Shreiber and Tome: Unlucky Vamps

  7. I Seriously Would Not Order That.

  The address was of an expensive hotel suite in the rich side of town. Apparently, the woman known only as Sabine was quite well off.

  Tome paused outside of her door.

  “You don’t think this is a trap do you?” he asked Lil.

  “What? You think Bill’s going to set us up?”

  “Well, he doesn’t rate us high enough to kill personally.”

  “Yeah, but you’re the one who sold him the dodgy witch charm. Why would he want to kill me? Just knock.”

  Tome shrugged. He knocked on the door loudly. A few moments later a timid voice called out to them, “Who is it?”

  “Lilijana Shreiber and Michael Tome. We’re private investigators, did Bill...”

  The door opened a crack, and a bloodshot eye peered out at them. Its owner seemed satisfied at what she saw, since a few seconds later the door swung open.

  “I’ve been expecting you,” the woman said. She was an attractive woman in a satin robe. She had shiny black hair and green eyes, and Lil’s finely tuned detective skills told her she was obviously a vampire. The pale skin and fangs were a dead giveaway. “Bill said I could trust you.”

  “Really?” Lil asked. She pointed at Tome. “Even him?”

  “Well, he said trust the girl.”

  “Good advice,” said Lil. “Can we come in?”

  The woman stood aside and let them enter. Her apartment was huge, and lavishly decorated. One wall was an entire picturesque window that looked out over the glowing buildings of Chapter City. A huge television was showing reruns of an old show that the woman had been watching. There were blood stained tissues on the coffee table that she had wiped her eyes with.

  “Please excuse the mess. When I saw the news... and that they had been...”

  “Is your name Sabine?” Tome asked.

  She gave a weak smile. “That’s the name I use with clients. My actual name is Sabrina.”

  “Clients? Are you a...” Lil tried to find a tactful word.

  “Escort,” Sabrina finished. She shrugged. “It’s a living.”

  “Do you work for Bill?”

  “No. Not any more. Bill considers that sort of thing beneath him now. But he still supplies able clients. Rich men.”

  “Vampires?”

  “A few.” She seemed uneasy about that. “Please sit.”

  Lil sat on the sofa next to her. Tome remained standing.

  “Did Bill explain...?”

  “He said you heard about the Vampire Slayer murders on the news, and that you recognised the victims.”

  Sabrina nodded. “I wanted to go to the police, but Bill said not to.”

  “Good choice,” Tome said.

  “Who did you know?” Lil asked gently.

  “Angela,” Sabrina said in a quiet voice. A bloody tear ran down her cheek. “We were old friends, but we drifted apart after... Afterwards.”

  “After what?”

  “After I made her into a vampire.” Sabrina looked guilty. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to...”

  That’s why she didn't go to the police, Lil realised. It was illegal to vampirise someone without consent.

  “You see I found out she had cancer,” Sabrina continued. “I wanted to help her. I had already been changed. I thought if I just let her change slowly, her body would fight off the cancer, and then she could go on the drug therapy. We got drunk. I bit her. She was angry at first, but then she decided she wanted to be a vampire. She started to like it, the life it gave her, so she went off the therapy. She said she was happy, but I don’t think she ever forgave me.” She sniffed again.

  “I’m sorry,” Lil said gently. “I don’t mean to be insensitive but I have to ask. The other victims. Did you know any of them?”

  Sabrina nodded. “Anton. I met him once, he was nice. A human when I met him though. He was going out with Angela, and she bit him. When he changed, she got bored and dumped him.”

  “Did you know him well?”

  “We stayed in touch. He worked for Bill for a while I think.”

  Lil was surprised. Bill had said he didn’t know Anton Philips, other than meeting him to let him stay in the abandoned building that became the site of his murder. It wasn’t that Bill had never lied to her before. She knew the business with the coffee shop was a crock. But what did he have to gain from lying about this? She filed this thought back for later examination.

  “How about Jack Olson?” asked Tome.

  “Who?”

  “The second victim. He was a security guard.”

