Maybe even forever.
Emily couldn’t shake the terrible feeling.
Yes, the tournament had gone perfectly. She’d played some of her best soccer ever, even scoring the winning goal for the tournament championship. She’d been giddy after the game. Then, when she saw her family and Justin’s together, it gave her a kind of premonition. As though, just maybe, the two families would be together again this way — not for soccer games, but for life.
The terrible feeling had nothing to do with her game or her guy. She was in love, and everything about Justin Baker was more wonderful than she’d ever imagined. Rather her fear came every time she looked at her mother. The feelings she’d had that night in her room and the conversation with her mother the next day only served to worsen her fears. Something was off between her parents — and she was worried. Maybe their troubles were why they’d avoided a summer wedding.
Ever since they found their way back to Fallon together, Emily believed without a doubt that her parents had worked out their differences, that the wedding plans were in full force, and that the toughest conversations between them were probably about where they’d honeymoon. Something like that.
But now, all her certainty about her parents had changed.
Her mother was quieter than usual and less affectionate around her father. She seemed distant, and no matter what Emily’s dad did to include her in the conversation, her mom acted out of sorts. As if she couldn’t quite connect with anyone.
Not even Emily.
As her parents left after the last game was over, she hugged them both, and when she was in her mother’s arms, she whispered near her ear. “Be happy, okay?”
Her mom looked into her eyes, longer than usual. “I will, Emily.” She paused. “The important thing is for you to be happy, okay?”
Now that her parents were gone, now that Emily and Justin were heading back to her residence hall in his car, she was struck by a thought. Her mother must’ve meant something by her comment. Like maybe the important thing was for Emily to be happy because she, herself, wasn’t. Was that it? And what about the other part?
I will, Emily …
Did that mean she was about to find her happiness somewhere other than with Dad? Some other way than being Dad’s wife? By the time they reached the PLU parking lot and the place where Justin always dropped her off, Emily was so tense she was sick to her stomach.
“Hey — ” he took her hand — “what’s on your mind?”
“My mom.” She looked out the window at the shadowy branches in the trees that lined the lot. “I get the feeling she and my dad aren’t happy.”
“Hmmm.” He released her hand and gently moved his to the base of her neck. He massaged her tight muscles, slow and easy. “I sort of saw that.”
“But Justin — ” she looked at him — “you don’t understand. My parents love each other so much.”
“That’s what you’ve said. You were going to share some of your mom’s journal pages about how much she loved him, remember?” His voice had a calming effect on her heart. He kept working at the knots in her neck. “I still want to see them.”
“Okay.” The thought of her mother’s journal entries restored some sense of calm to her world. Her mother might be confused, even conflicted about how her viewpoints didn’t line up with the rest of her family’s. But Emily’s parents loved each other. There was never any question about that.
Justin leaned in and kissed her.“One day, when we’re a whole lot older, we’ll be dancing at their ten-year anniversary dinner and we’ll remember this night. Because I’m going to pray every day that God works a miracle for your parents.” He kissed her again. “The way He’s worked a miracle for us.”
Emily’s fears dissolved like the tension in her muscles. “When we’re a whole lot older, huh?”
“Yep.” He pulled back and searched her eyes. “The timing’s a little unclear right now, but just for the record — ” he grinned and the sparkle in his eyes shone even in the dark — “I’m never letting you go, Miss Emily. Not ever.” He held up his pinky finger. “Pinky swear.”
She giggled. He could always make her laugh. That was one of the things she loved most about him. Before Justin, she’d been a little too serious. Now she laughed so much more easily. Even times like now, when she was worried about her parents. She clasped his little finger with hers. “Pinky swear.”
“I mean it.” He laughed as he let his head fall back against the seat. “It’s not exactly a diamond ring.” His eyes held hers. “But that’ll come in time.”
Sure, she’d just met him and they’d only been together a matter of weeks. And yes, when they talked like this, it was more silliness and flirting than anything. But somehow deep inside, Emily had no doubts. Even knowing he would return to Iraq in a month or so, she was certain Justin was right. That one day she’d wear his ring and they would dance together at her parents’ tenth wedding anniversary. God had brought her parents back together for a reason, and one day soon they’d have the answers to the questions that never quite went away.
“You know what I love about you, Emily?” Justin smoothed his hand over her dark hair and brushed his thumb along her bangs.
“What?” She wished it weren’t so late. They could hang out in the commons room, watch television, and snuggle together the way she loved. But the coach had called a meeting for the morning, and she needed to be at her best. Even if coach cancelled practice, which most of the players assumed he would do after such a sound tournament win.
Justin slipped his hand around to the back of her head and kissed her once more. “I love that it’s enough for you that we live happily right now. And the whole ever-after stuff can come later.”
Emily grinned. This time she shifted so she was closer to him, and the kiss came from her.“There’s plenty of time for ever after.” She was breathless. She needed to get inside. Otherwise the feelings he stirred in her would keep her awake all night. “And right now, nothing makes me happier than you.”
