In The Dark

  Now her entire face tightens. Man, this girl is expressive. I can read her moods with every shift of her features. She’d be a terrible blackjack or poker player. “Someone better than me?”

  Seriously? “Audrey, I don’t even really know you. But yeah. She’s…I consider her my girlfriend.” Did I really just fucking say that?

  Yeah. I really fucking did.

  “You’re in a committed relationship?” Audrey asks incredulously. She raises a brow and crosses her arms in front of her. “You should bring her to my party tonight. Let me meet your girlfriend.”

  “I already told you, I have plans.” I start to walk away, offering her up a little wave. “See ya around Audrey.”

  “Hope to meet your girlfriend soon, Gabe!” Audrey shouts after me.

  There’s no reply on my end. Hell, I can’t get away from her fast enough. I practically trip over my own feet as I walk away from her, refusing to look back. She’d probably still be watching me, hope and contempt written all over her face. I don’t need her shit. Fuck, I can’t believe she’s here. She could ruin everything if she finds out what I’m doing.

  I’m concentrating so hard about my newfound Audrey predicament, I end up halfway home before I realize…

  I never did find Lucy.

  “Damn, that was a lot to talk about.” Tristan rubs the back of his neck and stands. “Let’s have a drink. A toast to a new semester and new beginnings.”

  Jade sets down her notepad and pen and stands as well. “I’ll get the champagne.”

  I raise a brow and look from Tristan to Shep. “Who brought champagne?”

  “I did. Good stuff, too,” Shep says, giving Jade a slap on the ass as she walks past him and heads for the kitchen. We met at their house to discuss our plans for the grand opening of the casino Wednesday night. Jade has taken it upon herself to become our secretary, for lack of a better term. She took notes as we discussed our plans, offered to go shopping tomorrow for decorations and was going to round up a few of her friends to put them on an actual decorating committee.

  The last three years on opening day, we’ve thrown open the doors, had a free keg of lukewarm beer that we didn’t replenish and welcomed everyone back. Now we’ve got decorating committees and finger foods planned. Next thing I know Jade will stand at the front door and greet everyone warmly as we lie in wait inside, ready to take all their money.

  “Why the expensive bubbly?” I glance around the living room, watching our staff of four guys talk among themselves along with Tristan, who just ambled over there. We have a new guy on staff this year, someone Tristan met in class last spring who seems smart and ambitious. I figure he’ll be a good asset but we never know until they’re neck deep in crap and having to deal with a bunch of pissed off customers accusing him of stealing their money. We’ll see how he works out then, or if he cracks under the pressure.

  “It’s our last year together running this place. Figured that was enough cause for celebration.” Shep claps me on the back, his gaze assessing. Too assessing. The guy is intuitive which is annoying as fuck because I can feel the question hanging from his lips. “You all right, dude? You look tense.”

  That’s because I am tense. My shoulders ache. I texted Lucy when I got home and she hasn’t answered. Not even one word from her and that was hours ago. Why the hell is she avoiding me? We locked eyes. We saw each other yet she ran anyway. Is she mad at me? Disgusted with me? Disgusted with herself for being with me?

  Christ, I don’t know. That’s what’s making me the most crazy over all of this. I’m completely in the dark when it comes to what she’s doing.

  “My classes were bullshit,” I say, trying to brush off his concern, though my excuse sounds lame. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Only one more year and I know your load is light this semester.” He peers at me, like he can see right through me and I school my expression, going for neutral. “You sure you telling me the truth?”

  “Hey, you know me. I don’t have a care in the world.” I’m trying to play it off, something I’m real good at doing. It’s a crock of shit and Shep knows it but I wish he’d just let it go.

  “Bullshit.” He pauses, studying me. “Is it your parents? They giving you shit?”

  “They always give me shit,” I mutter.

  “Yeah, I know. But I mean extra shit. They always seem to pressure you over the summer with whatever various familial duties they can come up with to torture you.” Shep just nailed that one. That’s exactly what they do to me every summer. “Was it extra bad this year or what?”