  “I’m sorry. The name’s not familiar.”

  Lil pulled out the photograph of Jerry Howard and the female woman. “Did you know them? He had your address.”

  Sabrina looked at the picture. Her eyes threatened to tear up again. “I knew them. Anton introduced me. Jerry was a client. He paid me to make him into a vampire.”

  “People pay you for that?” Lil asked in surprise.

  “Not much. It’s hardly difficult. Some people would think the life is pretty exciting.”

  “Life is a rather loose term,” pointed out Tome.

  “Some don’t have much going for them as humans, at least being a vampire...”

  “You can spend the whole of eternity being a wanker,” Tome said bluntly.

  “It’s not as simple as that,” Sabrina said coldly. “Take Jerry. He and Sam, his girlfriend, they were about to break up as humans. Then one night, she got mugged. By a vampire. She put up a fight, and he bit her. She didn’t realise it until the first symptoms started showing. Jerry wanted her to get treatment, but she she was excited by the possibilities. There was a lot of arguing I suppose. In the end, I think she convinced him to make the change too. Anton suggested me. I’m good at the change. I can do it painlessly, so softly. You can feel you blood draining away, being replaced by something older, and more powerful. Once you go through that, you never look back.” Her eyes misted over with memories as she said this. Her voice grew excited. Tome shifted uneasily.

  Sabrina shook her head, and looked slightly embarrassed. “Usually though, I just give them a bite. A quick infection through a major artery. They change slowly over time. The vampire gifts grow stronger at a slower rate, so that they have more time to grow accustomed to them. Sometimes the blood transfer can overwhelm some people.”

  “So you gave little Jerry the big bite then?” Tome asked with mild amusement.

  “Yes. He seemed to cope very well at first. I haven’t really seen him in a while... Not since...” she trailed off and stared blankly at the mute television.

  “Well, it seems little Jerry changed his mind. He was on medication. And his girlfriend was murdered beside Philips. I guess immortality isn’t enough for some relationships.”

  “I don’t suppose you remembered the names of anyone else you changed,” Lil asked. Was it possible they had found the connection between the victims at last?

  Sabrina thought it over. “Let me think. Sorry, but most of my clients want to remain anonymous. I try to forget their names. I remembered Jerry because...”

  “Yeah, it’s such a sob story,” said Tome. “Let me take a stab in the dark. Did Bill refer these guys to you? You don’t seem the type to put out an advert. For sale, Immortality and a Lust for Blood. Transformation into bat sold separately.”

  The two women ignored him. “Bill might know. He usually handled the introductions and such.”

  “Oh, we plan to have a very long chat with Bill,” Tome muttered.

  “Sabrina, please try to think,” said Lil. “If you can remember the names of anyone else...”

  “Wait, I think I may have changed a man named Fred... no! Frank Jules. That was it. And, a few months ago...”

  She listed a few other names that Lil hastily scribbled down on her pad. Tome listened impassively. A sudden knock at the door made them all jump.

  “Expecting someone?” Tome asked.

 
“I ordered some food and wine a while ago,” Sabrina said. “But I’m not hungry anymore.”

  Tome answered the door. A pimply bell hop wheeled in a squeaky trolley laden with bottle of expensive wine chilled in an ice bucket, and a silver tray under a matching cover. Tome’s stomach rumbled loudly.

  “The lady’s been waiting you know,” Tome chided the bell hop.

  “Not my fault. I don’t cook the stuff,” the bell hop replied stiffly.

  “I didn’t think vampires ate anything... solid,” commented Lil as Sabrina signed for the food.

  “We don’t usually. But there are only so many ways to take blood.” She sat back down next to Lil.

  “What did you order?”

  “Steak serloin.”

  “Rare, right,” Tome said practically salivating. He noticed the bell hop, still present and waiting for a tip. “Hang on.” As expected, Tome reached into his pocket and handed the boy a pile of dirt. “Buy yourself something nice.”

  “Yes, sir,” the bell hop said in confusion. He left in a hurry.

  “Seriously, Mike,” Lil said. “How much of that stuff do you have?”

