Chapter Twenty
I paced in the waiting room, hanging around for someone—anyone—to tell me something. The lady sitting behind the glass at the desk eyed me again, as if she were getting annoyed. I was ready to punch my fist right through that glass if people didn’t let me know what was going on soon. I glanced at a fire extinguisher hanging on the wall. That would work too.
“Chase. Come sit down. You’re driving everyone crazy.” My mom patted the seat next to her.
“She’s in there by herself, and no one is telling us what’s going on. I told her I’d be with her.”
“She’s not alone. She got a team of people working on her. Let them do their job, son.”
“What did her mom say?” I asked, referring to her recent phone call.
“She’s getting packed up right now. I feel sorry for her. It’ll be a long drive back from Texas.”
“Did you tell her we would stay with Nikki? I don’t want her to think she’ll be abandoned.”
“I told her. She’s very appreciative and said to thank you for all your help so far.”
I snorted. “What help? This is my fault. If it weren’t for me, none of this would have happened.”
“Are you going to tell me what was going on? I thought you were safely asleep at Brett’s house.” She arched an eyebrow.
I sighed, plopping into a seat. “She was sneaking out from Tana’s to meet me at her house.”
My mom picked at some imaginary lint on her pants. “I see. How long has this been going on?”
I laughed sardonically. “It hasn’t. Tonight was going to be the first time.”
“Really?” She turned to stare now. “I have to say I find it surprising, given how close the two of you’ve been.”
I shrugged as if it were no big deal, as if I hadn’t been after her for months. “Nikki’s different. She was worth waiting for.”
My mom squinted, looking at me closely. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you? I mean really in love, not just some teenager puppy I’m-so-cool-with-my-girlfriend type of affection.”
I wiped my hand over my face before dropping it into my lap. What an awkward conversation to have with my mother.
“When did it happen?” she asked, reading my silence perfectly.
“Quite early, actually.”
“Does she know how you feel?”
“I hope so. I tell her every day.” I gave an exasperated grunt.
“And does she feel the same about you?”
“She says she does, and I believe her.”
“Have you talked about your futures together?”
I knew she was trying to distract me, but it was okay. I needed to talk to someone about her.
“A little, but not much.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“We talked about going away to the same college together. She wanted to see what scholarship offers I might get, and if she could follow me there.”
“How do you feel about that?”
I rubbed my palms on the knees of my pants and stood up. “I’m totally down with it.”
I started pacing again, unable to help myself.
“That could be hard on you—new life, new school, new girls to flirt with. They like the football players, you know? You think you could stick with her through all the attention?”
I lifted my hand in a helpless gesture before dropping it to my side. “Well, I would hope I’m not a complete jerk, since I was planning on asking her to live with me if things worked out.”
“Chase. You’re only eighteen and still a senior in high school. Don’t you feel you’re a little young to think about things like moving in with someone? Go out and live your life. Have a chance to enjoy it before you settle down.”
I turned and looked at her. “And what if I miss catching the one person who really makes me happy because I did that? I know I’m young, Mom, and I’m honestly not trying to rush. These are only a few things I’ve thought about. That being said, the girl all busted up in there makes me feel better than anything I can ever remember. She helped me get through the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, and now I’m going to do the same thing for her.” I raised my voice. “That’s if someone will tell me what’s going on, and let me in there with her!”
“If you don’t calm down, they’re going to call security and throw you out. Come on, son. Reel it in a notch.”
The doors of the emergency room opened, and a man clad in scrubs came out. “Are you the Wagners?” he asked.
“No, the Walkers.” My mom stood and shook his offered hand. “I’m Tori, and this is my son, Chase. He’s Nikki’s boyfriend. Her mom is on her way back from Texas. I told her I’d keep her informed of what’s going on. She called the hospital and gave permission for me to make any critical medical decisions on Nikki’s behalf.”
“Very good. I’m Doctor Brannen.” He gestured for us to sit together in a grouping of chairs, and I felt my pulse rate shoot up. “Nikki has some very serious injuries. I’ve looked at the results of her CAT scan, and she appears to have fractured her spine in the lower lumbar area. The spinal cord is intact, but there’s quite a bit of swelling and deformity around the area. I did an exam, and she has no sensation or feeling below her waist.”
I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my lips, lifting my trembling hand to cover my mouth.
No, no, no, this can’t be happening, the words reverberated through my mind.
“Does that mean she’s paralyzed?” My mom asked the hard question I couldn’t put a voice too.
“It could, but we won’t really know anything until the swelling goes down and relieves the pressure on the spine. We also need to operate to stabilize the vertebrae, but we won’t be able to do that either until the swelling goes down. The next few days will be very crucial to her recovery.
I stood up and walked away, suppressing the urge to vomit. How could this be happening? She was a cheerleader. She couldn’t end up paralyzed—it would devastate her. It would devastate me.
I turned around. “Can I please see her now?”
He nodded. “Yes. Once we made sure she didn’t have any internal head injuries, we gave her something to help with the pain, so she’s kind of out of it from the sedation. She has several large lacerations on the left side of her face which need to be closed. The plastic surgeon is coming in so we can get them sewn as nicely as possible for the time being, but she’ll probably have some significant scarring.”
I can live with scars, I thought. I just need her to be alive.
“So what’s the plan from here then?” my mom inquired.
“As soon as we get her stitched up, we’ll admit her to a room. We’ll be giving her heavy doses of steroids to help the swelling go down quickly so we can get her to surgery and stabilize the fracture. Hopefully it will take only a day, but maybe two depending on how she progresses. She’ll be in a lot of pain during this time, though, so she’ll be on medication for that as well. Lots of sleep is good for her right now.”
“Okay. Her mom will be able to get here before she goes into surgery then.” My mom breathed a sigh of relief as the doctor stood, and we followed him into the emergency room.
