“I told you I would be here for you, Shae, be anything for you, and I meant it.” His voice was soft. “I’m not asking you for anything.”
“Then what the hell was that all about?” I asked.
He reached out with his free hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry. Don’t even worry about it.”
“But I do worry,” I said. I put my hand on his cheek. “I don’t know what this is between us, but I’m not using you, Jasper.” I leaned forward to press my lips against his. It was a chaste kiss, but a firm one. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I don’t sleep with people just because they’re nice to me.”
That got a hint of a smile. “That’s good to know.”
“What about you?” I asked, my thumb teasing at the corner of his mouth.
“What about me?”
“Should I be worried that you’re using me?”
The look of horror on his face would’ve made me laugh if the air between us hadn’t been so thick with tension.
His expression softened as he released my wrist and used both of his hands to cup my face. “Shae, I could never do that to you.” His eyes met mine. “I swear, I will never ask for anything you aren’t willing to give.”
My stomach tightened. I’d been honest when I told Jasper that I didn’t know what we were, but I did know one thing for sure.
I wanted him.
Now.
Chapter 6
I’d been to Jasper’s house a couple times before, but always with Allen. Most of our time together had been spent at the vineyard, but every once in a while we’d come to the little place that Jasper had bought for himself when he’d started working with his father.
It felt different this time as Jasper held the door open for me.
I’d always liked his house. It was a fraction of the size of the vineyard, with everything on one floor and a decent-sized yard. Two bedrooms, a single bath, a nice kitchen and a living room big enough to have some friends over. It didn’t look like a typical bachelor pad, but it wasn’t overly decorated either. Jasper’s tastes were simple and nice. I’d always felt at home here.
I didn’t pay attention to any of that as I kicked off my shoes the instant I crossed the doorway. The only thing I cared about was the man standing in front of me and getting us both naked as quickly as possible.
We were a tangle of limbs and clothing, of teeth and tongues, not wanting to stop touching each other even just to undress. Somehow, we managed to get back to his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind us. When Jasper finally pulled his mouth away, we were both gasping for air and completely naked.
His eyes ran over me, making my already overheated skin burn even hotter. I watched him watching me, his face an open book to everything he was feeling.
Desire.
Lust.
Awe.
And something deeper that told me he cared about me more than I’d realized.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His voice was rough.
“So are you.” I did my own perusal, letting my gaze run across his handsome face to his broad shoulders. Down his muscular torso to his narrow waist. My eyes followed the thin trail of dark curls from his bellybutton to where his cock was waiting, thick and hard.
My stomach tightened and I reached out, giving him a gentle shove back towards the bed. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he let me push him onto the bed. I climbed up next to him, settling on my knees next to his waist. He moaned when my fingers closed around his dick and I smiled. I loved that I could make this strong, gorgeous man make those kinds of sounds.
The skin was so soft, the rest of him impossibly hard. If I’d been in the mood for something slow and drawn out, I would’ve spent as much time as possible exploring every inch of his body, but I didn’t want slow right now. Maybe later. What I did want, however, was to taste him.
I gripped the base of him and ran my tongue up his shaft. He swore as I licked him, tasted him, felt every inch of him pulsing against my tongue. He was so different than Allen and I wasn’t sure why that surprised me. He’d felt different inside me and now I could taste it as well. Not better. Not worse. Just different.
“Shae...” My name was barely a whisper.
I leaned down, my hair brushing against his thighs as I took him into my mouth. He made a half-strangled sound and I saw his hand fist against his thigh. I let more of him inside and used my hand around the thickest part of him, knowing I’d never be able to take him all. His hips jerked slightly and I knew he was fighting the urge to move, to thrust deep into my mouth.
Something low and primal inside me throbbed at the thought of him doing just that, of him using my mouth for his own pleasure, but again, that was something that was going to have to wait. As much as I was enjoying the sensation of him sliding over my tongue, enjoying the sounds he was making, I wanted him inside me more.
I needed him inside me.
I raised my head, my eyes meeting his as the last inch slipped from between my lips. Keeping our gazes locked, I swung one leg over him so that I was straddling his waist, his cock between my thighs.
I put one hand on his stomach, smiling at the way the muscles twitched beneath my palms. The other hand reached beneath me to hold him steady as I lowered myself onto him. His hands went to my hips, fingers digging into the flesh as I took the first inch of him inside me.
My eyelids fluttered even at the slight stretch. The other two times we’d done this, he’d used his fingers and mouth on me until I came, allowing him relatively easy passage. This time, however, I was wet, but not prepared any other way.
This was going to be intense.
I put both hands on his stomach and let myself slide down until I was resting on his lap.
“Fuck,” I whispered as I squeezed my eyes shut. Every muscle in my body was trembling as if he wasn’t simply stretching me, filling me, in one place, but in every cell.
I’d never felt anything like it, not even with Allen. He’d always treated me like something precious. Like I’d break if he wasn’t careful. Now, I felt like I was going to shatter with the slightest touch, but I wanted more, wanted to move.