  “Enough,” Tome replied simply. “Uh, you didn’t want this did you?” He asked Sabrina, pointing to the tray.

  “No, I couldn’t.” She looked at Lil sadly. “You don’t think... You don’t think that whoever is killing all of those people is doing it because of me?”

  “I'm not sure,” Lil said truthfully. “You did know all of the victims. But like you said, you didn’t know Olson.”

  “Are you sure you never met him?” asked Tome. He already had a napkin tucked into his collar. “He was a tall guy, heavy set. At least he was originally. I can only guess since I only saw him in pictures without his- ARGH!”

  Tome jumped back as he lifted the silver cover. It fell to the floor with a thud. Lil didn’t get a good look at the thing underneath. All she saw was a black shadow, which was followed by a loud hiss.

  The snake rose lightning fast and hurled itself at Tome. Its fangs were an inch away from him when it suddenly rebounded painfully, as if it had just run into some invisible wall. The force of the impact knocked it from the trolley onto the floor. It hissed in irritation, and slithered towards Lil and Sabrina.

  The two woman stood to run when the snake approached. Lil grabbed the vampire’s arm and forced her to stop.

  “Freeze,” she whispered. “Don’t alarm it.”

  The snake coiled less than a metre away from them. Its head shifted from one target to the next. It was at least a metre and a half long, its scales pitch black. They were easily in striking range.

  “Uh, Mike,” Lil said uneasily. “Little help.”

  Tome stood shell shocked, staring at the snake. “What exactly would you like me to do? I left my mongoose at home.”

  “Well, there is that stupid snake charm. You know, the one that just saved you life,” Lil snapped.

  Comprehension flooded over Tome's face. “Oh! Right. That.”

  “Idiot.”

  He started rummaging through his pockets, spilling assorted garbage everywhere. “It was right here,” he muttered. “Don’t panic.”

  “Too late.”

  “And don’t make any sudden movements.”

  “Well, duh, thanks, Mike, I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “And stop talking!”

  “What do you expect? I always blab when I’m nervous. You know that. And giant killer snakes make me pretty damn nervous.”

  “Keep ranting,” Sabrina hissed sharply. “I think your voice is confusing it.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “And whatever you do,” Tome said, dropping an apple peel, three chocolate bar wrappers and an expired coupon for a free salsa lesson. “Don’t make eye contact.”

  There was a loud hiss.

  “Mike, I made eye contact.”

  “Where the hell is it?”

  “Did you look in your inside left lower pocket at the bottom right?” Tome had a lot of pockets.

  He rolled his eyes in irritation. “Of course! I always forget that one.”

  The snake hissed again, and reared back to strike. Tome reached into his coat, and pulled out what appeared to be the mummified corpse of a small mouse. As the snake lunged forward, fangs dripping with venom and aiming straight for Lil, Tome jumped forward in an incredibly ungraceful manner holding the Anasasi snake charm in front of him at arm’s length. The snake writhed in mid strike and fell to the ground. It coiled its body into a defensive posture as Tome skirted around it to stand in front of Lil and Sabrina.

  “Same to you, snippy,” he told it. “Go on, bugger off.” He advanced, still holding the charm at arm’s length. The snake was pushed backwards by the same unseen force that had prevented it biting Tome. It hissed angrily and slithered away to the nearest dark shadow.

  As its long black tail disappeared into the darkened bedroom, Tome slammed the door shut, and let out a long sigh of relief.

  “And you thought this was a waste of money,” he chastised Lil, twirling the snake charm by its tail.

  Lil dropped into her seat, looking pale. “Okay, I stand corrected.”

  “Are you okay?” asked Sabrina, somehow managing to look even paler than a vampire was normally capable of.

  “I think so. Jeez, those Anasasi do know their snake charms.” Lil took a deep breath and tried to control her spinning head. She hated snakes. Thank God it wasn’t a spider. Things would have gotten unpleasant, not to mention down right messy.

  “Well, at least we learned one thing,” Tome said reasonably.

