In The Dark

  Yet my knees weaken just hearing him say my name and I mutter a quick, “Coming right up,” before I scamper away from their table, heading back to the kitchen. I hear his date ask Gabe, “You know the waitress? How?” but that’s all I caught.

  How did he answer her? Not that I care. I don’t. Really.

  Shit. Yes, of course I care, but I can’t. I ran away from him like a coward and have avoided him ever since. Didn’t even answer his text because I’m a total chicken shit who can’t face the guy she screwed around with over the summer.

  The guy she almost fell in love with.

  Love. Ha. I’m completely delusional.

  I shake my head and grab a glass, violently pushing open the ice container and grabbing the scoop, shoving a bunch of ice inside the glass before I fill it with water. I grab a couple of Pale Ales, a Bud Light, three chilled glasses and set them all on a tray.

  My fingers are trembling and I take a deep breath. All because I just saw Gabe. I’ve lost it. Seriously, how can I let this guy rattle me like this? It should be no big deal. I can move on and so can he. He’s already going on a date with another girl—a really pretty girl—so he’s definitely moved on.

  But why did he look at me like that? Act like…he still cares or something? No, more like he seemed angry and that sucks. I don’t want to feel his wrath. Yeah, I haven’t handled this situation between us in the best way but I don’t know how else to do this.

  Avoiding my problems seemed like a good idea at the time.

  Blowing out a frustrated breath, I grab my tray and make my way back to their table. Gabe’s date watches me with assessing eyes as I hand out their drinks, then whip my notepad back out of my apron and ask if they’re ready to order.

  They are. Everyone orders first, Gabe waiting to be last and when I hear him finally speak, his deep voice rumbles across my nerve endings, making my legs quake. I try not to look at him but I do. Like I can’t help myself. He’s watching me too, that same intense look he gets right before he pounces. I used to like it when he pounced. It meant he was going to jump me, kiss me senseless, take off my clothes and have his deliciously wicked way with me.

  But he doesn’t look like he wants to pounce on me in the good way. More like in the, I’m so pissed at you, I’m going to take you out, extremely bad way.

  Not that he wants to hurt me…jeez. My thoughts are a total jumble. I’m not making any sense anymore, if I ever really did.

  I smile at all of them when Gabe finishes, gathering their menus and taking them with me as I scurry away. I place their order in the kitchen and then catch my boss’s eye.

  “I need some air. Give me a couple of minutes?” I ask.

  “Of course,” Barb says, waving me toward the back door that leads outside. She’s so nice. She owns the place and has been running it for years, acting as the official hostess and surveyor of…everything. I don’t know how she does it all. She has to be at least sixty-five. “Take a short break. If any of your tables need anything, I’ll cover for you.”

  Relief nearly overwhelms me. “Thank you,” I say wearily as I shed my apron, hang it on the hook by the back door and head outside.

  The moment I step out into the warm, breezy night air I let my shoulders sag as I hit the back of the building. I lean against the wall and stare at the ocean, shivering a little when the breeze comes at me more intensely. I hear the waves crash against the surf, see the flicker of a bonfire in the near distance and I wrap my arms around myself, warding off the sudden chill that’s come over me.

  It has nothing to do with the weather either. More like it’s all about Gabe and his chilly vibe.

  He hates me. And I don’t like that, though I brought it on myself. I just need to deal. He’s moved on, he’s found someone new, so I shouldn’t be all freaked out over the fact that we share a class. What does it even matter? Maybe eventually we could be…friends. That would be, um, nice. Then we could get together on occasion and have coffee. Talk about his new girlfriends all while I fantasize about being with him again. Oh, that would totally suck but I’d get over it.

  Eventually.

  “Lucy.”

  I freeze. Close my eyes. Lord help me, now I’m fantasizing that he’s actually out here with me, calling my name. Maybe I’ve gone crazy. That could be a valid conclusion. Things have been coming at me from all sides ever since I moved to this stupid town and now I’ve finally lost my mind completely.

  “Luce. Look at me.”

