“Is it Theo, though?” Gabriel asked. “I mean, he used to burn down sheds and shit, and then the buildings next to them would catch. He wouldn’t go into the actual building.”
“What happened?” I asked. “Did he burn a bunch of sheds in Greece? Is that why Silas and his family were in trouble?”
“It’s more than that,” Luke said. He turned the car onto the main road, and pushed the accelerator on the car. “But let’s drive around the other churches and see if there’s anything within walking distance.”
Gabriel started picking out other churches using his phone, and they never went back to explain what had happened with Theo.
The next church was occupied; there were cars in the parking lot.
We circled around it, but Luke and Gabriel was sure Theo wouldn’t start a fire in an occupied building.
We spent several hours in the car, driving between different churches.
It got darker, and then it got late. I struggled to stay awake after a while, but before long, I was stretching out in the back as Luke made wide sweeps around Silas’s neighborhood.
I was thinking about what to do if we found Theo. I meant to close my eyes for only a minute.
School Lessons
I was woken up by someone lifting me out of the car. I curled into him, smelling vanilla. I was put into a bed, and then was deeply asleep again.
I woke with the jolt of a dream that threatened to take me down. It was a rush, like I’d been holding my breath and I realized at the last minute I’d been doing so. When I started breathing again, I was so focused on the fact that I’d stopped breathing that I forgot what the dream was about. Had I really stopped breathing? Was I just startled? It was hard to focus.
I looked around and recognized I was at Nathan’s house. Nathan was nearby, dead asleep. His clock read four in the morning. It took me a moment to realize Luke and Gabriel must have brought me. They hadn’t stayed, but they might have been out still looking for Theo.
Where was Theo? Did they find him? I hadn’t realized how exhausted I’d been.
I moved slowly, trying not to wake up Nathan. I crawled out of bed. After waking up like that, I wanted to avoid sleep. I found some clothes in the closet and my phone on the nightstand and taking both, tiptoed out of the room.
I stood in the hall for a moment. The bathroom door was open. There were a few boxes of tile on the floor, waiting to be put in.
The shower wasn’t installed yet. The Academy work and school issues were slowing things like home repair down. In a way, I was grateful for things slowing it down, hoping they might change their minds about the tub.
Quietly, I shuffled through the house to the other side, and entered Nathan’s dad’s bedroom.
It was quiet and dark and I turned on the lamp near the bed. On the waterbed was a basket with towels and other bathroom items they’d moved from the destroyed bathroom. I grabbed one of the towels and tiptoed over to the second bathroom, looking in.
I drew a bath. I’d forgotten to collect a razor, and found a men’s disposable in a package. I felt guilty for borrowing it. It made me realize I might need to somehow find a way to get to the store to buy things I needed. Now that I got some money from working at the diner, I could probably get things I didn’t want to have to ask the guys for.
I spent a long time soaking in the tub, almost falling asleep again. I got out, dried off, and drained the tub. I put on a skirt, and a soft T-shirt, and then over top, I put on a thin sweater. I hovered in the bathroom for a long time, knowing it was still early and with no idea what to do.
I ended up sitting on the sofa and tapping at my cell phone. I thought about downloading a free game. I didn’t want to fall asleep again.
“Peanut?”
I sat up straight, rubbing at my eyes. They blurred from staring at the bright phone. I couldn’t exactly see where Nathan was in the darkness while my eyes adjusted, but I turned to where I thought I heard his voice. “Yeah?”
“You okay?” he asked, his voice gruff and deep. He shuffled around the couch and sat next to me. “Can’t sleep?”
“I guess not,” I said, and stretched, putting the phone in my lap.
He reached out, putting a hand on my leg, warming my thigh with his palm. He turned, picking his leg up to face me on the couch. “Come on,” he said.
I shifted a little, and with him guiding me, I ended up curled up next to him on the couch, facing him. His arm was under my head, his legs mixed up with mine. I had to put my hands on his chest. He bent his and kissed the top of my head.
He held me like that for several minutes, with his face pressed up against me, and his body entwined with mine. He had on boxers, no shirt, and his body heat amplified through me.
“Did they find Theo?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Nathan said. “He’s at home now. North’s there with Silas. They grilled him a bit, but he wouldn’t say where he’s been.”
“Do you really think he set the fires?”
“I don’t know,” Nathan said quietly. “I really hope he didn’t.”
“Everyone else seems to want to get rid of him,” I said quietly. “Why? Why are they so worried? I heard he used to burn sheds, not churches.”
He buried his face into my shoulder, his lips brushing against the corner of my neck. “It was an accident,” he said even quieter than before, almost a whisper, but his voice was so deep that it carried. “I want to believe it was.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was really bad back then, from what I’ve heard.” His palm flattened against my side, rubbing warmly as he snuggled into me. “He was mixed in with a group that used to pick on him pretty hard. He had to be what...well Silas was ten at the time, so he had to be thirteen? Maybe a little older? Anyway, kids out there are pretty tough on each other, and he was a skinny kid trying to prove himself. When he was alone, he set fires. It was like something he felt he could control. Something he knew how to do and in his own mind, he was brave enough to start.”