  “What? That you haven’t cleaned your coat out since the early eighties?”

  “They’re arcane relics, and they just saved you life.”

  “It’s all crap, Mike, face it.”

  “That’s basically what a relic is.”

  Lil rolled her eyes. “You’re right though, I guess. That snake wasn’t meant for us.”

  “How do you know?” asked Sabrina. “I mean, a snake isn’t exactly a great way to kill a vampire.”

  “Ridley’s Shadow Viper,” Lil said knowledgeably. She liked to know what her mortal enemies looked like. “Venom attacks the nervous system. It won’t kill a vampire, but it can paralyse it permanently.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Warlocks use them as familiars. Mike used to have one.” Lil shuddered at the thought. “Disgusting.”

  “Hey, I’m not going to sit here and listen to you bad mouthing Snuffy,” Tome replied stiffly. “May he slither in peace.”

  “Besides,” Lil went on. “Who knew we would be here?”

  “Someone could have noticed us come in?” Tome suggested. His face darkened. “Of course, there is someone who knew we were here. Actually suggested it too, if memory serves.”

  “Who? Bill?” Sabrina shook her head in disbelief. “Bill doesn't have a vicious bone in his body.”

  “No, he keeps them on display in his crypt.”

  “Well, whoever caused this,” Lil said. “They’re serious. And they know where you are,” she told Sabrina. “We should definitely call Ryan and get the hell out of here.”

  “You think it’s the same person?” Sabrina looked terrified. “The killer?”

  Lil shrugged as she stood. “I don’t know. Maybe you just peeved the wrong client somewhere along the line. But let’s play it safe. We’ll move you someplace safe. Mike’s place...”

  “Why my place?”

  “Because nobody in their right mind would go there. It’s the last place anyone would look.”

  Tome made to argue, but then nodded his head and conceded her point. “I guess.”

  “I should just pack up my things,” Sabrina said. “Leave the country.”

  “No way. Not until we figure out what your connection is to the killings.”

  “But if that snake was meant for me...” She lowered her head in shame. “It almost killed you. I don’t want anyone else to die because of
me.”

  “Hey,” Tome said cheerfully. “Don’t worry about it. You couldn’t have two bigger professionals on your side. This sort of thing is what we live for. I mean sure, you get poisonous snakes, and your harpies, and your rampaging demons from the darkest reaches of Hell... Not to mention traffic wardens... But we’ve seen evil in its every possible form. We could spot this sucker from a mile away. Trust us, nothing bad could possibly happen.”

  “Again,” Lil put in.

  “Sure, nothing bad could possibly happen again....”

  At that point the lights flickered. Lil didn’t know why, but she suddenly felt cold. The very air itself felt heavy, and dark and oppressive. Her stomach churned.

  Then she felt it. A heavy vibration in the floor. It came rhythmically, shaking the room then falling silent. The windows began to rattle in their frames. And Lil realised what the vibrating rhythm reminded her of.

  Beating wings.

  “Oh, no...” she whispered. And something heavy flung itself through the full length windows.

  Glass exploded everywhere, showering them in broken shards. Lil felt her head being cut open as she flung herself down over Sabrina protectively. She heard Tome swear loudly, them make a pained sound as he was winded. Then the lights went out completely, and Lil was on the floor, covering Sabrina with her body. There were heavy footsteps behind her. Slowly, Lil raised her head, and looked around.

  Framed against the glowing backdrop of the window was a dark silhouette of a man. He was in darkness, and she could not see his features. Slowly, his head turned as he surveyed the darkened room. Then his gaze alighted on Lil.

  She gasped. His eyes were burning as though lit by an internal flame. The glowing orbs bore into her. She felt like they could see right through her. The figure took a step forwards...

  And Tome appeared. He stepped up to the figure, and flung the contents of his pouch of revelation powder into its face. The moment the powder made contact, there was light. It erupted from the creature's body, light so bright Lil flung her arm up over her eyes just in time to avoid being permanently blinded. She still saw spots.

