Chapter Seventeen
I sent a text to Nikki telling her I was on my way over, and she was outside waiting for me on the porch swing when I pulled up. I released a big sigh, not exactly sure how to approach this subject with her. Honestly, I was feeling foolish. I’d never told any girl I loved her before, and while I was sure that’s what I was experiencing, it just seemed so sudden.
I climbed out of the truck and shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked up the sidewalk. Her pleasant expression didn’t change as I approached, and she moved to the right to make room. Shaking my head, I chose to lean against the railing across from her. She looked disappointed with my decision.
“How was practice?” she asked, breaking the awkward silence between us.
“It was good, I guess. Grandpa seems to think the coach liked what he saw.” I studied the toes of my shoes.
“You can sit by me, you know.” She patted the bench.
I denied her again. “I’m all sweaty.”
“I don’t mind.” She smiled, but it fell from her face when I didn’t move.
“Did you hear if you made the cheer squad yet?” I tried warming up with small talk.
She nodded and looked away.
“Well, are you gonna tell me what they said?” I chuckled.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked.
“What? No! Why would you think that?”
“You seem so . . . aloof.”
I dragged a hand through my hair. “I don’t mean to be. I’m . . . I’m nervous, I guess.”
“Because of the text?”
“Yes.” I was determined to muddle through this. “I’ve never told a girl I loved her before, and this time it was a complete accident. It slipped out, and I pressed send before I realized what I’d written. That’s what happens when you text while distracted, apparently.”
“Oh, I see.” She looked positively crestfallen.
“What do you see?”
“That you didn’t mean to say it.”
I sat next to her, but she wouldn’t look at me, so I lifted her chin until she had to glance at me. “No, I didn’t mean to say it you in that way—not that it wasn’t true.”
It took a few seconds for the meaning of my words to sink in, and then her mouth opened slightly.
“Oh,” she said softly. “Wait. What are you saying exactly?”
I laughed. “I’m saying I love you, Nikki. You have no idea how much you mean to me. You don’t have to reply, but I want you to know my feelings for you are real. You’ve been the greatest gift in my life—the girl I never knew I always wanted.”
She leaned toward me and brushed her lips lightly against mine before tracing the outline of my mouth. “Thank you, Chase. I love you too.”
“You’re not just saying it because I did, are you?” I couldn’t look away from her beautiful face.
“No. I mean it. But I don’t know if I would’ve ever had the courage to tell you first.”
“Well, that doesn’t matter anymore now, does it?” I slipped my arm around her waist and brought her closer, kissing her harder this time.
She slid her hands up to my cheeks, holding me there as our tongues danced together.
I groaned and moved away. “I wish I could stay longer, but I’ve got to go. All the guys are at my house waiting to have dinner.”
“And you came here first? Why? We could’ve waited to talk.”
I grinned. “I wasn’t about to leave you hanging. Besides you’re my first priority.”
“Really? I like that.” She stood and pulled me up.
“Why do you still sound surprised? I just told you I love you. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be between two people in love?”
“I’m not used to it yet.” She seemed a little shy, staring at my chest as she drew with her finger there. “Say it to me again.”
I leaned in until my lips were brushing against her earlobe. “I love you, Nikki Wagner,” I whispered. “I love you, and I want you in ways you could never imagine.”
“Oh, I can imagine plenty.” Her breathing was shallow and rapid.
I kissed her neck. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to leave the exploring of that statement to a later date.”
“Yeah, you should go.” She swallowed hard and tipped her head back even more.
I mumbled an agreement as my lips slid farther across her skin. She felt so silky and smooth, and she smelled so good.
“Chase,” she said softly, sinking her fingertips into my hair.
“Yes?” I licked her with the tip of my tongue.
I felt her tremble. “You need to go.”
“I know.” I closed my mouth over her flesh and sucked lightly.
She jumped a little. “You’re going to give me a hickey if you don’t stop.”
“I don’t care.” I’d love to see my mark on her, but I leaned away instead, seeing both desire and sorrow written on her features.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, afraid to touch her again for fear I’d be captured back into her web.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
I chuckled. “Me either. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m so glad you’re having the guys over for the evening. It’ll be fun.”
When I didn’t move, she steered me toward the steps.
“Leave,” she ordered.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And call me before you go to bed.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied again as she pushed me down the stairs to the sidewalk.
“Have a good night. I love you.”
I growled, reaching up to yank her to me. She fell against me with a laugh, and I kissed her one last time before I set her aside and spanked her on the rump.
“Quit detaining me.” I grinned.
“Whatever. Leave.” She giggled.
“You first. Go inside.”
She sighed as if she were totally put out. “Goodnight, Chase,” she called over her shoulder before she slipped into the house.
“Goodnight, my pretty girl,” I whispered even though I knew she couldn’t hear me. I turned and jogged over to my truck.
“Sorry I took so long,” I apologized when I walked inside. “It took slightly longer than I anticipated.” I glanced at the three boys who were playing my video game console.
“Yeah, it’s hard to rush when you have your tongue stuck down a girl’s throat.” Wes snickered.
“Jealous much?” I stabbed back.
“Kind of,” he replied.
“You’re not late either. The three of us ran home and showered real quick first,” Brett informed me.
“Okay, good.”
“Your grandma sent us up here. She said she’d holler when dinner was ready.”
“Awesome. Well, then I’ll go get cleaned up too.”
“Better hurry, dude. If your grandma calls while you’re in there, I’m not promising we’ll save you any. It smells like heaven down there.”
