Without a second look in our direction, he turned and walked away. I wanted to say something smart to him, tell him that he could do more if he really wanted to. He could throw his support behind the rebels, declare for the colonies.
But that wasn't important now. He was an adult, and he'd make his own decisions. Getting out of here safely needed to be my top priority.
“Alize, Celina, get essentials only. Gracen, you and I need to do the same.”
The others nodded and quickly moved to do as I said. I grabbed the first dress I could and pulled it on. My stiffened muscles started to loosen as I moved, and while the compresses Celina made with herbs and cool water were helping other areas heal, I still wouldn’t be ready for anything too strenuous for at least a couple days.
I pushed through the pain and focused on choosing what I needed the most, and doing so quickly. At least one good thing about having come into the past with literally only the clothes on my back, I didn't have any keepsakes to weigh me down.
“I'm ready,” I said as I finished tying my shoe. “Now we just need to figure out where the four of us can go.”
“We cannot go with you,” Alize said as she walked into the room. “When we all leave together, they will look for a group of four traveling together. Instead, we must leave two trails, so they will not know which to follow.”
“It isn't safe for two women to travel alone,” I protested.
“We are not the ones being hunted,” she reminded me. “Celina and I will make our way West, always staying in a group so no one will know we are alone.”
“And we will go to Washington,” Gracen said, glancing at me. “Let him decide where we are needed.”
I knew what he was thinking, and I agreed. We could join the army now, offer our services as soldier and nurse, lose ourselves in the war as we healed. They were in New York City now, which meant we had a long way to go, but it was the right move.
None of us wanted to go separate ways, but I knew Alize was right. They had to go on their own. There was nothing else we could do for them, and the four of us traveling together would be more conspicuous. Splitting up was the smartest strategy.
Gracen turned to Alize. “Go to my desk. In the top drawer are two bags. Get them for me, please.”
Alize nodded and moved across the room.
“We need to get a carriage.”
“No.” I shook my head. “If Quincy wants to chase us, that will make it too easy.”
“You cannot go far on foot,” Gracen insisted.
“It won’t be fun,” I agreed. “But we can focus on being careful rather than going fast, and that I can do.”
Alize handed both bags to Gracen, and he opened one. Glancing inside he closed it again and handed it to Alize.
“Your father set aside some of his gold and jewels to be used for room and board. Use it wisely.” He put the other bag in his jacket pocket. “Keep yourselves safe.”
Alize grabbed Celina's hand. “We will. You do the same.”
“If you need us,” I said, “send a letter to George Washington's camp. That's where Gracen and I are going.”
“We will send word as soon as we are safe,” Celina promised.
“Agreed,” Gracen said.
I looked at my husband. “We need to go. Now.”
We exchanged hugs that were far too quick for all that we had been through together, but taking any longer would be dangerous. It was time for us to move on.
Chapter 19
We didn't talk much as we picked our way across the countryside. We were counting on Quincy believing that Gracen and I would be unaccustomed to traveling rough, and that would make him focus on roads. Celina and Alize went to the city, where they would be able to make the necessary arrangements to travel West. We were hoping Quincy would assume we either went with the girls to Boston in the hopes of booking passage back to France or that we'd take the most direct route to New York.
Which was why Gracen and I were going a more roundabout way. We'd eventually make it to the Continental Army, but we didn't have speed or stamina on our side. Even if I was fully recovered, the two of us were on foot while Quincy would have a horse. We never could have outrun him, so we needed to outsmart him. And since, thanks to my brother, I knew that Washington was on Long Island.
We started at a brisk pace, wanting to put as much distance between us and the Redcoats as possible. If Quincy hadn't come alone to make the arrest, he could have enough people to spread out in each direction. We didn't stop to make camp until well after the moon had risen and the stars had come out, and even then, there was little talking. We didn't dare light a fire, and while the summer nights were cooler than they had been only a few weeks ago, we didn't need the heat.
The next morning, over our meager breakfast of bread and cheese, I finally spoke. “Do you think Alize and Celina made it to the city all right?”
“I do,” Gracen replied. “They complement each other. Alize's confidence and Celina's knowledge of how to survive will serve them well.”
Though his words didn’t completely erase my concerns, I did feel better knowing that he felt the same way I did about the couple. I only hoped Alexandre would understand that we were doing the best we could under the circumstances. I still wished he would have come with us. I would've felt a lot better if I'd known the girls were with him.
“Stop worrying. They are safe, and we will be with Washington within the week.” Gracen knelt in front of me, his smile sad. “It will all work out, my love. We must have faith.”
“Do you think Washington will allow me to serve as a medic even though I’m not a man?”
We'd been traveling for three days when I asked the question. I didn't want to disguise myself as a man, but if it was the only way I'd be allowed to stay with the army, I'd do it. I preferred, though, to remain myself, if only because it would mean Gracen and I wouldn't have to pretend to not be married. I could only imagine what would happen if the two of us were caught in some sort of physical encounter when I was supposed to be a guy. At the very least, we'd end up facing disciplinary action, even after my true gender was revealed.