  The light burned for barely a second, then it was gone. There was a rustling sound, and when Lil looked back, the creature stood still against the window. From its back unfurled what could only be wings. They seemed to glow with their own soft white light. In the dark room, it was enough to illuminate everything.

  Fully spread, the angel's wingspan was at least eight metres, probably more. It could almost touch both walls of the room with its wing tips.

  Beneath her, Sabrina whimpered. Tome stood sheepishly before the Ascended Being, mouth agape.

  “Oh... bollocks,” he said simply.

  With one sweep of its wing, the angel sent Tome flying across the room. He hit the wall, and lay unmoving on the ground, showered in plaster.

  Without a second thought, the angel turned to Lil and Sabrina. Lil stumbled upwards, pulling Sabrina with her. She pushed her forwards, and made to run to the door, when a cold hand gripped her powerfully by the back of the neck and she felt her feet leave the floor.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Lil saw Sabrina struggled weakly in the angel’s other hand. She didn’t bother to do the same. There was little point. The angel flung Sabrina aside with ease. The vampire hit the television screen with her head, cracking the glass into a spider’s web pattern. She didn’t get up, but a low moan told Lil she was still awake.

  Then the angel threw Lil down. She crashed into the coffee table and was winded. As her vision swam she looked up, her body a myriad of pain, and quite sure she had broken something, and saw the angel’s back as he advanced on Sabrina.

  Without thinking, she reached up and grabbed a handful of its wing. She remembered only too clearly that Jerry Howard’s ex-girlfriend had been killed because she had gotten in the way of the angel’s real target, then there was a flurry of motion. Something heavy slapped her across the face with enough force to roll her aside. Then the angel was towering over her, one hand locked onto her throat and slowly, almost gently, began to squeeze the life from her.

  Its face was inches from her own. She stared upwards into its eyes that still burned fiercely as she was dying. They stared down at her, hard and angry. Then, slowly, its gaze softened as it stared into her blue eyes. The hand relaxed its grip, allowing her to take a quick, rasping breath. There was confusion on its face.

  “How?” it whispered softly.

  Lil coughed. “Don’t... do this,” she gasped weakly.

  The angel seemed not to hear her. It just continued to stare at her face. It seemed to recognise something about her that stayed its hand.

  “You... You look like one of the enlightened ones,” the angel said slowly. Its voice was deep, melodious almost. It matched the angels smooth face perfectly, features that were above sex and race, and embodied all that was good and pure about the human form.

  But its eyes. In those, Lil could see pain and torment.

  “How?” the angel asked again. “How is it that you look like the enlightened ones? You are human.” It grew angry again. “Speak! What perversity is this?”

  Lil struggled for breath. “My... father...”

  The hand tightened on her throat once more. “Lies!” the angel spat. “You lie! No such union can take place. Has ever taken place. What evil are you? Tell me? How have you come about?”

  Her vision blurring, her mind going dull, and her breathing constricted, Lil gasped out the only answer she could think of.

  “Sarael.”

  The angel paused.

  “The lost one,” it said. “You are the daughter of the lost one... Of course!” It smiled, which Lil found was even more terrifying. “I see it now. The resemblance.” it ran a finger down her cheek. “The proud features. The defiant mouth. The eyes...” it bushed a strand of hair from her face. “You have the same eyes...”

  Off to the side, Sabrina tried to rise to her feet. She stumbled, and landed on one knee loudly on the carpet. The noise shook the angel from his study. It started, its head snapping up to lock onto its original target. Sabrina was frozen with fear.

  “Run,” Lil tried to yell. It came out a quiet wheeze.

  The angel dropped her where she lay, and moved on the Sabrina. The vampire screamed, and ran for the door. The angel made to follow, but with one last effort, Lil wrapped her arms around its leg and tried to trip it.

  Unfazed, the angel backhanded her across the face, and left her struggling for consciousness on the floor. Lil closed her eyes and tried to let the dark take her. But she heard with perfect clarity as Sabrina failed to reach the door in time. She heard the screams as the angel caught her, and then, the sickening crack as something broke and the vampire woman screamed louder. There were three more breaks, with each one, Sabrina screamed louder still, sobbing and begging. The angel made no sound. With one final snap, everything went silent, save for the muffled thud of a body hitting the floor.

