He looked at her a moment, as if about to speak. Then he stood abruptly and turned away. Gripping the pommel of his saddle, he leaned his head against his horse’s neck.
She hugged her legs to her chest, making sure her skirt covered her feet. She laid her cheek against her knees, tired from all her crying, and marveled at the cool, self-possessed Lord Hamlin leaning against his horse as though for support. How could the two men even be brothers? She couldn’t imagine Lord Rupert ever feeling so deeply sorry for anything. Would he ask forgiveness for arrogance? Would he care about a maiden’s wounded sensibilities? Would he cry over a brother’s lack of virtue?
It seemed so clear now. Lord Rupert was a self-seeking lout. He would have broken her heart a million times had he actually been man enough to give up prestige and power to marry her. With Lord Rupert as a husband, how many nights would she have cried herself to sleep? She had been caught up in the attention he showed her. She had to admit, it had made her feel good. He was handsome and he was desirable, in a worldly sort of way. And she had allowed herself to trust him. She’d even let him kiss her. Her stomach roiled at the remembrance.
What a fool I am.
But then, he had fooled Lord Hamlin too. But she was the biggest fool. She hadn’t listened to Frau Geruscha, hadn’t even listened to her own doubts.
The sun’s light quickly faded, leaving them with only a slight glow in the sky. The tiny crescent moon wouldn’t be much help, especially with clouds rolling in. Rose remembered hearing howls as a child, lying in bed at night in her father’s cottage. She shuddered, imagining the wolves and bears emerging from their dens now, as night fell, to roam the forest.
Of course, she was safe with Lord Hamlin near. She glanced at the sword that hung from his belt.
She should get up and go back to town, before curfew began and they locked the city gates. Even now it might be too late to make it back. Lord Hamlin would have no problem convincing the guard to let him in, if indeed the gates were locked when they returned. But if she allowed him to walk her back and accompany her into the city after dark, people were sure to hear of it. What little of her reputation was still intact would be shredded before noon prayers.
What was it Lord Hamlin had said about her being virtuous and emanating God’s love? She’d have to remember that when people were whispering that the brothers were sharing their trollop.
Determined to hurry home alone, Rose stood. Her head throbbed, as though all the blood in her body was pulsing through her brain, no doubt the product of all her crying. She’d missed supper too, after only eating a piece of bread for her midday meal. She’d been too excited about Lord Rupert’s proposal to eat.
Some proposal.
She stood still, her eyes closed, waiting to see if the top of her head would shoot into the sky. When the pain subsided a little, she opened her eyes and found Lord Hamlin turning to look at her.
Blinking and ignoring the pain, she said, “Excuse me, Lord Hamlin, but I must get back before curfew.”
“I’ll take you back.”
“I mean no offense, but I don’t want to be seen sneaking in the city gate after dark with you. If indeed I still have a reputation, it would certainly be ruined.”
He shook his head. “You won’t make curfew anyway on foot.”
“I might if I hurry.” Rose raised her brows, hoping he would get the hint and end their conversation, which was costing her precious seconds.
The cathedral bells started to ring, announcing curfew. Her breath hissed out. She was too late. Yet again, tears sprang to her eyes, frustrating her further, and she crossed her arms. “Then I’ll spend the night at my father’s house in the forest. It isn’t far from here.”
He shook his head. “When was the last time you were there? Wild animals may have begun to sleep there. It isn’t safe.”
Rose hated his confident, firm tone. “I’ll find a tree limb to bar the door.”
“You can’t, Rose.” His voice softened, which only made the tears spill over. She stood with her arms still folded, knowing that if she reached up to wipe away the betraying drops he would know she was crying again. She wished he would look away, but he continued to watch her. She held her breath, trying to hold back the tears, but more spilled out and dripped to the ground.
Lord Hamlin took Shadow’s reins and walked toward her. He pulled something from his pocket and held it out to her.
