CHAPTER SIXTH.
The rude hall rocks--they come, they come,-- The din of voices shakes the dome;-- In stalk the various forms, and, drest In varying morion, varying vest, All march with haughty step--all proudly shake the crest. Penrose.
If Sir Hildebrand Osbaldistone was in no hurry to greet his nephew, ofwhose arrival he must have been informed for some time, he had importantavocations to allege in excuse. "Had seen thee sooner, lad," heexclaimed, after a rough shake of the hand, and a hearty welcome toOsbaldistone Hall, "but had to see the hounds kennelled first. Thou artwelcome to the Hall, lad--here is thy cousin Percie, thy cousin Thornie,and thy cousin John--your cousin Dick, your cousin Wilfred, and--stay,where's Rashleigh?--ay, here's Rashleigh--take thy long body asideThornie, and let's see thy brother a bit--your cousin Rashleigh. So, thyfather has thought on the old Hall, and old Sir Hildebrand atlast--better late than never--Thou art welcome, lad, and there's enough.Where's my little Die?--ay, here she comes--this is my niece Die, mywife's brother's daughter--the prettiest girl in our dales, be the otherwho she may--and so now let's to the sirloin."--
To gain some idea of the person who held this language, you must suppose,my dear Tresham, a man aged about sixty, in a hunting suit which had oncebeen richly laced, but whose splendour had been tarnished by many aNovember and December storm. Sir Hildebrand, notwithstanding theabruptness of his present manner, had, at one period of his life, knowncourts and camps; had held a commission in the army which encamped onHounslow Heath previous to the Revolution--and, recommended perhaps byhis religion, had been knighted about the same period by the unfortunateand ill-advised James II. But the Knight's dreams of further preferment,if he ever entertained any, had died away at the crisis which drove hispatron from the throne, and since that period he had spent a sequesteredlife upon his native domains. Notwithstanding his rusticity, however, SirHildebrand retained much of the exterior of a gentleman, and appearedamong his sons as the remains of a Corinthian pillar, defaced andovergrown with moss and lichen, might have looked, if contrasted with therough unhewn masses of upright stones in Stonhenge, or any otherDruidical temple. The sons were, indeed, heavy unadorned blocks as theeye would desire to look upon. Tall, stout, and comely, all and each ofthe five eldest seemed to want alike the Promethean fire of intellect,and the exterior grace and manner, which, in the polished world,sometimes supply mental deficiency. Their most valuable moral qualityseemed to be the good-humour and content which was expressed in theirheavy features, and their only pretence to accomplishment was theirdexterity in field sports, for which alone they lived. The strong Gyas,and the strong Cloanthus, are not less distinguished by the poet, thanthe strong Percival, the strong Thorncliff, the strong John, Richard, andWilfred Osbaldistones, were by outward appearance.
But, as if to indemnify herself for a uniformity so uncommon in herproductions, Dame Nature had rendered Rashleigh Osbaldistone a strikingcontrast in person and manner, and, as I afterwards learned, in temperand talents, not only to his brothers, but to most men whom I hadhitherto met with. When Percie, Thornie, and Co. had respectively nodded,grinned, and presented their shoulder rather than their hand, as theirfather named them to their new kinsman, Rashleigh stepped forward, andwelcomed me to Osbaldistone Hall, with the air and manner of a man of theworld. His appearance was not in itself prepossessing. He was of lowstature, whereas all his brethren seemed to be descendants of Anak; andwhile they were handsomely formed, Rashleigh, though strong in person,was bull-necked and cross-made, and from some early injury in his youthhad an imperfection in his gait, so much resembling an absolute halt,that many alleged that it formed the obstacle to his taking orders; theChurch of Rome, as is well known, admitting none to the clericalprofession who labours under any personal deformity. Others, however,ascribed this unsightly defect to a mere awkward habit, and contendedthat it did not amount to a personal disqualification from holy orders.
The features of Rashleigh were such, as, having looked upon, we in vainwish to banish from our memory, to which they recur as objects of painfulcuriosity, although we dwell upon them with a feeling of dislike, andeven of disgust. It was not the actual plainness of his face, takenseparately from the meaning, which made this strong impression. Hisfeatures were, indeed, irregular, but they were by no means vulgar; andhis keen dark eyes, and shaggy eyebrows, redeemed his face from thecharge of commonplace ugliness. But there was in these eyes an expressionof art and design, and, on provocation, a ferocity tempered by caution,which nature had made obvious to the most ordinary physiognomist, perhapswith the same intention that she has given the rattle to the poisonoussnake. As if to compensate him for these disadvantages of exterior,Rashleigh Osbaldistone was possessed of a voice the most soft, mellow,and rich in its tones that I ever heard, and was at no loss for languageof every sort suited to so fine an organ. His first sentence of welcomewas hardly ended, ere I internally agreed with Miss Vernon, that my newkinsman would make an instant conquest of a mistress whose ears alonewere to judge his cause. He was about to place himself beside me atdinner, but Miss Vernon, who, as the only female in the family, arrangedall such matters according to her own pleasure, contrived that I shouldsit betwixt Thorncliff and herself; and it can scarce be doubted that Ifavoured this more advantageous arrangement.
