The boy said something, making the girl laugh again. Their tone was low enough for the voices not to carry over to where Madison was sitting, but the girl’s laugh was loud, and it was disrupting Madison’s concentration. Eyes squinted in reproach, Madison was about to get up to go ask them to keep it down or leave when the girl turned to the right, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.
Madison gasped as she recognized her best friend. Her jaw dropped open and her gaze snapped to the guy. His face was still hidden, but his dark hair, broad shoulders, and Harvard basketball team T-shirt were dead giveaways.
As she forced her mouth shut, a million questions and ugly emotions crossed Madison’s mind. What the hell is Haley doing with David Williams? Why do they look so cozy with each other? How can Haley be nice to him after what he did to me? How dare she do this to Scott?
And then Madison’s thoughts turned even uglier. Is she cheating on Scott? With his brother? Are they friends? How can she be friends with David? Does Scott know?
And finally the one thought Madison had never dared voice, not even to herself: She doesn’t deserve him.
I’m cursed, was Madison’s next realization. Why do I have to run into all kinds of awkward people and situations today?
Two opposite impulses took hold of her. One side of her wanted to get up and run outside as fast as she could. The other wanted to stay and watch—absorb the evidence of Haley’s betrayal toward her, and toward Scott. When Madison’s thoughts spiraled from observing from a distance to taking a picture and sending it to Scott anonymously, she realized how poisoned she was by the sheer, bilious envy she felt for Haley and Scott’s relationship. She had to leave before she did something stupid and reckless that she wouldn’t be able to take back.
Wondering what in the hell had possessed her when she’d thought to get out of the house to relax, Madison slammed her copy of Don Quixote shut and stormed out of the library.
***
“You’re not going to believe the day I had,” Madison said to Alice, sagging on the couch next to her in their apartment.
“That bad, huh? What happened? I thought I’d spared you the worst…”
“Maybe you did, but the second and third worst definitely happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“Guess who I ran into?”
“Who?”
“Who else would want to steer clear of the place where you were meeting Georgiana?”
Alice stared at her blankly.
“Tyler and Rose, catching up,” Madison announced.
Alice’s eyes widened in horror. “No!”
“Uh-huh. They had the same idea and chose a café on the opposite side of campus. Pity I was there already.”
“Did they see you?”
“No, I managed to stay hidden the entire time and almost peed my pants for the effort.”
Alice chuckled. “Oh, gosh. Please tell me about it…”
Madison was just finishing relating the first horrible half of the afternoon when Haley glided inside the apartment as if walking on a cloud.
“Hi, girls,” she greeted them. “I’ll be out in a sec, save some of the juicy gossip for me.” And then Haley disappeared into her room.
Madison narrowed her eyes at the door.
“She’s definitely more cheerful these days,” Alice said. “I mean, a month ago, when Scott left, she didn’t want to get out of bed, and now she’s dancing on air.”
Now that Madison thought about it, Haley hadn’t been heartbroken over Scott leaving for a while. Not that Haley had ever complained openly, but her sadness had been evident to those who loved her. Until Madison had stopped noticing Haley being inconsolable. Because her friend had not been that sad anymore.
“Hey.” Alice snapped her fingers to attract Madison’s attention. “What’s with the pouty face?”
Madison stopped staring daggers at Haley’s door and turned toward Alice. “I might know why she’s so cheerful.”
“And?”
“I saw her at the library getting all cozy with David.”
“Williams?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Cozy how?”
“They were making a mess of the place with their laughing fits.”
“Madison, what are you implying?”
“Nothing, just telling you what I saw. Haley doesn’t seem heartbroken over Scott leaving anymore and she’s shacking up with his brother while he’s gone.”
Alice scowled at her. “Haley would never cheat on Scott.”
“So what was she doing with David?”
“Maybe they’re friends.” Alice shrugged.
“Since when? Since she’s found out he was the kiss of her life?”
“You’re jumping to conclusions and it’s not fair.”
“I’m not jumping to anything; I’m only saying that something is off here. Has she told you she was seeing David in any capacity: friend or lover?”
“No, but—”
“Me neither,” Madison interrupted. “So why hide it if she’s doing nothing wrong?”
“I don’t know, maybe the topic simply didn’t come up?”
“Seriously, Alice?”
“What do you want me to s—”
“Shh,” Madison whispered. “She’s coming out. Humor me; let’s see if she lies about it.”
Alice threw her a reproachful stare that said: We shouldn’t pull this bullshit on each other. But she kept silent all the same.
“So,” Haley said, settling herself on the armchair opposite to them. “What are you girls up to?”
“I was just telling Alice what an awful day I had.” Madison tried to keep her tone calm, even if all she wanted to do was scream, “You have the best boyfriend in the world; how can you be so disloyal to him? You don’t deserve Scott’s love!”
“Really?” Haley asked. “Why? What happened?”
Madison gave her the short version of her unfortunate encounter with Tyler and Rose, and then asked, “What about you? What did you do today?”
“Oh, nothing special, I was at the library all day, studying.”
