Ian kisses slowly up my body then and when he reaches my head, he lifts the pillow. He kisses all over my face and checks my eyes. “You okay?” he asks sweetly.
“Ta—Ps—sheah,” I stutter.
He laughs softly and then goes completely still. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.” My insides feel like jelly, and he just told me he loved me. I don’t think it could get any better than this.
He runs his finger over my eyebrows and across my nose and cheeks. “It’s probably not fair that I said that right then. You don’t have to say it back.”
I am still a little speechless. “I meant it. But yeah. You’re really … good at that. You could probably talk me into … anything…” I admit with a grin.
“I’m gonna get out of your room before I lose what little is left of my restraint. But this was just a small sample of what I plan to do to you. You looked too enticing laying there, looking at me like that.” He kisses me and sits up quickly. “As soon as we leave tomorrow, if you’re up for it, I have a plan.” His eyes never leave my mouth as he talks.
I lean up on my elbows. “Oh, I’m up for it.”
He runs his hand down my breasts again and his eyes have that hooded look he gets that oozes sex. “I have to get out of here. If your dad catches me in here like this, it won’t bode well for me.” He puts my shorts on first, leaving my tank top for last. “I hate to cover them up,” he whispers, leaning down to give each side one more kiss.
“When you sleep with me every night, I want you nekkid.” He laughs before he walks out of my room.
I go to sleep thinking about sleeping with him every night. Nekkid.
My parents make a huge breakfast before we leave the next morning. We’ve had a really nice visit. Charlie pulls me aside in the kitchen when we’re cleaning up.
“So Ian …” She looks at me and waits for me to say something, and I look at her and wait for her to say more. Finally, she says, “He is crazy over you. That man is in love with you.”
“You think so?” I ask, unable to stop beaming.
“I do,” she answers. “Are you ready for that, Sparrow Kate?”
“I’m in love with him too,” I tell her.
“Well, just please proceed carefully, baby girl. We really don’t want to see you get hurt. He’s the first one I’ve seen you date that I know has the potential to really hurt you. But it’s also because I see how much you care about him. Just, please…” She hugs me and leans her forehead on mine.
“I’ll try, Mama,” I say. I know I’m already in too deep. If I lose him now, I may as well curl up in a hole and let worms overtake my body.
She pats my cheek and looks at me with concerned eyes. I want to take her worries away, but I know that I have the same uncertainties. It’s a big risk I’m taking, I know this. I can’t stop now.
“Okay, make sure…” She shakes her head and stops herself from saying anything else. “Let Jeff and Laila know we’ll be by to pick up the car on Tuesday afternoon. I hate that we couldn’t come to the show. We just couldn’t miss this weekend with Michael gone.” She kisses my cheek. “I really wish you could have seen him while you were here. Maybe give him some closure.”
“I don’t know how much more closure I could give him,” I tell her. “I do wish we could have stayed friends, but I get it.”
“Yeah, maybe eventually, he’ll come around to that.”
“Love you, Charlie.”
“Love you, too.”
Ian and I climb into the car, all packed up and with snacks from Charlie even though we’re just going the 45 minutes south to San Francisco. We look at each other with unspoken promise. My belly tickles like I’ve just gone down a huge dip in the road. I have to look out the window and catch my breath. Ian grabs my hand and we drive the whole way to San Francisco with our hands laced together. We don’t talk much. It’s a gorgeous day and we’re comfortable in our silence. Ian lets a deep breath whoosh out of his mouth, and I look over and realize he’s nervous.
“What are you up to?” I ask.
“What makes you think I’m up to something?” He holds his shoulders up with fake innocence.
I poke him in the gut.
He goes over the Golden Gate Bridge, which means we aren’t going to Jeff and Laila’s. The houseboats in Sausalito look so pretty, floating happily on the water. It reminds me of the night we came and ate over here, watching the houseboats. I think Ian loves them as much as I do.