"I want to speak with you," she said, "and I have placed honest Thorniebetwixt Rashleigh and you on purpose. He will be like--
Feather-bed 'twixt castle wall And heavy brunt of cannon ball,
while I, your earliest acquaintance in this intellectual family, ask ofyou how you like us all?"
"A very comprehensive question, Miss Vernon, considering how short whileI have been at Osbaldistone Hall."
"Oh, the philosophy of our family lies on the surface--there are minuteshades distinguishing the individuals, which require the eye of anintelligent observer; but the species, as naturalists I believe call it,may be distinguished and characterized at once."
"My five elder cousins, then, are I presume of pretty nearly the samecharacter."
"Yes, they form a happy compound of sot, gamekeeper, bully, horse-jockey,and fool; but as they say there cannot be found two leaves on the sametree exactly alike, so these happy ingredients, being mingled in somewhatvarious proportions in each individual, make an agreeable variety forthose who like to study character."
"Give me a sketch, if you please, Miss Vernon."
"You shall have them all in a family-piece, at full length--the favour istoo easily granted to be refused. Percie, the son and heir, has more ofthe sot than of the gamekeeper, bully, horse-jockey, or fool--My preciousThornie is more of the bully than the sot, gamekeeper, jockey, orfool--John, who sleeps whole weeks amongst the hills, has most of thegamekeeper--The jockey is powerful with Dickon, who rides two hundredmiles by day and night to be bought and sold at a horse-race--And thefool predominates so much over Wilfred's other qualities, that he may betermed a fool positive."
"A goodly collection, Miss Vernon, and the individual varieties belong toa most interesting species. But is there no room on the canvas for SirHildebrand?"
"I love my uncle," was her reply: "I owe him some kindness (such it wasmeant for at least), and I will leave you to draw his picture yourself,when you know him better."
"Come," thought I to myself, "I am glad there is some forbearance. Afterall, who would have looked for such bitter satire from a creature soyoung, and so exquisitely beautiful?"
"You are thinking of me," she said, bending her dark eyes on me, as ifshe meant to pierce through my very soul.
"I certainly was," I replied, with some embarrassment at the determinedsuddenness of the question, and then, endeavouring to give acomplimentary turn to my frank avowal--"How is it possible I should thinkof anything else, seated as I have the happiness to be?"
She smiled with such an expression of concentrated haughtiness
as shealone could have thrown into her countenance. "I must inform you at once,Mr. Osbaldistone, that compliments are entirely lost upon me; do not,therefore, throw away your pretty sayings--they serve fine gentlemen whotravel in the country, instead of the toys, beads, and bracelets, whichnavigators carry to propitiate the savage inhabitants of newly-discoveredlands. Do not exhaust your stock in trade;--you will find natives inNorthumberland to whom your fine things will recommend you--on me theywould be utterly thrown away, for I happen to know their real value."
I was silenced and confounded.
"You remind me at this moment," said the young lady, resuming her livelyand indifferent manner, "of the fairy tale, where the man finds all themoney which he had carried to market suddenly changed into pieces ofslate. I have cried down and ruined your whole stock of complimentarydiscourse by one unlucky observation. But come, never mind it--You arebelied, Mr. Osbaldistone, unless you have much better conversation thanthese _fadeurs,_ which every gentleman with a toupet thinks himselfobliged to recite to an unfortunate girl, merely because she is dressedin silk and gauze, while he wears superfine cloth with embroidery. Yournatural paces, as any of my five cousins might say, are far preferable toyour complimentary amble. Endeavour to forget my unlucky sex; call me TomVernon, if you have a mind, but speak to me as you would to a friend andcompanion; you have no idea how much I shall like you."
"That would be a bribe indeed," returned I.
"Again!" replied Miss Vernon, holding up her finger; "I told you I wouldnot bear the shadow of a compliment. And now, when you have pledged myuncle, who threatens you with what he calls a brimmer, I will tell youwhat you think of me."
