foolishness alone? Was that too much to ask?
“Yeah,” I muttered.
“You look pretty pissed over it,” he remarked.
I took a deep breath and lifted my gaze. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re very observant?”
He laughed softly, raising the bottle. “Hey, I’m not the one who threw you into the pool like a basketball.”
Wrapping the towel around my shoulders, I mentally counted to ten. Cody hadn’t done anything wrong. “So, what are you up to?”
“Nothing really.” He took a swig from the bottle. “Trying to decide if I feel up to staying here or heading elsewhere.”
While I wasn’t in the mood for conversation, I wasn’t doing anything else. Abbi was still arguing with Keith, and Sebastian was with Phillip and Megan, by the lounge chairs. “What else do you have planned?”
“No idea. Just not really feeling it today, you know?” Crossing his legs at the ankles, he leaned against the side of the pool house, looking out toward the pool. “You’re missing a friend, aren’t you?”
I nodded. “Dary. She’s doing the family thing in DC.”
“Sounds like fun.” He didn’t sound like he believed that. “How late are you planning to be here?”
Dusk was settling, so I knew it had to be past eight. I’d already stayed later than I’d anticipated. “Not much longer.” I pretty much just wanted to go home and eat the Pop-Tarts Mom had picked up.
“You’re obviously not feeling it either.” He shifted his body toward mine. “We could steal Sebastian’s keys and go for a ride.”
I swallowed my snort. “Yeah, I don’t think that would be wise.”
“What?” A playful grin tugged at his lips. “It would be fun.”
“Uh-huh.” I kicked off my flip-flops, hoping the stone walkway was baked with enough heat that they’d dry. “First off, pretty sure you’re not going to be able to steal the keys that are currently in the pocket of his shorts.”
“You have such little faith in me,” he replied. “I have sneaky fingers.”
“I’m sure you do, but since I’ve heard you’re back with Jessica, I seriously doubt she will be happy to hear that we stole Sebastian’s car together,” I told him. “And I really don’t want that kind of drama.”
“Damn, news travels fast, huh?” Cody shook his head. “Jessica can be...feisty.”
“That is a really tame description of Jessica,” I said, laughing a little. “Not trying to be mean or anything.”
“Nah, I get you.” He nudged my arm slightly. “We’re about to get company.”
I didn’t get a chance to glance over my shoulder.
“Hey,” Sebastian said from behind me. “Am I interrupting something?”
Tensing, I refused to let myself turn around and look at him. “Cody and I are talking.”
“I can see that.” Sebastian moved to stand beside me, so close I could feel the warmth radiating off his body. “About what?”
“We were plotting nefarious things,” Cody answered.
Sebastian snickered. “Do you even know what nefarious means?”
“Damn, Seb.” Cody coughed out a laugh. Stepping to the side, he tipped his bottle at me. “Have fun with all of that.” He then pointed at Sebastian with the mouth of the bottle. He grinned. “Good to hear you got extra practice tomorrow with the coach. You’ve been gone all month. Don’t want to be holding the team back.”
“You don’t have to worry about me holding anyone back,” Sebastian replied.
“Sure, sure,” Cody said as he pivoted and walked away.
I glanced at Sebastian. “That was kind of rude, don’t you think?”
“Not really. Figured I’d come over here and save you from being stuck in a conversation with him.”
“I don’t recall sending up an SOS signal.”
“Wow.” He moved in front of me just as the twinkling lights strung along the trees blinked on. His brows were furrowed together. “That was a little—”
“I’d proceed with caution with what you’re about to say,” I warned, staring up at him. “Choose your words wisely.”
He opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. Turning sideways, he whipped off his baseball cap and thrust his fingers through his hair before he pulled the hat back on. “Are you ticked off because I interrupted you guys?”
Oh. Yeah. That was the reason. I could feel my cheeks heating up, and I was grateful that the outdoor lights weren’t that bright. Frustration swept over my skin like an army of fire ants. “Whatever.”
“Wait.” He laughed, but that sound was hoarse. “Are you, like, interested in Cody?”
“What?”
“Are you into Cody?” he repeated.
I tugged the towel closer. I could not have heard him correctly. I’d just kissed him and he was asking me this? “Why would it matter if I was?”
He looked like I’d admitted to dropping out of school to pursue a career as a professional street performer. “Cody is a player, Lena. He’s been with half the school. He’s back with—”
“I know what he is, but what I don’t know is why you care,” I shot back, struggling to keep my voice low.