“Oh, look at that one!” I point to a huge white one with windows all the way around each side.
We take a turn toward the houseboats and admire several large ones. Some of them have full gardens on their decks. One is painted every color imaginable. A few look too big to move.
“These huge ones are really nice, but I thought we might prefer one more like this…” Ian says, stopping in front of the cutest little houseboat I’ve ever seen. It has a gorgeous garden on one end of the deck. The roof goes into a point, and the houseboat looks like a cottage treehouse on the water. “Think you would enjoy staying here for a few days? Or would you be more comfortable at Jeff and Laila’s?”
“It’s just right!”
I’m so excited. I hop out of the car before we’ve even stopped all the way. It’s absolutely perfect. The thought of being in this quaint little getaway with Ian for three days is enough to make me hyperventilate.
Ian shuts the car door and comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Okay, Goldilocks, why don’t we step inside and see if it really is?”
We step inside and I gush over every feature. I can’t help it. It does feel like I’ve stepped into a storybook. It’s cozy with plush, comfortable fabrics, a wood floor and an old-fashioned wood-burning fireplace in the corner. The kitchen has glass-door cabinets and a bistro table overlooking the water. Two curtains hang on either side from the ceiling and behind the curtain is a huge bed covered with soft pillows. The loft has the slanted ceilings and an all-white bed. Outside the loft is a deck that winds around the whole upper level. The view from the deck is extraordinary.
“I love it, Ian. I can’t believe you found this place.”
“It’s how I’ve managed to distract myself from sneaking back into your bedroom the last couple of nights,” he says, tucking my hair behind my ear and kissing me. Softly. Gently. We’re still in the loft and I feel the boat floating more up here than the other two levels. Kissing Ian and floating, that sounds about right. “Someone else was scheduled to be in here, but I presented my case. Rather desperately,” he adds.
“Is this our first vacation together?” I raise both eyebrows.
“Yes, yes, I think it is.” He tickles my side as he says it and I jump out of reach. He’s on my tail, and I run down the narrow stairs to the living room. I give him a warning look as he gets close, and he holds up a hand, letting me know he’s done tickling. For now.
I take a better look in the kitchen and see it’s fully loaded with food: bottles of wine, loaves of French bread, and a huge basket of fresh vegetables and fruit. Inside the refrigerator, there’s specialty cheeses, eggs and bacon. Sliced ham and a rotisserie chicken. Flowers sit on the countertop and two boxes of Ghirardelli chocolates.
“I had some help. Turns out Judi, the owner, is a romantic at heart.”
“Oh my goodness, look, we even have two kinds of ice cream in the freezer. Chocolate Peanut Butter and Maple Nut, my favorites. How did you know?” I stare at Ian, stunned.
“Tessa.” He grins.
“Tessa!” That girl. I can’t believe how well she’s doing at keeping secrets from me. I’m gonna have to have a talk with that girl. Enough is enough. She better start spilling.
“Well, if you’re not hungry, should we go explore the town? Go kayaking? Um … fishing?” He holds up a little book and recites all the things that are available to do within a 10-20 mile radius. “Hot air balloon ride? Look at the redwoods?”
“I’m happy just staying in.
We have all we need right here. It’s gonna take us a while to eat all this food. And look at all the movies they have. Plus, cable.” I hold up the long list of channels. “Unless you wanted to go do some daredevil things this afternoon.” I shrug. “I’m game for anything.”
“I’m game for anything, too, but all I really want to do is look at you,” he says.
It’s the way he looks at me that says so much more.
Thunk. There went my self-restraint dropping to the bottom of the ocean and anchoring us to this very spot.
“I’ll be right back.” I leave before I maul him and go to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. I take my toothbrush out of my purse; it’s always handy to carry a toothbrush wherever you go. You never know when you’re gonna have sex for the first time … that you can remember.
