mercy, your people and my people will view me as weak. I have few ill feelings towards Adam these days. This fight has gone on for too long, it is hard to still feel the same sour grapes, as your kind would say.”

  “That is not how we use that expression.” I replied, almost absent-mindedly, because my heartbeat was fluttering, my mind was racing, and I was struggling to keep my breaths even. I could not imagine my life without him. More than that, I could not imagine the world without him. He was the leader of our kind. Our people feared him, but they respected him and his rule. Tyre could say what he wanted about my husband, but his people loved him. His reign had lasted several thousand years, and he had fought many battles and won many wars. He fostered a kingdom in which there was almost absolute freedom, and that is what people wanted.

  “Tyre.” I said, and I looked up at him, my eyes turning back to their normal blue now as I began to implore him, “He is my husband. I know you thought you had won something over me when you married me to him, but all you did was force us to join together as we had been starting to do and stopping to do for two years. I love him so much, and he is the father of my child now, and I need him. All I ask is that you let him live, even if it is here on the ship, and I am out there, with you, wherever you want me to be.”

  “No. He will be executed, and you will be present to watch.”

  I don’t know from where the sudden speed and strength came, but it was double my normal speed and strength. Before his eyelids could close even a fraction of a blink, I was on him, my hands around his throat, my eyes both white now, and my fangs out. My animal instincts were driving my mind. To them, he was not my husband’s worst enemy, nor was he the leader of our opponents in battle, he was merely prey in need of slaughtering. He had threatened my husband, my children, and me, and for that, he would suffer. In the recognition of it being a revenge killing and a preventative measure against further violence Tyre could inflict on our family, I saw my humanity, but in my thirst for his blood, I was only animal.

  Snapping my jaws, I lunged forward, and he held me back with more ease than I could have imagined. My chest pushed hard against his arms, struggling to get my face closer to his face so I could take a bite out of it the way I had done to Mary Bachum (I had forgotten to ask how she was). My gums were almost throbbing, sending shockwaves of vibrations through my teeth, which were rattling in desire for the moment they could sink into his skin, into the pulsing vein in his throat…

  “Bring him in!” Tyre shouted, and when the door opened, and I became aware of Adam’s scent, Tyre was able to flip me over, wrap one of his arms around my neck, and pin both of my arms behind my back with his other hand.

  Four of the Warden’s guards were dragging him in, and not one of them was James, thank God.

  “Let her go, Tyre.” Adam said, very calmly, but both Tyre and I knew he was anything but calm.

  “Shall I kill him now?” Tyre asked in my ear, his voice trembling in rage, “Shall I rip his head from his body and tie it around your neck? That is what we do to husbands and wives who conspire against my cathedra. It is called ‘albatrossing’—Sever the head of one and force the other to wear it around his or her neck? Is that what you want?”

  “Tyre, let go of her.” Adam barked, a little more forcefully now.

  “Or maybe, if you want him so badly, I will cut this baby out, and you may have him until he can plant another seed in your belly?”

  “TYRE!” Adam bellowed, and everything glass in the office shattered. I heard the snapping of several bones, and when I looked, two of Adam’s guards were lying on the ground with both legs snapped clean in half, and one was slouched against the wall, screaming as he cradled a broken wrist to his chest. The gun he had been holding had crashed to the floor, and Adam had picked it up and was holding it against Tyre’s forehead.

  “Unhand my wife…” He said in a voice trembling with rage, “Now.”

  Tyre had been twisting my arms so hard that I had felt my shoulder ligaments beginning to pull apart, and my wrists had been splintering under his grip. I had been grimacing in pain but not crying out, and I had not realized how terrible the pain was until I was no longer experiencing it, and the relief was unfathomable. I collapsed into Adam’s arms, my own flew around him, holding him tightly, so tightly I feared briefly that I would be the one to kill him by cutting off his circulation and ability to breathe, and I was shaking so badly that he had to hold me with both hands to keep my body somewhat still against his.

  “You have shown your hand again, Brynna.” Tyre snarled at me as more guards arrived, “Did you not learn with James that I will prey upon those for whom you care so deeply if you continue to disobey me?”