  There were soft steps moving towards her. Lil opened her eyes to see the angel standing over her. Tears that shone like silver ran down its cheeks.

  “I will spare your life, because you are of the enlighten ones. But I owe nothing to the lost one, and if you get in my way, I will kill you.” It looked down on her with complete misery. “Please do not interfere. I do not want to harm you any further...”

  It turned and walked to the shattered window.

  “Why are you doing this?” Lil asked aloud, a voice barely a whisper.

  The angel stopped. Without turning, it told her, “Because I have no choice. Because I, too, am lost.”

  Then it spread its wings, and there was nothing but darkness, and the smell of blood pooling on the floor.

  The crime scene people brought their own portable halogen lamps into the apartment. Every light bulb that had been on when the angel had entered had burnt itself out. Now the walls of the formerly bright suite were pale and sickly in the false light.

  Lil sat on t
he remains of the sofa, where just over an hour ago she had sat talking to Sabrina. Her head ached, and there was dried blood encrusted on her face. It hurt to breath. No one paid her much attention, and no one had asked if she required medical treatment. Part of her wondered with detachment if that was Ryan’s doing. He had shown up not long after the police, but barely even glanced in her direction. He had left the room some time ago, Lil didn’t care where. She just stared at the ground and tried not the think.

  Ryan’s partner, Santiago, stood with Tome by the trolley the bellhop had wheeled in. Lil knew he was still staring at the summoning circle that had been drawn onto the silver tray the snake had been on. The name Sabrina Jeunet was written beneath it.

  “I should have realised it,” Tome said dejectedly. “The second it was wheeled in, I should have noticed it. Some scryer, huh?”

  Santiago, who had no idea what a scryer was, patted him on the shoulder. “How could you have known? I thought it was supposed to be invisible?”

  “I was too busy thinking about steak. And that bloody snake. Have you found it yet by the way?”

  “I don’t plan to be around when they do.”

  “If you see it, just remember Shadow Vipers hate heavy metal. They find Beethoven more soothing.”

  “I’ll... bear that in mind.”

  Ryan returned. He gave a blank glance at the body that lay twisted on the ground. Then at Lil still sitting unmoving on the sofa.

  “You okay, Shreiber?” he asked her. She could tell he didn’t really care.

  “Peachy,” Lil replied.

  “Need anything?”

  She shook her head. She didn’t want to talk, but Ryan was angry. He reverted to surnames when he was really pissed.

  “I’ll have someone drive you to the hospital,” he said. “But first, I need to know. What the hell happened here?”

  “I think that was pretty obvious,” Tome said from behind him. “I mean it isn’t like she tripped and fell now is it?”

  Ryan ignored him. “What were you doing here?”

  Lil sighed. “We got a tip from Bill de Hood. He said the woman who lived here knew the victims. We wanted to check it out.”

  “Right. Of course. Why exactly didn’t you tell me about this?”

  Lil didn’t answer. Ryan's stare started to make her uncomfortable.

  “Hugh...” she started.

  “Spare me your bullshit, Shreiber!” Ryan snapped. “You held out on me. You heard this woman knew something and you shut me out. Nice. After I went out on a limb for you.”

  “We didn’t know she was going to be important...”

  “So? If there was even the remotest chance of her being involved, you should have contacted me. We could have been here...”

  “Oh, and what?” Tome asked drily. “Stopped it? Un-bloody-likely, Hughbert. In case you haven’t noticed, this guy tends to kill everyone in the vicinity when he’s around.”

  “We would have been prepared. We could have stopped him once and for all.”

  “You would have been killed. Hell, it’s a miracle we’re still alive. You have no idea what this thing is capable of...”

  “So enlighten me already!” Ryan turned on him. “What is this thing? And don’t bullshit me, because you know what it is. You knew before, and you didn’t tell me.”

  “It’s an angel,” Lil said softly.

