I twisted my lips, holding up a finger. Silas held up the phone while I hovered my finger over the green button. “Luke,” I said into my own phone. “Run for cover.”
“What are you doing?” Luke asked.
I pushed the green button, cringing when I did. I knew how badly it hurt and I didn’t want to do that to North, but he was acting crazy.
From my phone came a string of curses in the distance from North. Luke hollered back at him, something I couldn’t understand. Luke breathed heavily into the phone. “What did you do?”
“I zapped him back.”
“What?”
“Is he still yelling?”
“Yes,” Silas said, as he held his own phone to his ear. Silas moved to sit back in the tub, putting an arm behind me. I sat back, putting my head on his shoulder as I half listened to Luke scuffling on the phone and Silas talking to North on the other side.
“North,” Silas said, “no, she’s fine. Stop yelling at Luke. Stop yelling at me.”
“Swap phones? “ I asked him.
“Yeah,” Silas said, handing the phone off to me and taking mine.
“North?”
Heavy breathing into the phone. “What?”
I bit my lip, unsure. He did sound angry. “Are you mad at me?”
Pause. “No.”
“Are you mad at Luke?”
Another pause. “No.”
“Are you mad at Silas?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
North grunted. “He shocked me.”
“No, he didn’t. I pushed the button.”
Pause. “Oh.”
“Are you mad at me now?”
“Maybe.”
I half grinned. Maybe it did work. I looked up at Silas, watching his face as I spoke. “North?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you still like me?”
North grumbled. “Yes.” Pause. “Do you still like me?” he said in a quieter tone.
Was he trying to hide it from Luke? “Yes. Can you please stop yelling at people?”
“I guess.”
I said goodbye and hung up. Silas was already off the phone with Luke. I held the phone over to him. He took it and dropped both his and mine on a dry spot nearby. He turned around again. I put my head against his shoulder again, pulled my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs. Silas’s fingers dropped over the crook of my collarbone.
“I like my phone,” I said, “but could we not have them for a little while?”
Silas chuckled. He pressed his cheek against the top of my head. “Sorry, Aggele. All families have rules. One of ours is you have to have your phone on you all the time.”
“What’s the other rules?”
“Don’t get into trouble,” he said, and poked me in the ribs with a finger.
I grumbled, rolling my head against his shoulder. “I keep trying not to. It isn’t working.”
Silas stretched his free arm over his head, and flexed his legs in the hot tub. “Let’s just try to get through the evening without any more zapping.”
My hand absentmindedly moved to my chest, where I almost still felt the buzz of the electricity through it. I hoped North’s zap didn’t hurt him. I hated to think of how many times they were zapped or I’d done it without realizing it could hurt. Maybe it was different if it was in their pockets, but what if they were holding on to it?
We settled into a peaceful quiet, watching the game. Silas’s fingers traced along my collarbone. The football game switched into the third quarter. The tub bubbled and churned around us.
I started to get that stomach flipping feeling again. My cheeks heated up. I didn’t want to look up because I wasn’t sure I could look at Silas right now. His hand against my shoulder and my head on his arm, I stared at the game feeling highly sensitive again. The silence grew uncomfortable to me and I yearned to think of something to say that would break this feeling, but nothing sounded right and my mouth felt glued together.
The hot tub shuttered around us and the jets shut off.
Silas grunted next to me. “All right, Aggele Mou. Time to get out.”
I moaned. “Aw.”
Silas laughed, pulling himself away and standing, stretching and turned to look down at me. “You’re going to cook your insides up if you stay in too long.”
My eyes widened. Was he serious?
Silas climbed to get out. I turned, standing slowly and he reached for my hand to pull me out to stand next to him.
My head started to black out in a dizzy spell. I pushed a palm to my forehead as I wobbled on my feet. “Whoa,” I said.
“You okay?”
“Just a little dizzy,” I admitted.
“Did you eat today?”
I understood what he was asking, but I ended up simply staring at him as my brain was a big too foggy to remember at the moment.
Silas smirked at me and turned to fetch the towels. “When’s the last time you ate anything?”
“I had coffee this morning.”
“Nothing else?”
“Luke made me a sandwich at work. I’ve been busy.”
“That means it’s dinner time,” he said, tossing a towel at me. “I swear, girl, if I wasn’t standing on top of you, you’d die.”
I rolled my eyes, bending over to dry off my legs before I wrapped the towel around myself. Silas kept his eyes on me as I did, leaving me with my cheeks heated and my heart fluttered.
Complicated Dating
Silas held our phones and his keys and I hung onto his shirt as we started out. Once we were outside again and weaving our way around the ponds and crossing sidewalks, I shivered against the coolness in the air. I clutched his shirt to my body to keep the breeze off. The sudden change from the hot tub to the cooler air dazed me enough to make me feel like I was sleepwalking.
Another guy walked along the path toward us. I wasn’t paying attention to him, instead looking around at the pond we were passing. Silas moved closer beside me, taking my hand.
“Yo, Si,” the guy said, sparking me out of my daze. “That’s your girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” Silas said, his fingers tightening around my palm.
