“You have something you want to say me?” she huffs the words out hostile, each one its own minty breath.
“Yeah, I do.” I pull her in and dig my fingers into the back of her hair like I’ve been craving for days. “I want to say this.” My eyes close, my lips fall over hers, and Lucky meets me right there with all of her ripe hostilities transferred into this one vengeful kiss. Her tongue dives into my mouth harsher, far hungrier than she was the other night. This is visceral, volatile—hell, it’s downright explosive.
Lucky hikes her legs up over my waist, and her skirt spreads wide over her hips. My hands pull apart the buttons on her blouse, and I lose it. Like some sex-depraved lunatic, I bury my face into her tits and unleash a fury on them. Lucky runs her hands up my shirt and rakes her nails down over my back, drawing blood in the elaborately slow and knifelike process. But not a part of me minds the slicing and dicing of my flesh. Every part of me wants it.
Lucky unbuttons, unzips, and pulls down my pants just enough to dive her hands into my boxers—and it’s go time.
“Shit.” I pitch my head back, eyes closed, and just take in the feel of her hands wrapped tight around me.
In a split second, I free the condom from my wallet and pull back just enough to get a look at her beautiful, beautiful face.
“You want this?” It comes out less than a whisper. A part of me isn’t even sure why I’m asking. I want this in the very worst way.
Her eyes widen as if I’ve just set a dare out before her. Lucky gives the idea of a nod before whispering, “Yes, I want this with you.”
There’s something decidedly sweet about the way she tagged it, with you. It makes me feel special, wanted on some level more than just as a fast fuck, and a part of me holds on to the idea this is true.
I roll on the condom and get back to the task of devouring Lucky Madden’s luscious mouth. My hand traces down to her thigh before traveling to that secret spot I’ve thought about far too often. My fingers glide over her panties, and I can feel her there, her wetness already seeping through. Before I can indulge without the fabric between us, Lucky grabs ahold of my dick and launches me to where I need to be.
Slowly, carefully, I press my way inside her.
Lucky leans her head back so fast she hits the brick wall with a hearty thump.
“Geez—you okay?” I’m jolted out of the moment, lucid as can be, while my dick stands partially in Lucky Madden’s vagina.
Holy mother of all things good and evil. It’s become apparent that I will die quickly by the hands of Jet Crazy as Hell Madden. Our eyes lock, and something magnetic, a force that cannot be described in any human terms, bonds us together on a deeper level.
“I’m better now,” she pants through a smile and pulls me into a hard kiss.
And just like that, I shove Jet out of my mind and lose myself in having the best sex of my life, in a dark, dank laundry room, against a wall—against my better judgment—with a girl I’ve completely lost my mind over.
Everyone seemed to be in on it but me.
I’m sunk. I’ve never felt so strongly—in just about every emotion over anyone. I’m so glad this girl hacked her way into my life—so glad she chose me to pick on that fated night at the Black Bear.
Everything about Lucky makes me so damn happy.
Coming Clean
Lucky
The air is just a touch warmer out than expected as I traipse—hobble—all the way back to Whitney Briggs. Lawson offered to give me a ride, but I all but scrambled my way out of that laundry room and told him I had to get across the street. Which is technically true, but I forgo checking in with Kappa G and make a beeline for Briggs instead.
I can’t believe that just happened! My heart hasn’t stopped its bionic thumping in my ears for the last ten minutes.
I can’t believe I lost my virginity to Lawson Kent! A small laugh bubbles up my throat as I stop under a fifty-foot maple, bald and ready for spring with its thorny arms raised in worship to an amber sky.
Lawson Kent. I bite down over my lip as the memory of what just happened rushes back. My insides burn as if he lit a match in my vagina. I can still feel him there inside of me. I’m not sure what kind of condom he pulled out of his wallet, but I’m guessing it’s the less popular sandpaper variety.