  I hear the crunch of his shoes on the gravel walkway and I realize that I’m not hallucinating. He’s really here, standing only mere feet away from me and he doesn’t sound mad. He sounds…

  Tortured.

  Chancing a glance at him, I see that yep, there he is. He doesn’t look mad either. No, more like he appears…devastated. Did I do that to him? Me? Do I really matter that much?

  “Luce, please. Talk to me. You owe me an explanation at least, don’t you think?”

  I face him head on and he steps closer, the light that’s right next to the back door casting him in an unnatural glow. The black polo shirt he has on—rich boy clothes, of course—fits him perfectly, straining across his chest, the sleeves tight around his biceps. His hair is longer on top, shorn close on the sides and he’s wearing jeans that mold to his legs perfectly.

  I’ve touched that body. I’ve had my hands and mouth and tongue over all his warm, firm skin. And he’s done the same thing to me. I shouldn’t think these types of thoughts. I should tell him to go back to his date and forget we ever saw each other.

  But I don’t say any of that. Instead, I take a step toward him. Then another. And still another, until I’m standing so close I can feel his body heat radiate toward me. I rest my hands on his chest, lift up on tiptoe and press my mouth to his.

  Holy shit, I’m kissing Lucy. Her soft, damp lips move with mine, the familiar taste of her sending a shot of adrenaline through my blood. That she came to me willingly instead of pushing me away is such a tangible relief I feel weak. And she feels so damn good in my arms, her mouth fused with mine, our tongues tangling, I swear my brain short circuits.

  Which makes sense because really, I should push her away. Demand an explanation for the shitty way she treated me. In fact, that sounds like a great idea.

  But first, kissing.

  I slide my arms around her waist and pull her into me. She whimpers against my lips, the sound almost breaking me and I deepen the kiss, if that’s even possible. Taking and taking from her until her chest is heaving with her heavy breaths and her fingers are clutching at the fabric of my T-shirt.

  “Stop,” she chokes out as she tries to push me away. “Go back to your date, Gabe.”

  Her words crash through my hazy brain, bringing me straight back into reality. I let her go and take a step backwards, trying to calm my breathing, ease my racing heart. I run a hand through my hair as we stare at each other silently and I can’t even begin to sort through the conflicting emotions warring inside of me.

  But the biggest question running through my head is why the hell is she working? What’s the deal with that? She’s such a contradiction, a total mystery.

  I want to know more. And I want her to trust me enough to open up and share all of those little details that make her who she is.

  “What are you doing, Luce?” I ask, my voice raw and raspy. I clear my throat, never let my gaze leave her. I need an answer but of course, she dodges my question.

  “You should go back inside,” she says quietly. “People are waiting for you.”

  “Fuck that.” She flinches and I soften my tone. “Why’d you run when you saw me in class?”

  She shakes her head, tearing her gaze from mine. “I, um, I panicked.”

  “But why? You know I’d never hurt you or be mean to you.” I don’t get it. Beyond the sexual stuff, we were friends. At least, I thought we were. I like her. I thought she liked me too.

  Lucy throws her hands up in the air, looking frustrated. ??
?Because you cut me off. You stopped texting me and I figured you’d…moved on or whatever. Which clearly you have.” She waves a hand toward the building, her mouth twisted into a grim line.

  “You’re not being fair,” I say. “Kelli’s just a friend.”

  “With benefits?” Lucy lifts a brow. “You’ve told me more than once that you were a total player in college. Back to your playing ways then?”

  Being brutally honest sucks when your words are thrown back at you. “Seriously, she’s Jade’s friend. And Jade is Shep’s girlfriend. It’s just a friend thing, you know? We’re hanging out. That’s it.”

  Fuck me, I’m lying. Yeah, I’m here tonight to hang out with Kelli all right. And most likely end the evening with her naked beneath me. Not that I was confident I could actually make any moves on her but I was hoping some liquid courage would help out with that.

  I’m a dick, right? A total emotionless dick.

  But now that I have Lucy standing in front of me, just the thought of getting Kelli naked leaves me cold.

