But things look up in the afternoon, after a couple of piña coladas and a crabmeat-salad sandwich. They all decide to rent three Sunfishes, and they pair up so that he and Cindy go out together. He has never sailed, so she stands up to her tits in the water fussing with the rudder while he sits high and dry holding the ropes that pull this striped three-cornered sail, that doesn’t look to him firmly attached enough, flapping this way and that while one aluminum pipe rubs against another. The whole thing feels shaky: They have you wear a kind of black rubber pad around your middle and in hers Cindy looks pretty cute with that short otter haircut, butch, like one of those female cops on TV or a frogwoman. He has never before noticed how dark and thick her eyebrows are; they knit toward each other and almost touch until the rudder catch clicks in finally. Then she gives a grunt and up she jumps, flat on her front so her tits squeeze out sideways, the untanned parts of them white as Maalox, her legs kicking in the water to bring her ass all black and shiny aboard, she is too much woman for this little boat, it is tilting like crazy. He pulls her by the arm and the aluminum pole at the bottom of the sail swings and hits him on the back of the head. Hard. He is stunned. She has grabbed the rope from him while still holding on to the rudder handle and keeps shouting, “The centerboard, the centerboard,” until he figures out what she means. This splintery long wood fin under his leg should go in that slot. He gets it out from under him and shoves it in. Instead of congratulating him, Cindy says, “Shit.” The little Fiberglas shell is parallel to the beach, where an arc of bathers has gathered to watch, and each wave is slopping them closer in. Then the wind catches the sail and flattens it taut, so the aluminum mast creaks, and they slowly bob out over the breaking waves toward the point of land on the right where the bay ends.
Once you get going you don’t feel how fast you’re moving, the water having no landmarks. Harry is toward the front, crouching way over in case the boom swings at his head again. Sitting yoga-style in her stout rubber gasket, the center strip of her bikini barely covering her opened-up crotch, Cindy tends the tiller and for the first time smiles. “Harry, you don’t have to keep holding on to the top of the centerboard, it doesn’t have to be pulled until we hit the beach.” The beach, the palms, the bungalows have been reduced to the size of a postcard.
“Should we be this far out?”
She smiles again. “We’re not far out.” The sailing gear tugs at her hands, the boat tips. The water out here is no longer the pale green of a honeydew melon but a green like bile, black in the troughs.
“We’re not,” he repeats.
“Look over there.” A sail scarcely bigger than the flash of a wave. “That’s Webb and Thelma. They’re much further out than we are.”
“Are you sure that’s them?”
Cindy takes pity. “We’ll come about when we’re closer to those rocks. You know what come about means, Harry?”
“Not exactly.”
“We’ll change direction. The boom will swing, so watch your head.”
“Do you think there are any sharks?” Still, he tells himself, there is an intimacy to it, just the two of them, the same spray hitting his skin and hers, the wind and water sounds that drown out all others, the curve of her shoulder shining like metal in the light of that hard white sun that makes the sun he grew up under seem orange and bloated in memory.
“Did you see Jaws II?” she asks back.
“D’you ever get the feeling everything these days is sequels?” he asks in turn. “Like people are running out of ideas.” He feels so full of fatigue and long-held lust as to be careless of his life, amid this tugging violence of elements. Even the sun-sparkle on the water feels cruel, a malevolence straight from Heaven, like those photons beating on the wings of the airplane flying down.
“Coming about,” Cindy says. “Hard alee.”
He crouches, and the boom misses. He sees another sail out here with them, Ronnie and Janice, headed for the horizon. She seems to be at the back, steering. When did she learn? Some summer camp. You have to be rich from the start to get the full benefits. Cindy says, “Now Harry, you take over. It’s simple. That little strip of cloth at the top of the mast is called a telltale. It tells what direction the wind is coming from. Also, look at the waves. You want to keep the sail at an angle to the wind. What you don’t want is to see the front edge of the sail flapping. That’s called luffing. It means you’re headed directly into the wind, and then you must head off. You push the tiller away from you, away from the sail. You’ll feel it, I promise. The tension between the tiller and the line - it’s like a scissors, sort of. It’s fun. Come on, Harry, nothing can happen. Change places with me.” They manage the maneuver, while the boat swings like a hammock beneath their bulks. A little cloud covers the sun, dyeing the water dark, then releasing it back into sunshine with a pang. Harry takes hold of the tiller and gropes until the wind takes hold with him. Then, as she says, it’s fun: the sail and tiller tugging, the invisible sea breeze pushing, the distances not nearly so great and hopeless once you have control. “You’re doing fine,” Cindy tells him, and from the way she sits with legs crossed facing ahead he can see the underside of all five toes of one bare foot, the thin blue skin here wrinkled, the littlest dear toe bent into the toe next to it as if trying to hide. She trusts him. She loves him. Now that he has the hang of it he dares to heel, pulling the mainsheet tighter and tighter, so the waves spank and his palm burns. The land is leaping closer, they are almost safe when, in adjusting his aim toward the spot on the beach where Janice and Ronnie have already dragged their Sunfish up, he lets out the sail a touch and the wind catches it full from behind; the prow goes under abruptly in a furious surging film; heavily the whole shell slews around and tips; he and Cindy have no choice but to slide off together, entangled with line. A veined translucence closes over his head. Air he thinks wildly and comes up in sudden shade, the boat looming on edge above them. Cindy is beside him in the water. Gasping, wanting to apologize, he clings briefly to her. She feels like a shark, slimy and abrasive. Their two foam-rubber belts bump underwater. Each hair in her eyebrows gleams in the strange light here, amid shadowed waves and the silence of stilled wind, only a gentle slipslap against the hollow hull. With a grimace she pushes him off, takes a deep breath, and disappears beneath the boat. He tries to follow but his belt roughly buoys him back. He hears her grunting and splashing on the other side of the upright keel, first pulling at, then standing on the centerboard until the Sunfish comes upright, great pearls of water exploding from it as the striped sail sweeps past the sun. Harry heaves himself on and deftly she takes the boat in to shore.