Sebastian stared down at me, disbelief etched into his face. “You’ve never been interested in him. Ever. And now you are?”
Okay, so I wasn’t interested in Cody whatsoever, but this conversation was ridiculous. “Why are we talking about this? Weren’t you hanging all over Skylar last night?”
Sebastian’s chin jerked to the side. “What does that have to do with the conversation we’re having?”
The breath I took scorched a hole into my chest, and I could taste the metallic bitterness and rancid jealousy, feelings that had existed beneath the surface for far too long. Feelings I’d hidden and pretended didn’t exist for years. But now it was like I was stripped bare, my skin flayed open, and there was just no more hiding.
He rubbed his palm across his chest, right above his heart. “I actually cannot believe we’re having this conversation.”
I jolted. “You can’t believe we’re having this conversation? You started it and, you know what, I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m mad at you.”
“Mad at me?” His brows flew up. “About what?”
Dropping the towel, I looked down at myself pointedly. A small puddle of water had formed under me. I knew in the back of my head that being pissed at him for throwing me into the pool had nothing to do with the actual act. Hell, he’d done that before. I’d actually pushed him into Keith’s pool a few times. But I wanted to be mad, because being mad was better than being embarrassed and hurt and disappointed.
“You’re seriously mad at me for that?” He stepped back. “What the hell? Are you—”
“I kissed you!” The moment I said those words, a knot formed in the back of my throat.
His jaw tightened as he lowered his head toward mine. “What?”
“I kissed you on Monday, and I...I didn’t mean to. It happened and before...before I could say anything, you practically ran away. And I thought you were going to kiss me when you threw me in the pool,” I said, breathing heavy and feeling a little sick. “That’s what I thought you were doing.”
In the failing light, his eyes looked like the ocean at night, a dark and deep endless blue. “Lena, I thought—”
“Sebastian!”
He jerked back at the sound of Skylar’s voice and then he looked over his shoulder, chest rising and falling deeply.
Oh for crap’s sake...
She was coming down the walkway, clad in a strapless dress that skimmed the top of her thighs. She was walking so fast her hair lifted off her shoulders. It looked like she was prowling down a runway. “There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
Pressing my lips together, I fought the urge to point out that we weren’t exactly hidden and were not hard to find, so she seriously didn’t need to look everywhere.
Skylar had that Miss America s
mile on her face as she walked up to us. She placed her hand on Sebastian’s arm, and I focused on the ground. “Can we talk for a second?” she asked.
I briefly squeezed my eyes shut, knowing he was going to say yes and it was time for me to end this conversation before any more serious damage was done. I shoved my feet into my flip-flops. “I’ve got to go over...there.”
Sebastian turned to me. “Lena—”
“See you in a bit,” I cut in, forcing a smile at Skylar.
She smiled back, and I think she said something, but I didn’t hear her over the roaring in my ears as I hurried back toward the pool, immediately tracking down Abbi.
“You okay?” She was sitting on the edge of a lounge chair. Keith was leaning back in it, and at some point he must’ve decided the Speedo had to go, since he was now wearing shorts and a T-shirt. It was a definite improvement.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Totally fine.”
She looked doubtful as she glanced back toward the pool house. She opened her mouth, but I cut her off. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Okay.” She patted the space next to her. “Sit with me.”
I sat on the edge of the chair, with my back to the pool house, and I didn’t look over my shoulder. Not once. And as I sat there, listening to Keith and Abbi attempt to outsnark each other, I told myself that everything that had happened with Sebastian wouldn’t matter. Tonight sucked. But tomorrow would be a better day.
Tomorrow had to be.
TODAY
CHAPTER TEN
Sunday, August 20
I couldn’t move, and everything hurt—my skin felt stretched too tight, muscles burned like they’d been lit on fire, and my bones ached deep into the marrow. I never knew pain like this before. I could barely breathe around it.
My brain felt like it was full of cobwebs and fog. I tried to lift my arms, but they were weighed down, full of lead. Confusion swirled inside me.
I thought I heard a steady beeping sound and voices, but all of it seemed far away, as if I was on one end of the tunnel and everyone was on the other end. I couldn’t speak. There...there was something in my throat, in the back of my throat. My arm twitched without warning, and there was a tug at the top of my hand.
Why wouldn’t my eyes open?