“And he started with sheds?”
“He set fire to their own shed and burned it down. Then he went to hide in other sheds and do the same thing. It went on for months, but his parents didn’t make the connection that it was him. The neighbors didn’t know who it was, either.”
I sighed heavily. “What changed? What happened?”
“From what I know,” Nathan said. “One day he was at a local church’s shed. This one was really close to the church. He was lighting fires, and for some reason, one of the chemicals kept in the shed had spread out, seeping to the other side of the church underneath the confession booth things.” Nathan tucked his head tighter into my shoulder and then moved like he was shaking his head. “I wasn’t even there and I can’t imagine...”
The way he’d said it had me stiffening and my heart and breath froze, almost afraid to move and hear the next part. “And it burned the church?”
“Yeah,” Nathan said. “And the priest inside the confession booth...and Theo’s and Silas’s mother.”
A shudder swept through me, and suddenly I was in Greece, trying to picture a young Silas learning this for the first time, that his brother had set a fire and had caused the death of their mother.
“He didn’t know,” Nathan said. “Theo was a messed up kid, but he never would have done that to his own mom. It took a while to sort out what happened, but it was Silas who found out it was Theo. Theo tried to kill himself two weeks later with some pills and Silas saved his life. After that, Theo confessed what happened.”
“Mr. Blackbourne went to get them because North asked him to? How did North know?”
“They’d been friends and kept in touch. Silas called him after he found out. North was in his own trouble back then. When Mr. Blackbourne found out, though, North refused any help until someone could help fix Silas. He might have been just in time, too. They were all pretty bad off, and Theo...I mean it’s fucked up. Silas was messed up bad, too. He hated everyone. He
didn’t want to move from home. He wanted Theo dead and regretted saving his life. North was the one that insisted he come over, and bring Theo and Charlie with him.”
They escaped Greece to save themselves from destroying each other, and North and Mr. Blackbourne made it all possible. I thought of the leather chair, the one that was practically brand new and Charlie’s worn down one. Those couldn’t have been brought from Greece, could they? But he had reserved a spot for his dead wife, and still occasionally sought out a hand that wasn’t there.
In addition, Silas and Charlie lived with Theo, who had killed her. They probably fought the urge to hate and blame Theo every time they talked to him. What did they have to go through in order to be able to live with each other like that?
If Theo had been messed up and setting fires, and felt so bad about what happened, was that really Theo’s fault? I suppose now I wanted to fix it. “Can’t we do something?” I asked. “Shouldn’t we help Theo somehow?”
“We’re tracking him now. We need to keep a constant visual on him. North and Silas took this night shift. Victor I think is staying behind from school today. I’ll replace him tonight. You might end up at Kota’s house.”
Slowly, I pulled myself away from Nathan. I needed to breathe and having him wrapped around me was too confining in the moment. I put my palms to my eyes, grinding out sleep and then stretched. “I should help,” I said. “And we should do something more besides babysit.”
“We’ll get someone to talk to Theo,” Nathan said. “We don’t have any proof he’s setting fires at all or doing anything wrong.” He reached out from where he lay, and pressed his palm to my back, rubbing along my spine. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you all this. You should know, though, that Theo has his reasons for being the way he is. It is very hard not to do more, but you can only help people willing to be helped. Like my dad. He’s somewhere else now because he can’t control his anger.” He sighed. “I have to watch mine, too.”
I turned slightly, looking down at him. “Yours?”
He moved to the edge of the couch and sat behind me, with his legs on either side of mine, and his arms circled around my waist. He reached up and pulled aside some of my hair and then kissed the back of my neck. It warmed me through. “I had to tell Mr. Blackbourne I kissed you. And he was asking how I felt about you. I had to tell him.”
I sucked in a breath and this time held it for so long, refusing to say anything. I didn’t want to interrupt, or say something wrong.
Nathan kissed my neck again, and then pressed his cheek against me. The rough hair along his jaw scratched, but it was a cozy sort of feeling. “Kota’s been my best friend since we were small. The others don’t feel any different to me. They’re the family that replaced my own, like for a lot of us. But a couple of weeks ago, I was really angry.”
He was talking about the time he’d confessed to wanting to leave them all. When he found out Dr. Green had kissed me, he was angry at him, and then mad about the biting from North and hickeys from Gabriel. “You’re not angry now,” I said quietly.
“No,” he said. His palm rubbed against my side again, and his arms held strong. “I’m not totally over it. Mr. Blackbourne was right: We’ve got things to do here, and I can’t leave them. I don’t really want to, anyway.”
“What do you want?” I asked.
“What do you want?” he asked. “That’s the real question. I never asked before and I should have.”
There were so many angles to that question. “I don’t want anyone to leave,” I said. “I feel like we...like I just got here. I mean, with you all. I still don’t know...”
He chuckled behind me, a rumble that shook me, too. “You don’t feel a part of this yet?”
“I didn’t know about Silas and his mom until just now. There’s a lot of you, and a lot to learn.”
