I smiled, overjoyed to see him, but did my best to hide my enthusiasm. Did I really want the guy who dumped me to know how much I needed and wanted him or that I thought about him almost every minute of every day?
No.
“How was your weekend?” I asked him, keeping my voice light.
“Why don’t I walk her in?” Hayden asked Chait.
“Sure,” Chait answered. “I’ll meet you here after school, Tessa.”
I nodded and glanced at Hayden. He looked like he itched to say something.
“I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie Friday night,” he said once we’d created distance from Chait.
My mouth dropped open, legs halting mid-step. Why on earth would he want to go out with me? He’d been there and already dumped me. There had to be a catch. Maybe he wanted another chance to sleep with me. Or maybe he found the whole princess thing intriguing.
My eyes narrowed. “You must be still traumatized by the Boris battle and forgotten we were stuck together for a brief moment in time, not because you wanted to be with me. It’s over now and you can move on.”
I resumed walking toward the building and he followed.
“I’m asking because I want to spend time with you.”
“You’re only talking to me, because you figure it’s easier if we’re getting along. We’re both freaks in this school, so maybe you feel a connection. Or you think you can beat your friends to sleeping with me. But they’re only interested because they thought you were. You weren’t and aren’t.”
“What if it’s real though? What if I’m asking you out because I want to?” Hayden asked.
He’d finally lost it. And once I walked away, he’d remember all the reasons he didn’t want to associate with a girl like me. I turned to go. “Get a grip.”
Hayden yanked my upper arm, dragging me back to face him. He swooped and my entire body sizzled when his lips touched mine. He plummeted, looted, stole while securing me firmly against him.
Sadly, the thought of resisting him never crossed my mind. I dug my fingers into his shoulders and clung to him. His grip tightened, his hand at my back almost lifting me up and molding me to him.
I don’t know how long we kissed. I’d lost track of time, lost track of everything.
He let go and I relinquished my hold. As his body slowly got further away, I became aware of what happened. I’d kissed him again.
And I liked it more than ever.
Damn. Without a word, I spun and raced to my class.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Hayden
Every time I looked at Tessa, I remembered how I’d given her up. How I lost her. We still had all the same classes together, which made her hard to avoid. For four weeks, I tried to forget her and failed — probably because I didn’t really want to.
She was a good sport, always ready with a smile. But that was Tessa — kind to everyone even if they didn’t deserve it. Deep down, it terrified me to think she thought I was a creep for forcing a kiss on her earlier. I shouldn’t have even asked her to the movies. It was stupid. It’s not like she would’ve thought I was sincere, not after my stellar performance that showed her what a parasite I was. Maybe once school was over, months from now when we saw each other less often, I’d eventually get over her.
Maybe not.
School had become brutal without her to talk to and laugh with. Even if I couldn’t have Tessa the way I wanted her, it was still easier being around her than not. At least I got to see her now and then, when I trained Queen Jane and a select few others part time. The queen had offered me a full-time position, which would throw Tessa and me together more often in the long term. I seriously considered saying yes.
Since I suggested to Brad and Skyler that they stop picking on little people and grow up, they seemed to have matured somewhat. Today, however, was not one of those days and they jabbered endlessly about girls. I doubted there were many who could plunge to their depths of crassness.
Me, on other hand… I couldn’t indulge in that sort of thing, especially about Tessa. I hadn’t been with anyone else nor did I want to be. I just wanted Tessa back. To the guys, I could act like she wasn’t worth talking to, but I knew the truth. She deserved better than any of us.
During lunch, I sat where I could watch her, thinking about the kiss I’d laid on her that morning.
“I heard some of the guys talking about Tessa,” Skyler began. “Apparently they’ve got a pool going to see who hooks up with her next. I’m going to put twenty on Joey. I think he’s got the best chance since he’s got that clean-cut thing going on.”
“They’re taking bets, huh?” I asked. “Well, do me a favor and spread the word — first guy that goes near Tessa is going to get his ass beat. Tessa is off limits to every guy in this school. Got it?” I patted Skyler on the back. “I saved you twenty bucks.”
Chapter Forty
Tessa
“Tessa, wait up!” Nadia yelled.
I stopped before the limo and grinned, anticipating another round of ‘You have two gorgeous guys to choose from. Why are you wasting them both?’ “What’s up? Come to ogle my hot driver?”
“No. I mean, yeah. I’ll be forever in debt to your rich long-lost relative for giving him a job, so I can gawk at him every day. But, no.” She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m here. I have to tell you something.”
Corinne caught up, out of breath. “This is good.”
“There’s a pool going around on who’s going to be the first to sleep with you.” Nadia beamed.
They would all lose. Who knows when I’d feel like dating again — it would be a long, long time. I knew that much.
“Get this.” Nadia rubbed her hands together. “Hayden spread the word that you were off-limits and the first guy to try would get pounded.”
Corinne’s eager eyes widened. “Nadia and I think he’s madly in love with you. Do you ever look at him during lunch? He’s turned into this tragic brooder, always watching you.”