  Ryan did a double take. “A what?”

  “An angel, Hughbert,” Tome said. “You know? Wings, halo. He didn’t have a harp, but I suppose he doesn’t take it everywhere. Maybe he’s not musically inclined. I didn’t have the chance to ask while he was throwing me across the bloody room.”

  “An angel,” Ryan echoed with clear disbelief.

  “Yes. A glorified Ascended Being, in the flesh. It’ll take more than a few harsh words to slow it down. Especially this one. This one’s totally bloody mental.”

  “No. It’s not,” said Lil quietly. They waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t.

  Ryan sighed. “You should have told me.”

  “You wouldn’t have believed me. I’m sorry, Hugh, but I needed... I wanted to...”

  “Well, can’t say I’m completely surprised. You are freelancers, working for Von Drais. I should have expected this.”

  “Hugh, it wasn’t like that.”

  “Just forget it,” Ryan said coldly. “The Director is going to be all over me, demanding to know what your involvement in this is. I’m prepared to overlook the fact that you took evidence from one of my crime scenes, if only because you’ve helped me today. But from now on, stay away.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud, Hughbert,” Tome began.

  Ryan turned on him angrily. “And stop calling me Hughbert! God, anyone else would have shot you by now. You and her belong together, you’re both perpetual pains in my ass.”

  “I suppose that amounts to a migraine in your case,” replied Tome.

  “I’m warning you, Tome...”

  “Let’s just get this over with, once and for all, alright,” Tome said. He made a big show of taking off his coat and folding it neatly, and went into a rather poor boxing stance. “Let’s go, Hughie.”

  “Mike,” Lil said wearily.

  “No, fed boy here has been wanting to take a shot at me since we met. It’s obvious. Feelings of insecurity are all over his face. So come and have a go.” He bobbed on his feet in front of Ryan who was rubbing his eyes in irritation.

  “Listen, Tome...” he started.

  “No you listen. I’ve put up with your snotty, toffee nosed, college boy attitude all day. With your Harvard education, and your... Gary Glitter haircut. If I had a face like yours, I’d transplant it with John Merrick’s. At least then, you wouldn’t have to put up with little kids singing “Who let the dogs out” every time you drive by.”

  Ryan frowned. “What?”

  “You heard me. So come on, you honours graduate, alumni ponce. Give it your best-”

  Ryan slugged him. It was not a hard blow, but Tome went spinning to the floor. None of the other agents paid any attention. At least half of them had wanted to punch Tome the second he opened his mouth.

  Tome looked up at Ryan. “Ow,” he said. Then he grinned. “Not bad. I didn’t think you’d actually do it. There may be hope for you yet, Hughie.”

  “Copola,” Ryan called to another agent. “Escort these two to the hospital. If they give you any problems, arrest them. And if he even breathes too loud,” he added, glaring down at Tome, “you have permission to shoot him.”

  Lil rose with a wince, and stepped over Tome without a second glance. She left without being asked.

  She went through the rest of the night in silent stupor. Agent Copola drove them to the hospital and waited patiently while they were examined by a doctor. Lil had a concussion, some minor cuts and a cracked rib. She sat in silence as the doctor stitched the cut on her head. He wanted to keep the pair overnight for observation, since they had both sustained heavy blows to the head, but neither desired to spend the night in the hospital, and they left without a fuss.

  Copola dropped them off at Lil’s home. Lil bade Tome goodbye wordlessly, then marched slowly up to her apartment. Her cat Theodore was waiting for her. He was a black tabby with adorable white paws, and he fixed her with a stern look that said in feline: And where have you been?

  To make amends, she fixed him a meal of cat food and tuna, and stood in the kitchen watching him eat. She gave a smile as he stuffed his little furry face with fish, then suddenly burst into tears and cried uncontrollably as the weight of all that she had seen came down on her.

  She cried herself to sleep, sitting on her sofa in her worn clothes with Theodore curled loyally in her lap, and she dreamed of bright lights, and foreboding darkness, and a long fall that seemed to last an eternity.