In a fit of elation and dizzying disbelief, I pull out my phone. I can’t wait to get back to Cutler. I need to get this info out right freaking now. I’ll text Ava so she can have Harper in our room by the time I get back. Some serious girl talk is about to take place, and I want to discuss my new deflower power into the ground while it’s still fresh in my mind and in my burning vagina.
Just LOST MY VIRGINITY! Up against a wall!
My feet tap dance back and forth as I hit send and have a giggle fit all at once. I can practically see Ava’s shocked expression as she’s reading this. She’s prob—
A face at the corner of my screen catches my attention. Only it’s not Ava. It’s Jet.
“No, no, no.” I shake my phone as if it were a Magic 8 Ball, but it’s my brother’s name that sits prominently at the top of the message window.
“Holy fuck!” I bark so loud a group of girls slow down as they pass me by. “No!” I whimper in horror. I couldn’t have sent that text to Jet. Stupid, stupid move!
The screen lights up as he starts to write back. My mouth drops as those ellipses do the wave over and over. “Good God.” I can hardly breathe at the missive he’s about to pen. “I can’t do this.” An overwhelming urge to chuck my phone into the nearest waste receptacle hits me—then, just as quick as that lousy idea comes to mind, I think up another.
I’ll tell him I was hacked—that someone stole my phone. That Harper is pulling a prank!
My phone pings, and I’m deathly afraid to look. Slowly, I turn it around, holding it an entire arm’s length away as if Jet had the power to burst right through it. Jet is basically super human in my eyes, so this wouldn’t at all surprise me.
Very funny. I’m not laughing. There are a lot of creative ways to get out of work—giving me a heart attack doesn’t have to be one of them. Daisy says nice job. We’ll see you tomorrow.
My entire body exhales with relief. Not only didn’t Jet take me seriously, but I quite accidentally and thankfully got out of my daily non-grind at the shop. Honestly, it’s as if he pays me in a twisted effort to monitor me.
I decide to forgo any more electronic communication with my friends that might accidentally incriminate me—or be used against me in the court of Jet Madden, and instead, I hightail it up to Cutler.
Harper is already lounging on my bed when I walk in, and Ava is just coming out of the bathroom with her hair and face in perfect model form, which usually means she’s headed out with Grant in just a few minutes.
“Huge news, girls!” I bounce on my bed and feel the burn between my legs as if flames just erupted. Dear God, that condom must have been collecting some serious dust and rust because I’m pretty sure it was corrosive. If there is a line of condoms that comes dipped in battery acid, that was one of them. According to Rush’s carnal collection, condoms come in every flavor and variety. I’m betting Lawson made a withdrawal from the wrong box. Sriracha isn’t something I ever thought would end up in all the wrong places.
“I just had sex.” The words tumble from my lips, giddy and lighter than air because it’s all I can do to keep from bouncing to the ceiling.
“With who?” Harper swats me as if I just copped to holding up a bank.
“Oh my God!” Ava looks as if she’s about to be sick.
I bury my face in my hands for a moment. “Lawson Kent.”
“What?” they both shout in unison as if I had confessed to a mass murder.
“Relax, would you?” I swat them each in turn with my pillow.
Ava blinks back with an indignation I’ve yet to see on her before. “I wish you would have relaxed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her phone
buzzes, and she glances at it before her eyes enlarge the size of doorknobs. “Why the heck is Owen texting me, asking if you’ve lost your virginity?”
“Oh, that’s nothing.” I’m quick to dismiss it. “Tell him I was kidding.”
“Dear God.” Her fingers thump over her phone, quick and spastic. “Explain yourself.”
“I may have texted Jet and told him I handed in my V card.”
“What?” the two of them crow in unison again.
“On accident! I thought it was you.” I thump my knee to Ava’s. “I was going to have you round up Harper because I mistakenly thought you would be happy for me.” I harden my gaze at the two of them. “You are happy for me, right?”
Harper’s mouth opens and closes, and Ava sort of hardballs me with a dirty look.
“I’m going to kill Lawson.” Ava grinds her teeth. It’s not every day Ava threatens to take anyone’s life, first and foremost because her sister actually did just that.