No mention of David.
Madison flashed an I-told-you-so stare at Alice, who said, “I thought you didn’t like the library. Were you working on a group project?”
“No, I was alone,” Haley lied through her teeth, and Madison bristled on the couch. “I just needed to get out of the house, and I’m digging the library lately.”
The library, or David Williams?
Alice stared at Madison, at a loss for words, Haley had straight out lied, and now even Alice couldn’t deny something was up.
Eighteen
Madison
Madison was coming back home from the gym the next day when she spotted David Williams walking toward her from the opposite direction. She froze for an instant and, before he could see her, she turned on her heel and hurried away.
“Hey, Blondie,” someone called.
It had to be him; he was the only person in the world who called her Blondie. Madison quickened her pace. She’d be damned before she stopped to say hi to David Williams.
“Oh, come on. I know you’ve seen me.” He was getting nearer. “Would you stop and wait for me?”
Madison turned her head to half-yell, “No, I won’t!” then continued striding away.
“Come on, Blondie.” David caught up with her and, stepping in front of her to block her path, added, “I only ask for five minutes of your time.”
“Five minutes too long,” Madison said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What do you want?”
“To talk to you. Can I get you a coffee or something?”
“No. Way.”
“Please.” He made a cute, pleading face that made him look more handsome than ever. Bastard. “I’ll get you a Chai Tea Latte. Let me say my piece, and I’ll be on my way.”
And he’d somehow remembered her favorite drink. Double bas
tard.
Madison frowned. Why was David being so nice? What did he really want? She was ashamed to admit curiosity was getting the best of her. Was it a coincidence that David wanted to talk to her precisely the next day she’d caught him and Haley together? But he didn’t know they’d been busted. So what could he possibly want?
Against her better judgment, Madison lifted her index finger in front of her in what she hoped would look like an intimidating gesture. “One drink,” she conceded.
“One drink is all I need,” David said, heading toward the Starbucks across the street.
Madison sat at a small table outside while he went inside to order. In the ten minutes it took David to get their drinks, Madison second-guessed her decision a million times. More than once, she was tempted to leave, and at one point, she’d almost gotten up.
“You’re still here, Blondie,” David said when he finally got out, offering her a paper cup and sitting across from her.
Could he read minds now?
Madison took a sip of her drink—delicious, with a pinch of vanilla just as she liked it—and waited for David to talk. Her body language sent a clear message: not gonna make it easy for you.
David sighed, once again reading her attitude all too well. “So…”
“So,” Madison half-repeated, half-scoffed.
He rolled his cup in his hands a few times before he lifted those impossibly blue eyes and stared right at her. “I wanted to apologize. I’ve been an asshole to you, and I’m man enough to own up to my mistakes and say I’m sorry.”
Madison stared at him, flabbergasted. Of all the things she’d imagined he’d say, somehow “Sorry” hadn’t made the list. Why was he apologizing to her? Why now? It sounded too good, too decent, to be true coming from certified bad-boy David Williams. A heartfelt, sincere apology was so much out of his character that maybe it was too good to be true. A flash of him laughing in the library with Haley passed before Madison’s eyes, and she narrowed them at him.
“What’s your angle here, David?”
“No angle, Blondie, just a plain and simple apology.”
“Yeah?” Madison rested her elbows on the table, leaning forward. “So you’re not hoping the second I leave here I’ll run to tell Haley what a reformed man you are?”
“As a matter of fact”—David mirrored her posture, leaning forward on his elbows—“I wanted to ask you to keep this conversation private, just between the two of us.”
Madison reclined back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, studying him for any obvious sign that would give away the lie. She found none. Still, she didn’t trust him. “You’re telling me not to do something and hoping I’ll do it anyway.”
“No, I’m not playing mind games here.” His nostrils flared. “I’m trying very hard to apologize to you for the crappy way I treated you.”
“So why don’t you want me to tell Haley?”
His blue eyes pinned her to the chair. “This apology is about you and no one else.”
“Stop lying, I saw you two getting all cozy at the library yesterday. You’re trying to steal her from right under Scott’s nose while he’s away.”
“Blondie, let me tell you something. In love, there’s no stealing. People who get ‘stolen’ want to be stolen. If Haley loves Scott and wants to stay with him, there’s nothing I could ever do or say to change that. Nothing.” David shrugged. “Do I want Haley? Yes. Do I hate that she’s dating my brother? Yes. But this conversation between us has nothing to do with Haley. I’m trying to do the right thing by you.”
“Why now?” Madison insisted. “You expect me to believe you suddenly had an epiphany and decided you weren’t going to be an asshole anymore?”
“As much as everybody likes to paint me as the bad guy, I’m not all bad.” David shrugged. “The way I treated you was crap. You’re right, I was an asshole—big time. A total dick… Guilty.” He lifted his hands as if in surrender. “I went out with you for the wrong reasons and ended things like a complete douche…”
“What reasons?”