Rose took the handkerchief without looking up and wiped her face. O God, haven’t I been humiliated enough for one day?
He took off his long black cloak. He wrapped the garment around her shoulders, pulling it down around her neck.
She instantly felt warmer—and relieved that her exposed shoulder was covered.
Lord Hamlin’s masculine scent of leather and horses enveloped her along with the cloak. His nearness made her skin tingle. She longed to lay her head against his chest. If she only leaned toward him he might put his arms around her.
No, it was a selfish, imprudent thought. But at least it seemed to make the tears dry up.
She gazed up into Lord Hamlin’s shadowed countenance. His dark eyes were beautiful and mysterious. What was he thinking, standing so close to her for so long? Finally, he spoke.
“I’ll put you on Shadow so you won’t have to walk.”
“I don’t think you should.”
“Why not?”
Didn’t he understand? “I don’t want to be seen riding your horse through the town gate after curfew.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
Rose looked at him doubtfully, trying to think of a clever, sarcastic reply.
“I have an alternate way of getting into the castle.”
“Oh.” Rose let this information sink in. Whatever this “alternate way” was, it had to be less public than the town gate. “Thank you, but I don’t mind walking.”
“I insist.”
Rose only stared at him, trying to make out his expression in the dark.
“There’s no reason both of us should walk. Come.” He bent over, clasped his hands, and waited for her to place her foot in his makeshift stirrup.
“But you don’t have a sidesaddle.”
“It’s dark. No one will see you. Merely throw your leg over.”
“I can’t do that.” Rose was horrified at the thought. “Perhaps I can sit sideways and hook my right leg around the pommel.”
“All right.” He still stood patiently holding out his hands, reminding Rose of her first riding lesson with Lord Rupert—that deceiver. Rose had no trouble pushing his memory away with Lord Hamlin so near.
She placed her foot in his hand, praying she wouldn’t fall. She grabbed the pommel and he boosted her up neatly into the saddle. Rose wrapped her leg, modestly covered by her skirt, around the pommel.
“Ready?”
“Yes, thank you.”
She held on as he took the reins and led Shadow through the darkness and down the hill. She thought about all the things she would like to say to him. Thank you for wanting to defend me. Thank you for thinking Rupert is a rogue. Thank you for being a man of integrity. Oh, Lord Hamlin, if you were mine, I’d make you so happy.
Rose stifled a laugh at the stupid, outrageous thought.
As he led Shadow down the hill and into the quiet darkness of the trees between them and the castle, Wilhelm told himself to keep an eye out for wolves, but his mind was completely wrapped up in the maiden who so often made his heart ache. He smiled at how she had proposed to sleep in her father’s empty house to keep from being seen with him. She didn’t deserve the whispered judgments of the townspeople, who would have seen and heard of Lord Rupert’s public attentions to her, and would soon notice the sudden cessation of those attentions, drawing the obvious conclusion—that he had used her and then cast her aside. His chest burned at the injustice of such a thing.
Bushes snatched at his legs as the vegetation thickened. He ignored them, glancing up at Rose. Her head and shoulders
drooped. She must be tired. He had not asked her how her dress had gotten torn. While she’d claimed it was her doing, Rupert no doubt was at fault there as well. Anger bubbled up inside him so strong that he clenched his fist and silently promised his brother that he would pay for his boorish behavior.
They emerged from the trees into the meadow next to the castle. He ventured another quick look at Rose. He admired her spirit and intelligence, her compassion and character, but God help him, he also found her beautiful. When he’d seen the hurt on her face and her torn dress, then found out what Rupert had said to her, it almost ripped out his heart. He had assured himself that Rose and Rupert would marry, that all her needs would be taken care of, that she would have the protection of the Gerstenberg name. Now that wasn’t possible. Who would marry her and take care of her?
O God, let it be me.
His chest ached with the fervor of his desire—and his impossible request.
Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. The word haunted his mind.