  Leaves me disgusted with myself.

  “So the guy with you inside—that’s your friend Shep?” She seems oddly fascinated with that fact. I told her all about my friends. About Shep’s girlfriend, too. Is she interested because she wants to be a part of my life?

  Hey. A guy can dream.

  “Yeah. But that doesn’t really matter.” I step toward her and grab her by the upper arm gently. “What are you doing later?”

  “Going home and going to bed.” She tries to withdraw from my hold but I don’t let her go. I can’t. Not yet. “What do you want, Gabe?”

  “To talk to you.” I drift my thumb across her skin, feel the rise of goose bumps from my touch and they give me hope. Her body still reacts to my touch. That has to mean something, right?

  She sighs, the sound almost…hopeless. “There’s no point. What’s done is done. Can’t we just—let this go?”

  Anger suffuses me and I try to tamp it down. But fuck, it’s hard. Her words fuel some untapped spot within me that causes a fire to roar in my belly. “Is that what you really want?”

  She nods. Doesn’t say a word.

  “Really?” I glare at her and she looks away.

  I reach for her, my fingers curling around her chin and forcing her to look at me. She lifts those wide, dark eyes to mine, shining with vulnerability and confusion and hope and I give in to my urges, claiming her mouth for one swift, deep kiss.

  When we part, she gasps, stumbling away from me when I let her go. “This isn’t over,” I murmur and she presses her lips together. “Not by a long shot.”

  Without another word I turn on my heel and leave her standing there. My heart is thumping wildly and I swear to God it’s going to fly right out of my chest. We’re not going to end this. Not now. Not if I have anything to say about it.

  I round the building and walk through the main entrance, smiling at the hostess Barb as I pass by her. I’ve come here many a time with Shep and Tristan. This is one of our favorite places to eat. So it’s pretty fucking unbelievable that the first girl I’m actually experiencing real feelings for works here.

  “Where’d you go?” Kelli asks as I slide into the booth next to her.

  “Saw someone I knew. Talked to them a little bit.” I offer her a smile, pleased that at least I’m not lying. I did see someone I know. Someone I kissed. Someone I want to keep on kissing.

  “Who?” Shep asks and I send him a glare.

  “Yeah, who?” Jade watches me with curiosity.

  Shit.

  “You both sound like a pair of owls sitting there,” I joke, trying to change the subject. “Did you know when my sister was little she used to love owls? Had owl wallpaper and everything.”

  “You have a sister? How did I not know this?” Kelli leans forward, touching my arm. Thank God she fell for my distraction tactic.

  I shrug. “She’s younger, just graduated high school. She started community college last week.”

  “What’s her name?” Kelli asks brightly.

  “Sydney. Though I mostly call her Syd.” The moment the name drops from my lips I turn to see Lucy standing by our table, her arms laden with our dinner baskets. The look on her face says it all. I know what she wants to ask.

  How’s Syd?

  But I keep my mouth shut, watching as she distributes our meals to each of us, asks if we need anything else before she dashes off.

  “Our waitress is jumpy,” Jade says the minute Lucy’s gone. “I think you make her nervous.”

  “Who makes her nervous?” I ask just before I pop a fry into my mouth.

  “You do.” Jade points her finger straight at me. “She can hardly look you in the eye.”

  “Maybe she thinks you’re cute,” Kelli says, sounding put out.

  Is she jealous? Please God say it isn’t so. I barely know this chick. And I’m definitely not looking for a relationship with her.

  “Maybe she thinks you’re a total douche,” Shep adds. “I bet you’ve somehow rejected this chick before and now she hates your guts.”

  Perceptive asshole.

  “Maybe we’re all making a big deal out of nothing,” I mutter as I concentrate on eating. Enough talking. I’m done with talking.

  Talking gets us nowhere.

  My shift dragged on forever. When Gabe and his entourage finally left, I sagged with relief. But it was short lived. It was so busy I could hardly catch a breath and it stayed that way until we closed at eleven. I’m only just now about to leave for the night and it’s almost midnight.