I shifted my weight, drawing a groan from Jasper. My own moan joined his as his cock rubbed against my walls, sending a new ripple of sensation through me. I opened my eyes and found Jasper watching me, the intensity of his gaze sending a shiver through me.
I lifted myself up until just the tip of him was still inside and then dropped down, sending a burst of almost painful pleasure through me as he went deeper than before. One of the hands on my hip moved up to my breast, squeezing for a moment before his fingers started manipulating my nipple, pulling and rolling even as I repeated my rise and fall.
Neither one of us spoke as I rode him. Only the sounds of flesh against flesh mingled with our harsh breathing. I could feel the pressure inside me building, but just before I reached it, he sat up, his mouth immediately covering mine. One arm slid around my waist, holding me in place as he began to move us both. I whimpered as his tongue delved into my mouth, sliding against mine. The base of his cock was rubbing directly on my clit now and every shallow thrust created new, wonderful friction.
His lips moved across my jaw, teeth scraping against my skin before his tongue soothed it. He leaned me back, his arm stretched along my spine. He fastened his lips around one hard nipple. The suction was immediate and hard, sending a jolt of near-pain straight down. Then his teeth began to worry the sensitive flesh and I squirmed, wanting the sweet torture to stop. To never stop.
I gasped his name, digging my nails into his shoulders as he bit down. My entire body tensed, trapping him inside me even as my pussy squeezed tight around him. He buried his hand in my hair as I came, mouth still sucking hard on my breast until I was certain I would explode.
Then, suddenly, he was flipping us over, pinning my body under his. His fist tightened in my hair as he drove into me, forcing one orgasm into a second an
d then a third as he managed to hit that spot inside me with unerring accuracy. My nipple throbbed when he released it and I raked my nails down his back, gripping his firm ass even as he began to suck on my neck. He was going to leave a mark, I knew, but I didn’t care about that at the moment. All I cared about was that he never stopped.
“More.” I raised my hips to meet his, driving him deep enough to make me cry out. I felt his slight hesitation and clutched him tighter. “Don’t stop.”
He growled and wrapped one hand around my calf, pulling my leg high and opening me even wider. My eyes closed and my head fell back. My hand clutched him, holding on as he rode my body as thoroughly as I’d been riding his. I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but try to absorb everything I was feeling until it finally burst over me like a blinding light.
I cried out his name as I came again and I felt his entire body shudder. He thrust into me again, taking me deep and hard as he came. He collapsed onto me even as his cock pulsed and emptied inside of me. He wrapped his arms around me, shifting us so that he didn’t crush me, but still stayed inside me, our bodies joined. He pressed his lips against my forehead and I turned my face against his chest, feeling the racing beat of his heart against my mouth.
I wasn’t ready to say that this was love, but a part of me knew that if it wasn’t already, it would be soon. The thought was both terrifying and comforting, but I knew I didn’t have to dwell on it now. For the time being, it was enough for us to just be together and care about each other.
Chapter 7
I’d fully expected to wake up the next morning and find Jasper up and doing something. Making breakfast. Taking a shower.
I certainly never expected to be woken up by the feel of his mouth between my legs, licking and sucking until I came hard against his mouth. Remembering what I’d been thinking the day before when I’d gone down on him, I was only too happy to reciprocate, taking him into my mouth until he called out my name. I swallowed every last drop and then crawled back up his body to snuggle against his side. We’d had sex two more times during the night. Once drawn-out and almost lazy, our bodies moving with and against each other as our foreheads rested together. The other hard and quick. He’d taken me from behind, his hand in my hair, his body curved over my back. His free hand between my legs, keeping constant pressure and friction on my clit until I was nearly in tears.
I could feel it all now. My entire body ached. His mouth on my clit and pussy had almost been too much for the overstimulated flesh and I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to shower without feeling every drop of water with excruciating intensity.
I didn’t want to shower yet though. I just wanted to lay here in Jasper’s arms and pretend that this was the way things were, that there wasn’t anything out in the world that would try to keep us apart. I wanted the simplicity of it even though I knew I could never have it.
I let myself pretend for a few more minutes before sitting up with a sigh.
“You have to go.” Jasper gave me a soft smile.
“I do.” I reached down and traced his bottom lip with my finger. “But I don’t regret any of this.”
He caught my hand between his and pressed my knuckles to his lips. “Me either.” His breath was hot against my skin and my stomach tightened.
How could I want him again?
I didn’t take the time to stop and analyze it because I knew if I did, I’d act on it, and I’d never leave. As tempting as that idea was, I knew I had to go. I had work to do at home and if Mitchell wasn’t worried already, he would be soon. I’d left him a note saying that I was going out and that my phone would be off, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be concerned.
I leaned down and lightly kissed Jasper before climbing out of the bed and heading for the bathroom. I didn’t have clean clothes to wear home, but I definitely wasn’t going to go like this. One glance in the mirror confirmed that a shower was a good decision. My hair was a wild, tangled mess, my lips swollen. I flushed at the dark marks Jasper’s mouth had left on my breasts and neck. I was suddenly glad the weather was cool enough for me to wear high-necked shirts, otherwise, I’d have some awkward questions ahead of me.