If only that were true. No way I would buy into that and let my hopes fester. My dreams would get shot down proportional to the amount of hope I’d built up.
Hayden seemed to magically appear and suddenly Corinne and Nadia had other things to do.
“What’s up?” I asked, restraining myself from fidgeting.
He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at his feet. “Uhm… never mind.”
I watched him bolt to his car, completely baffled as to what he’d wanted.
Chapter Forty-one
Hayden
“Why haven’t you asked her out yet?” I asked Chait. He and I were supposed to be training, but my mind kept drifting. Knowing Tessa was only a few rooms away made it even more difficult to concentrate.
“Are you referring to Tessa?” His leg struck out, aimed at my knee.
I dodged his kick. “Who else?”
“God. You’re blind.” Chait paused to wipe sweat from his temple. “Maybe Tessa is the only girl existing in your little universe but, in reality, she has a very beautiful older sister.”
“Right. I keep forgetting that.” Zoe was pretty, but not for me.
“Why haven’t you asked Tessa out?” Chait fired back, throwing a left punch that connected with my side.
I grunted at the impact. “I did. She thinks I’m playing games.”
“Tell her the truth. That you broke up with her because, you know, you’re a total wuss and you were terrified you’d get her killed.” He punched me in the face and my nose burned.
So Chait had caught on. I struck out, hitting him in the stomach. I immediately followed it with a kick, clipping his chin.
“Good one.” He wiggled his jaw. “Tell her you’re in love with her.”
“Maybe I’m not good enough for her. Maybe she needs a guy more like you,” I said. As the words left my mouth, I wanted to shoot something. “Let’s take a break.”
“Sure. If you need one.” Chait grinned and used a nearby
rag to wipe the perspiration from his neck. “My mentor used to say that no one can make us feel badly about ourselves unless we allow it. He lectured me endlessly that the biggest offenders to shrink our self-worth weren’t others, but ourselves.”
I stared at the ground, knowing he was right. Sam told me over and over that I wasn’t worth a crap. When he’d stopped, it didn’t matter, because my inner voice had taken his place. Hell, the last few years, I’d gone above and beyond trying to prove him right. I spun to avoid eye contact with Chait. But the mirrors stretching along almost every wall made it impossible to hide.
“You’re not garbage, Hayden. Honestly, I thought it would be a piece of cake snagging Tessa right from under your nose. You made it so easy at first. After seeing how you felt about her and how you handled yourself, I backed off. You’ve been completely honorable in every way. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you won’t be competing with me for Zoe.” Chait sighed and tossed the rag on the table. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
“Say what?” Now this I had to hear.
“You’re a good guy, Hayden. If we’re ever in battle again, I want you on my side.” He shuddered. “You and Tessa are making me go soft. Stop being stupid and go tell her you love her. She may not believe you, but you’re going to be patient and fight for her. Because you deserve her. Got it? Now get the hell out of here.”
Chapter Forty-two
Tessa
I usually did my homework in the living room where the occasional foot traffic would distract me. Schoolwork paled next to combat training and telekinesis practice, so I welcomed any interruption.
Behind me, I heard footfalls. Without looking, I knew it was Hayden. The training room was at the other end of the building, yet today, it seemed like no place was safe from him. Why did I keep running into him? After his kiss earlier that morning, the need for more nearly overwhelmed me. “What’s going on?” I asked, fighting to maintain my focus on the pages in front of me.
He stopped to my right and stood. “I lied to you. You know, when we broke up.”
Our break-up was the last thing I wanted to rehash with him. It was painful enough remembering it in private. After casting him a quick glance, I refocused on my books. “We? You mean when you dumped me?” I didn’t think I could handle some horrible confession about how he’d never really liked me. But like a train wreck, I had to look. “You lied about what?”
“The line I gave you about how different we were. And the other crap about how I needed someone more relaxed.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away. “I’d been sparring with Chait that day and it was mind-opening. It dawned on me that if we were in a situation where I was going down — which was extremely likely considering how weak I was compared to older sorcerers — you’d do something stupid to save me. I felt like a liability and figured I’d probably get you killed. So I broke up with you, hoping I could keep you from doing something stupid.”
What?
It sounded so convincing. “Sure, Hayden. From the moment you asked me to be your girlfriend, you intended us to last forever. Yep. Whatever.” I gave a half snort. But on the inside, I wished with my entire being that he spoke the truth. After the way he’d dumped me though, I couldn’t put my faith in him again. “I mean, geez, you were so heartbroken, you waited all this time to tell me. Must have been difficult for you.” I pretended to get engrossed in my studies.
“I was afraid to say anything, because I thought you’d do exactly what you’re doing right now.” His clothes rustled, but I didn’t dare turn around to look. “Tessa…”
Doing my best to ignore him, I copied a math problem onto a piece of paper.
“I love you. I don’t want to be without you. Just…”
Had I heard that right? I dropped my pencil and turned around. “You love me, because we’re so completely wrong for each other?”
“If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go. The old me would have made sure we slept together first. If I only liked you, I wouldn’t be here groveling. Tessa, I’m in love with you.”
