“Hey.”
He straightens us up and opens the door to the study, letting me go in first. I pad over to the couch and take a seat. Pete sits next to me and takes one of my hands in his.
“So, how did it go with the doctor?” He holds me tightly tracing my fingers one at a time.
“She says there aren’t any signs of, um, forced entry, so to speak.” My face flames up. I can feel the heat rising from my chest up to the top of my head. This is a conversation I never thought I’d have, but I’m relieved all the same. I didn’t think they were down there, but having someone confirm it makes me feel better.
Pete squeezes my hand and looks into my eyes, prompting me to continue.
“Yeah, so, it looks like everything might be okay after all. I need to have more tests done in a couple of weeks to be officially all in the clear. Until then, she suggests I take all the necessary precautions, just in case. Speaking of which,”
I remove my hand from Pete’s and start to play with the fabric of my skirt. This is going to be hard, but I have to do it.
“Gina? This is me, you can tell me anything.” Pete lifts my chin up with a finger.
I stand up and walk over to his desk and pick up the book I saw yesterday. I hand it to him, open to that poem. He takes the book from me and looks at it with curiosity in his eyes.
"Is it story telling time? I don't-"
I sit down next to him and cut him off. “It’s about the women, Peter. I’m not okay with them. I know you’ve had a messed up life with screwed up parents. I know women come and go in this place, but I can’t do it. I can’t be someone’s second best anymore. I’m sorry. If I can't be the only one, I can't be anything at all.” My lip trembles as I suck in a breath. We've only just begun, and I'm already giving ultimatums.
Pete sets the book down next to him and takes hold of my hands. He hunches down so that his face is right in front of mine. “Gina, I don't expect you to believe me, but I hope you will. There hasn’t been anyone except you for a really long time.”
“Twenty-four hours isn’t a long time for most people, Peter.” I say, not looking up.
He lets go of one of my hands and his thumb strokes my cheekbone. “Silly girl. I haven’t been with anyone else since the first night I brought you to my room from the club. After that night, other women are completely unappealing.”
I rip my hand out from his grip and stand up, taking a few steps away from the couch. Shaking my head, I put a hand in front of me in a stop motion, in case he has any ideas of coming close and short-circuiting my brain with his touches and kisses.
“Please don’t patronize me, Peter. I may be naïve and over-trusting sometimes, but I’m not stupid. There have been plenty of women since that night. I’d rather you be honest with me than have you lie to my face. All those pictures I saw in the news, the stripper across the street from Erin’s, those women you left with at the merger gala and that pretty girl wearing a sheet in the ballroom—” My voice cracks at mid-sentence, as my insides twist when I remember that specific girl. She wasn't random.
Pete runs a hand through his hair and leans back into the couch, letting his head fall back on the backrest. “What pretty girl in the ballroom?”
“Really? You don’t even remember your last screw from twenty-four hours ago? I’m talking about the girl who interrupted us when we were dancing in the ballroom yesterday. You know, Miss Bedsheets? You don't bring women home unless--unless they mean something to you.” Like I meant something to him that night.
“If you hadn't stormed off yesterday, I could've explained. That damned temper of yours is going to be a problem if you run away from me whenever we have a misunderstanding. That girl was Jon’s date, not mine.”
“Then why was she looking for you, all naked and smelling like sex while half-dressed with a condom in your back pocket?”
“What? She wasn’t looking for me, she was looking for Jon. She probably assumed I was Jon because my back was turned to her. You know my brothers and I look alike."
"And the condom?"
"I can't believe I'm being condemned for being responsible. Gina, I’ve been putting one of those in my back pocket since the day I discovered sex. It’s become a habit, a good habit. Before I leave my rooms, I grab my wallet, my phone, and a condom. Habits are hard to break, half the time I don’t even realize I do it. I had no intention of using it.”
“You didn’t?”
He shakes his head. "No. And the other women were just for show. At first, I was trying to get my mother to see that her plan wasn’t working so she could let you off the hook. Nothing happened with any of them, and it's not from lack of trying. I tried, believe me, I tried. I’m not a saint. I was trying so hard to purge you from my mind. I thought maybe, by touching someone else, my hands would forget how soft your skin is, and if I let myself kiss someone else, my mouth would forget the taste and feel of your lips. Whenever the time came, I just couldn’t do it. Everything felt wrong, lifeless. I couldn't have sex with any of them.”