He drew her close, and she let him. But finally she pulled away. “Good-night, Justin.”
“Good-night.”
She was halfway up the outside steps when he rolled down the car window and yelled as loud as he could, “I’m crazy about you, Emily Anderson.”
At first those words had been hard for her. Love, the way she thought of love, was something her parents defined, not something she’d ever really considered for herself. But now there was no stopping her feelings, no lying to herself. Justin Baker was the most amazing guy she’d ever met. She cupped her hands around her mouth. “I’m crazy about you too!”
He stretched over to the passenger seat so she could see him better. Then he held his little finger out the window. “Pinky swear?”
She laughed but held hers out toward him in return. “Pinky swear!”
By the time she got inside and climbed into bed, her thoughts had nothing to do with her parents or her fears about their relationship. All she could think about was Justin and the way he made her laugh and love. And how, with him in her life, every day felt better than the last.
Happily, indeed.
She didn’t need a ring or a promise or a date to convince her that Justin was right for her. Neither one of them was going to walk away, not after what they’d found. They could survive however long it took.
Even if they had to wait years for the ever after.
EIGHT
Word came on a cloudy Saturday morning, the third week of August, as Justin was heading out to meet Emily. PLU’s soccer practice had been early that day, and Justin had planned a surprise for the two of them — a hike in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains east of the city.
His commanding officer saw him heading out and pulled him aside. “Lieutenant Baker, I need to speak with you.” He ushered Justin into his office and handed him a slip of paper. “You leave for Iraq Monday, September 24. You’ve been assigned to a six-month tour, shorter than before.” The man’s t
one was matter-of-fact. After all, this sort of news went out every day around the base. “I just received notice.” He paused. “I wanted you to have as much time as possible to prepare.”
“Sir, thank you, sir.” He felt the familiar thrill, the rush that in just a month or so, he’d be back on the front lines doing what he loved — wearing the army uniform and taking a stand for justice. Helping people who had no help and safeguarding American soil. He stood a little straighter. “I’ll be ready, sir.”
The man nodded. “Dismissed, soldier.”
Justin saluted as he left the office, but not until he reached his Jeep did the news actually sink in. Facts swirled in his head and made him dizzy. The most obvious was this: He and Emily would say good-bye in just one month. Four weeks to continue the crazy, wonderful, magical whirlwind that had been their lives ever since their first date. He wanted to take her to the Space Needle and Blake Island and Issaquah. He planned to walk with her along the trails of the Washington Park Arboretum and kiss her halfway down Azalea Way, the path that wound through the grounds.
All of that in just a month.
But there were other bits of information filling his mind as well. He had to be ready physically and mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There was no other way to take on a task like this. Iraq was a tough place, and he wouldn’t do the United States Army justice if he wasn’t prepared.
Then there was the fact that this tour was going to be shorter than the first. Six months instead of a year. Before meeting Emily, he would’ve wondered about that, even complained. If he wanted to be a leader one day, then he needed to spend his share of time on the front lines. That was only right.
But six months would count just fine. That, plus the year he’d already done. He’d have plenty of experience by the time he finished this next tour. Besides, he’d signed up for a year, and if that’s what they wanted, they would’ve assigned him to a full twelve months. The shorter tour could only mean one thing. God was smiling down on him, knowing that every day without Emily would feel like a month, and that half a year was probably all either one of them could take.
Justin did the math.
Six months in Iraq meant staying through the holidays and into the spring, but by the end of March he should be on his way home. With no more tours ahead of him, he could do the thing he’d wanted to do since the first time he’d taken Emily on a date.
He could ask her to marry him. It didn’t matter how fast things had moved. He was more than crazy for her; he loved her. He had no doubts. He would ask her to marry him and then maybe a year later, the summer before her senior year, they could plan on a wedding. That would give him time to get additional training and take a paid position. They could get a nice apartment and start their future together, living and loving, waking up in each other’s arms.
But the proposal would have to wait. Because though he knew how to survive with the danger, nothing was really certain until he came home. Even six months was a long time — long enough that Emily’s feelings for him could change, or he could get assigned to permanent duty overseas.
Still, the odds of either one of those things happening were slim. The possibilities came to life like so many summer wildflowers, dotting and coloring the hillside of his future in ways that took his breath. The news — knowing his departure date — would be sad for her at first. But they could stand anything for six months. He climbed into his Jeep and drove to PLU. Never mind the clouds. The future was so bright, he had to squint to look at it.
He only hoped that after hearing his news, Emily would feel the same way.
Hiking the nearby hills was the best idea Justin had come up with that week. He was never at a loss for ideas. They’d been dating steadily for more than two months, and he’d treated her to the sort of memory-making summer that seemed like something from a dream. Every day was more magical than the one before.
Justin was amazing.
