fingers…poof…and it goes away. Sounds too simple, doesn’t it? Well, it might not be simple, but it doesn’t have to be hard.
Friends, we all exhibit behaviors we aren’t very proud of and if we’d stop long enough to reflect we know this to be true. Let’s face it, life happens and it’s not always sunshine and roses. Yet, neither is it always darkness and thorns. For most of us, life is somewhere in between.
So why do we ‘act out’ or ‘over indulge’ in some other form of negative behavior? I’d venture to say we’ve become accustom to it, like and old tattered piece of clothing we feel comfortable wearing. Some of us wear anger, lies, spite and hatefulness close to us because we know how it feels, how it smells, how it looks. It’s familiar.
We’re comfortable in it; like a favorite pair of jeans or shoes. Unfortunately, we can become so content in our bad behavior we barely notice, if at all, when it’s gotten out of control. Hardly recognizing when our tattered clothing is so tight and constricting it’s hurting others. In addition, we don’t realize what we’d gain by losing it because unfortunately, a lot of us are addicted to this ill-chosen behavior.
So how do we ‘lose it’? Might I suggest a whole new wardrobe, so to speak. For instance, you could try on consideration and see how it feels; or, how about a brand new pair of happiness? Of course, there’s always an infinite supply of kindness just waiting for someone to take it home. Thankfully, the wardrobe possibilities are abundant…and endless.
So the next time you feel the urge to put on that old tattered bad behavior…just lose it. Instead, put on your new wardrobe and turn love and joy back on in your life. And soon that new wardrobe will be so comfortable you’ll never leave home without it. You’ll find yourself wearing kindness more; often not getting out of bed until you put on gratitude. Suddenly, you’ll be wearing shades of thoughtfulness, joyfulness and respect. A hatful of forgiveness may always be on your head. Trust me everyone will notice the positive changes in you. And they just might want a new wardrobe too.
So, wear your new wardrobe well and often. Eventually friends, it will become a well-worn and well-loved piece of clothing you can’t live without.
Can you imagine…how much you’ll gain by losing it?
Choose Carefully
Column #283, 3-18-12
There is a new movie being released called “A Thousand Words” in which, Eddie Murphy, a fast talking agent, through the means of a guru and a magic tree learns he has only one thousand words left to say before he dies. I don’t know about you, but this is one of the most profound and inspiring plot lines for a movie that I’ve heard of since “Pay It Forward,” which is one of my favorites.
Now, it is often said, “Money and power rule the world.” And even though people with influence and position set precedents the rest of society follows; exactly how they go about doing this is by using our preferred means of communication…words. Making ‘words,’ in my opinion, more powerful than money and power, agreed?
Therefore, if you knew you had only 1,000 words left before you died; what would you say? To whom would you speak? How many more times would you utter the words “I love you,” “I’m sorry.” “Forgive me,” or even better…“I forgive you.”
If you had to ration your words more carefully would you sugar-coat them with so much deceptive sweetness they’d lose their flavor? Or would you line them with razor–sharp daggers as they fly off your tongue toward your intended target, hurting as they fall on bruised ears. If you only had 1,000 words left in your life would you right wrongs? Would you leave a legacy by saying something to inspire others? Would your final words be kind? Would they be gentle?
Would your words lift someone’s spirit and brighten their day? Would you ration enough words to compliment a stranger? Would you spare a few words to pray with your children? Would you use your final words to express yourself: in your relationship, at work, with your family, or to confess a lie you’ve kept bottled up inside a long time?
Because, when we’re not driven by our ego’s negative emotions we are capable of choosing our words carefully and with more meaning. In contrast, when angry, our words can, and often will, do irreparable damage. Yes, lashing out in a fit of temper are the words we (should) wish we could take back. But we can’t. Ever…making some words not meant to be spoken.
Friends, word can hurt, or words can heal. Words can discourage, or words can encourage. Words can show favoritism, or words can shower praise. Words can incite wars, or words can elicit peace. Words have the power to bring nations to their knees, or lift up our prayers to the heavens.