The episode is inglorious, but they all laugh about it on the beach, and in his self-forgiving mind their underwater embrace has rapidly dried to something tender and promising. The slither of two skins, her legs fluttering between his. The few black hairs where her eyebrows almost meet. The hairs of her crotch she boldly displayed sitting yoga-style. It all adds up.
Lunch at the resort is served by the pool or brought by tray to the beach, but dinner is a formal affair within a vast pavilion whose rafters drip feathery fronds yards long and at whose rear, beside the doors leading into the kitchen, a great open barbecue pit sends flames roaring high, so that shadows twitch against the background design of thatch and carved masks, and highlights spark in the sweating black faces of the assistant chefs. The head chef is a scrawny Belgian always seen sitting at the bar between meals, looking sick, or else conferring in accents of grievance with one of the prim educated native women who run the front desk. Monday night is the barbecue buffet, with a calypso singer during the meal and dancing to electrified marimbas afterward; but all six of the holidayers from Diamond County agree they are exhausted from the night at the casino and will go to bed early. Harry after nearly drowning in Cindy’s arms fell asleep on the beach and then went inside for a nap. While he was sleeping, a sudden sharp tropical rainstorm drummed for ten minutes on his tin roof. When he awoke, the rain had passed, and
the sun was setting in a band of orange at the mouth of the bay, and his pals had been yukking it up in the bar ever since the shower an hour ago. Something is cooking. They seem, the three women, very soft-faced by the light of the candle set on the table in a little red netted hurricane lamp, amid papery flowers that will be wilted before the meal is over. They keep touching one another, their sisterhood strengthened and excited down here. Cindy is wearing a yellow hibiscus in her hair tonight, and that Arab thing, unbuttoned halfway down. She more than once reaches past Webb’s drink and stringy brown hands as they pose on the tablecloth to touch Janice on a wrist, remembering “that fresh colored boy behind the bar today, I told him I was down here with my husband and he shrugged like it made no difference whatsoever!” Webb looks sage, letting the currents pass around him, and Ronnie sleepy and puffy but still full of beans, in that grim play-maker way of his. Harry and Ronnie were on the Mt. Judge basketball varsity together and more than once Rabbit had to suppress a sensation that though he was the star the coach, Marty Tothero, liked Ronnie better, because he never quit trying and was more “physical” around the backboards. The world runs on push. Rabbit’s feeling about things has been that if it doesn’t happen by itself it’s not worth making happen. Still, that Cindy. A man could kill for a piece of that. Pump it in, and die like a male spider. The calypso singer comes to their table and sings a long dirty song about the Big Bamboo. Harry doesn’t understand all the allusions but the wives titter after every verse. The singer smiles and the song smiles but his bloody eyes glitter like those of a lizard frozen on the wall and his skull when bent over the guitar shows gray wool. An old act. A dying art. Harry doesn’t know if they are supposed to tip him or just applaud. They applaud and quick as a lizard’s tongue his hand flickers out to take the bill that Webb, leaning back, has offered. The old singer moves on to the next table and begins that one about Back to back, and Belly to belly. Cindy giggles, touches Janice on the forearm, and says, “I bet all the people back in Brewer will think we’ve swapped down here.”
“Maybe we should then,” Ronnie says, unable to suppress a belch of fatigue.
Janice, in that throaty mature woman’s voice cigarettes and age have given her but that Harry is always surprised to hear she has, asks Webb, who sits beside her, gently, “How do you feel about that sort of thing, Webb?”
The old fox knows he has the treasure to barter and takes his time, pulling himself up in his chair to release an edge of coat he’s sitting on, a kind ofdark blue captain’s jacket with spoked brass buttons, and takes his pack of Marlboro Lights from his side pocket. Rabbit’s heart races so hard he stares down at the table, where the bloody bones, ribs and vertebrae, of their barbecue wait to be cleared away. Webb drawls, “Well, after two marriages that I’d guess you’d have to say were not fully successful, and some of the things I’ve seen and done before, after, and between, I must admit a little sharing among friends doesn’t seem to me so bad, ifit’s done with affection and respect. Respect is the key term here. Every party involved, and I mean every party, has to be willing, and it should be clearly understood that whatever happens will go no further than that particular occasion. Secret affairs, that’s what does a marriage in. When people get romantic.”