David lowered his gaze before speaking up again. “I wanted to make Haley jealous by dating her roommate… there, you have it. The ugly truth, bare and exposed.”
“You admitted you want Haley, and that you started dating me only to get at her. How the hell am I supposed to believe this is not all a contorted ruse to look good for her after you screwed up by showing your true colors with me?”
“Because those aren’t my true colors,” David snapped. “It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. I have a bad temper and sometimes I act like a total jerk. When I get angry, I lash out. I’m aware I’m not always the nicest guy, but this is not all a diabolical plan to look good for Haley. I’m here to say sorry to you, and only you.” He let the words hang in the air a few seconds before going on. “What I said the day we broke up… I snapped, but I don’t really think any of the things I said.”
“Really?”
David put a hand over his heart. “I swear.”
An evil little smile surfaced on Madison’s lips. “So you don’t think that I talk too much?” She arched an eyebrow at him.
Why could she be this bad ass only with people she didn’t care about?
David’s mouth curled at one corner, and he smartly avoided the question. “You’re beautiful, smart, and any guy would be lucky to have you.”
Despite herself, Madison was mollified. “Then why be so mean?”
“Part of my shitty personality, I guess.” David rolled his eyes. “Come on, Blondie… Of all people, I thought you’d understand what got me so worked up. Cut me some slack, no?”
“Me? Why me?”
“We both know I wasn’t your first pick of the Williams brothers,” David said with disconcerting blatancy.
Cheeks aflame, Madison tried to deny it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No need to lie, Blondie. I never judge.” David’s blue eyes seemed to be piercing right through Madison’s soul. “The night we met, I saw the way you stared at my brother and I saw the way you looked at them together. Tell me it wouldn’t be much easier if Scott was dating a nameless stranger. Or that it wouldn’t hurt less if he loved someone you didn’t know at all, someone you could hate freely. Someone you could hope he’d break up with as soon as possible. Instead of someone you care so much about.” David scoffed bitterly. “The more you care, the more it hurts.”
Speechless, Madison stared into his eyes for a long while. In their expressive blue, she could now discern the pain of older and newer scars. Brigitte and Haley, two girls who’d chosen his brother over him. Was that pain so visible in her own eyes, too? Was that why Haley behaved awkwardly around her sometimes?
Madison swallowed and nodded at David. In a weird way, she’d never felt more understood than right now by this guy she’d thought she hated. Not by Alice, and certainly not by Haley. In a thin voice, she said, “Please don’t tell him, Scott has no idea.”
David nodded back. “Your secret is safe with me, Blondie.”
“And stop calling me that.”
“All right, Barbie.” He flashed her a crooked grin. Guess there wasn’t too much reforming David Williams; he’d always play the handsome bastard part. “Are we good?” he asked, standing up and offering her his hand.
“You’ve earned the benefit of the doubt.” Madison took his proffered hand and let him lift her up. Eyes level, she added, “Nothing more.”
“That’s all I ask.” David Williams smiled and pulled her into a comradely hug.
The world was weird.
***
If David Williams deserved the benefit of the doubt, so perhaps did Haley Thomas. Maybe Madison had been too quick in judging her best friend. From the way David had talked about Haley, there was nothing strictly romantic going on between them. Madison still thought Haley was playing a dangerous game, but the jury hadn’t rolled a verdict yet.
r /> Oh crap, and now she was thinking like a lawyer. Being part of the Smithson family did leave its legal mark, no matter how hard one tried to escape it.
Demoralized, Madison shuffled a few sheets of paper around on the floor. She was getting nowhere with this research project on Don Quixote. She felt like she, too, was fighting against windmills. Not because her enemies were imaginary, but because she was fighting a losing battle.
Madison collected all the scattered pages that had been resting on the floor for the past week and decided to call it a day. Her mind was too crammed with thoughts, doubts, and conspiracy theories for research work. She hadn’t told Haley about her little chat with David. Mostly because she still wasn’t one hundred percent sure Haley hearing about his redemption had not been his motive all along, and the apology all an act. But she also hadn’t confronted Haley about seeing them together at the library. And the number of secrets they were keeping from each other was growing sickeningly fast.
Could a friendship already put to the test by a shared love interest survive so many deceptions? Madison loved Haley, but a small part of her couldn’t help hating her too. She wanted to see Haley happy with her boyfriend and at the same time desperately wanted them to break up. Madison wanted everything and the opposite of everything, and it was driving her crazy.
A knock on the door made her lift her gaze from the pages. “Come in,” she called.
“Hey.” Alice poked her head inside the room. “Haley and I are going to watch an impromptu basketball game, Jack’s playing, and then everyone’s going for dinner… You coming?”
“Yeah.” Madison nodded. “I need a break, just give me five minutes to get ready.”
“Sure, we’ll be outside.”
Madison didn’t feel like being in a skirt, so she pulled her dress over her head and hopped into a pair of skinny jeans and a white T-shirt that said: the book was better. Flat sandals on, hair up in a messy bun, and she was ready. At the last second, Madison grabbed a paperback from her desk just in case the game got boring.