Chapter Twelve
Nikki rode to school with me, snuggled up against my side, and I liked having her there.
“You know it’s actually a good thing for you I’ve been in so much trouble lately,” I said, helping her from the vehicle.
“Really? Why’s that?”
“Because you look so dang hot today, I’m totally tempted to kidnap you and go somewhere the two of us can be alone.” I touched the end of her nose with my finger. “But that would definitely get me landed into more scalding water.”
She laughed. “I figured you were probably sick of me by now. You know—staying at my house, sleeping in my bed, having to share the same bathroom.”
“Nope. All those things make me want to steal you away even worse.” She had no idea what her presence did, both calming and exciting me at the same time.
“I thought being around the little kids would’ve run you off for sure. They get so annoying sometimes.”
“I like them. I think they’re cute,” I replied, reaching to carry her books.
“Which is proof you haven’t been around them long enough.” She laced her fingers through mine.
“You know you adore them. I can tell by watching you,” I told her. “You’re a good big sister. If you don’t mind me asking, how come there is such a big age gap between all of you?”
She sighed. “Mom and Dad decided to have me not long after they got married. Dad was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years later and was sick for a while, but then he went into remission, or so we thought. It came back, and he died two years after Timmy was born. I don’t think Timmy even remembers much about him.”
I squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up a painful subject.”
“No worries. We’re learning to get by. We work together and try to stay busy filling our lives with new happy memories to go with the old ones we have of him.”
I chuckled. “My grandpa said something similar to me this morning. Are you sure you weren’t spying on us?”
She shook her head. “I’d never invade your privacy like that.”
“Really? Aren’t you the one who called my mom?” I teased.
“That was different,” Nikki said, jumping to defend her actions. “I had pertinent information she needed.”
“I’m not mad. I appreciate you trying to help out.”
“Well, you stood up for me. It’s only fair I do the same for you.”
I stopped. “Is that the reason you did it? Because it was fair?” I didn’t want her thinking I was some charity case.
“No. I did it because I like you, and I don’t want you to end up living somewhere else away from here. I was afraid if you didn’t go back to your grandparents’ house then your mom might move you again.”
Her comment struck me hard, because it made me realize how much I wanted to stay too. A couple of weeks ago, I would’ve done anything to escape this place. Now I’d do anything to stay. If I could adjust so easily to that, what else could I adjust to?
“Hey, you two,” Brett’s voice broke me from my reverie, and I turned to find him and Brittney walking behind us.
“How you doing, bro?” I asked as the four of us fell into step together. I flashed a smile over at Brittney.
“I’m good. Things go okay at home last night? I tried to call, but I couldn’t get an answer.”
“Sorry, my phone died. Things were rough, actually, but it’s nothing that can’t be worked out. So you’ve been checking up on me, huh?”
“Yeah, friends do that for each other occasionally, you know.”
It suddenly occurred to me that’s exactly what I had right here—friends—real friends who cared about what was going on with me when I wasn’t with them. It didn’t revolve around a party, or getting my next fix, or what I could do for them.
“Well, thanks for watching out for me. I’ll ask my grandpa if you can come over tomorrow night if you like. We still need to have our video game competition.”
“Sounds great,” he replied, opening the door to school. “You want to come hang with us too, Nikki?”
“I don’t know if I can. Cheer tryouts for next year start tomorrow.” She glanced at Brittney. “Both of us will be busy the rest of the week.”
“Dang! I knew I should’ve kidnapped you when I had the chance,” I whispered into her ear. “Now I’m hardly going to see you.”
“I promise I’ll try to fit you in somewhere.” She laughed.
“You better,” I replied, bending to kiss the top of her head. “Or I’ll have to come hunt you down.”
As it turned out, my predictions for spending time together became entirely too true. I rarely saw Nikki over the rest of the week between my Grandpa working me to the bone to make up for my mistake and Nikki’s demanding practice schedule. Our relationship was reduced to a few stolen kisses in the hallway between classes and late phone calls after mountains of homework to say goodnight to each other before the two of us collapsed into bed.
I was looking forward to my community service hours on Saturday, just so I could be next to her, even if it was only stapling papers. I missed her. I wanted to take her out that night, but Grandpa had designated it as the evening Brett could come over, and I didn’t want to give him the brush off again.