Nothing romantic about him, the king of the Polaroid pricks. Harry’s face feels hot. Maybe it’s the spices in the barbecue settling, or the length of Webb’s sermon, or a blush of gratitude to the Murketts, for arranging all this. He imagines his face between Cindy’s thighs, tries to picture that black pussy like a curved snug mass of eyebrow hairs, flattened and warmed to fragrance from being in underpants and framed by the white margins the bikini bottom had to cover to be decent. He will follow her slit down with his tongue, her legs parting with that same weightless slither he felt under water today, down and in, and around the comer next to his nose will be that whole great sweet ass he has a thousand times watched jiggle as she dried herself from swimming in the pool at the Flying Eagle, under the nappy green shadow of Mt. Pemaquid. And her tits, the fall of them forward when she obediently bends over. Something is happening in his pants, like the stamen of one of these floppy flowers on the tablecloth jerking with shadow as the candle-flame flickers.
“Down the way,” the singer sings at yet another table, “where the nights are gay, and the sun shines daily on the moun-tain-top.” Black hands come and smoothly clear away the dark bones and distribute dessert menus. There is a walnut cake they offer here that Harry especially likes, though there’s nothing especially Caribbean about it, it’s probably flown in from Fort Lauderdale.
Thelma, who is wearing a sort of filmy top you can see her cocoa-colored bra through, is gazing into middle distance like a schoolteacher talking above the heads of her class and saying, ” … simple female curiosity. It’s something you hardly ever see discussed in all these articles on female sexuality, but I think it’s what’s behind these male strippers rather than any real desire on the part of the women to go to bed with the boys. They’re just curious about the penises, what they look like. They do look a lot different from each other, I guess.”
“That how you feel?” Harry asks Janice. “Curious?”
She lowers her eyes to the guttering hurricane lamp. She murmurs, “Of course.”
“Oh I’m not,” Cindy says, “not the shape. I don’t think I am. I really am not.”
“You’re very young,” Thelma says.
“I’m thirty,” she protests. “Isn’t that supposed to be my sexual prime?”
As if rejoining her in the water, Harry tries to take her side. “They’re ugly as hell. Most of the pricks I’ve seen are.”
“You don’t see them erect,” Thelma lightly points out.
“Thank God for that,” he says, appalled, as he sometimes is, by this coarse crowd he’s in - by human coarseness in general.
“And yet he loves his own,” Janice says, keeping that light and cool and as it were scientific tone that has descended upon them, in the hushed dining pavilion. The singer has ceased. People at other tables are leaving, moving to the smaller tables at the edge of the dance floor by the pool.
“I don’t love it,” he protests in a whisper. “I’m stuck with it.”
“It’s you,” Cindy quietly tells him.
“Not just the pricks,” Thelma clarifies, “it has to be the whole man who turns you on. The way he carries himself. His voice, the way he laughs. But it all refers to that, I guess.”
Pricks. Can it be? They let the delicate subject rest, as dessert and coffee come. Revitalized by food and their talk, they decide after all to sit with Stingers and watch the dancing a while, under the stars that on this night seem to Harry jewels of a clock that moves with maddening slowness, measuring out the minutes until he sinks himself in Cindy as if a star were to fall and sizzle into this Olympic-sized pool. Once, on some far lost summer field of childhood, someone, his mother it must have been though he cannot hear her voice, told him that if you stare up at the night sky while you count to one hundred you are bound to see a shooting star, they are in fact so common. But though he now leans back from the Stinger and the glass table and the consolatory, conspiratory murmur of his friends until his neck begins to ache, all the stars above him hang unbudging in their sockets. Webb Murkett’s gravelly voice growls, “Well, kiddies. As the oldest person here, I claim the privilege of announcing that I’m tired and want to go to bed.” And as Harry turns his face from the heavens there it is, in a comer of his vision, vivid and brief as a scratched match, a falling star, doused in the ocean of ink. The women rise and gather their skirts about them; the marimbas, after a consultation of fluttering, fading notes, break into “Send in the Clowns.” This plaintive pealing is lost behind them as they move along the pool, and past the front desk where the haggard, alcoholic resort manager is trying to get through long-distance to New York, and across the hotel’s traffic circle with its curbs of whitewashed coral, down into the shadowy realm of concrete paths between bushes of sleeping
flowers. The palms above them grow noisy as the music fades. The shoosh of surf draws nearer. At the moonlit point where the paths diverge into three, goodnights are nervously exchanged but no one moves; then a woman’s hand reaches out softly and takes the wrist of a man not her husband. The others follow suit, with no person looking at another, a downcast and wordless tugging serving to separate the partners out and to draw them down the respective paths to each woman’s bungalow. Harry hears Cindy giggle, at a distance, for it is not her hand with such gentle determination pulling him along, but Thelma’s.