I chuckled. “Wait until you taste it.”
I left them to their game and made my way to my room, dropping my things in a pile on the floor and going to the drawer to grab some items. My attention was caught by Turk who was swimming at the edge of his bowl, facing me. I’d deluded myself into thinking this fish was my friend, loving how he always swam to the edge when I entered.
“Hey, big guy. How was your day?” I tapped lightly on the glass before I grabbed his food and dropped a few flakes in for him. “Mine was pretty good, I guess. I told Nikki I loved her today . . . in a text message.” I scrutinized him for his reaction, but he didn’t move. “I can see you’re dumbfounded. I was too for a while. I’ve got company now, though, so I’ll fill you in on all the details later. Enjoy your supper.”
The guys were missing when I returned, and I knew that could only mean one thing—dinner was on the table. I found everyone in the kitchen passing around the food and dishing it out.
“You’re right on time, Chase,” my
mom said as she glanced over to smile at our unexpected guest.
Greg. Yay. My appetite suddenly seemed a little on the iffy side.
I pulled out the only available chair—next to him of course—and started piling food onto my plate.
“So your grandpa tells me you really wowed the coach today. Good job. We need someone to try and fill those shoes Jeremy Winters is leaving behind,” Greg spoke, and I felt the heat creep up under my collar.
I didn’t miss the furtive looks that passed between the other guys.
“He’s better than Jeremy,” Brett said as he lifted a piece of steak to his mouth, and I never wanted to hug a guy so much before.
“I agree,” Chad added. “His throws are a lot straighter and much easier to catch.”
“Don’t judge until we try it under pressure.” I took a bite of mashed potatoes.
“Probably a good idea,” Grandpa agreed. “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched. That being said though, Chase did put on a good show. I’m anxious to see how things will go this season.”
“I’m assuming you’ll still be helping as the team trainer this season?” Greg directed the comment to my grandpa.
“Yes. I like putting my old corpsman training to use and taping up those injuries and stuff. Got to keep these boys healthy somehow.”
“Well, I think it’s great you’ve volunteered to do that all these years. I miss playing football, and I’d love to coach, but unfortunately my schedule doesn’t always allow that. I’m in the seats every Friday, though, ready to cheer them on.” He looked at me with a grin. “It’ll be nice to have someone in particular to yell for.”
I tried not to groan. Talk about overkill. My mom was practically glowing over his statements, and she reached over to pat his arm. I swear it was as if he’d said he discovered the cure for cancer or something.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, when she turned and threw me the stink eye for being rude and not responding. I tuned out most of the rest of the dinner conversation, contributing only when absolutely necessary.
When I was done eating, I cleared my place and went outside. I opened my truck and dug around beneath the driver’s seat until I found what I was searching for—my old football. I hadn’t touched it since the day my dad died, leaving it shoved under there since I knew we’d never throw together again. I pulled it out, almost reverently, rolling it in my hands as I gripped it.
“There you are,” Brett’s voice came from the porch. “He’s here guys.”
I shut the door and leaned against the truck as they came to join me.
“Everything okay?” Wes asked.
“Yeah. Just digging out my old ball. I thought we could toss it around together.”
“Sure,” he replied. “I have one in my truck too. Let me go get it.”
They followed me as I walked into the area between the house and the barn where the light from the two places was better. Brett stood by me, and Chad and Wes lined up across from us. We began throwing, naturally drifting farther and farther apart as much as the space would let us. I was totally lost in the ease of the repetitive motion when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to look.
Greg and my mom were standing next to his vehicle, and he had his arms wrapped around her waist. He was whispering something in her ear and she was giggling.
The football hit me square in the chest, knocking the air from my lungs with a whoosh and falling to the ground.
Chad started laughing as I bent to retrieve it. “You’re supposed to catch it,” he hollered.
I picked the ball up and walked toward him, suddenly out of the mood to throw anymore. I gestured toward the barn with a slight jerk of my head, and they joined me inside.
“You don’t like Greg much, do you?” Wes asked, not missing a thing.
I shrugged. “I’m sure he’s a great guy, but I’m not too thrilled with him sniffing around my mom.”
“Take it easy on him,” Brett said. “He’s been through a lot of heartache too. They’re probably really good for each other.”
“I don’t want to think about it.” I sounded sharper than I’d intended, and a silence followed. “Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a pain. It’s just a lot to deal with.”
“I can help you with that.” Chad pulled a small baggie out of his pocket and dangled it. “Want something to take the edge off?”
I stared at the blunt, wishing I could take it—wanting to take it. I could feel Brett’s gaze drilling a hole into me as he waited to see what I would do. “I can’t. Thanks for the offer, though.”
He put the bag away. “Whatever. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
“Still trying to stick to your grandpa’s rules?” Brett asked.
I nodded. “It makes life a little easier. Plus Nikki worries about me. She works for a substance abuse therapist.” I chuckled wryly. “That’s where I do my community service hours.”
Chad groaned. “That sucks. You sound like one of those infomercials, “I’m not only the president, I’m a client too.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re a dork.”
“Yes, I am. But I’m a dork who can get high.”
“And sell too, apparently. You’re crazy to do that. If you get caught, you’re gonna kill your college scholarship chances.”
“Guess I better not get caught then,” he replied, giving me a warning glance.
I laughed. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m on your side. Consider me the poster child for substance abuse.”
“Good. Glad we’re cool.”
I shook my head. “It’s your life. Who am I to tell you how to live it?”
If only I were so lucky.
PART TWO