  Tyre’s thoughts told me what he was about to do. I turned around, throwing my arms across Adam before Adam could jump in front of me, because he had seen him pick up the gun. His thoughts had not told me who it would be, but Adam’s reflexes were faster than mine, his cognition of the downward movement of Tyre’s hand, what it meant, was shrewder than mine…

  I felt the blood spreading outwards on my shirt before I felt the pain. The bullet was a bomb, the bullet hole the point of impact, the spreading blood the nuclear fallout storming outwards in every direction. I heard Adam bellow, not a word, but some animalistic sound of pure rage, I felt his hands pressing to the wound, felt my own jerking down to cover his. I felt Tyre grab my chin roughly in his hand, felt him harshly jerk my head upwards so I was looking at him. My vision was blurry, and I could not hear what was surely the very disgusted tone of his voice, but I was able to read his lips as he said, “There. Now you may keep your precious husband for a bit longer. Perhaps now you might even keep him forever.”

  Adam wanted to go after him. He wanted to rip him apart, for my sake and for our child’s. He wanted to rip off his arms, his legs, his jaw… He wanted his eyes, his tongue… He w
anted to dismember him completely while his brain was still able to experience the horror and the pain of it. For a moment, I thought that the urge to kill Tyre for what he had done to me would overtake him, and he would rush off. My hands actually tightened on him, taking two fistfuls of his shirt, as my body acted by its own will to prevent him from leaving me.

  “Stay awake, my love. Stay awake.” Adam ordered, but my head fell backwards, my eyes closed, I fell into sleep, only to be awakened when he began to run. In that half-minute of sleep, I had not felt the pain, and I had managed to convince myself that it was a terrible dream, that I would wake up either beside Janna or beside Adam, or perhaps even beside James. Perhaps I was in his quarters with him, or perhaps I was in Adam’s intricate cell, or perhaps Janna and I were cuddled together on her bunk bed. I yearned for the relief that would flood through me, that would relax my muscles and calm my rapidly beating heart like a warm cup of tea or a strong dose of Slumber Root, but only the pain was there to greet me when I awoke. Some corner of my mind, speaking calmly to me, told me to slip back into sleep, but Adam’s voice was telling me to stay awake. I was coaxed asleep and then forced awake, and in the third or so transition between the two states, I felt my back pressing onto a soft cot and Adam’s arms leave me.

  “NO!” I wailed, reaching out for him with surprising strength and taking one of his bloody hands in one of my bloody hands. He knelt beside me, allowing me to squeeze his hand even though I was doing so hard enough to possibly break his fingers. I know it must have hurt, but the pain in his eyes was not the result of the grip I had on his hand. His other hand was pushing my hair back from my eyes and then coming down to rest on my face so his thumb could stroke my cheek.

  “Keep your eyes on me, sweetheart.” He told me softly. I went to look down, but he cupped my chin and held it up. When two hands pressed into the wound, holding a cloth soaked with the mixture that would coagulate my blood, I flinched, my body struggled to curl up, but someone was holding my legs. A weak moan escaped me, and Adam kissed my forehead.

  “I know, my love. It is almost over.” He assured me.

  “Keep her awake, Rexprimus.” One of the nurses said.

  Rexprimus. She was one of ours back when we still had those to call ours.

  I had been slipping back into that sleep again, but Adam turned my head to him and gently shook me.

  “Brynna, you must stay awake now.”

  “Baby…” I murmured.

  “She will be alright, my love.” He lied, and because my mind was searching for a place to cower, away from the pain and the trauma of it all, I went into his mind, and into his heart, and I saw his unfathomable grief. He was not crying, because he would not feel any of it until he knew that I would be alright.

  “So sorry…” I cried, and tears began to rush from my eyes. I drew in a deep breath and sobbed, “I’m so sorry, Adam. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  “Shh…” He kissed my forehead again, “It is not your fault. No blame for this is on your shoulders. Do you hear me, sweetheart?”

  “The baby… The baby…” I moaned, crying harder now.

  “I know, my love. I know. I am so sorry.”

  “Oh, God…” I cried, and when they sterilized the wound with what felt like an open flame and then drove the tip of a needle through the charred and punctured skin, it hurt less than the sickening grief in my heart. “Oh, God, Adam…”

  I said her name for the first time, the name I had known would be hers from the moment she stirred inside of me, the name that Adam and I had loved, because she was our miracle child. She had been conceived, truly, by the will of some higher power, be it my God or Gods, or his One God. I said her name, to her, for the first time, as she bled out of me. As my second child bled out of me.

  “Grace… Don’t go.”