I did my best to hide my surprise. Girlfriend? Why would he care to say it to a complete stranger? We did it at school. Did it matter to do so outside of there?
“Cute,” he said, and he moved past us, the conversation dropped.
My heart was racing. Silas didn’t say anything about it. He stared ahead, leading the way back to his apartment. My lips felt glued shut and I couldn’t formulate the question to ask. Did he say it just to end the conversation quickly? Was he trying to imply that he considered me his girlfriend?
Would he take my silence as a sign I was interested and didn’t mind being considered his girlfriend even outside school?
The questions hovered around my head like the gentle breeze that followed us back to his apartment. He opened the door, and I shivered against the blast of cool air. His air conditioner was running full blast.
“Do you want to go shower?” Silas asked, closing the door behind us. “I’ll take care of dinner.”
“You’re going to cook?”
He flashed a grin. “Something like that.” He led the way down the hall and stopped, opening a door and stepping inside.
It was the bedroom I’d glimpsed at earlier. There were a couple of baseball posters on the wall. Sporting equipment leaned against a corner, along with baseball bats of various types, a couple of gloves and other gear. There was a computer desk with a closed laptop, a tool belt sitting on top of it.
Most of the room was taken up by a massive bed, bigger than I’ve ever seen in person. It was square, with a tall, wood headboard and matching footboard. The bed was unmade, revealing cream cotton sheets and a thin dark blue blanket draped over, half hanging on the floor. A single thin pillow sat in the middle. There was another flat screen television hanging on the wall opposite the bed.
Si
las dropped his towel on the chair by the desk, putting his keys down by the laptop. He turned to me, and I pulled myself away from staring around his room to scoop up my book bag. Would I sleep in the bed? Would his parents understand if there was a girl sleeping in his room? I knew it was unusual, and in the moment, there wasn’t a reason for us to sleep in the same room at all, as most parents would probably not allow their teenage kids to sleep together.
And where were his parents? It was a Saturday evening. Were they working? Was Silas going to make dinner for them?
Silas motioned me out of his room. He led the way a little further down the hallway and opened another door, revealing a bigger bathroom. This one had similar beige tiles to the kitchen. A shower tub was tucked into a nook.
“There’s towels in the closet,” he said. He looked down at me. “Do you need anything?”
I stared off into the bathroom, feeling chilled and a little dazed. I was a little worn out. Maybe I did need food. “Nope,” I said, putting my bag down on top of the splotchy brown marble counter.
His smile lingered on me. I felt my eyebrow going up, looking confusedly at him, unsure what he was thinking. He opened his arms up, beckoning to me. “Come here.”
I stepped close, my arms lifted. He pulled me up, lifting me by the thighs as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He kept an arm under my butt to hold me against him, his hand spread against my back. My own hands grasped the back of his neck, my fingers trailing through his smooth black hair. His bare chest pressed against me. I loved Silas’s hugs.
He tucked his nose into my neck, inhaling. “Don’t keep looking like that, Aggele.”
“Like what?”
His lips moved against my skin. “Like you’re scared. Like when I first met you.”
“I’m not scared.”
“I hope not.” He pulled back. I relaxed my arms and slid down. He held onto me until my feet touched the floor. He inched back, his arm moving to lean on the wall behind me and above my head as he hovered over me. “Trust me?”
I tried to warm my smile. “Yes.”
He smiled back, his eyes lighting up. “Take your shower. I’ll make dinner.”
My heart started to thud at the mention of a shower, but I swallowed it back so he wouldn’t think it was because of him. “What are you making?”
“You’ll see.” He shut the door.
I waited until I heard his footsteps disappear down the hall and then flicked the lock, testing the handle to make sure it worked. I didn’t think he’d walk in on me, not unless I called to him. After the other guys walked in on me before, though, I just wanted to be sure this time.
I stood shivering on the tiles as a cold rush of air swept down on me from the vent above. I hurried over to the tub. I wondered if he could hear if I bathed instead of showered. The thought of a shower sent a wave of nausea through me that told me I wouldn’t be able to do it, despite it being a different place. I knew rationally that a shower wouldn’t kill me, but even the thought of taking one, or running the water through the shower fixture was too much.
I pulled back the shower curtain and studied the bronze fixtures against the light cream tiles. It was a single knob, with arrows pointing different ways but it was unclear how to turn it on and adjust the temperature. It took some fiddling to determine which way was the warm water and I couldn’t figure out how to plug the tub to fill it. There wasn’t a lever on top of the faucet like in my own bathroom, and when I pressed on the surface of the stopper, it wouldn’t budge.
I sighed, giving up. I stripped down, picking up my soggy clothes to put on the side of the tub so they wouldn’t wet the floor too much. I stepped into the bath and cupped the water between my hands, tossing it around my body to warm it up and rinse off the chlorine I smelled in my skin. I had to bend over far to wash my hair, and I wasn’t sure I managed to get all the suds out. I shaved my legs and underarms, too, just to give myself something to do. The time alone in Silas’s bathroom gave me an opportunity to process where I was.