His head moved against my shoulder, a nod. “And I was thinking of pulling you from the only group even I wouldn’t normally have left for anything. I shouldn’t have even thought to do it. I just couldn’t stand the thought of...” His lips twisted and then it turned into a kiss on my neck. “But what do I have to complain about? You’re here with me. Can’t worry about later. Have to focus on right now.”
“Like on Theo?” I asked. I wanted to talk more about different things, how he felt, but I sensed this was something he needed time with. Mr. Blackbourne had talked to him. That was the important part, right?
“Yeah,” he said. “We’ve got to help Silas. Then there’s this job we’re on. This homecoming week is going to be crazy. Hopefully our bomber gets caught at the dance without any issues.”
Nathan sat with me for a few minutes, but he eventually left me to take a shower. I curled up on the couch and dozed off.
Later, he shook me awake to let me know Kota was outside with the car.
“What car?” I asked before we made it outside. “Wasn’t his stolen?”
“One of North’s,” he said. “A temporary replacement. Actually, I’m hoping we don’t find Kota’s car. That old thing needed to die.”
Outside was a black four-door sedan, looking brand new. It had smooth lines and brown leather interior. Kota was in the driver’s seat waiting. Nathan opened the front passenger door for me to get in. He put himself in the back seat with our book bags.
“Keep the car, Kota,” Nathan said. He reached over, tapping at a flat screen display panel between us, pushing buttons at what seemed like random. “Kota, I’m telling you, keep the car.”
“We can’t drive this thing to the school. It’ll get broken into and stolen quicker than mine was.” Kota reached out, patting away Nathan’s hand. “Put your seatbelt on.”
Nathan pulled his hand back, grinning as he put his belt on. “They wouldn’t dare touch it. Not with the alarms on this thing.”
“We’re already in some trouble with it,” Kota said. He pulled the car out of the driveway and nodded his head to the driver in the car that was parked up the road, our escort sent from Mr. Hendricks. “They’re going to wonder where a bunch of kids came up with a car like this.”
“Then why even drive it?” Nathan asked.
“It was North’s idea, but I’m not sure I agree with it. If we make them try to figure out where we get cars from, it’ll distract them as we investigate what they’re up to.”
The idea of going back to school was daunting. For the past couple of weeks, I’d moved through school much like a zombie from one of Nathan’s horror movies: mindlessly doing what I was supposed to.
That state of mind had started after Jade had been taken out of school. I’d heard about it later, and knowing she wasn’t there was probably the only reason I even went back as soon as I did. Once I was in, I threw myself into schoolwork and doing whatever the boys asked me to do. I was excused from gym class for a couple of weeks, but this week I was supposed to return. I buried the thought, telling myself Jade was gone, reminding myself over and over.
Putting off thinking about it eased things. Keeping busy made it easy to not think of it right now.
Walking into the main hallway, though, it was impossible to forget where I was with homework or Academy work. Homecoming was this week, and there were posters and balloons hanging up all over. The hallways were crowded and students were louder than usual.
Nathan stopped on our way to the courtyard and nudged my arm. “Hey, check it out.”
I looked up and Kota turned at the same time so that we almost bumped into each other to see what Nathan was talking about.
Silas’s picture was on a poster of homecoming candidates.
I’d heard before that he was in the running, but because Silas had dismissed it, I didn’t expect a poster. I moved forward, away from the other boys, wanting a closer look.
The picture was of Silas at football practice, and then I noticed another one of him in the hallway. “Who took the pictures?” I asked.
“Probably school photographers,” Kota said. He stood beside me, close enough t
hat the material of his jacket rubbed against my arm. He adjusted his green messenger bag on his shoulder and then pointed at some of the other pictures. “See? The others are similar, either at a sport event or during school.”
“Might be yearbook pictures,” Nathan said. He ran his hand through his reddish hair and rubbed at his head. “Should we do something about it?”
“We may need to find out where the voting stands,” Kota said. “We need to be aware if he does manage to get himself elected, even if he isn’t trying.” He looked down at me. “Feel like being nosy?”
My lips parted. “What? Why?”
“You’re his girlfriend right now,” he said. “You could ask.”
“Would they let her?” Nathan asked. “They might think she’s cheating.”
Kota shrugged and turned down the hall. “Doesn’t hurt to find out. I don’t see how it’s cheating just being informed of who seems to be the most popular candidates.”
My heart started pounding very hard. I wasn’t sure what to say or who to ask. Kota seemed to have an idea though, so I followed him, weaving my way behind him through the crowded hall. Nathan shadowed me.
We ended up in a section of offices I hadn’t been in before. I wasn’t even sure what they did, but I guessed they must have been some sort of administration. The desks faced each other, with nameplates and phones that were already lighting up for the day on each.
We were standing close together just inside the door. Kota scanned the room. There was a bustle of other people around, filing in and sitting at their desks and getting ready for the day.
“Excuse me,” someone said and we all turned toward the voice, surprised to find Mr. Morris standing beside one of the desks. He wore jeans and a polo shirt and his critical eyes landed on me. “What are you doing in here? Students shouldn’t be back here.”
“Sorry,” I said quickly. He seemed to be talking directly to me so I felt obligated to respond.
“We were just looking for someone on the homecoming committee,” Kota said.