When I come out, Ian has brought in our suitcases. He looks like he might have splashed cold water on his face too. I know he yanked on his hair because it’s got an extra lilt to it that wasn’t there earlier.
He stands between the curtains of the bedroom and I walk to him, staring him down. His eyes rove over my body and land on my lips. He gives his hair another tug and I realize he’s trying not to swear. It just hits me that he’s showing restraint in more areas than one. I can’t stop the smile that widens with each step toward him. When I reach him, he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist, holding me up as if it’s nothing. He kisses me like he’s starving.
He turns around and tosses me on the bed and leans over me, kissing me just as hard. I pull off his shirt, anxious to get to his skin. He pulls off my dress and curses when he sees my red push-up bra and panties. A laugh escapes my lips and he looks flushed. I unbutton his pants then, initiating a step further than I have yet. He pulls them the rest of the way down and I’m in for a ginormous surprise. It’s been dark or he’s hidden it well under pants or the covers, but there is no hiding how much he now wants out of his pants and into me. He grins sheepishly at me. “What can I say?” he says softly.
“Say you won’t stop this time.”
“If this is what you want, I won’t.”
I reach out and carefully pull off his boxer briefs, not quite sure where to focus my eyes. What’s the right thing to do here? Is this a time when it really is okay to ogle? Or try to focus on his eyes in a loving way? I can’t help it, I have to peek.
And that’s what a real man looks like.
I had no idea it would be that … impressive.
He’s kissing me and I can’t think anymore. I lose myself for a while in his tongue and arms and all the places his fingers explore. He has me yelling his name before he even lays gently on top of me and slowly—so slowly—he inches inside of me. My eyes are wide on his as he takes his sweet time.
“You’re in me,” I whisper.
“I know,” he grins.
“I love it.”
He closes his eyes for a second and says, “I can’t take it when you say things like that.”
He leans down and kisses me and while the sweetness doesn’t go away, a whole new level of desire takes over.
We begin to move, slow and steady. He goes deeper and deeper, until I feel like he must be bumping every internal organ and giving it a kiss. It’s too good and suddenly I’m gasping, “I can’t go slow anymore,” in a voice I don’t recognize.
“Go, baby, I’m right here with you.” His eyes never leave my face as he guides my hips and we find a new rhythm.
I do. I go. And the pleasure escalates to such a frenzy, I’m afraid I’ll scare every houseboat neighbor within 1,000 yards.
- 17 -
For the next day and a half, we don’t leave the bed unless it’s to get food, go to the bathroom, take a bath together, or to christen the other two beds in the house-boat. We’re in the loft bed now, looking at the water as Ian lightly tickles my skin with his fingertips. My body feels languorous, or as my mama would say, limp as a dishrag. I am completely spent, but still whenever he turns to me, wanting me again, my body heats up for more. I’d say more than a half dozen times would not be stretching the truth … I think I lost count after the fifth time. And I know we did it on the deck and the second bathroom at least once. Oh wait, twice on the deck.
I can’t get enough of him. He touches me and makes me feel like a hungry nymph. I’m trying not to look at him right now because we need to get up and get ready for his show, but as long as he keeps doing that across my chest, I won’t move. I’ve never felt more beautiful in my life than I do right now, lying here completely naked in this bed with Ian Sterling. He has been over every single millimeter of my flesh and acts as if he’s discovering something new with each glance. I have also studied him very carefully and think there can’t be a finer specimen on this planet than him. He is perfection in every way. His body is the kind that you see on billboards but don’t really believe can exist in real life. And every underwear ad I’ve seen, pfft. They don’t have anything on Ian, let me just make that clear.
If there were a line-up of a thousand penises, I’d recognize his in a heartbeat.
I start laughing at that thought and can’t stop. Ian leans up on his elbow. “What?”
I shake my head and can’t get a word out, I’m laughing too hard. When I laugh this hard, I do a long wheeze and it sounds like I’m not breathing. ‘Cause I’m not.