Was it possible he spoke the truth and really did love me? Could a guy like Hayden be capable of truly loving only one girl? I didn’t think so, not when he’d grown so used to having as many as he wanted, any time the urge grabbed him. I furrowed my brow, keeping my mouth in a straight line. “Of course you are. Can I get back to my homework now?”
When he left, I gathered my books, ran into the nearest bathroom and wept my heart out. The bastard. That was the second time I’d cried over him.
It would be the last.
* * * *
“You’re not concentrating, Tessa. Did you skip dinner or something? Do you need a break?” Chait and his food. He would make some lucky girl a wonderful wife one day.
I set the katana on the weapons table and stared at the wall. “It’s Hayden. He’s hit on me twice today. Really messing with my head. The son of a bitch even had the balls to kiss me.”
“He’s in love with you.” Chait waved his own katana in the air, as if that explained and excused everything. “Of course he’s going to try again. If he’s smart, he won’t give up until you stop being stupid.”
“Chait.” I spun to face him. “What the hell is up with you?”
“Oh, sorry.” He smiled sheepishly. “I mean, until you smarten up, Princess Tessa.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I sighed, defeated. “How come all of a sudden you’re on his side?”
“It’s not sudden. I was there when he broke up with you. I watched him. He never acted like he was done with you, Tessa. That was a very tortured guy. Sickening to watch actually.” Chait faked a gag. “He was so twisted up over you, I considered killing him to put him out of his misery. But since you love him, I let him live.” Chait smirked.
“No, I don’t,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, you do.” Chait rolled his eyes. “I told him he needed to stop being an idiot. Looks like he’s listening. Now it’s your turn to stop being an idiot.” He set his sword down and stood in front of me. “Stop letting old hurts get in the way of letting him love you. He’s worth it. Go get him.”
My heart thumped like a drum in my chest. Was it possible Chait spoke the truth?
“I’m going to go throw up now, because I’ve turned into my dad. If vomiting doesn’t work, I’ll see if I can get an exorcism. Later, Princess.” He cuffed the top of my head in an ultimate act of disrespect. I kicked him in the ass just before he got to the door. He poked his head back in. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that Hayden told me Christina’s parents are out of town again. He’s going to her party tonight.”
* * * *
I squeezed past the threshold of Christina’s house. Crammed bodies writhed and bumped to the pounding beat blaring from the speakers. The smell of sweat and alcohol assaulted my senses, the flashing lights morphing the dancers into characters from a bad eighties movie.
Scanning the crowd, I found Brad dancing with the school skank, Skyler making out with a brunette and a couple of my friends scattered throughout the room. Then I spotted Hayden. His eyes riveted on me as he stood motionless, like a statue against the wall. At that moment, I forgot we were in a swarm of partiers bubbling over with teenage angst.
I saw only him.
Peace washed over me knowing that he’d fight for me and never let me down. I trusted him. He still had some rough edges. Despite his evolution over the past weeks, he hadn’t changed that much. Hayden was the complete opposite of the kind of guy I’d intended to wait for.
But he was the guy I needed.
After rejecting him earlier, would he still want me? Did the expression on his face mean loathing or longing?
From across the room, I looked into his unwavering eyes and knew the answer. Was it real love though? Would it endure through the years? The centuries? I couldn’t be sure, but he did care. Deeply. That was obvious. Besides, I loved him enough to carry us both.
&nb
sp; Picking up my pace, I zipped through the crowd, keeping him in my sights. When I was only a few feet away, I launched myself at him, knowing he’d catch me. My legs wrapped around his hips and my face burrowed in his neck, inhaling his familiar musky scent. “I love you, too.”
“I know.” His arms wrapped tight around my waist, squeezing me close.
“You know?” I withdrew slightly to see his face.
A smile teased his lips. “I hoped. I figured this much love couldn’t be all one-sided. You had to love me back, at least a little. Besides, as you said, we’re completely wrong for each other. How can anyone resist that?”
“I made a mistake saying that,” I said softly for his ears only. “Because everything about this now feels exactly right.”
My body slid against his as he slowly lowered my feet to the floor. His palm flattened on the nape of my neck and urged me closer. I lifted my chin and studied his face. He loved me, like he’d said. That knowledge spiked my adrenalin and rushed blood through my veins in an explosion of delicious desire. Fire blazed through me, sending little tremors to my limbs as his warm mouth opened mine, his tongue searching and drowning out everything but him.
I pushed my palms against his chest and freed my imprisoned, but insanely happy, lips. “What do you say we get out of here?” I asked in a shaky voice.
Hayden didn’t answer. Taking my hand, he parted the sea of people and I followed.
We drove in silence, Hayden’s hand holding mine when he didn’t need it to steer. He parked in the driveway of his mom’s house and I got out without a word, waiting while he unlocked the front door. As I walked down the hallway ahead of him, I heard him close the front door and turn the deadbolt. I glanced his way from the doorway of the bedroom. His smoldering eyes made my heart beat a little faster.
I turned and faced him as he came in. My hands found the top of my blouse to push the button through the small hole.