Emily had known it from the beginning, when his cheeks turned red beneath Vonda’s relentless teasing. She’d known it when he took her to the small church just off the base, when she watched him hanging on every word of a message on sacrifice, and when he’d lifted his chin and closed his eyes during the praise music. And she knew it when he made a point of asking her to go every Sunday morning after that.
He’d opened up his heart and shown her the picture of a man who was as gentle as he was strong. She knew more about his background now. He and his sister were very close — though, according to Justin, they were known to have drawn-out arguments. And his entire family saw him as a hero. Not just because of his time in Iraq either.
That wasn’t all she found out. A few days after the soccer tournament, the two of them were editing news briefs in the public information office when Vonda set down her telephone receiver.
“Justin Baker, how many things are you involved with, anyway?” Her voice boomed across the office.
Emily looked up from her computer.
He made a silly face and shrugged. “Take a message, Vonda. I’ll call them back at my break.”
“The senior center, the teen center, the city-subsidized daycare center, the local grade school …” She shook her head and returned to the phone call. After she’d taken a message, she hung up the phone and did an exaggerated sigh. “Boy, you make Mother Teresa look lazy. How’ll you find time for that pretty girl of yours if you stay so busy?”
“It’s nothing.” He winked at her and then looked at Emily. His expression told her that there were things about his life she didn’t yet know. Things he wanted to share with her.
“It’s something, all right. And anyway, you don’t need involvement to keep yourself on your toes. That’s what you’ve got me for!”
Justin laughed and Emily did the same thing. But a strange and wonderful feeling spread from her heart outward. Justin volunteered his time? And how come he hadn’t talked about that before? She’d known guys in her past who bragged about the least little bit of charity or community work. Anything to look good.
Justin had done the opposite.
“Why?” she asked him later. They had taken their lunch outside to a picnic table. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Come on, Emily.” His easy laugh filled the air between them. “How would that sound? We’re just getting to know each other, and I bore you with a list of things I’m involved in?” He grinned. “Besides, the Bible says don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” His shrug seemed to dismiss whatever praise was due him. “It’s not like I’m saving the world. Just spending time with people.”
She was awed, intrigued. Over the course of lunch she found out that he spent a few hours every week or so at the Veteran’s center. If he didn’t admit to fighting with his sister every now and then, Emily would’ve been tempted to search his back for wings.
“I love Veterans.” She studied him, still trying to figure him out.
“People forget about those old folks.” His tone was nonchalant, as if every guy his age took time to visit with Veterans. He swallowed a bite of his sandwich and looked at her. “They served our country with everything they had. The World War II Vets and the Vietnam guys.” His eyes grew deeper, more serious. “The stories they tell would make you cry, Emily. How they watched friends fall and die in battle, and how they wept over having to kill the enemy.”
He was quiet for a moment, and the silence felt comfortable. Then he looked at the blue sky beyond the trees and his voice grew more intense. “The sacrifice they paid, they paid for all of us. So we can go to church and choose our careers and,” he smiled, “even so we can sit here and eat lunch together.” He looked at her. “Freedom is as basic to us as breathing.” He shrugged. “It’s easy to take for granted. I don’t know.” The sunlight caught his eyes. “I guess the least I can do is spend a little time getting to know them, letting them know that their sacrifice wasn’t in vain. That people haven’t forgotten.”
Emily could barely eat. She hadn??
?t thought guys like this existed. When her surprise let up a little, she pushed harder, asked more questions, and learned that he spent an hour every Saturday after lunch at the city’s teen center. Justin had played soccer and basketball in high school. Even though he hadn’t run with the popular jock crowd, he still knew sports and was athletic enough to jump in and play with the kids who came to the center.
“Most of them don’t have dads.” He narrowed his eyes and looked up for a minute, toward the branches of one of the big evergreens that lined the picnic area. “I can’t imagine growing up without a dad.” His eyes grew watery. “When I was in grade school, a buddy of mine had a father in prison. A real bad guy, into drugs and gang stuff.” Justin’s voice grew softer, and his expression changed as he drifted back.
“One day when my friend was twelve, he climbed on his bicycle and headed out to the prison. He wanted to talk to his dad, whatever it took. His mother wouldn’t take him, didn’t want the guy having an influence over her son. So my buddy rode off to find him on his own. Only he never made it. Got his bicycle tires stuck in a rut along some rural road and flipped his bike right in front of an oncoming bus.”
Emily gasped and put her fingers to her mouth. “That’s terrible.” When she looked up, she saw tears in Justin’s eyes.
“He never knew what hit him.” He sniffed and his voice grew more determined. “I couldn’t get over that. The boy just wanted his daddy. Wanted him so badly he would’ve done anything to get to him.” He exhaled.“A lot of the kids who enlist in the armed services were raised in single-family homes, did you know that? Either their dad was gone all the time or in prison, or divorce took him away and off to another family.”
“I didn’t know.”