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He carried her to the corner that offered at least partial privacy from the windows that opened over the silent gym below. She applauded Larem’s clear thinking, because at the moment all of her own thoughts were focused on getting as close to him as possible.
Her back bumped up against the wall, momentarily jarring her out of her passion-induced fog. What were they doing? What a stupid thing to ask when the answer was so obvious. The real questions were why they’d ended up in each other’s arms again and how far was she willing to let this go.
Larem felt her hesitation and his hand froze, hovering at the elastic band of her panties. Once again he was offering her a last chance of refusal. They both knew this had to stop. This shouldn’t happen.
“Hurry!” she whispered, before she regained her sanity.
He set her back down on her feet, fumbled with the buttons on his fly, and then tore off her panties. Then she was right back against that same wall, with nowhere left to go but on the wild ride of hunger that drove them both.
When he slid into her, it was one of the most perfect moments in her life. And when she walked away from him a few minutes later, it was one of the worst.
Chapter 15
Three weeks passed, each day dragging by slower than the one before. After Larem’s last talk with Devlin, he’d avoided spending much time around headquarters. The leader was seriously pissed about Larem’s involvement with Sasha in defiance of his previous order to stay away from her. Well, at least Devlin was finally getting what he wanted.
Duke’s future with the organization was still up in the air. He was restricted to limited duty, and his activities were being closely monitored—not to mention his e-mails and phone calls. From all reports, he was abiding by the rules, but Larem suspected he was just waiting for the uproar to die down before trying something again.
Lonzo had promised to keep his ear to the ground for any rumors linking Sasha to Larem. So far, Duke and his two buddies were keeping their mouths shut on the subject. He was glad for her sake.
One good thing had come from that day, though. Craig had actually called, asking if Larem was still interested in giving him lessons. The young Paladin was on temporary assignment down near Mount St. Helens, but they were scheduled to start upon his return. Until then, Larem was back to trying to find some meaning in his life. Lonzo had gone on the same mission and was due back any day. While he’d been gone, Larem had spent the long nights walking the streets of Seattle between sessions of studying Kalith healing.
The only bright spots were the hours he spent in the undemanding company of his four-legged friends at the animal clinic. He’d had several successes healing both the physical and emotional wounds suffered by Dr. Isaac’s patients, but he knew his greatest victory was Chance.
The big dog was now trusted to wander free around the clinic for hours at a time, returning to his pen only to sleep or when there was another dog in the clinic who might go on the attack. His enthusiastic greeting every time Larem walked in the door helped hold the loneliness at bay.
On this particular morning Larem knelt down on one knee in front of Chance and gave the dog a good ear scratch. “Ready for your walk, boy?”
His happy whine and thumping tail were answer enough.
“Silly question, Larem. That dog has been watching the door for the past half hour. ” The vet looked at Chance over the top of his glasses. “I hate to say it, but it’s time we start looking for a home for him. ”
Larem’s stomach plummeted. He’d known the moment would come when Chance would move on and that it was a good thing. The big fellow deserved a whole lot of happiness in his life. That didn’t mean it would be easy to let him go.
“Have you had anyone interested?”
“One couple looked at him but then decided he was too big for their yard. ” Dr. Isaac reached over to pet Chance’s head. “I know you’ll miss him, but some lucky person is going to offer him a home. We’ll make sure it’s an extra good one. ”
“That’s what we’ve been working toward. ” Which was true, but that didn’t mean Larem was happy about it. “Come on, boy, let’s get going before the rain starts. ”
Outside, he let Chance choose their route. They’d spent so much time exploring together that the dog knew the streets around the clinic as well as Larem did. He even seemed to sense that it was important to cruise by a certain coffee shop on each trip. Sometimes Larem stopped to buy a cup of tea or coffee; sometimes he didn’t, but every time, the two males paused to look inside just in case Sasha happened to be there.
So far, they’d had no luck, but that could change. Larem needed to know how she was doing. Their last encounter had left too many things unspoken between them. After they’d found release in each other’s arms, she’d calmly walked away without looking back.
And fool that he was, he’d let her go.
In the days since, he’d kept telling himself it had been the right thing to do, even with his soul screaming out that he was making the mistake of a lifetime. He’d already let one possible mate slip away. But that hadn’t hurt nearly as badly as watching Sasha disappear down the hall and out of his life.
Later that night, after Hunter left and Lonzo turned in for the night, Larem had stood out on the patio and stared up at the stars, recalling each sensation as he’d taken Sasha up against that wall. Had he been too rough with her? He’d wanted to leave his mark on her soul, not on her creamy, soft skin.