My throat is so tight that I can’t swallow. My face twitches, lost between a smile and a sob. “You couldn’t?” He shakes his head. “Why not?”
Peter lowers his lashes and takes a deep breath. When his gaze meets mine, those azure eyes bore into me. “Because they weren’t you.”
“And the stripper? The girl across from Erin’s place? That was just for kicks? That hurt me, a lot.” I want to cry and laugh. My body is spazzing between emotions as fear drips down my spine.
“I was purposefully trying to hurt you. I wanted you to hate me so much you’d run far away from me and straight into Gambino's arms.”
“What? How could you say that? I mean—”
He cuts me off. “I love you, Gina. I have for a while, but it’s killing me. I want you for myself more than I want my next breath, but I also want what’s best for you, which is someone better than me. During the merger gala, I saw how good Gambino was for you, how perfect you were for each other, but then I found out about his father. I stumbled across some papers in my mother's office while looking for your criminal file. That's when I discovered the Congressman's involvement with some sketchy people. Why my mother has such information on file is beyond me, but it was there. When Erin called, she confirmed my suspicion that his son was just as corrupt.”
Peter sucks in air and runs his fingers through his hair. His head tips to the side and he tries to explain things to me. "I’m not a good man, Gina. The only decent thing I've done was saving you that night at the rave. Even then, you wouldn't have needed saving if it hadn't been for me. You can’t marry me, because I don’t want your life to be tainted by all the crap I’ve done—and if you stay with me, that’s exactly what will happen. You deserve someone better who’ll take care of you better than I ever could.” It’s as if there’s more he wants to say, but the words stop.
After a moment, I gently prod. “But…?”
He glances up at me from under those dark lashes. “But, at the same time, I can’t live without you. I need you Gina. You’re air, you’re light, you’re life. I can’t walk away, but I can’t stay. I’m completely and totally fucked.”
I walk back to the couch and sit on Pete's lap, straddling his legs. I take his face in my hands and kiss him. Pete kisses me back, but then pulls away and turns his head to the side, like he doesn’t deserve my kiss. He just doesn’t see how amazing he is.
“Peter, I want you to listen very carefully. In the past year, there have been three men in my life. Anthony was a hard working scholar on his way to becoming a dedicated doctor. My parents adored him. He ended up cheating on me and pretended to love me to get some fast money. Philip was perfect--a gentleman, well educated, the rich son of a well-known and loved Congressman. But then he tried to rape and kill me. And then there’s you—”
He’s shaking, and his eyes are looking anywhere but at mine. “Don’t. Gina.” It’s like he’s gasping for air, drowning in fear. I can’t let him stay there.
/>
“Peter Ferro, the notorious womanizer, violent fighter, and loyal friend who has helped and protected me from the moment we met. On the outside, those two other men were picture perfect, but both ended up hurting me deeply. If what you just told me is true, then you, Peter Ferro, are perfect where it counts the most, right here.” I lean in and place a kiss on his chest, over his shirt. Peter holds me there, close to his heart, inhaling sharply. I press my cheek to his chest and feel the comforting beat of his heart.
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MORE FERRO FAMILY BOOKS
Nick Ferro
~THE WEDDING CONTRACT~
Bryan Ferro
~THE PROPOSITION~
Sean Ferro
~THE ARRANGEMENT~
Peter Ferro
~DAMAGED ~
Jonathan Ferro
~STRIPPED~
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THE SECRET LIFE OF TRYSTAN SCOTT
DEMON KISSED
CHRISTMAS KISSES
SECOND CHANCES
SHADOWS OF THE PAST
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BROKEN PROMISES: A TRYSTAN SCOTT NOVEL, by H.M. Ward
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
New York Times bestselling author HM Ward continues to reign as the queen of independent publishing. She is swiftly approaching 10 MILLION copies sold, placing her among the literary titans. Articles pertaining to Ward's success have appeared in The New York Times, USA Today, and Forbes to name a few. This native New Yorker resides in Texas with her family, where she enjoys working on her next book.
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H. M. Ward, Life Before Damaged, Volume 9
(Series: Life Before Damaged (The Ferro Family) # 9)
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