Which meant I was willing to put up with the dresses and the men ignoring my opinions if Gracen and I could stay together and not have to hide who we were to each other. With everything we'd been through, I needed him to be close.
“After everything you have done for the cause, I believe he would give you the opportunity to prove yourself, which you, of course, would do.”
I hoped he was right.
A few minutes of silence elapsed as we set up camp for the night. The weather was still warm enough that we didn't need a fire, so there wasn't much to do, but we still had to be careful. As I was double-checking to make sure we would be completely hidden in this little ring of trees, a thought hit me, and I laughed.
“Looks like you’ll be a soldier after all,” I said.
Gracen shot me a confused look. “What?”
I sat down next to a tall pine and leaned back against the trunk. “Your father wanted you to join the army, and now you are. A different side, but still the army.”
“I do not believe my father would agree that it is the same.”
Unfortunately, I knew he was right. Roston wouldn't have agreed.
He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him. I leaned into him and let myself relax. We might've been on the run, but as long as I was with him, I was home. The exhaustion of the past few days caught up with me quickly, and even though I could hear Gracen talking to me, sleep came right away.
I could still remember how I felt when I arrived home after my first deployment, and it felt an awful lot like that when Gracen and I finally reached Washington's camp. It was strange how much like home it felt even though more than two centuries separated this army from the one I served with. To know that we were surrounded by those who believed as we did, no pretense or charade to maintain, it was a relief almost as great as n
ot skulking through the Massachusetts wilderness.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood,” Washington said, coming out of his tent to meet us. “Welcome.”
Gracen and Washington shook hands, and then the general turned to me, hand extended.
“Please, come in.” He motioned to his tent.
I glanced around as we entered, noting how much more haphazard things looked than the last time I talked to Washington. Today was the last day of August, which meant the army had arrived here only a couple of days ago. They'd had to evacuate Long Island, and I knew the retreat had to be demoralizing.
“I must admit,” Washington said, “I am surprised to see you both. I believed we would only be communicating via an aide when you had information from your French contact.”
“That was our original intention,” Gracen said. “But due to some unforeseen circumstances, things have changed. I am now prepared to enlist as a soldier, and Honor would like to offer her services as well.”
“Unforeseen circumstances?”
“Redcoat Corporal Quincy Axe was coming to arrest us for treason,” I said. “We needed to get out of there, and we figured this would be the best place for us.”
Washington sat back, crossing his legs, and surveying us with keen eyes. He slowly nodded. “Your knowledge of the workings of the other side will be valuable on the battlefield as much as it was in the area of diplomacy, Mr. Lightwood. I will speak to my commanders, see where you can be used best.”
“I am much obliged to you, Sir.”
“Now, for Mrs. Lightwood...”
Right, time for Mrs. Lightwood to think up a way to convince the leader of the Continental Army that I would be of use as a medic. Or at least something similar.
“I want to offer my medical services.”
Washington’s eyebrows shot up. “Medical services? We are not in need of a midwife.”
“My father was a doctor,” I lied. Gracen and I had come up with the backstory on our way here. I didn't like it, but it was the best way we'd been able to come up with since the truth wasn't possible. “My brother was more interested in farming, and my father needed someone to help at his practice, so he let me go with him.”
Washington took his time considering the proposition, but I found the fact that he didn’t instantly reject the offer encouraging.
“We are in need of doctors and nurses,” he said. “My only concern...”
“Is how the men will react,” I finished.
Washington tilted his head. “I had intended to say how you would react. Being a doctor in a town practice is much different than facing the things that men do to each other in war.”
“I can handle it,” I said firmly. “I've seen enough.”
His gaze was sharp, scrutinizing. Whatever he saw, he must've liked because he nodded. “Men with medical experience are always in demand, and I believe it would be irresponsible of me to dismiss you when the cause needs every person we can get.” He stood. “We would be fortunate to have you.”
I stood and shook the hand Washington extended to me.
“Now, I cannot make any promises regarding the conditions we will be subject to in the coming months,” he continued. “Since you found us here, I assume you understand that our position is a precarious one.”
More than he knew. In a month and a half, we'd lose the city to the British. This year would be the infamous crossing of the Delaware, followed by the Battle of Trenton.
We'd picked a hell of a time to show up.
“I can handle it,” I assured him.
“I cannot offer any luxuries,” he said. “But you may use the storage tent. We are low enough that there will be room for you both.” He gave us a tight smile, the kind that said he had a lot on his mind. “As a matter of fact, I shall put you two in charge of guarding supplies at night.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Gracen said as he slid his arm around my waist.
“Private,” Washington called to the young man standing just outside the tent. “Show the Lightwoods to the supply tent.”