He starts laughing, too, because the wheeze is infectious. You can’t not laugh at the wheeze. It’s impossible.
“I want to know what’s so funny.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to tell him, but all I can get out is, “Your penis!”
He laughs but not quite as hard as before. “Uh, my penis makes you laugh?”
“Nooo. Yes. No!”
“And I would have thought you’d say, ‘parts’ or ‘willy’ or some other cutesy name.”
“It’s where my dad put his foot down. My mom wanted to call the penis a ‘fountain’ but my dad said no way.”
It’s his turn to wheeze. “I’m so glad he didn’t let that one slip in.” He sits up and pulls me with him. “What about my penis?”
“I love it.” I snort. “I’m sorry. I am not good at talking about these things.”
“Well, I’m glad. Although, you have me a little self-conscious at the moment.”
“Noooo, you don’t need to be. I think you have the best one I’ve ever seen. I mean … I haven’t seen many. Or any, really. Other than pictures, but…” I throw my head in my hands. “Please don’t make me talk about penises.”
“You brought it up! Just tell me what had you howling.” He gives me a good shake.
I whisper, “I thought if there were a line-up of a thousand penises, I’d be able to pick out yours. Because it’s the best. Massive. Those underwear ads are of little puny guys with nothing … I guess seeing one like yours would send young girls and horny women and little old ladies into fits in public.”
Ian is just staring at me like I’m a lunatic and then he falls back on the bed and laughs until he cries. I think I’m going to have to give him CPR the way he’s carrying on.
“Oh my GOD! You are a nut! You’re crazy! You’re crazy and I love you and that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Well, it’s just true,” I sniff, not sure I like being called a nut, but my heart still going into overdrive that he’s telling me he loves me.
He wipes his eyes and continues to laugh, shaking his head and then realizing I’m not laughing anymore. “Hey, come here. Don’t you get miffed at me. I think you’re adorable.”
I roll my eyes.
“Baby, you just told me I’m massive and that underwear ads have little puny guys with nothing. I might not have been thinking right when I called you a nut or crazy. Clearly, you are the smartest person with the best eyesight EVER, and I commend you on your excellent vision.”
“That’s better,” I scowl for as long as it will hold and then crack up again.
Getting ready is fun with Ian. It
takes twice as long because we end up having sex in the shower, but I diffuse my hair, leaving it curly, which helps save a lot of time. Ian told me it’s his favorite way that I wear my hair after he saw it wet that day in New York. Pale and naturally curly hair. Next he’ll be saying he prefers me with no makeup.
I put on a silver tube dress that fits like a glove.
“Speaking of massive,” Ian murmurs, pushing down the top of my dress to kiss my breasts before grudgingly covering them up. “They—I mean—YOU look like the one I never want to leave my bed.”
My body burns with that thought. “I thought you were a leg guy,” I say as we get into the car.
“I’m all about your legs,” he agrees. “Until I see your tits and then I can’t get enough of them. But really your aaa—bum. Your bum is out of this world.”
I can’t help but laugh at him.
“Your mouth, though, that’s my favorite. Your lips. Your smile. When you smile, everything else fades away.”
“Unless I take off my shirt.”
“Well, yeah, it is distracting when you do that. I do always go back to your mouth, though, don’t I?” He runs his fingers over my lips.
Sigh. He melts me.
We load all the equipment into the back of The Great American Music Hall and run into the guys in Ian’s band—Charlie, Chris, and Aaron. They’re all cute, scruffy, and friendly. Reagan Waters walks by and Ian hollers. “Reagan, come here. Reagan, I’d like you to meet Sparrow. Sparrow, Reagan.”
Reagan gives me the long appraisal that most girls always do with me at first and grins when she sees both of Ian’s hands on me. Her catlike eyes reach mine, and she give me a slow smile. “Well. It’s about time Ian met his match,” she says. She tosses her reddish-blonde hair back and holds out her hand.