Excitement grew in me again like when I first learned we were going to sleep here tonight. I was at Silas’s!
When I was out of the tub and dressed in pink shorts and a button up blouse I’d meant to wear the next day, I brushed my wet hair back, twisting it into a bun and clipping it to my head. Stray locks fell out, framing my face. I tucked them back behind my ears the best I could, but Gabriel’s haircut barely allowed this, so two locks hung on either side of my face. I replaced the perfume on my wrists and neck.
I checked my phone. No new messages.
Before I could put it away, the phone vibrated in my hands. I placed it on the counter quickly, as though it could shock me like Silas’s had. I knew it couldn’t, but it was just the sudden moment and the idea that the boys could make it do so.
I checked the screen.
Nathan: You doing okay, Peanut?
Nathan was checking in? I had just seen him a little while ago. I picked up the phone to text him back.
Sang: I’m fine. How are you?
Maybe it was simple, but I didn’t know what else to add.
The phone buzzed immediately.
Nathan: Fine. Just thinking about you.
My cheeks heated, and my heart did a flip. I wanted to say something similar, something that told him I did miss him when he wasn’t around. I just didn’t want to say anything too strong, as like the other guys, he might want to come over or have me come see him, and he was working.
Sang: I’ll see you tomorrow?
Nathan: You should. Maybe tomorrow night, we’ll watch that new movie I was telling you about.
Sang: Okay.
That was all I could think to say, a promise that sometime we’d be together again. Was it enough to let him know what I was really thinking? That as much as I enjoyed being around Silas, when I wasn’t around the others, I felt each of them was missing in a way.
I hesitated, because I wanted to reach out again. I thought about Mr. Blackbourne, who invited me to text or call when I wanted, not only about the Academy. I opened a text message, intending to write to him, only I couldn’t think of what to say. I was compelled to say something, anything. I don’t know why, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to reach out to him in a way I hadn’t done so before. I didn’t want too much time to pass before I did.
In a way, too, I was worried. After earlier today with Mr. Hendricks, I felt like Mr. Blackbourne was the one that was targeted. It was like if I kept in touch with him, I’d feel he was safe.
I sat on the counter and typed quickly.
Sang: Are you busy?
It was the only thing I could think to ask. It felt easier to text than to call him. I feared I’d hesitate to speak or stumble on the line and he’d think it a waste of time.
A message came back almost immediately.
Mr. Blackbourne: I’m not busy. Did you need something?
I hesitated again, as I still didn’t have anything to say, and the only questions that felt safe to ask were about the Academy.
I sucked in a breath, trying to think of something to talk about that he’d want to hear.
And then I stopped that train of thought. Maybe that was the problem.
What did I want to talk to him about?
I went through a number of questions: favorite color, what he was thinking, where his house was, trying to find one that didn’t feel too awkward. I couldn’t figure out where to start.
Before I could come up with something, the phone buzzed to life in my hands.
Mr. Blackbourne: Will you be joining us tomorrow? I think it’s time we found something appropriate for you to wear for the homecoming dance. Your favorite color is pink, isn’t it?
My heart leapt and I jumped from foot to foot, trying to release the sudden surge of excitement. The way he asked me set off so many more questions. He’d be there personally? Would I have to pick out a dress? He knew my favorite color? What about all those security issues?
&nbs
p; I couldn’t mention the security, so I had to leave that part and other Academy questions out.
Sang: Yes, I like pink. I didn’t realize I’d be going.
Mr. Blackbourne: You’ll go. You should probably attend with Silas, or would you prefer to go with someone else?
My heart started to settle. If Silas and I were dating, I should technically go with him to a school event. Would all the other boys go, too? He wanted to know my preference.
Sang: It is probably best I attend with Silas, isn’t it?
Mr. Blackbourne: If you want to change that dynamic, I’ll make the arrangements.
A little bit of the fluttering returned. It sounded more like he was wondering what my choice would be if I could pick. I didn’t know how to respond.
Sang: They’ll all be going, won’t they?
Mr. Blackbourne: They should all be there.
Sang: Do they have homecoming at...
I couldn’t finish that sentence but I hoped he understood I wasn’t trying to divulge any Academy secrets. It was the more I learned about it, the more I understood the Academy wasn’t just any school, but how far did that go?
Mr. Blackbourne: That’s a good point. I’ll have to make sure they have a proper experience. We should all attend.
Did they not have a traditional homecoming? Nathan and the others had seemed interested in participating in certain school events, even if we didn’t have the time to fully appreciate everything. Even if the school was dangerous, things like football games and clubs and dances were still held. It made me wonder if the Academy was so great, how come they didn’t have something that seemed so normal as a homecoming game and dance?
Sang: It sounds like fun.
Mr. Blackbourne: I’ll make the arrangements.
Sang: Thank you.
Mr. Blackbourne: Thank you.
I held onto the phone, waiting to see if he’d say anything else, but there was nothing. When enough time stretched out that I didn’t think he’d respond at all, I put the phone away.