My Very UnFairy Tale Life
Jenny’s First Adventure
A Short Prequel
Copyright 2012 Anna Staniszewski
Jenny’s First UnFairy Tale Adventure
I wasn’t just sitting around twirling my hair when my life went from normal to magical. I was in the middle of gym class, trying to convince my teacher that mini-golf should be taught in school. I’d just spouted one of the catchy slogans I’d invented the night before when—Kapow!—something exploded on the other side of the gymnasium.
Kids all around me screamed like they were in a horror movie.
I whirled around to find a gnome standing next to the bleachers. Seriously. A gnome. With bright orange hair, a bright orange beard, and a bright orange lollipop in his hand.
“Jennifer?” he said. “Anyone here named Jennifer?”
All eyes swung toward me. “Um,” I said, half-raising my hand. “I usually go by Jenny.”
The gnome’s face lit up as he practically skipped toward me. He really was a gnome. Unless the taco I’d had for lunch was making me—and everyone else in the class—hallucinate. The beef had been particularly spongy that day.
“Who are you?” I managed to say.
“I’m Anthony,” the gnome answered, sticking out a pudgy hand and furiously shaking my fingers. “And I’m going to be your magical guide!”
I checked to see if my teacher, Mrs. Hartley, was going to do anything about the situation, but she was busy being frozen in shock.
“Are you really magical?” I asked.
“Sure am!” the gnome chirped, sticking the lollipop in his mouth. “See?” He snapped his fingers and—pop!—an enormous duck appeared in the middle of the gym floor.
“Quack,” it said. It wasn’t actually making a quacking sound; it was literally saying “quack” like it was imitating a duck. And, on top of that, its feathers were bright purple. Clearly, this was no regular animal.
“No birds allowed in the gym,” Mrs. Hartley said weakly.
I heard something hit the floor behind me. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw that a few of the kids in my class had fainted.
I should have been scared. I guess any normal person would have been. But if there was one thing my best friends, Trish and Melissa, were always teasing me about, it was that I was definitely not normal. So while everyone else in my gym class was passing out, I was getting annoyed.
“Maybe we could talk about this somewhere else?” I asked the gnome. “Since you’re freaking everyone out?”
Anthony’s grin faded. “You humans are so sensitive.” He grabbed my arm and—pop!—everything around me disappeared. Instantly, I was thrown into an upside-down tilt-a-whirl. I tried to scream, but the sound got sucked right back into my throat.
Then the horrible feeling faded, and I realized we were in my bedroom. My legs gave out, and I flopped onto the carpet. The purple duck landed next to me with a thump.
“Ouch,” it said.
I couldn’t deal with talking ducks at that moment, so I ignored the creature and glared up at Anthony instead.
“Couldn’t we have just walked to my house instead of doing…whatever that was?” I said.
The gnome rolled his eyes. “Look, if you’re going to be traveling between worlds, you might as well get used to how it feels.”
I sat up. “Did you just say something about traveling between worlds?”
Anthony’s grin came back. “That’s right! I told you, I’m going to be your guide, and you, Jenny-girl, are going to be an adventurer.” He puffed out his chest and looked at me like he expected me to jump up and down with glee.
“What’s an adventurer?” I got up and went to sit on my bed. The purple duck had made itself at home and was roosting in between my pillows. I pretended not to notice.
Anthony let out a loud sigh. “I knew this world had no magic, but this is ridiculous!” He shook his head, his orange hair bouncing. “Okay, fine. When you’re an adventurer, you travel to magical worlds and swoop in to save the day. All the magical creatures adore you for helping them, and they reward you with riches and jewels and a million other things. It’s pretty much the best job ever.”
“A job? I’m nine! I’m not even allowed to babysit.”
“You are kind of young to be an adventurer, but the Committee sees a lot of potential in you.” Anthony wrinkled his nose. “Though I’m not sure why. Anyway, this first mission would be a trial run. If you do well, you could become a full-fledged adventurer. So, are you up for it? A life of magic and adventure and blah blah blah?”
I glanced at my bookcase which was stuffed full of stories about regular kids who were thrown into magical situations. I’d always loved disappearing into those tales. In comparison, real life seemed so boring.
“Well?” said Anthony, crunching on his lollipop.
That’s when I realized: this was it. If I wasn’t taco-hallucinating, then this was my chance to become one of those kids in those amazing stories. My life would never be boring again.
“Yes!” I said with a laugh. “Trish and Melissa will never believe me when I tell them about this!”
Anthony shook his head. “Sorry, Jenny-girl. No telling anyone about your adventures. You have to keep the magical worlds a secret. Otherwise, you’ll get in serious trouble.”
My excitement dimmed. “What about the other kids in my gym class? They saw you just like I did. Doesn’t that mean they already know about magic?”
“Not anymore,” said the gnome. “Right before we left, I wiped their memories so they’d forget all about me.”
I hugged a pillow to my chest. “But what’s the fun of going on fantastic adventures if I can’t share them with anybody?”
“Don’t you worry,” said Anthony. “You’ll make tons of magical friends, and you’ll be able to tell them all about your missions. It’ll be a blast. I promise.”
He was right. How could I turn down a chance like this when it meant having a whole new, amazing life? And who knew, maybe one day I’d find a way to tell my friends about it all.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll do it.”
“Fabulous!” said the gnome. Then he grabbed my hand and snapped his fingers. Before I could even brace myself—pop!—we were off again.
This time, after an eternity of spinning through suffocating rainbows, I collapsed on a pile of dirt. The smell of burnt wood filled my nose as Anthony pulled me up to my feet. I was just going to ask what had happened to the purple duck when I spotted something swooping high above our heads.
I really had to be seeing things because the swooping figure looked like a dragon. And worse, the dragon appeared to have a bathtub in its mouth.
I blinked and blinked as the creature disappeared among the gray clouds. Wings. Spikes. Claws. Unless I had a dragon-shaped piece of dirt in my eye, what I’d just seen was for real.
“Where are we?” I whispered.
“The locals call it Pssshaazz,” said Anthony, making a sound that reminded me of sizzling oil. “But I just call it Dragonville. Either way, the residents need your help.”
As I glanced around, I realized why it smelled like something was burning: something had been burning. We were in the middle of what used to be a forest, but was now mounds of ash and singed wood. It looked nothing like a magical land.
“What happened to this place?” I said as I followed Anthony down a barren path through the woods.
“A few things you should know about dragons, Jenny-girl. They like to burn things. And they like to steal things. And they’re not very bright.”
“And we’re
here to help them? It sounds like we should be finding a way to lock them up.”
“Technically,” said Anthony, jumping over a fallen tree branch, “we’re here to stop them from burning the entire land. They’ve been at war with the sprites ever since the sprite queen said the dragon king had a thick neck. Things pretty much went downhill from there.”
“What about the sprites?” I said. “Anything I should know about them?”
“They’re feisty things, that’s for sure. Most of the time, they fly so fast that you can’t even see them. But the one thing sprites are known for is their metalworking magic.”
“What does that mean?” I said. “Do they make pots and pans and stuff?”
Anthony giggled. “I guess they could, but no. They make amazing crowns and jewels. Their stuff is all over the magical kingdoms. Whenever you see a fancy tiara, one that twinkles just a bit more than it should, chances are the sprites made it.”
Suddenly, I thought of the purple and silver bracelet that had once been my mother’s. It was one of the few things I’d inherited of hers after my parents had disappeared a