The bumper being pledged by me, as a dutiful nephew, and some othergeneral intercourse of the table having taken place, the continued andbusiness-like clang of knives and forks, and the devotion of cousinThorncliff on my right hand, and cousin Dickon, who sate on Miss Vernon'sleft, to the huge quantities of meat with which they heaped their plates,made them serve as two occasional partitions, separating us from the restof the company, and leaving us to our _tete-a-tete._ "And now," saidI, "give me leave to ask you frankly, Miss Vernon, what you suppose I amthinking of you!--I could tell you what I really _do_ think, but you haveinterdicted praise."
"I do not want your assistance. I am conjuror enough to tell yourthoughts without it. You need not open the casement of your bosom; I seethrough it. You think me a strange bold girl, half coquette, half romp;desirous of attracting attention by the freedom of her manners andloudness of her conversation, because she is ignorant of what theSpectator calls the softer graces of the sex; and perhaps you think Ihave some particular plan of storming you into admiration. I should besorry to shock your self-opinion, but you were never more mistaken. Allthe confidence I have reposed in you, I would have given as readily toyour father, if I thought he could have understood me. I am in this happyfamily as much secluded from intelligent listeners as Sancho in theSierra Morena, and when opportunity offers, I must speak or die. I assureyou I would not have told you a word of all this curious intelligence,had I cared a pin who knew it or knew it not."
"It is very cruel in you, Miss Vernon, to take away all particular marksof favour from your communications, but I must receive them on your ownterms.--You have not included Mr. Rashleigh Osbaldistone in your domesticsketches."
She shrunk, I thought, at this remark, and hastily answered, in a muchlower tone, "Not a word of Rashleigh! His ears are so acute when hisselfishness is interested, that the sounds would reach him even throughthe mass of Thorncliff's person, stuffed as it is with beef,venison-pasty, and pudding."
"Yes," I replied; "but peeping past the living screen which divides us,before I put the question, I perceived that Mr. Rashleigh's chair wasempty--he has left the table."
"I would not have you be too sure of that," Miss Vernon replied. "Take myadvice, and when you speak of Rashleigh, get up to the top ofOtterscope-hill, where you can see for twenty miles round you in everydirection--stand on the very peak, and speak in whispers; and, after all,don't be too sure that the bird of the air will not carry the matter,Rashleigh has been my tutor for four years; we are mutually tired of eachother, and we shall heartily rejoice at our approaching separation."
"Mr. Rashleigh leaves Osbaldistone Hall, then?"
"Yes, in a few days;--did you not know that?--your father must keep hisresolutions much more secret than Sir Hildebrand. Why, when my uncle wasinformed that you were to be his guest for some time, and that yourfather desired to have one of his hopeful sons to fill up the lucrativesituation in his counting-house which was vacant by your obstinacy, Mr.Francis, the good knight held a _cour ple'nie're_ of all his family,including the butler, housekeeper, and gamekeeper. This reverend assemblyof the peers and household officers of Osbaldistone Hall was notconvoked, as you may suppose, to elect your substitute, because, asRashleigh alone possessed more arithmetic than was necessary to calculatethe odds on a fighting cock, none but he could be supposed qualified forthe situation. But some solemn sanction was necessary for transformingRashleigh's destination from starving as a Catholic priest to thriving asa wealthy banker; and it was not without some reluctance that theacquiescence of the assembly was obtained to such an act of degradation."
"I can conceive the scruples--but how were they got over?"
"By the general wish, I believe, to get Rashleigh out of the house,"replied Miss Vernon. "Although youngest of the family, he has somehow orother got the entire management of all the others; and every one issensible of the subjection, though they cannot shake it off. If any oneopposes him, he is sure to rue having done so before the year goes about;and if you do him a very important service, you may rue it still more."
"At that rate," answered I, smiling, "I should look about me; for I havebeen the cause, however unintentionally, of his change of situation."
"Yes; and whether he regards it as an advantage or disadvantage, he willowe you a grudge for it--But here comes cheese, radishes, and a bumper tochurch and king, the hint for chaplains and ladies to disappear; and I,the sole representative of womanhood at Osbaldistone Hall, retreat, as induty bound."