  I decide to run with his suggestion. “You know how it is. Same old shit, different year. I guess I’m freaking out because it’s getting down to the wire. As in, it really is my last year of freedom and they’ve got me so twisted up I don’t even know how to celebrate it.”

  “Well, that fucking sucks. We need to make the most of this year, not let it get us down, right?” He claps me on the back again, so hard he practically pushes me forward. “So. I have a suggestion for you.”

  I frown. That doesn’t sound good. “What do you mean?”

  He quickly glances over his shoulder before he speaks. “Jade wants to set you up.”

  “What? With who?”

  “Sshh, I don’t want her to know I’m prepping you right now. It’s her old roommate, Kelli. Remember her? She just broke up with her lame ass boyfriend and she’s been feeling lonely lately. Jade thought that you two could possibly work out as a couple.”

  “She really thought that?” That sounds bogus. Jade knows what I’m all about. What Shep used to be all about. I don’t want to be a couple with anyone.

  Well, I used to not want to be a couple with anyone. There’s a certain someone I’m interested in but she runs from me like I have the plague.

  “Fine, Kelli has a minor crush on you and thinks you’d be just the solution to her dry spell problem.” Shep steps closer, looking vaguely traumatized. “Don’t tell her I said that though, okay? Both of those girls would never forgive me.”

  “You seem almost…afraid of them,” I suggest and he laughs, though it’s strained.

  “They don’t scare me.”

  I don’t say a word.

  He heaves out a huge sigh. “Fine, they scare the shit out of me when they gang up on me together. They’re like a tag team, swear to God.” Shep pauses. “So. Are you in?”

  “In for what?”

  “Fucking Kelli.”

  Nothing like the blatant charms of one Shepard Prescott. “No.”

  Shep looks surprised. “Really? No?”

  “No,” I repeat, this time with a shake of my head.

  Now it’s Shep’s turn to remain quiet for a moment. “Can you tell me why your answer is no?”

  “I just…I don’t have any interest in banging some random girl. Though I know Kelli, so I suppose she wouldn’t be so random, but still. I’m over that shit,” I mutter.

  Shep reaches out and rests the back of his hand on my forehead. I jerk away from his touch, bat his hand away when he reaches for me again. “Are you sick?” he asks. “Seriously, are you ill? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk like that.”

  “Talk like what? As in turning down the opportunity to get laid?” I shrug. “Guess I’m a changed man.”

  Shep starts to laugh. Like, loud booming laughter. So loud it draws Tristan’s attention and he comes over to join us.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Shep can hardly speak. “It’s nothing,” I answer for him.

  “Then why is he laughing so hard?” Tristan asks.

  “Because he’s an idiot.” More like a major dick but I refrain from saying it.

  Jade approaches, one hand clutching an open champagne bottle and four stacked red solo cups in the other hand. “Fancy schmancy cups for our fancy schmancy drink.”

  Shep gets his laughter under control and helps her dole out the cups, then filling each cup generously with champagne. Jade offers Shep a kiss on the che
ek and he wraps his arm around her waist, hauling her in close. Tristan mutters something about now that there are girls involved in our daily operation we’re spending too much money on a bunch of bullshit.

  This earns him a slap on the back of his head from Shep, which the dick thoroughly deserves.

  All the while, I can’t keep my eyes off of Jade and Shep. How easily they interact with each other. How she laughs at what he says. How his voice deepens when he talks low and just for her. How she leans into him, how he kisses her, the look in his eyes when she says something to him.

  They’re in love. Like, crazy, over the top in love and I have no idea what that feels like. I think I might’ve caught a glimpse of it with Lucy but before I could explore it further, we had to end it.

  I’m starting to firmly believe I want that. I deserve it. Love. Love with a girl. A girl who means something to me, who wants to please me and spend time with me as much as I want to please and spend time with her too.

  Damn it, I still want Lucy. Just thinking about her hurts my stupid, what I believed was an unbreakable heart. I rub a hand across my chest to ease the pain but it doesn’t help.