Then there were the parts that I couldn’t see, but I felt. The stickiness on my thighs from our combined fluids, the slight change in the way I was walking to put less pressure and friction on my sensitive skin. My pussy throbbing in time with my heart and I knew that I was going to be feeling all of this for the rest of the day.
When I came out of the shower twenty minutes later, I felt much cleaner, but still sore. I wrapped the towel tightly around me as I went back into the bathroom. Jasper was standing by his dresser, naked, his back to me. I flushed when I saw the long, red scratches down his back and even on his ass.
Shit. I hadn’t realized I’d done that.
“Do you want something to wear home?” He half-turned, completely unembarrassed by the fact that he was still naked. He held up a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “They’ll be huge on you, but at least they’re clean.”
“Thank you.” I reached for him and felt my face heat again when his eyes automatically went to the mark he’d left on my neck.
He reached out and brushed his finger over it. “I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away.”
I stared at him for a moment and then laughed. “Seriously?”
“What?” He gave me a puzzled look.
I dropped the towel and gestured for him to look lower. I saw the desire in his eyes first, followed by surprise. I had at least four more hickeys and two bite marks on my breasts.
“Fuck, Shae. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” He started to reach for me, then dropped his hand, his cheeks flushed.
I shook my head and laughed again. “No need to apologize, Jasper. I enjoyed your...attention.” My eyes slid to the mirror where I could see the reflection of his back. “Besides, I’m pretty sure I gave as good as I got.”
“What?”
“Look over your shoulder.”
He did, eyes widening as he saw the scratches I’d made.
“You can’t see all of them,” I said, my cheeks burning. “But when you get in the shower, I’m sure you’ll feel them.”
He looked down at me, a smile curving his lips. “I guess we’re even then.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said as I took a step towards him. We weren’t touching, but I could feel the heat from his body. “Next time, it’s my turn to bite.”
It was nearly noon by the time Jasper finally dropped me off at my place, and as I’d suspected he would be, Mitchell was waiting on the porch. I leaned over and kissed Jasper’s cheek.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
I got out of the car before he could ask anything about my brother. I could feel his eyes on me, but he didn’t get out of the car. Yet another thing that I loved about Jasper. He knew me well enough to know when I was posturing and when I was serious. And I’d been serious about not wanting him and Mitchell to get into it.
“What the hell, Shae?” Mitchell burst out as Jasper drove away.
“I left you a note,” I said mildly as I walked past my brother and into my house. “I said I didn’t know when I’d be home and not to wait up.”
“Yeah,” he said as he followed me upstairs. “But you didn’t say you’d be out fucking Jasper Whitehall all night.”
I turned, clutching my clothes to my chest to keep myself from slapping my brother. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Jasper and I care about each other. It’s called a relationship, Mitchell.”
His eyes flashed. “You can’t be serious. Him? Allen’s only been gone for four months. What’s gotten into you?”
I took a slow breath and then let it out just as slowly. “I’m an adult, Mitchell. I know you care about me, but I’m twenty-six years-old and have been on my own since I left for college. I’m a widow, not some naïve little college girl about to go off on her own for the first time.”
“You
’ll always be my little sister,” he said gruffly.
“I know.” My voice softened. “But it’s my life. My choice.”
I went downstairs without waiting for a response. I tossed my dirty clothes into the basket near the washer and then went back into the living room. Mitchell was still there, scowling, but at least he didn’t argue when I walked in. I picked up the mail sitting on the table and began to go through it, wanting to give Mitchell the chance to finish absorbing what I’d said before I spoke to him again.
I immediately tensed as I saw the envelope. Blank except for my name. This time, my first name was also included. My fingers were shaking so badly that I could barely tear the flap open.
It wasn’t a letter this time. It was a picture.
“Shae, what’s wrong?”
Mitchell’s voice sounded like it was coming from a far-off distance.
I couldn’t stop staring at the picture. It was Allen in a UCLA sweatshirt. He was young, his face youthful and smiling. Tawny hair, hazel eyes. Strong jaw. Nose that was a bit too long. It was Allen. My Allen.
Except I wasn’t the woman standing next to him. No, I amended, a girl, not a woman. She might’ve been eighteen or nineteen, but she had the kind of build and features that would have people thinking of her as a girl for years to come. Her eyes were a dark brown, her hair long and curly, the color of cocoa. She was tiny, barely coming to Allen’s shoulder.
His arm was around her in a possessive gesture I recognized all too well.
I flipped the picture over, but there wasn’t anything written on it. No note in the envelope. Only the picture of my late husband and some woman I’d never seen before.
Who was she? Why had I been sent her picture?
A thousand things flew through my mine, but before I could get a grip on any of them, someone knocked on the door.
I walked over and opened it to find Jasper standing there, my purse in his hand. I hadn’t even realized I’d left it. He took one look at my face and his expression darkened.