For with God nothing shall be impossible.
The Bible verse entered his thoughts, as though whispered to his spirit.
Don’t taunt me, God. You know I want to do the right thing. What do you mean, nothing is impossible?
A slight breeze brushed his cheek and sifted through his hair, as though God’s Spirit was brushing by him. He listened carefully, straining his ears, but no other words came to him.
They were close enough now to the castle wall that Wilhelm saw it looming in front of them in the moonlight. He led Shadow to the right, toward a small stand of trees that grew to within fifty feet of the city wall.
“I don’t mean to be impertinent,” Rose said, “but where are we going?”
“I’m going to show you something you must never reveal to another soul—not even Frau Geruscha, and especially not Hildy.”
“Of course.” A moment of silence passed. “Is it a secret entrance to the castle?”
The note of excitement in her voice made him smile. “Yes.” They plunged into the trees nearest the wall. He frowned and muttered, “An ill-conceived secret entrance, begun by my irresponsible brother, allowed by my overindulgent father.”
Wilhelm found the tree he was looking for, stood with his back against it, and took two paces forward. He bent to the ground, lifted a dead tree limb, and tossed it to the side. Then he felt around until he found the handle. He pulled it up, got his shoulder underneath the enormous wooden door, and flipped it all the way open.
“A tunnel?”
Rose had dismounted and was bending down to look into the gaping hole.
“Yes. Stay here for a moment.” He jumped down into the hole and set up the wooden ramp that lay nearby, ready for service. Next he felt along the wall for the torch. The pair of flints that were supposed to be in the sconce alongside the torch were missing. Wilhelm winced and walked back up the ramp.
“No torch. But Shadow and I have gone through it in the dark before.”
A band of moonlight filtered between the leaves overhead and shone on Rose’s face, allowing him to see her look of apprehension.
“Or we can go around to the town gate and get the guard to let us in. Whatever you decide.” He half-expected her to be outraged at his suggestion that she walk through the pitch-black tunnel, but apparently she was considering it.
“Are you afraid to walk through the tunnel?” she asked.
“No. I don’t think any animals of significant size could have gotten inside.”
“You don’t think? Does that mean you’re not sure?”
“I’m reasonably sure. But we can always go through the main gate.”
“No, no, I can do this.”
He grabbed Shadow’s reins. “Wait here until I get Shadow in.” He led the horse down the shallow ramp into the tunnel. Inside, the tunnel was only a little wider than the opening and just tall enough for a large horse. Shadow whinnied and snuffled his dislike of the earthen passageway as his hooves clomped on the wooden ramp.
“All right, boy, it’s all right.” He tried to make his voice soothing and low as he patted the horse’s jaw.
He turned and looked over his shoulder. Rose started gingerly down the ramp.
“What do I do? Is there anything in here I might stumble over, any twists and turns I should know about?”
“There’s a fork at which we’ll have to go to the left.” He turned his head. “But don’t worry. It will help you keep your bearings if you put one hand on Shadow and your other hand on the wall as you walk.”
He could only see her outline against the trees outside. With his big cloak draped around her shoulders, she looked small next to Shadow.
“I have to close the door.” The tunnel was barely wide enough for two people, or one person and a horse. Wilhelm started to squeeze by her, and Rose moved back to let him pass, keeping one hand on Shadow’s rump. His arm lightly brushed her shoulder when he passed. His heart skipped.
He climbed up the ramp and closed the trap door, blotting out what little light they had.
“Lord Hamlin?” came her voice in the dark.
“Yes?” Their arms brushed again.
“Can you keep talking?”
“Don’t worry, I’m just ahead of you. Put your hand on the wall. Do you feel it?”
“Yes.”
“We’re starting to move.”
He tugged lightly on Shadow’s reins and the horse started forward.