  “So, Gabe.” Jade’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “You know my friend Kelli, right? The one I used to live with?”

  Shep sends me a look and sips from his cup. Guess I’m supposed to play dumb with this question. “Yeah, I remember her.”

  Jade smiles. “She thinks you’re cute.”

  I smile in return and stretch out my arms. “They all think I’m cute.”

  Tristan makes gagging noises. Shep rolls his eyes.

  “You should ask her out sometime. I know she’d be willing,” Jade suggests.

  “Willing to do what?” I ask innocently.

  “Go on a date with you,” she replies, just as innocently.

  Uh huh. Poor Kelli is looking to get laid and for some reason Jade is pimping her friend out. This is sort of twisted. I don’t think Jade is purposely acting as Kelli’s pimp but that’s what it feels like.

  “I like Kelli but I think I’m going to pass,” I say as I polish off the rest of my champagne.

  The disappointed look on Jade’s face is nothing short of obvious. “Really? I shouldn’t tell you this but she recently broke up with her boyfriend.”

  “Right, and she’s still somewhat attached to him I assume. In mourning over the loss? Looking for someone to fuck him out of her system once and for all?”

  “Gabe!” Jade laughs nervously but from the look in her eyes, I think I nailed Kelli’s predicament. “Truthfully, they had an awful sex life and I told her she deserved more, which she so does. Everyone deserves a great sex life, right honey?” She smiles up at Shep.

  I don’t know how much more I can take, hanging out with the two lovebirds. “And you’re thinking I could remind her that sex isn’t so awful after all?”

  “Well, you have taken over the title of local sex god since I took Shep off the market,” she points out.

  “Hey, what about me?” Tristan asks, looking offended.

  “You’re too grumpy and sullen,” Jade says, waving a hand at him. “Kelli’s scared of you.”

  I smile and crumple the solo cup in my fist. Fuck it. Maybe I need a distraction. If Lucy is going to run away from me every time she sees me, I should give up. Why torture myself when I can have pretty much any girl on campus?

  I don’t mean to sound like a dick but it’s true, especially with Shep out of the game. One and done were our rules. Maybe I should return to that policy. Lucy was a distraction. That’s all. I need to get back to my old ways.

  One and done. In and out—literally and figuratively. No one gets hurt, everyone has fun and then it’s over.

  I like it.

  “You know what, I’ll do it,” I say, making Jade squeal and start jumping up and down. She comes over to me and wraps me up in a hug, squeezing me tight before she releases me.

  “Let’s go on a double date,” she suggests excitedly. “You and Kelli and me and Shep. We can go out to eat or for drinks or whatever, and you and Kelli can get to know each other better.”

  I love how we’re treating this like it’s something that’s not down and dirty. Sure, Kelli and I can go on a date and make all the small talk we want during dinner but afterward we’ll want to take it to another level, right?

  A let’s get naked together level.

  “Whatever you want to do, I’m game,” I tell Jade, my smile easy, my chest tight. This might not be the best idea in the world, but what other choice do I have? Lucy’s kicked me to the curb and I can admit it to myself—I’m butt hurt. Feeling a little down, a little miserable.

  Nothing like a quick lay to pick everything up.

  I scrub a hand over my face, across the back of my neck.

  God, I hope so.

  I found a part-time job within days of arriving at Santa Augustina, and though it’s not a job on campus, it will do for now. I’ve waitressed before and though it’s not my favorite thing, the restaurant I’m working at is small and right on the ocean and the food is delicious.

  My boss is nice too, which is important. I hate working for assholes but they’re everywhere so that means they’re hard to avoid. Whatever. I’m doing what’s best and working. Earning money and keeping all that cash I made over the summer in my savings account in case of an emergency.

  So far so good. Everything’s going according to plan.

  Well, not quite. A certain someone put a wrench in it but I can’t focus on that. Him. It’s a distraction and the last thing I need is a distraction I need to stay focused. On top of things. Getting through college is my number one goal. Losing my mind over a guy who’s terrific in bed is a bad move.

