“Oh, fuck,” Drew groaned as his hold around her tightened, but he didn’t move.
He laid there, remaining completely still as she ground her bottom against his erection, trying to tell herself to stop, but it felt too good to stop. Drew groaned long and loud in her ear as she continued rubbing against him, her body getting hotter with every passing second, her thoughts becoming incoherent and desperate as she reached back and grabbed onto his firm hip, trying to pull him closer, needing him closer.
Panting and licking her lips, she pushed back harder against him, trying to shift her hips so that she was lined up with the large tip of cock so that she could put herself out of her misery, but she couldn’t stop shifting against him enough to do it.
“Drew!” she cried out desperately, hoping that he understood what she needed and took over.
He moaned as he slid his hand over her soft stomach and rewarded her bare shoulder with a kiss while she continued to grind her bottom against his erection. She was so close to getting what she wanted, but in the back of her mind she wasn’t sure that this was what she needed.
This was Drew, her mate, he was different now, but part of her wondered, if he really was different or if that was a line of bullshit she was feeding herself to make what she was doing okay.
She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t rationalize between what she wanted and what she was doing. She just…she just needed this to stop, needed to figure out what was happening and make sure that this was something that she wanted and right now, she couldn’t do much more than beg Drew to stop this and she knew that he would stop it as soon as she said the words. So she took a deep breath, opened her mouth and said exactly what was on her mind.
“Drew,” she gasped, “please fuck me.”
*-*-*-*
Oh, God, she was trying to kill him, he realized as he struggled to take his next breath. He wanted to fuck her so badly, so fucking badly that he was terrified that if he didn’t pull back and push inside her soon that he might actually die.
He closed his eyes and inhaled as she continued to grind against him. That fucking scent that she was giving off was incredible and stronger than the last time. It was fucking intoxicating, making him lose his fucking mind with the need to fuck her.
“Please, Drew!” she cried, sounding like she was in pain as she pushed back harder, desperate to take him inside her.
From everything that he’d heard over the years about the first mating heat, it was supposed to be pure hell for the woman unless she was given relief. The longer she went without relief, the worse it would get and he couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to beg the man that she hated to fuck her.
He’d dreamed of this moment, had even smiled when he’d imagined her on her hands and knees, begging him ever so sweetly to fuck her and put her out of her misery, but now the thought of doing that made him want to vomit.
Clenching his jaw shut tightly and praying for strength, he let his hand on her stomach slide down between her legs. Then, breathing out a shaky breath, he slipped a finger inside her incredibly wet sheath and thought he’d fucking died and this was hell, because nothing should feel this good.
He kept his hips still, ignored the growing pain in his balls and continued to finger her, adding a second finger when she whimpered for more. She moaned his name and he couldn’t help but kiss her nape as a thank you, because he’d never heard his name said so sweetly before or with so much pleasure.
When she raised her leg to give him more access, he increased the rhythm, slammed his fingers inside her roughly and continued kissing her neck. He groaned against her skin, quickening his strokes and praying to God and everything in between that it worked before he lost control and took what he wanted.
She wouldn’t stop him. He knew that by the way that she was pushing back against him, riding his fingers and moaning his name and if that wasn’t enough, it was her sweet scent that she was giving off that told him that she wanted it, wanted more.
“Fuck!” he snarled as she ground back against his cock, making his hips jolt forward unintentionally.
Grinding his teeth together harder, he forced himself to remain still. She needed this, needed him and he would do whatever it took to keep her safe and happy even if it meant denying his own needs. When he felt her sheath tighten around his fingers and a wave of fresh arousal coat his fingers, he kissed her nape.
“That’s it, Kara. That’s it,” he whispered encouragingly, dying to feel her come around his fingers. If he couldn’t feel her come around his cock, then he was going to damn well make sure that he felt her coming around him in some fucking way.
Christ, he wished that he’d laid her on her back first so that he could fuck her with his fingers while he licked and sucked on her large breasts, seeing just how much of those generous breasts that he could take inside his mouth.
Next time, he promised himself as he tried to ignore the way her bottom rubbed against his cock, giving it the only attention that he would allow. It felt good, so fucking good, he thought as he kissed and licked her neck, savoring the feel of her tight, wet sheath gripping his fingers greedily as he imagined how good it would feel to replace his fingers with his cock.
Licking his lips, he imagined it, knowing just how good it would feel to have her squeezing his cock dry. Christ, he couldn’t wait until he was able to fuck her without guilt. He didn’t want her to need him like this. He wanted her to want him because she couldn’t stand the thought of going one more second without touching him.
He wouldn’t accept her any other way and it fucking amazed him that he wanted to wait. He’d never been a romantic in his life, and to be honest, he didn’t think he was now. Sex had always been sex, natural, a release, something he did to work off excess energy, to get off or just forget his responsibilities for a little while. Making sure it wasn’t an unmated shifter female that he was about to fuck was the only thing that had mattered to him before.
But, not now.
Now he fucking cared.
He couldn’t stomach the idea of Kara using him to scratch an itch, and yes, he realized how much of a fucking hypocrite that made him, but he didn’t fucking care.