She vanished as she spoke, leaving me in astonishment at the mingledcharacter of shrewdness, audacity, and frankness, which her conversationdisplayed. I despair conveying to you the least idea of her manner,although I have, as nearly as I can remember, imitated her language. Infact, there was a mixture of untaught simplicity, as well as nativeshrewdness and haughty boldness, in her manner, and all were modified andrecommended by the play of the most beautiful features I had ever beheld.It is not to be thought that, however strange and uncommon I might thinkher liberal and unreserved communications, a young man of two-and-twentywas likely to be severely critical on a beautiful girl of eighteen, fornot observing a proper distance towards him. On the contrary, I wasequally diverted and flattered by Miss Vernon's confidence, and thatnotwithstanding her declaration of its being conferred on me solelybecause I was the first auditor who occurred, of intelligence enough tocomprehend it. With the presumption of my age, certainly not diminishedby my residence in France, I imagined that well-formed features, and ahandsome person, both which I conceived myself to possess, were notunsuitable qualifications for the confidant of a young beauty. My vanitythus enlisted in Miss Vernon's behalf, I was far from judging her withseverity, merely for a frankness which I supposed was in some degreejustified by my own personal merit; and the feelings of partiality, whichher beauty, and the singularity of her situation, were of themselvescalculated to excite, were enhanced by my opinion of her penetration andjudgment in her choice of a friend.
After Miss Vernon quitted the apartment, the bottle circulated, or ratherflew, around the table in unceasing revolution. My foreign education hadgiven me a distaste to intemperance, then and yet too common a vice amongmy countrymen. The conversation which seasoned such orgies was as littleto my taste, and if anything could render it more disgusting, it was therelationship of the company. I therefore seized a
lucky opportunity, andmade my escape through a side door, leading I knew not whither, ratherthan endure any longer the sight of father and sons practising the samedegrading intemperance, and holding the same coarse and disgustingconversation. I was pursued, of course, as I had expected, to bereclaimed by force, as a deserter from the shrine of Bacchus. When Iheard the whoop and hollo, and the tramp of the heavy boots of mypursuers on the winding stair which I was descending, I plainly foresaw Ishould be overtaken unless I could get into the open air. I thereforethrew open a casement in the staircase, which looked into anold-fashioned garden, and as the height did not exceed six feet, I jumpedout without hesitation, and soon heard far behind the "hey whoop! stoleaway! stole away!" of my baffled pursuers. I ran down one alley, walkedfast up another; and then, conceiving myself out of all danger ofpursuit, I slackened my pace into a quiet stroll, enjoying the cool airwhich the heat of the wine I had been obliged to swallow, as well as thatof my rapid retreat, rendered doubly grateful.
As I sauntered on, I found the gardener hard at his evening employment,and saluted him, as I paused to look at his work.
"Good even, my friend."
"Gude e'en--gude e'en t'ye," answered the man, without looking up, and ina tone which at once indicated his northern extraction.
"Fine weather for your work, my friend."
"It's no that muckle to be compleened o'," answered the man, with thatlimited degree of praise which gardeners and farmers usually bestow onthe very best weather. Then raising his head, as if to see who spoke tohim, he touched his Scotch bonnet with an air of respect, as he observed,"Eh, gude safe us!--it's a sight for sair een, to see a gold-lacedjeistiecor in the Ha'garden sae late at e'en."
"A gold-laced what, my good friend?"
"Ou, a jeistiecor*--that's a jacket like your ain, there. They
* Perhaps from the French _Juste-au-corps._
hae other things to do wi' them up yonder--unbuttoning them to make roomfor the beef and the bag-puddings, and the claret-wine, nae doubt--that'sthe ordinary for evening lecture on this side the border."
"There's no such plenty of good cheer in your country, my good friend," Ireplied, "as to tempt you to sit so late at it."
"Hout, sir, ye ken little about Scotland; it's no for want of gudevivers--the best of fish, flesh, and fowl hae we, by sybos, ingans,turneeps, and other garden fruit. But we hae mense and discretion, andare moderate of our mouths;--but here, frae the kitchen to the ha', it'sfill and fetch mair, frae the tae end of the four-and-twenty till thetother. Even their fast days--they ca' it fasting when they hae the besto' sea-fish frae Hartlepool and Sunderland by land carriage, forbyetrouts, grilses, salmon, and a' the lave o't, and so they make their veryfasting a kind of luxury and abomination; and then the awfu' masses andmatins of the puir deceived souls--But I shouldna speak about them, foryour honour will be a Roman, I'se warrant, like the lave."
"Not I, my friend; I was bred an English presbyterian, or dissenter."
"The right hand of fellowship to your honour, then," quoth the gardener,with as much alacrity as his hard features were capable of expressing,and, as if to show that his good-will did not rest on words, he pluckedforth a huge horn snuff-box, or mull, as he called it, and proffered apinch with a most fraternal grin.
Having accepted his courtesy, I asked him if he had been long a domesticat Osbaldistone Hall.