Only a few feet away from Washington's tent was a virtually identical one. Close to the same size and shape, it had been put up in just as much of a hurry as the commander's. The inside was more crowded, boxes stacked haphazardly, without any order I could see. There was no furniture of any kind, but I didn't mind that much. The ground was dry and grassy, and the tent provided shelter. That was enough for me.
Over the next couple hours, Gracen and I got to know our surroundings. We ate – army food in the past wasn't any better than it had been in my present – and then I went to check out the medical tent while Gracen found us something to sleep on. By the time I returned to the tent, he was there with a bedroll spread out behind some of the boxes. We'd be able to hear if anyone came in, but it gave us a bit of privacy.
After having slept on the ground with nothing but the layers of my dress for nearly two weeks, the bedroll was almost luxurious. I sighed as I stretched out next to Gracen, grateful to be back to just my undershirt. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back against him. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his tension.
“I never wanted this,” he said softly.
“Never wanted what?”
He brushed some hair away from my face, his thumb running along my cheekbone. “I never wanted this life for you, never having anywhere to call home, a place you felt safe. You deserve a place to call your own.”
I turned my head to look up at him. “You're my own. My home.”
His eyes glistened. “If only I had taken better care of you, perhaps our son–”
“Stop,” I said, pressing my fingers to his mouth. “There was nothing you could have done to change what happened. It's not your fault.”
“But–”
I shook my head. I couldn't let him blame himself for something that I caused. “If anyone's at fault, it's me.”
“No, my love.” He shifted us so that he was leaning over me.
“I came back through time,” I said. “I'm not supposed to be here. We were never supposed to meet, to fall in love. What if fate or time or whatever brought me here decided that it had made a mistake, and it needed to...fix it?”
He caught my mouth in a firm kiss. “I do not believe that.”
“Gracen–”
It was his turn to interrupt me.
“You were brought here for me.” His tone held no embarrassment, no teasing. He clearly meant every word. “We were meant to be together, you and I. That is why you are here. Not a mistake. Not chance. For me.”
He kissed me again, this time harder and deeper. His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place as he pressed his body against mine. I wrapped my arms around him, teeth scraping against his bottom lip.
“You are mine, Honor Lightwood.” His voice was fierce. “Mine.”
“Always.”
Chapter 20
History was a funny thing. The more time that passed, the more that was forgotten. The dates that were remembered depended on the impact we could see in hindsight. The assassination of an archduke starts a world war, while a US president dying only a few months into his term becomes a brief mention.
I knew that the next big battle wasn't until December, but I hadn't taken into account that there might have been little skirmishes that hadn't made it into the books. The weeks that followed our arrival hadn't been action-packed, but there was enough fighting to give me the chance to prove my medical skills to Washington, as well as the rest of the army.
While I didn't like seeing the men hurt, I couldn't deny that I liked staying busy. Washington had enlisted Gracen, but not as a typical soldier. Instead, Gracen was serving as something like an aide and an advisor rolled into one. I didn't doubt that when it came to the big fights, he'd be out in the thick of it, but at least for now, he was safe in camp.
Or, at least, as safe as anyone could be.
When the news came in near the end of September, we got an idea of just how safe that was. r />
It was all over camp even though it had only happened three days ago. A man named Nathan Hale had been arrested and executed as a spy. That was a name from history I definitely knew. And while it seemed like few, if any, of the men had known Hale personally, they all understood what he had been doing for the cause.
Gracen and I, however, understood it from an entirely different point of view. Intellectually, I understood the danger we'd faced when we were passing information to Washington, but hearing about Hale all made it more real somehow. And it made me realize something else that went with that danger.
I leaned against a crate of supplies, watching Gracen shave. “I’ve decided something.”
He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow.
“We need to write down what I know.”
Gracen’s forehead furrowed. “What you know?”
“About the future,” I said, lowering my voice.
“Why should we write it down when we no longer need to correspond with Washington by letter? We can simply tell him what he needs to know to keep history on track. It is surely safer that way.”
“And what if something happens to me?”
The silence that followed my statement spoke volumes. Gracen finished shaving and then came to where I was sitting. He held out a hand, and I took it, letting him pull me to my feet. I was confused as he led me out of the tent and through the camp, but I didn't say anything. He hadn't answered my question, but maybe he thought even the privacy of our tent wasn't private enough for our discussion.
He smiled at the soldier on sentry duty as we passed, moving us into the forest until the sounds of the camp faded behind us. When we finally stopped, I turned toward him, ready to continue our conversation.
Instead, I found myself being pushed back against a tree, Gracen's mouth hot against mine. I made a noise of surprise, but I wasn't about to argue, not when he was kissing me in that way that made my toes curl.
I wrapped my arms around him, determined to enjoy our brief privacy before we had to return to the real world. His hands were eager and sure as he pulled up my skirt, and my arousal went from a spark to a flame instantly. We hadn't had sex since before we lost the baby, in part because I needed the time to physically recover, and then because we hadn't had time I'd felt comfortable enough to initiate something so intimate.