The only question now is; what words are you going to choose next? Will they be harsh, angry, lying, or manipulative? Or will the words you choose be kind, gentle, loving and considerate?
I just want to leave you with this final thought. It is also said to “enjoy life by living each day as if it were your last.” None of us know when that will be but we should speak each word as if it might be our last; choosing our words carefully and with kindness. Now, what are you going to say…and to whom?
Can you imagine…using your words more kindly?
Everything
Column # 286, Published 3-29-12
Could you describe the stripes on a zebra or a Carolina blue sky to someone who has never had the gift of sight? Could you describe the strum of a guitar or the sound of a small child’s laughter to someone who has never had the gift of hearing?
Sadly, for those of us who can see and hear, walk and talk we unfortunately take life for granted. Rushing through our daily routine; caught up in an endless cycle of getting ‘everything’ done. Unequivocally, ‘everything’ is a lot to squeeze into our day, yet we take it for granted that ‘everything’ is always going to be there. Be it, getting the kids ready for school…getting ourselves ready for work…getting home for dinner…getting the house cleaned, our hair done, the grass mowed, the dry cleaning picked up, the oil changed, or groceries bought. The list of ‘everything’ is seemingly endless.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that we take life for granted, we neglect to notice the first daffodils of spring or hear cardinals singing outside our window; because these things are expected to be there. Yet, as does the ‘everythings’ in our life, they just fall by the wayside becoming no more than white noise in the background of our busy day…just the stuff of life.
Sadly, we take our health, our finances and our social network of family and friends for granted. And assuming each day will be much like the day before, we take each new day for granted.
Yet, how unfortunate is it when we take each other for granted. Believing our friends and loved ones are always going to be there when needed. The boss is always going to be at work. Our neighbor is always going to be taking out their trash. Our family is always going to visit over the holidays. Our childhood friend is always going to put pictures on their Facebook page. Well, friends…not always.
So starting now, while we still have breath to breathe and while those we love or associate with are still with us we need to stop taking ourselves and them for granted. It goes without saying, but I’m saying it anyway...being kind to yourself will beget being kind to others. And treating others with kindness is the first step in showing them how much you appreciate them.
Daily, we should be grateful for our health; no matter what state it is in. Consider the alternative. We should be thankful for our family; no matter what state those relationships are in; who knows when they won’t be here to appreciate. Reminding ourselves each day that all is well, and as it should be.
My wish for all of you is to start appreciating yourself first, then the small things, as much as you should everyone and everything else in your life. We should always feel blessed to rise each day and lay our head down to sleep at night; because between morning and night we find our ‘everythings’ of life. And we should never ‘everythings’ for granted.
Can you imagine…appreciating the ‘everythings’ of your life?
&
nbsp; The Voice
Column #305, Published 11-8-12
There is a Voice. A Voice heard throughout the ages; a timeless Voice forever eternal. It’s a strong Voice yet loving, a commanding yet forgiving Voice. It’s a Voice that loves unconditionally…a Voice full of patience and kindness...a Voice that would never abandon…a Voice of triumph.
It’s the Voice of wisdom; the Voice of morals and values, the Voice of ideals and tenets. It’s the Voice of hope, faith and compassion. It’s the Voice that will always and forever be. It is a presence. When the Voice is with you, you feel loved.
Yet, this Voice is being silenced by the amplified cries of those who feel their voice is louder, more eminent. Why do they want to quiet the Voice? Why would they want to turn others against the Voice? Misguided? Disillusioned? Or maybe it’s because they cannot hear the Voice themselves. Whatever the reason, they share a common cause…stifle the Voice.
Then a baby is born…and the Voice speaks. A tear is brushed from a child’s cheek…and the Voice speaks. A patient is cured…and the Voice speaks. A family is rescued from a burning home…and the Voice speaks. A community comes together after a