“I’m not going to kill him.” Harper shakes her head, but the expression on her face clearly spells out pity—for me, I’m assuming. “He is my big brother after all, and big brothers make mistakes just like everybody else.”
“What’s this?” I’m practically incensed. “Death threats? Mistakes? I think maybe I should kill—as in the two of you—because obviously sharing this happy news with you was an enormous mistake.”
“No”—Ava pulls my hand in—“it wasn’t. I promise. It’s just that—don’t you wish your first time was, you know, special?”
“It was special.” I snatch my hand back from her. “Up until now, I was pretty psyched about joining your slutty ranks, but your little party pooper attitude just put a pinprick in my good time!”
Harper tries to suppress her laughter. “Did anything micro ruin your good time?”
“There was nothing micro about it.” Nope. That was a bona fide torpedo he launched inside of me.
“How’s Prince Albert?” She glances to her crotch in the event I didn’t get the implication.
“Truthfully, I didn’t notice.” I was too preoccupied with far more important things at the moment.
Harper’s chest thumps as if she’s holding back a laugh. “On a Scoville heat index scale, how bad does your vagina burn?”
“I think I started at habanero, but we’re quickly progressing toward ghost pepper.”
Ava takes the pillow from me and slumps over it as if someone just ran over her dog. “I guess I thought you would want to be in love before you actually did the deed. I mean, I know you were up for a good time with many, many boys. I just thought you had a hard moral line and weren’t about to cross it. Lawson should have known better. How dare he take advantage of you like that? Stealing your virginity like some micropenis thief.”
All of the anger I once felt for Lawson seems to have transposed onto Ava.
“He doesn’t know he stole my anything, and I want to keep it that way.”
Harper’s expression darkens, and it looks as if she’s slowly siding with Ava and her high and mighty morality. “Where did this indiscretion happen?”
“Indiscretion? None of your business.” I hop up, pull on a jacket, and collect my purse.
“We just want you to be happy,” Ava bleats, tugging on my coat as I make my way to the door. “True love is the ultimate experience, Lucky. And you of all people deserve to have someone who cares for you that way.”
“Yes, well, for that to happen, I’d have to be loveable, wouldn’t I?”
I head down to Hallowed Grounds and order the biggest cup of coffee on their menu and promptly burn the shit out of my tongue before I ever take a seat. Figures.
A group of cackling girls waltzes in, and I duck and moan simultaneously because Daisy and her friends are the last people on the planet I want anything to do with. I watch as they get their coffee, and I try to use all of my mind power to will them right back out that door. Instead, Daisy burps out a whooping hello, and soon enough all four of them have descended at my table.
“This is Cassidy,” Daisy introduces the blonde with a jagged scar running up her face. She’s beautiful in an I-can-kick-your-ass sort of way.
“Nice to meet ya.” She gives a little wink, and her country twang makes her the instant favorite of the bunch.
Daisy thumps her rusty brown nails over the table. “Are you trying to kill your brother?”
“Did it work?” I take another sip of my demonic coffee and enlarge the burn ratio over my tongue. Great. Both my vagina and my mouth are craving an ice pack right about now. And if this wicked coven Daisy hauled over doesn’t leave soon, my head will, too.
“Yes, it worked.” She snorts with a laugh. “Don’t tease like that, girl.” Daisy shudders. “I rue the day you get attached to someone of the opposite gender.”
Piper smirks. Ava doesn’t realize it, but she and Piper actually look a lot alike, same dark hair, same day-glow eyes. Ava’s brother must have wanted a girl who looked just like dear old mom—assuming Ava looks anything like her mother. Apparently, her parents are fond of disowning their children and making them pay for the sins of their sister. Whom they raised, mind you.
“Believe me”—Piper points at no one in particular—“Owen thought he would die if and when Ava fell in love, and, take it from me, his heart is still very much beating.”
Scarlett nods. “I think Jet would need to get over the initial shock, but as long as you’re not having a one-night stand, he’ll eventually warm to the idea.”