  It’s all about school and work. School and work.

  School. And. Work.

  I reported for work for the first time yesterday and my feet are killing me. I have on better shoes tonight, ones I found earlier at the local Kohl’s when Gina and I went there. I’m wearing my new black Nikes I bought on sale, along with a T-shirt with the restaurant’s name emblazoned across the front and black shorts. It’s a Saturday night and business is steady so the second I clock in, I hit the ground running.

  Working helps distract me from the real problem at hand—the problem that’s named Gabe and my reaction to discovering we go to the same college. I mean…what are the freaking odds? It’s not something we ever discussed and I kept it impersonal between us on purpose.

  Big mistake. Finding out the truth would’ve been real nice because at least I would’ve been prepared.

  Now I feel like a total bitch for ignoring him but what else was I supposed to do? I wish he’d never seen me. I considered dropping our shared class but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s only offered during the fall semester and I refuse to let some dumb guy dictate my schedule.

  Okay fine, he’s not a dumb guy. He’s a pretty awesome guy. But he’s not the guy for me.

  So I slid into class on Wednesday at the last minute and sat in the very back row again, in the desk right beside the door so I could dash out the moment Professor Bailey dismissed us. And trust that I did exactly that.

  I didn’t even see Gabe. Oh, I looked for him because I can’t help myself and it’s like I enjoy the torture or something but yeah. His pretty dark head was nowhere to be found. Neither was his pretty, handsome, gorgeous, beautiful face, nor that wondrous, sex-god body of his.

  Crap. I seriously need to get a grip.

  Focusing on work tasks, I bustle around the tiny restaurant, seating customers, taking their orders, refilling their glasses and bringing them their meals. The later it gets, the busier we are and I don’t even notice the two couples laughing and chatting easily until I stop in front of their table and ask if they want anything to drink.

  The moment I look up from my notepad, I freeze. Intense blue eyes are on me, drinking me in almost hungrily, yet with a flare of anger in their depths.

  It’s Gabe.

/>   Great.

  “I’ll have a beer,” the guy sitting on the opposite of the booth says as he slips his arm around the shoulders of a beautiful redhead. “What do you want, babe?”

  “Just some water please,” she says, smiling at me sweetly.

  The other girl—the one sitting next to Gabe—sends the redhead an incredulous look. “You’re not drinking?”

  “Someone needs to be the sober driver tonight,” the redhead says.

  Hmm, I like her. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

  “Well, I’m ready to get liquored up.” Gabe’s date smiles at me. I’d like to scratch her eyes out with my stubby fingernails but I keep it together. “I’ll have a beer too.”

  “What kind?” I ask tightly, not wanting to draw this out but crap. I have to take Gabe’s order next. And I can barely look at him, let alone talk to him.

  Did he know I work here? How could he? What are the freaking odds? I know this town is small but holy shit.

  “Bud Light.” She glares at the other guy when he groans. “What’s your prob?”

  “That shit is nothing but watered down piss. Sorry.” He flashes me an apologetic smile. “I’ll have a Pale Ale please.”

  That he knows we have Sierra Nevada stashed in the back indicates he’s been here before. “You got it.” I scribble down everyone’s order, taking way too long, until finally…finally I lift my head and meet Gabe’s gaze. “And for you?”

  He just stares at me, the anger, the hunger, all of it still there in his eyes. He remains silent and his jaw is so tight it looks like it could snap. I hold my breath, waiting for his response.

  Which still doesn’t come.

  Damn it, he’s not making this easy, is he? Though I didn’t either so I guess I’m getting what’s coming to me.

  “Aren’t you going to order something?” The girl nudges Gabe in the side.

  He glances down at her, his lips stretched into a grim line. Oh, he’s tense. I recognize that look. I’ve seen it before. “I’ll take a Pale Ale, too.” He swallows hard. “Nice to see you again. Lucy.” His dark voice sounds like he’d rather eat nails than see me again.