The day that he took her was the day that she realized that she couldn’t live without him. As she screamed his name and her wet sheath tightened around his fingers like a vice, he prayed that he wouldn’t have to wait long, because he honestly didn’t think he’d survive.
Chapter 29
Breathing hard, Kara licked her lips as she lay there, too weak to move, panting hard as she listened to Drew as he ran outside and-
“Mother fucker!” came the shout accompanied by a loud splash, further surprising her.
She hated to admit this, but it also added to her humiliation. She bit her lip, trying not to cry as she continued to lay there even as immense pleasure like nothing she’d ever experienced before surged through her body, reminding her of what just happened. She’d begged him to fuck her, ground against him, screamed for him and would have done anything and everything he’d asked as long as he’d fucked her.
Instead, he’d allowed her to rub against him and fingered her when she knew that he’d wanted more. She was the only woman that he could have sex with and he’d turned her down. Now he was jumping in an ice cold lake just to make sure that he didn’t do something foolish like give in and have sex with her. The guy that never turned down sex had just turned her down and God that hurt.
Closing her eyes, she forced herself to turn over onto her side and pretend that she was asleep, praying that he left her alone so that he didn’t know just how badly his rejection hurt. So, as she listened to him splashing around in the water, cursing up a storm, she closed her eyes, told herself to stop crying and tried to fall asleep.
Unfortunately for her, she was still wide-awake and crying like a fool when he finally came back and joined her. She could only lay there, pretending to sleep while he climbed back inside the sleeping bag and wrapped an ice col
d arm around her, pulling her back against his equally cold body.
“Did I wake you?” he whispered, pressing a sweet kiss to her jawline that only went to confuse her more.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Or maybe she should be wondering what the hell was wrong with her? Maybe she wasn’t attractive enough for him or maybe he saw her as just another responsibility and wow, did that make her feel like crap. The man that she was mated to didn’t want her, because she was nothing more than a-
“Stop,” he said firmly, softening his tone with another one of those kisses that was only confusing her more.
“Stop what?” she asked, sounding pathetic and whinny and making her wish that she’d just kept her damn mouth shut and continued to pretend that she was sleeping.
“Stop whatever is going through that brain of yours that’s upsetting you, Kara,” he said with another kiss that she was really starting to like. “Just tell me why you’re so upset.”
Admit that she was humiliated, because he’d rather take a dip in an ice-cold lake than have sex with her?
No, she was good.
As though he was reading his mind, he said, “Don’t think for one second that I don’t want you, Kara.”
She refused to open her mouth and say anything else that was going to embarrass her. So, she was thankful when he did all the talking.
“I want you, Kara, always have even when you were annoying the shit out of me. I want you so much that I can’t fucking think straight when you’re around or when I simply hear your name. You’re driving me out of my fucking mind, sweetheart, and I’d do anything to be with you, but I don’t want it to be like this. I want you to want me, Kara. I don’t want you to want me only because you’re in heat.”
When she didn’t say anything, because she honestly didn’t know how to respond to that, he paused for a moment before he continued.
“I’m going to take care of you, Kara,” he said with another one of those sweet kisses that she liked so much, “but I wont take you, not like this when you’re not thinking straight.”
“When it’s time,” he continued, “you’ll tell me. Until then, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that you’re not suffering. Day or night, if you need me I will be there for you, Kara. I promise.”
Even if it killed him, hung in the air and just like that, she started to fall a little bit in love with the big jerk, because no other male, Alpha or otherwise would have been so generous, allowing himself to suffer, but making sure that she didn’t.
It was unexpected and something that she never would have thought Drew was capable of in a million years, putting someone other than his Pack’s needs first. It was definitely a different side of him, and one that had her making a decision that she hoped that she wouldn’t live to regret.
Opening her eyes, she took a slow breath, promised herself that everything was going to be okay and turned around.
*-*-*-*
“Kara?” he said, unsure of what was going on when she suddenly turned around in his arms, gently pushed him onto his back and straddled his lap.
“Shhh,” she whispered as she leaned down and kissed him softly, it was probably the sweetest kiss of his life, but it had his blood boiling and his cock hardening past the point of pain, desperate to get inside her, but he wouldn’t allow it.
He’d made her a promise and he meant to stand by it. It wasn’t a fucking line to get her to give him what he wanted. He wanted her to want him the way that he wanted her.
Desperately.
“Kara,” he said, reaching up and cupping her face so that she could look at him as he explained, “you don’t need to do this.”
When she gave him that mischievous smile that used to drive him out of his mind as she settled more firmly on his lap and let him feel just how wet she was for him, he swore that he’d lost his goddamn mind. But, when she leaned down and whispered in his ear, “I need this, Drew. I need you,” he definitely lost his fucking mind.
He used his hold on her beautiful, smiling face to bring her mouth down to his. She didn’t hesitate in kissing him back. She opened her mouth and kissed him in a way that had to have been a sin. She stroked her small tongue against his as she shifted on top of him, coating his cock in her arousal and letting him know just how badly she wanted him.