Did Lawson and I have a one-night stand? It was dark out, and technically, we were standing. We’re not a forever kind of a deal, are we? I glare at Scarlett a moment until her brother’s features pop up at me unexpectedly, and I instantly soften. And now it’s my heart that I’m worried about.
“One-night stand?” Cassidy gently rakes her nine-inch nails over the back of my hand. “This girl is too sweet to even think of such a horror. Believe you me, there is not a boy worth your while who only wants one thing. You just wait, and when you least expect it—whamo!” She claps so hard each one of us inches back in our seats. “You’ll be struck with the love bug. That’s exactly the way it happened for Cade and me.”
“Cade is my brother.” Piper averts her eyes a moment. “And believe me, he wasn’t crazy about Owen when we first met, so you can see this is just a vicious cycle that repeats itself time and time again. You’re not the only one who suffers the torments of an overbearing brother.”
Cassidy checks her phone before rising. “Do yourself a big favor and wait for Mr. Right. Mr. Right Now simply doesn’t deserve you. No one-night stands for you, missy!” She gives a friendly wave as she trots out the door.
“I’d better get going, too.” Scarlett rises and looks to Daisy. “You tell your brother not to worry. This girl isn’t throwing her pearls to swine. Nice girls like Lucky don’t do that whole love ’em and leave ’em bit.” She gives a sly wink.
Piper leans in and offers me a hug, tucking her lips close to my ear. “If you ever need a lifeline, I’m here for you,” she whispers as she speeds off with a wave, and Scarlett follows her right out the door.
Piper wants to be my lifeline. My heart warms at the idea. God knows I can use a lifeline or two. But Scarlett’s words resonate in my mind—love ’em and leave ’em. That’s almost word for word how I framed my newfound serial dating spree to Lawson. Speaking of the cherry-popping man of the hour, he’s not my Mr. Right Now, is he? We’re friends who were just a —friendly…fuck? God, that sounds so vulgar.
“Hey”—Daisy shakes me out of my stupor—“don’t let those girls get to you. I promise love is coming your way. I remember not too long ago wishing I could have just that, and the more I wished for it the further it seemed to get. Fate sort of ended up throwing Jet and me together.” She winces. “Fate and perhaps a not-so esteemed member of the U.S. Senate. But hey, you’ve got loads of time to worry about that. Who needs love when you’ve got papers to write? Am I right, or am I
write? Get it?” She guffaws at her own pun, and I’m slow to join her.
Instead, I lean in and needle her with my stare. “You wouldn’t happen to know what a hand job is, would you?”
Her eyes bug out, and I can practically hear a car horn going off in her mind. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Is it bad?” I gasp at the thought. Crap. I should never have even mentioned it the other night with Lawson. He must think I’m an idiot. And growing opinion in Cutler Tower—specifically my dorm, is running with this idea.
“Oh, hon.” She sinks her face in her hands. “Thank God you’re so innocent and naïve. Your brother has nothing to worry about.” She laughs so hard for a second I wonder if I inadvertently said something hysterical. “A hand job”—she forms a tunnel over her lips with her hands and whispers—“is nothing you should worry your pretty little head about.” She hops up and starts to take off, and I catch the tip of her sleeve and reel her back down.
“Definition, please.”
“Oh, Lucky.” She leans in and whispers directly into my ear, and I gasp.
Crap. I cringe at the thought of how naïve I really am.
Daisy finally takes off, and I make my way out of the café and into the dark night that has swallowed Whitney Briggs whole. Slowly, I meander throughout campus, past the gym, past the senior square, past the gaggle of girls that seems to light up the night with their cackling laughter, and straight into the thicket of evergreens that line the back of the school.
I stagger through the dark and looming forest, and that ache deep inside my heart ratchets up until it feels like I’m about to burst. Only this time all of those giddy feelings I had hours earlier evaporate to nothing. And then the tears come, slow and steady at first, until they blur my vision to the point I can no longer see. Then heaving sobs, the blubbering of a child who didn’t get her way—a child no one could possibly ever love.