But it didn’t stop me from planning ahead. I’d found a sweet secluded place down by Silver Creek where the trees were big. Tall, green, natural grasses grew underneath them. It seemed like the perfect place to take Nikki for a picnic or something on a Sunday afternoon. My mind couldn’t get over how nice it would be to lie on a blanket with her in the fresh, spring air.
I smiled when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, knowing it was Nikki calling to tell me goodnight. “Hey sexy,” I answered.
She laughed. “I hope you checked to make sure it was me before you replied.”
“Nah, I know lots of sexy people. Figured it had to be one of you,” I teased.
“Oh, so you have lots of girls calling you late at night. Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, I’m saying Brett is sexy too and needs to hear it once in a while.”
She snorted, and I chuckled. “That’s such an attractive sound. Do it again.”
“Not a chance,” she replied, and I could still hear the humor in her voice.
“I wish I could see your face right now. We should download a video chat app,” I suggested.
“My cell isn’t as fancy as yours, remember? Only the bare necessities for me.”
“Man, it’s like you live in the dark ages, Nikki. How do you make it without playing video games on your phone? I’d probably go crazy on all my sports trips without something to do to pass the time.”
“Girls aren’t like that. We actually talk to each other on trips.”
“Don’t you mean gossip?” I goaded.
“Yeah, that too,” she agreed with a slight giggle.
I flopped over onto my stomach and propped up on my elbows, waving my feet in the air behind me. “So tell me some great gossip,” I said in my best feminine sounding voice. “I’m dying to hear everything you’ve been talking to people about.”
“You’re an idiot.”
I could almost see the eye roll she was giving me right now, but she was laughing, and that’s all I cared about. I loved the sound of it.
“I might be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”
“Are you?” she asked, suddenly serious.
“One hundred percent,” I replied in the same tone. There was a pause between us as the words sunk in. I spoke up before she could analyze it too much farther. “I want to take you out on Sunday around noon. Are you up for it?”
“Sure. Let me ask my mom if it’s okay.”
I waited for a few moments before she spoke again. “She wants to know what we have planned.”
“Can’t tell you. It’s a secret. If she really wants to know, then have her text me.”
“Oh, so you’ll tell her but not me?”
> “Yep. That’s how the secret thing works.”
She disappeared for a minute again. “She says I can go if I help her get the house cleaned after I get back from working at the hospital.”
“Awesome. I’ll see you there tomorrow then.”
“Great.”
“Night, sexy.”
She laughed again. “Night, stud muffin.” She hung up before I could reply.
“Having fun there?” My mom’s voice came from the doorway.
I turned to look and smiled. “I am, actually. Don’t freak out when I say this, but I think I’m starting to like living here.”
She walked in and sat next to me. “And if there wasn’t a girl involved, would you feel the same way?”
I thought about it for a second. “I think so. I’ve made a few really cool friends, and from what everyone keeps telling me, the football team seems to have a pretty good program. I’m kind of looking forward to it.”
“What about the jerk you got in the fight with? Is he still bothering you?”
“I’ve barely seen Jeremy since that day. Guess he took my warning to stay away seriously.”
“I hope so, but I would watch your back anyway. You never know what will happen with someone like that.”
“True.” The conversation dwindled off for a moment, and I wondered when mom and I had grown so far apart it became difficult to talk to one another. I didn’t like it.
“How’s work going for you?” I asked in an attempt to keep things flowing.
“Wonderfully, actually. I sold a house, so I’ll be getting a nice commission. I’ve also met some great people.” She glanced away from me nervously.
“What kind of people?” I replied, feeling suspicious as I stared. I suddenly noticed she looked very dressed up, and she had this kind of glow about her.
“Well, there’s this nice girl named Sarah who works at the office. She introduced me to her brother last week.”
She’d met a man. I felt a little sick.
“He’s so sweet,” she continued on. “His name is Greg Stanton, and he’s a local contractor here in the area. He asked me out on a date for tomorrow night.”
And there was the bomb I’d been waiting for.
“What did you say?”
“I told him yes.” She looked straight at me. “I hope it’s okay with you.”