He’d never experienced anything as sweet as the welcoming heat of her body when he’d come deep inside her while Sasha’s own climax washed over them both. It was then that he realized they’d been so caught up in the moment that they hadn’t used protection.
The thought hadn’t been far from his mind ever since. Perhaps she was taking that pill humans used, but Sasha hadn’t mentioned it. Even if that was the case, would it even be effective with his alien DNA?
So, yes, he needed to see her, needed to know. If he didn’t run into her soon, he’d have to seek her out. For days his dreams had been filled with images of her, her belly round and ripe with their child—and mostly they’d been good dreams. Would she think him crazy for feeling that way? Would she cherish the child even if she rejected the father?
Too many questions with no answers.
Chance pulled at the leash, his tail a blur, yanking Larem back into the present. He whined in excitement and looked back at Larem with a big doggy grin. There was only one explanation: the dog had spotted Sasha.
Evidently she’d just been heading into the coffee shop, but right now she stood frozen in the doorway. Larem signaled Chance to stop and sit. The dog did as ordered but clearly wasn’t happy about it. Larem understood his feelings on the subject, but he didn’t want to crowd Sasha.
Instead, the two males stayed right where they were and prayed their female would come to them.
Okay, at least the dog was happy to see her. Maybe Larem was, too, but right now it was hard to interpret his stoic expression.
“Excuse me. ”
Sasha jumped at the sound of the voice coming from behind and then realized she was blocking the doorway. “Sorry. ”
After pasting a bright smile on her face, she crossed the few feet to where Larem and Chance were standing. After all, she’d walked all the way to this particular coffee shop on the off chance she’d accidentally run into Larem. She had a decision to make and needed to see him before she made up her mind.
Perhaps a walk around the block with Larem and Chance was exactly what she needed to clear her head and let her think things through. Still procrastinating, she leaned down to let Chance give her a big lick before dealing with the other half of the pair. She found it interesting how everyone else passing by gave the two such a wide berth, as if sensing they were every bit as dangerous as they looked.
It was hard not to get lost in the intensity of Larem’s gaze when their eyes finally met. Sometimes sh
e wondered if his Kalith DNA gave him the ability to see far more about a person than she could. For sure, he seemed to look straight into the heart of her. Fearing what he might see there, she turned her attention back to Chance.
“Well, I see you and your buddy here are still wearing out the sidewalks. ”
“We have enjoyed our walks. ” The light in his eyes dimmed a bit.
She asked, “Mind some company? D. J. and Cullen managed to recoup an impressive amount of the money Kincade had stolen, and I’ve been holed up in my office dealing with it. Today I think I’ve earned some time out here in the sunshine before I go there. ”
“That is good news, but weren’t you going to get some coffee?” He gave her the ghost of a smile. “We can wait for you. ”
“If you’re sure. ” Before she’d gone two steps, Chance blocked her way. “It’s okay, boy, I’ll be right back. ”
When the dog wouldn’t move, Larem held out the leash. “Why don’t I get it for you. Do you want the same as last time?”
He remembered? Smiling, she nodded but then had second thoughts. “Better make it decaf this time. ”
“Afraid you won’t be able to sleep?”
Once again she nodded. Better to let him assume that was the reason. She reached for her wallet.
He waved her off. “My treat. ”
While she waited for him to get through the line, she tugged Chance over to a low concrete wall nearby where she could sit down and pet him. She hugged the dog close, taking comfort in his solid warmth. God, what was she going to do? She thought she could stay away from Larem; Lord knows she’d tried. But even without the latest complication, the temptation to seek him out, to make sure he was all right, had been unbearable.
The door of the shop opened again. He was back, carrying two coffees and a bottled water. Larem handed her the coffees and then pulled a shallow bowl out of his jacket pocket and filled it for Chance. She liked that about him, that he cared so much about his furry friend.
After the dog slurped his fill of water, the three of them moved on down the sidewalk. For the first couple of blocks, they concentrated on sipping their coffee and avoiding conversation.
The forced peace couldn’t last. Nothing had changed. She was who she was—a woman with her future all planned out. There was so much she could accomplish here in Seattle given the time and opportunity. Ever since David’s death, she’d hated everything connected to the Others and their secret reign of terror. It still made her sick to think about how many good men like her first love had burned out their lives trying to stanch the flow of crazies across the barrier.