He led us through the bustling people to a large room with a sliding glass door marked as Trauma One. I felt sick all over again when I saw Nikki lying there on the backboard. She was hooked up to several monitors, and an oxygen mask was over her face. Her breathing was deep and even suggesting she was asleep, which made me feel better for her.
Most of her clothes had been cut away to reveal her body for closer examination. What was left was stiff and brown with dried blood..
My mom grabbed my hand and squeezed, tears welling up. “Oh, Chase. I’m so sorry.”
A nurse stood next to Nikki with a basin, gauze, and bottles of sterile water. “I’m Anna,” she said as she removed the block which had been keeping Nikki’s head secured to the board. “I’m getting ready to clean her up a little so the plastic
surgeon can see what he’s dealing with. Are you her family?”
“Family friends. My son is her boyfriend,” my mom explained again. “Her mom is on her way home from Texas.”
I went to the other side of the bed, slipping my hand into Nikki’s and rubbed my thumb over her skin.
“Chase,” she mumbled immediately, but her eyes stayed closed.
I leaned next to her ear. “I’m here, baby. Go to sleep and rest while you can. They’re doing their best to get you taken care of. Your mom is on her way home too. Hopefully she’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll have the doctor stitch our hands together if you’d like.”
She smiled then, not very big, but it was there nonetheless. “I love you, Chase.”
“I love you too, baby. Go back to sleep. The doctor will be here soon to take care of your face.”
She frowned a little. “Do I look bad?”
How could I answer that?
“You look like you’ve had a pretty rough night, but it’s nothing some washing and stitches won’t help. Don’t worry about any of that right now.”
She mumbled something I couldn’t understand, and she drifted off again.
“She probably won’t remember much of this later on,” Anna spoke up. “A lot of accident victims don’t remember this part. I think it’s the brain’s way of protecting itself.”
I grunted. “I wish mine would do the same. I could certainly live without remembering her like this.”
My mom patted me. “You’re doing great. This is the worst of things, honey. Things will get better from here on out.”
Unless she can never walk again, I thought. I wonder how she will feel about me then, knowing I put her in a wheelchair for the rest of her life?
I couldn’t imagine her in a situation like that. Images of the girl who’d been tossed into the air and went tumbling in flips and cartwheels across the gym floor filled my mind. This couldn’t be the same girl I’d held in my arms a few short hours ago as we swayed together on the dance floor, touching and caressing one another—the girl I should have been holding right now, wrapped together in her own bed.
I clenched my teeth, kicking myself for my selfishness. My desires had brought this tragedy.
“Would you like to sit down?” Anna gestured to a chair and a rolling stool.
“I’ll take the stool,” I said to my mom, wanting her to be more comfortable in the chair.
She pushed it over, and I sat, leaning my head on the bed near Nikki’s and my clasped hands. I didn’t know how I would ever be able to make this up, but I did know one thing—I wasn’t leaving her side until I helped her get better. If it meant I had to quit the team, school, college, whatever, I would do it. I owed it to her.
“Sounds like we’re having a hard night in here,” a new voice said, and I looked up to see another doctor in the doorway. He made his way over to Nikki, and the nurse stepped back so he could do his examination. He reached up and pulled a pair of latex gloves from a box on the wall, putting them on while he studied her.
“Nikki.” He gently shook her shoulder, trying to rouse her, and her eyes flickered open. “Hi, Nikki. I’m Dr. Patrick, the plastic surgeon on call tonight. I’m going to take a look at these cuts on your face and sew them up for you. Okay?”
“Thank you,” she whispered, sounding exhausted. “Can Chase stay with me?”
The doctor turned to me. “Are you Chase?”
I nodded.
“Do you have a problem with seeing her get stitches?”
“No. I can take it.”
“Then I guess he can stay,” Dr. Patrick replied to Nikki with a smile.
Nikki slept again, and the doctor and nurse began to set up something called a sterile field, covering her face and head until only her injuries were still exposed. They laid out several items including different needles and threads.
“She won’t feel this, will she?” I asked, not wanting her to go through any more discomfort.
“She won’t feel a thing after we numb her up,” Anna assured. “We’ll give her a local anesthesia.”
I sighed and laid my head back on the bed next to her. I was suddenly so very tired.
“Chase? Do you need to go home and get some rest?”
“No,” I said, not moving.
“She’d understand. You’ve been up all day and all night.”
“I told her I wouldn’t leave. I meant it. You can go if you would like. I’ll be okay.”
“I’ll wait with you until they get her situated in a room.”
“I’m not leaving then either,” I said, feeling a stubborn streak coming on. “I’ll sleep in a chair in her room or something.”
“They actually have a couch in the room you can lay on,” Anna spoke up.
“Perfect.”
To her credit, my mom didn’t argue with me. We sat silently watching the doctor stitch Nikki’s skin back together as the nurse assisted him. I was glad to see the gaping wounds being closed, and the shape of her face returning to somewhat normal despite the swelling and stitches. They wrapped that side of her face and the rest of her head in fresh bandages, covering her dirty matted hair beneath.
“Okay. She’s looking really good,” the doctor spoke to my mom. “She’ll have some thin scar lines when she heals, and they’ll be red at first but eventually should fade out nicely. Hopefully she’ll be able to cover it up fairly well with makeup, but if it bothers her too much we can readdress those issues if she’d like.”
“Thank you for all your help,” my mom said, shaking his hand after he removed his gloves.
“No problem. Happy to do it. They should be coming in to move her to a room soon. You all have a good night.” He smiled and left.
I marveled how this was all in a day’s work for these people. They were used to seeing this kind of thing all the time—like it was no big deal. It was a big deal to me, though, and I was going to see to it she had all the support she needed from now on.