I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped as I rolled back onto my pillow. “I don’t know how I feel about it, Mom. I mean it’s your life, and you should probably do what makes you happy, but I’m not gonna lie. It’s weird to think of you dating someone who isn’t Dad.”
She laid her palm on my leg. “It’s strange for me as well, Chase. I miss your dad a lot, but I’ve been really lonely. I know he hasn’t even been dead for a year yet, so I understand if it feels too soon for you.”
“It’s been almost eight months. Seven months and thirteen days to be exact. If you want me to get really technical, I can probably give you the hours and minutes too.”
My mom burst into tears, burying her face in her hands, and I felt like a heel. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry against my shoulder. She was sobbing uncontrollably, more than I’d ever seen her do since the day we found out he died.
“Mom. Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you so badly.” I hugged her tighter.
“I know you didn’t.” She hiccupped. “It kills me to see how badly this has destroyed your life. I’ve felt totally helpless with no idea of how to reach you. Your dad was the one who always knew you best. He’s the one I went to for advice when it came to you, and then he wasn’t there. I feel like I let you down somehow. I didn’t help you cope the way I should’ve, and so you turned to something else to try to find a way out. I’m certainly not going to be up for any parent of the year awards anytime soon.”
“Is that what you think, Mom?” I said, moving to see her better. “You didn’t make me this way. You were the stable thing in my life—the only person who was always there.”
I felt a wave of emotions roll over me, and I rapidly took a breath, trying to push them away before I continued.
“I don’t know how to talk about him without . . . without feeling like this.” I gestured between the two of us. “There came a point where all I was doing was blinking back the tears threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to feel it, so I chose the one thing I thought would help me forget—even if it was for a small while.”
She nodded, showing she understood what I was saying and pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, dabbing her eyes.
“Grandpa told me he found evidence you’re still smoking pot.”
I sighed—surprised it had taken this many days to bring up this conversation since I’d returned home. But things had been a little strained, so maybe she’d just been biding her time.
“I have once since we moved here, and I’d had a particularly rough day.” I held up my hand to stop her when she opened her mouth. “I know. That’s not an excuse. What I did was wrong, but I wanted to do it—so I did.”
She reached out and rested her hand on my knee. “Sometimes we have to learn to be bigger than what we want, son.”
“Easier said than done, Mom.” I moved away, reclining against my headboard.
“Are you going to keep using then?” she asked me point blank.
I shrugged. “Grandpa made it pretty clear if I ever did, and he found out about it, he would kick me out.”
“That doesn’t sound like much of a commitment to me.” She frowned.
“Well, I know Nikki doesn’t like it. She works for a drug abuse therapist.”
“You need to quit because you want to, Chase, not because of someone else’s opinion. Do you want to stop?”
I picked at an imaginary dust speck on my bedspread. “I want to stop hurting.”
“That’s what got you into this mess.”
“I don’t know what else I can give you right now, Mom. I’m trying, okay? I’m excited about things I haven’t even thought about in the last several months. I look forward to different things every day. I even wake up happy sometimes. Am I healing? Maybe. Only time will tell, but I’m trying. It’s all I’ve got at the moment.”
“Then that’s enough for me. Just keep thinking like that.” She hugged me, and I slipped my arms around her. She gave a quick kiss on my cheek before she stood. “I love you. Don’t forget that.”
“Love you too,” I said as she walked to the door. “Hey, Mom!” I called after her when she stepped into the hallway.
“Yes?” She reappeared with a questioning look
“This Greg guy . . . is he coming here to pick you up?”
She nodded.
“Where’s he taking you?”
She smiled and crossed her arms. “Out to dinner. Why?”
“What time will you be home?”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Don’t you even think about beginning to check up on me, young man.”
“Someone’s got to do it. It might as well be me. I need to make sure Greg knows who he’s dealing with. No one messes with my mom.”
Laughter bubbled up from inside her. “Put your swag away, Mr. Macho. I know how to handle myself without a little peon like you flitting about trying to ruffle everyone’s feathers.” She turned and walked away.
“That won’t stop me!” I shouted, chuckling as I started to get ready for bed.
“It better!” she hollered back, surprising me.
I would definitely be here to check out this Greg fellow when he showed up tomorrow. She could count on that.