  “You drive home safe, okay? See you Tuesday!” Barb calls out to me as I exit the restaurant.

  “I will, thanks,” I tell her as I shut the door behind me. My Toyota is parked in the lot, far away from the actual restaurant but I don’t feel unsafe. It’s well lit and there’s no one out here. Nowhere to hide.

  I mentally add the tips up that I earned and smile. I might only be working at The Shack part time but if my tips stay like this it’ll more than make up for the less hours. I might not need that on campus job after all, though I’m still going to look for one. I bet I could work both, and keep up with coursework. Not like I’ll have any friends or a man to distract me from what’s important…

  Referring to a man leads me to think of Gabe and a shiver steals through me. Damn him and his extraordinary good looks. The way he scowled at me, the possessive, undoubtedly raw and real way he kissed me. I’d wanted to give in so badly. It would’ve been easy too. But I couldn’t. I just…I could not say, oh yeah Gabe, let’s hook up after I get off work tonight.

  No way. Why drag this on even longer than necessary? What’s done is done. It was nice, what we shared. A pleasant, sexy and sex-filled little fling for the summer. He’s mad at me and I get it. I’m a little mad at him too. I should’ve apologized but seeing him really threw me for a loop. Maybe I’ll apologize to him when I see him in class on Monday. That would be good. It will be serious and heartfelt and he’ll forgive me and we’ll move on from this mess that is our lives.

  It’s not until I’m practically on top of my car that I see another car is parked on the other side of it. A familiar car, too. And an equally familiar person steps out of the shadows, his deep voice resonating, washing over me as he says my name.

  I about jump out of my skin when I spot Gabe standing there solemnly watching me.

  Resting my hand against my chest, I take a deep breath. “Gabe! What are you doing?”

  “Waiting for you.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest.

  “What happened to your date?”

  He dismisses my question with a flick of his head. “I sent her home with Jade and Shep.”

  “But I thought…”

  “There’s nothing to think about. Forget her.” He steps forward, his gaze almost pleading as it locks with mine. “I need to talk to you.”

  I sigh. “I already told you. There’s nothing left to say.”

  “I find that hard t
o believe. Just…sit with me for a while. We’ll walk down to the beach.” He waves a hand in the ocean’s direction.

  “It’s pitch black dark out there,” I point out, trying to tamper down the fear tingeing my voice. I’m being ridiculous. I’m not scared of the ocean.

  Of Gabe? Oh, hell yes. But not the ocean.

  “The moon is half full.” He points to the sky and I glance upward, noting that it is indeed half full. “Your eyes will adjust. Come on, Luce. It’ll be like old times.”

  That’s what I’m afraid of. Maybe I don’t want to relive old times.

  Silly liar, of course you want to relive old times, especially if it means Gabe’s mouth between your legs and your fingers buried in his hair when you hold his head against you while he licks you to orgasm.

  Ugh. I close my eyes. No orgasm talk. I don’t want one, not from Gabe.

  Your lies are ridiculous and you know it.

  Scowling I shake my head. I hate that little naggy voice that resides in my brain.

  “I’m really tired. It was a long night.” I hang onto my last excuse as best as I can but it’s no use. He can see right through me.

  “I won’t keep you long, I promise. We don’t even have to talk,” he says.

  “Then why are we doing this?”

  His eyes soften as he studies me. “I just want to spend time with you, Luce.”

  Okay, that sent about a thousand tiny little birds flying in my stomach. Smiling faintly at him, I unlock my car door, toss my purse onto the passenger seat and shut the door, locking it back up and sliding the keys into my front pocket. I don’t even bring my phone, which is nothing short of a miracle. “Let’s go.”

  He grabs a blanket out of the trunk of his car—why in the world does he have a blanket? How many girls has he done on that blanket?—and we head down to the beach, Gabe reaching out to grab hold of my hand when we have to make our way through a steep, rocky area. Once we reach the smooth sand I let go of his hand and walk beside him, nodding in answer when he asks if we should stop and sit at one particular point.