"I have been fighting with wild beasts at Ephesus," said he, lookingtowards the building, "for the best part of these four-and-twenty years,as sure as my name's Andrew Fairservice."
"But, my excellent friend, Andrew Fairservice, if your religion and yourtemperance are so much offended by Roman rituals and southernhospitality, it seems to me that you must have been putting yourself toan unnecessary penance all this while, and that you might have found aservice where they eat less, and are more orthodox in their worship. Idare say it cannot be want of skill which prevented your being placedmore to your satisfaction."
"It disna become me to speak to the point of my qualifications," saidAndrew, looking round him with great complacency; "but nae doubt I shouldunderstand my trade of horticulture, seeing I was bred in the parish ofDreepdaily, where they raise lang-kale under glass, and force the earlynettles for their spring kale. And, to speak truth, I hae been flittingevery term these four-and-twenty years; but when the time comes, there'saye something to saw that I would like to see sawn,--or something to mawthat I would like to see mawn,--or something to ripe that I would like tosee ripen,--and sae I e'en daiker on wi' the family frae year's end toyear's end. And I wad say for certain, that I am gaun to quit atCannlemas, only I was just as positive on it twenty years syne, and Ifind mysell still turning up the mouls here, for a' that. Forbye that, totell your honour the evendown truth, there's nae better place everoffered to Andrew. But if your honour wad wush me to ony place where Iwad hear pure doctrine, and hae a free cow's grass, and a cot, and ayard, and mair than ten punds of annual fee, and where there's nae leddyabout the town to count the apples, I'se hold mysell muckle indebtedt'ye."
"Bravo, Andrew! I perceive you'll lose no preferment for want of askingpatronage."
"I canna see what for I should," replied Andrew; "it's no a generation towait till ane's worth's discovered, I trow."
"But you are no friend, I observe, to the ladies."
"Na, by my troth, I keep up the first gardener's quarrel to them. They'refasheous bargains--aye crying for apricocks, pears, plums, and apples,summer and winter, without distinction o' seasons; but we hae nae sliceso' the spare rib here, be praised for't! except auld Martha, and she'sweel eneugh pleased wi' the freedom o' the berry-bushes to her sister'sweans, when they come to drink tea in a holiday in the housekeeper'sroom, and wi' a wheen codlings now and then for her ain private supper."
"You forget your young mistress."
"What mistress do I forget?--whae's that?"
"Your young mistress, Miss Vernon."
"What! the lassie Vernon?--She's nae mistress o' mine, man. I wish shewas her ain mistress; and I wish she mayna be some other body's mistressor it's lang--She's a wild slip that."
"Indeed!" said I, more interested than I cared to own to myself, or toshow to the fellow--"why, Andrew, you know all the secrets of thisfamily."
"If I ken them, I can keep them," said Andrew; "they winna work in mywame like harm in a barrel, I'se warrant ye. Miss Die is--but it'sneither beef nor brose o' mine."
And he began to dig with a great semblance of assiduity.
"What is Miss Vernon, Andrew? I am a friend of the family, and shouldlike to know."
"Other than a gude ane, I'm fearing," said Andrew, closing one eye hard,and shaking his head with a grave and mysterious look--"somethingglee'd--your honour understands me?"
"I cannot say I do," said I, "Andrew; but I should like to hear youexplain yourself;" and therewithal I slipped a crown-piece into Andrew'shorn-hard hand. The touch of the silver made him grin a ghastly smile, ashe nodded slowly, and thrust it into his breeches pocket; and then, likea man who well understood that there was value to be returned, stood up,and rested his arms on his spade, with his features composed into themost important gravity, as for some serious communication.
"Ye maun ken, then, young gentleman, since it imports you to know, thatMiss Vernon is"--
Here breaking off, he sucked in both his cheeks, till his lantern jawsand long chin assumed the appearance of a pair of nut-crackers; winkedhard once more, frowned, shook his head, and seemed to think hisphysiognomy had completed the information which his tongue had not fullytold.
"Good God!" said I--"so young, so beautiful, so early lost!"
"Troth ye may say sae--she's in a manner lost, body and saul; forby beinga Papist, I'se uphaud her for"--and his northern caution prevailed, andhe was again silent.
"For what, sir?" said I sternly. "I insist on knowing the plain meaningof all this."
"On, just for the bitterest Jacobite in the haill shire."
"Pshaw! a Jacobite?--is that all?"
br /> Andrew looked at me with some astonishment, at hearing his informationtreated so lightly; and then muttering, "Aweel, it's the warst thing Iken aboot the lassie, howsoe'er," he resumed his spade, like the king ofthe Vandals, in Marmontel's late novel.