Chapter 21
Blackness consumed her. Rose had never before experienced darkness so complete that she couldn’t see her hand in front of her face. Mold and wet dirt invaded her nostrils, and she scrunched her face at the unpleasant odor. She kept one hand on the dirt wall and the other on Shadow’s back, as Lord Hamlin instructed, willing her legs not to tremble. She didn’t want to transfer her nervousness to the horse.
“Are you all right back there?”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever had so much fun.”
“Who says I don’t know how to have a good time?”
Rose imagined him smiling, his dark eyes sparkling in amusement. How she cherished the memory of the way he had looked at her earlier this evening, his features soft and his voice warm and kind.
Why, God? Why couldn’t you have given me Lord Hamlin?
Never mind. Don’t answer that.
A tiny drop of something cold plopped on top of Rose’s head. O Lord, let this tunnel not collapse on us.
Just then, something cool and smooth slid across the top of her foot. Rose screamed. She covered her mouth, too late to stifle it.
“What is it?” Wilhelm said in the darkness ahead.
Shadow snorted and drummed his hooves on the dirt floor.
“Something slithered across my foot!” Rose shivered violently, afraid to move. She tried to find Shadow again with her hand, groping forward in the darkness, but grasped only air. She was alone in a dark hole. Her insides were a boiling mush.
“Probably a harmless garden snake. Stay there for a moment to give it time to get away.” After a slight pause he said, “Reach out your hand to me.”
Rose reached out and touched his fingers. He immediately covered her hand in a firm grasp. His warm fingers entwined with hers and made her heart beat erratically. The snake had nearly scared her to death, but his touch and his presence overwhelmed her with comfort and safety. The darkness gave her a feeling of intimacy with him. They could hold each other’s hand and no one could see. She liked it—so very much.
She shouldn’t allow herself the feeling that washed over her at being in this dark tunnel alone with him, clutching his hand. This whole adventure was simply a kindness, an act of chivalry on his part, taking her through the tunnel instead of making her walk with him through town after curfew. It was wrong—and slightly ridiculous—for her to enjoy it this much, her stomach going all warm and her heart beating a new, joyous beat.
“Here we are at the fork.” His voice sounded gruff. “We have to veer to the left an
d we’ll come out next to the stable. It’s not much farther now.”
Rose felt a little lightheaded. Her knees were still shaking as they had been ever since the snake wriggled across her foot.
Lord Hamlin led her to the left and the tunnel became a hill to climb.
“I thank you, Lord Hamlin.” Rose’s voice shook. She swallowed. “For being so kind as to take me this way.”
“Of course.”
Did he squeeze her hand, or did she imagine it?
“I would do much more for you, Rose. If you ever need anything, send for me.”
Rose’s heart skipped like a young calf. She wanted to remember every word of this conversation. Taking a deep breath, she was surrounded by his smell, which emanated from his cloak, still wrapped around her. She wished this moment might never end.
“I’m sorry I screamed and frightened Shadow.”
“He’s all right. I only regret that the snake had such bad manners.”
A sliver of light came into view and she felt deflated that their journey was almost over. At the same time, after being engulfed in complete darkness, it was a relief to have somewhere to focus her eyes.
“We’re here.” Lord Hamlin loosened his grip on her hand and Rose let go. “As soon as I get these steps in place and raise the door, you can come out.”
“Lead Shadow out first. It’s amazing how well he behaves. He must trust you completely.”
Her hand felt bereft and cold without his warmth, but it still tingled pleasantly. She resisted the urge to press it against her lips and cheek.
“Shadow’s the best horse I know.” Lord Hamlin worked to get the wooden steps in place, then walked halfway up and pushed open the trapdoor with his forearm and shoulder. The horse stepped carefully up and out of the dark, dank tunnel, snorting and nodding his head, obviously happy to be above ground again.
“Your turn.” Lord Hamlin held out his hand from where he stood halfway up the steps.
“Thank you.” Rose placed her hand in his. His grip was strong and confident as he led her up the steps and onto the grass.