Panic started to dig in. Why couldn’t I move? Something was wrong. Something was really wrong. I just wanted to open my eyes. I wanted—
I love you, Lena.
I love you, too.
The voices echoed in my head, one of them mine. One of them definitely mine, but the other—
“She’s starting to wake up,” a female said from somewhere on the other side of the tunnel.
Footsteps neared and a male spoke. “I’m adding propofol now.”
“This is the second time she’s woken up,” the woman replied. “Hell of a fighter. Her mother is going to be happy to hear that.”
Fighter? I didn’t understand what they were talking about, why they thought my mom would be happy to hear this—
Maybe I should drive?
The voice again, in my head, and it was mine. I was sure it was mine.
Warmth hit my veins, starting at the base of my skull and then washing over me, cascading through my body, and then there were no dreams, no thoughts and no voices.
Tuesday, August 22
Nausea churned my stomach.
It was the first thing I noticed when the suffocating, blanketing darkness eased off again. I was sick to my stomach, like I could vomit, if there was actually anything in my stomach.
Everything hurt.
My head throbbed, along with my jaw, but the worst pain was coming from my chest. Each breath I took scorched my lungs and didn’t seem to really do anything for me. I had to take more breaths to get enough oxygen. There was unnatural tightness, like rubber bands had been stretched around my chest.
Struggling to make sense of what was going on with my body, I willed my eyes open. Nothing happened at first, like they were sewn shut, but I worked and worked at it until I peeled them open.
Bright light blinded me, forcing me to lose all progress and close my eyes again. I wanted to shrink back from it. I shifted slightly, then stopped when darts of pain shot up and down my body.
What was wrong with me?
“Lena?” The voice moved closer. “Lena, are you awake?”
I knew that voice—it belonged to my sister. But that didn’t make sense, because she should be at Radford. At college. I think.
I had no idea what day it was. Saturday? Sunday?
Cool fingers touched my arm. “Lena?”
Trying again, I opened my eyes, this time prepared for the light. My vision cleared, and I saw a drop ceiling, like the kind in my classroom. Lowering my gaze, I looked to the right and I saw Lori sitting in one of the two chairs next to me.
It was her.
But it wasn’t.
My sister looked horrible, and she never looked bad. She was genetically predetermined to always look amazing, even in the mornings, but right now her hair appeared unwashed and was pulled up in a haphazard bun. Her eyes were bloodshot and the skin under them puffy and pink. The gray Radford University shirt was wrinkled.
“Hey,” she whispered, smiling, but something was off about the smile. It was weak and strained. “You’re awake, sleepyhead.”
Had I been sleeping a long time? Felt like it. Like I’d been sleeping for days. But this wasn’t my bed or my bedroom. I wet my lips. They felt dry, as did my mouth and throat. “What...?” I ran out of air, and the words were hard to force out. “What is...going on?”
“What’s going on?” she repeated, and then closed her eyes tight. The skin puckered at the corners. “You’re in the intensive care unit in Fairfax. At INOVA,” she said softly, opening her eyes and glancing at the door.
“I...I don’t understand,” I whispered hoarsely.
Her gaze darted back to mine. “What?”
Getting the words out was exhausting. “Why am...I in the ICU?”
Lori’s eyes searched mine. “You were in a car accident, Lena. A really—” Her breath caught and she breathed deeply. “A really bad car accident.”
A car accident? I stared at her for a moment and then shifted my gaze from her, back to the drop ceiling and the too-bright lights. A second passed and I turned my head slightly, wincing as stabbing pain ricocheted from one temple to the next. The walls were white, lined with boxes and containers marked as hazardous material.
The tugging feeling at the top of my hand made more sense. It was an IV. I was most definitely in a hospital, but a car accident? I searched my head, but it...it was full of shadows with memories cloaked behind them.
“I...I don’t remember a car...accident.”
“Jesus,” Lori murmured.
The door opened, and I saw Mom. A tall, thin man followed her, wearing a white lab coat. Mom halted almost immediately, clasping her hands together against her chest. She looked as bad as Lori.
“Oh, baby,” Mom cried, and then she was lurching forward, rushing to the bed.
A memory floated to the surface. Words—words that had been spoken to me. Do you love me enough to carry me inside my house, pass my mom and tuck me into bed?
Someone had said that to me—outside, in the driveway of Keith’s house. The voice came back out of the darkness, eerily familiar. But only after we stop at McDonald’s so I can get chicken nuggets.